The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.
Before we start, don't forget to check out my updated DVD reviews of Unscarred: The Life of "Sick" Nick Mondo and Behind Closed Doors with Jake "The Snake" Roberts, a new book review for James Guttman's World Wrestling Insanity and a new edition of The Gimmick Table over at WrestleCrap.
Dusty Rhodes' DVD talks~!: If a THREE DISC DVD set that is loaded with a ton of great matches and promos didn't sell you on picking up the new WWE DVD release spotlighting the career of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes, I don't know what could. Actually I do now. What if that DVD shot promos?! Here's a quote from a DVDR poster concerning the upcoming DVD: " I work at Best Buy and we got the Dusty Rhodes DVDs, that are coming out next Tuesday, in today. And the case SPEAKS! There's a "press here" button and there's about 5 sound clips. One is the "wine and dine with kings and queens..." promo. Another is a promo I'm assuming on Superstar Graham, and there are a few others. They all last about 10 seconds." Well, after reading that I went from "I'll be picking up the DVD this week" to "I'll be camping outside Best Buy Monday night." Click Here if you want the Dusty Rhode's DVD delivered straight to your door and for a great price. GOD BLESS THE WWE~!~! WEI Rating: + 10
Paul Heyman and Mick Foley inspired ECW debate in front of fans wondering WTF they are talking about.: Who could forget the last great debate on Raw when Scott Steiner debated Harvard Chris Nowinski over the merits of Operation Iraqi Freedom? Heyman and Mick Foley had their own debate on Raw with a lot of killer lines, but unfortunately it was in front of a WWE group of fans who either a) didn't care what was being said, or b) didn't know what the f--- was going on. As much as people love to rag on John Cena, he has delivered in a major way on bringing people to the shows, especially kids. Those kids were not around during ECW's heyday and the promos so far leading up to this year's One Night Stand just about assume fans know everything about ECW.
Here's some of Foley's zingers towards Heyman: "I wish you luck with your charming little band of pot smoking, porn addicted, cheap, second-rate Mick Foley ripoffs. Best of luck to you," and "They didn't have what it took to do what I did, apply their craft on the main stage of WWE. The gutsiest move I ever made was wandering out of my comfort zone to the great wide unknown and becoming one of the biggest stars this business has ever seen. You don't hate me, Paul, because I sold out. Everybody left you eventually. You hate me because I had the audacity to realize on my own volition what everyone did sooner or later - that the road from ECW led only four ways, as a drunk, a drug addict, a criminal, or a corpse."
As good as Heyman and Foley were this week, the verbal battles between Heyman and Jerry Lawler a decade ago were so much better, probably because of the real life feelings of the two men where as Foley is obviously just playing a character. WEI Rating: + 1
Fake Kane interrupts match with Fake Diesel in front of an entire audience filled with Real Apathy: There are only
a few times when I watch wrestling when I can honestly say, "You know, I didn't see that coming at all." And I certainly didn't expect the Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin match from this week's Raw to end with the Old School version of Kane coming out to chokeslam See No Evil Kane. I guess I need to give this a week or two to see where WWE plans on going with this, but I wasn't alone when I just stared at the screen in disbelief as the lack of crowd response spoke volumes. WWE gets a plus for having this tie into the Kane masking "speaking" to Kane over the past few weeks but the choice of wearing one of the Carlito wigs took down the believability factor a couple notches. WEI Rating: - 2
****Pac Man: The Movie. Seriously. It's on YouTube and it's not very long and for some reason I had a flashback to when I was a kid grooving out to Buckner & Garcia's Pac Man Fever song. Another example to add to the list of The Good Ol' Days Weren't That Good.
Kurt Angle, who last year hated ECW, is Heyman's first announced ECW draft pick: Who the hell had this genius idea? I love Kurt Angle, don't get me wrong, but this is the worst possible the decision WWE could make for just about everyone involved. WWE loses yet another SmackDown star. ECW gains a guy that is already playing hurt and is going to be working with a standard of wrestler that isn't exactly at the quality of Rey Mysterio, and that's the understatement of the year. Kurt Angle now has to wrestler harder, in front of a much more demanding fanbase, for much less money. The ECW fans are asked to accept a guy as the top name of their brand that literally shit on the brand during last year's ECW build up. Am I missing something?! WEI Rating: - 5
***Speaking of ECW, you got to check out this classic ECW on SCI-FI network by Sean Carless Click Here to see the page. Carless has a riotous send-up of the press release WWE gave out detailing the demographic ECW would have to cater to, including the "Sci Fi audience used to things Sci Fi." Carless then
details exciting new shows including: THE SPIRIT SQUAD (LITERALLY). We all know Vince's fascination with these guys will end eventually, so you might as well think ahead. So, with that said, Kenny, Mitch, Nicky and Mikey will trade in their "spirit" for capturing actual"spirits", when they exchange their pom-poms for a proton pack! Introducing The Spirit Squad; paranormal scientists and Ghostbusters extraordinaire!
Unlike their WWE stints, the Spirit Squad will be over as babyfaces after they rid the ECW of a marshmallow man (Mick Foley). However, things will go south fast after they accidentally suck Terry Funk into a ghost trap despite the fact that he's still alive (although, it is kinda tough to tell sometimes). From there, an angry Vince will demand the ECW ghost containment unit will be emptied, in turn unleashing the vengeful spirits of Public Enemy and Big Dick Dudley to do all sorts of damage!....well, for about 24 hours anyway, until Johnny Ace releases them all for not working "WWE style". BRILLIANT~!
*** I bet you have never seen a AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels DANCE OFF~! Now you have.
New documentary DVD on World Class coming very soon: How many WEI readers out there are like me, and can remember coming home to watch World Class Championship Wrestling on ESPN? This was before I had the internet and before I was reading the dirt sheets. I remember the Sportatorium. I remember GIGANTOR Marc Lawrence. The Freebirds. The Von Erichs. Man, I would totally mark out for Gino Hernandez and Chris Adams. In fact, I would say the death of Gino Hernandez – when it was revealed on TV – hit me harder than any wrestler's death since. I was in complete and
utter shock. Over the years I've been consumed with reading the backstage stories on what World Class was really like and I think we all know the tragedies involved.
Brian Harrsion is about to release documentary DVD "Heroes of World Class" and I'm urging everyone reading this to click on over and put in a pre-order. I've already talked to people who have watched the DVD and have heard nothing but raves. This is the real deal and once it gets around will be what everyone is talking about. If you loved Beyond the Mat and the Rise and Fall of ECW than this is the type of movie for you. In fact Keith Lipinski says it's better than Rise and Fall. There is a ton of information over at www.RightHerePictures.com to fill you in on the details, including trailers and pics from the film, but trust me, you want this DVD. Pre-order it and after you watch the DVD you can send in your thanks. If you hate the DVD, you can send in any hate filled Derek is so full of shit diatribe and I'll post it here for everyone to see. Hell, I'll pay Alvarez so you can have an on-air shout out calling me a piece of crap if you don't love this film. It's being released on June 15th, so get your copy today. WEI Rating: + 5
Ring of Honor Homicide: If you are not checking out the ROHVideos website than you are doing yourselves a big disservice. The latest update has the AWESOME spectacle of Homicide finally helping ROH in war against Chris Hero and CZW. Me want this DVD as soon as it is released! WEI Rating: + 2
***You haven't lived until you've watched Vince McMahon sing "Stand Back" at the Slammies. I remember back when the Slammies first aired on TV and I was so pissed that we didn't have Fox on my cable system. Now that I think of it, I still haven't seen that damn show! Calling all bootleggers, email me stat!
"You bought WHAT for fourteen dollars?!!!": So I log onto F4Wonline the other day and screaming at me was an ad to buy the brand new Figure 4 Weekly Empire dogtag~! Here's the sales pitch: Official personalized F4W~! Empire dog tag! Each tag is personalized with your real or screen name (please specify) and numbered on a first-come, first-served basis. HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE!
I don't even know what the hell Hasta la Victoria Seimpre means, but I know I want to be a part of it. I immediately placed my order as a faithful servant of the Empire. Ten bucks isn't all that much to be a part of the REVOLUTION. Four dollars shipping was a bit steep, I mean this isn't a god damn encyclopedia being sent to my house, but whatcha gonna do. Then my girlfriend asked what I was doing and led to the above quote. Well, there's casualties in every war and I'm willing to take one for the team! WEI Rating: + 1
Did you know about the ECW show next Wednesday?: Dear Lord, there is an ECW special on USA next Wednesday, a PPV next Sunday, and a weekly TV series on Sci-Fi in a couple weeks and WWE is doing just about the worst job possible in promoting any of them. Crazy when you consider how HOT everyone last year was for One Night Stand. Hell, I bought the four hundred dollar tickets and drove down to New York City knowing I would have to be at work the next morning at 5:00 a.m! WEI Rating: - 5
***Check out some kick ass Pro Wrestling Guerrilla music videos: The Battle for Los Angeles, Super Dragon: Evolution of a legend, Californication, Davey Richards: Intensity personified, and Human Tornado: Don't fight the pimpin'~!
If you're not watching SmackDown, look what you are missing:
Finlay using a Leprechaun as a weapon.
King Booker.
Vito in a dress.
Michelle McCool and her Wonder Bra doing a bad imitation of Miss Hancock.
The Miz as host.
In short, other than the Booker stuff, be glad you ain't watching. WEI Rating: - 3
Your Internet Audio update for this week:
The Dr. Keith Show -
Lacey~! James Guttman!
Mike and Adam Audio Nightmare - Join Adam and
Mike for a special mid-week edition of the Audio Nightmare and it's time for
JUNIOR WARZ~!, as both New Japan and All Japan offer competing tournaments.
Plus, Adam & Mike's thoughts on WWECW, the WCW Hotline, vegetarian hotdogs~! One last thing...is El Samurai really Sam Houston under a mask?!?!
James Guttman's Audio Insanity - Here comes Axe and Smash...DEMOLITION~! Seriously!
Wrestling Mayhem~! The guys running Wrestlng Mayhem audio are kicking ass in terms of getting podcast numbers. Check it DJ Sorg and Lunchbox as they tackle all the hot topics in wrestling.
Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 59
This week's net change: + 6
Current enjoyment level: 65
Special thanks to the Dr. Keith show's Keith Lipinski, Mike Roe, the Wrestling Fan's Sean Carless, and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.
Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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