The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.
***Remember that all links in WEI will open up in a new browser window, so feel free to check them all out, we'll be here when you're finished!
ECW on Sci-Fi turns out to be something that no one expected… or wanted: How to describe ECW's first show? I went into the show with what PWTorch editor Wade Keller calls "cautious optimism." I left the show thinking "ECW is doomed." I still think there is plenty of time to change course and right the ship, but I'm not convinced WWE thinks anything is wrong. In fact, after the 2.8 rating, I don't think Sci Fi channel thinks anything is wrong either. It's finally, FINALLY sinking into my peanut-sized brain that this isn't ECW coming back, this is Vince McMahon's version of ECW on WWE TV. Like a fish being teased by a dangling lure, I have a ton of things that I remember being great - like Paul Heyman, the Sandman, and the F.B.I. – being put in front of me to distract me from the fact that WWE has consistently buried the ECW brand.
Let's look at the show. It started off with Rob Van Dam being given the new ECW belt by Paul Heyman. Being taped before a SmackDown crowd, this segment came across like death warmed over. It got worse. Edge showed up and here was RVD and Heyman basically accepting him into the ECW ring. Hell, Heyman was grinning ear to ear! This was the same f---ing EDGE who destroyed Tommy Dreamer and Terry Funk along with simulating sex with Dreamer's wife at the last ECW PPV which was just two f---ing days earlier! Edge has been running down ECW since last year's One Night Stand and yet no one has a problem with him just showing up in an ECW ring. But it even gets worse! Edge then made RVD look like a fool by showing he was just mind f---ing ECW and speared Van Dam before leaving. Here's your ECW folks, a bunch of rubes that continually get suckered by the "real stars."
The ZOMBIE was next and, I'll be honest, I loved this. I thought it was a fantastic moment for so many fans to flip and think, "this is exactly what I was afraid of! WWE trying to satisfy the sci fi fans!" Sandman coming out to cane the shit out of the Zombie was classic ECW. Unfortunately Sandman came out to his generic music in front of a dead crowd, so a segment which would have been OFF THE CHARTS if done at the Hammerstein Ballroom just seemed like another wrestling segment. Kurt Angle faced off in a squash match against Justin Credible that was perfectly fine as Angle showed why he is The Man.
I've read on some boards about people bitch that Credible was a former ECW champion and blah, blah, blah. I agree that they probably shouldn't have mentioned Credible was a former champ, but let's get real, to an audience in 2006 Justin Credible is a jobber to most fans. Would it really be believable that this guy would now go toe-to-toe with one of wrestling's biggest stars? I think ECW should use this to their advantage. Do a video package of Credible realize how far he has fallen and vowing to build his way back up. Have him make his way up to Canada and get his ass kicked by former partner Lance Storm, as Storm breaks Justin down in order to build him back up. This is the type of thing you've seen a thousand times before in movies (think of Rocky training with Apollo Creed in Rocky III or even Batman with Rhas' Al Gaul in Batman Begins) that I think would come across fantastic in a wrestling environment. Have this training go on for months, until one show Credible comes back to surprise Angle after a match and gives Angle the That's Incredible piledriver. This would play up Angle's neck injury, establish Credible as a huge heel, and maybe get Storm back in a non-wrestling capacity as Credible's mentor. I have no idea why I put so much thought into this stupid shit.
Anyway, at this point the show got bad. Real bad.
Some generic blonde named Kelly came out for a strip tease and TIME STOOD STILL. This five minute segment took approximately 20 hours to watch and was the most un-erotic strip I've ever seen. This was not helped by the fact that Kelly had a dilly of a time trying to unhook her bra. Seriously, 
Charleze Theron cracked that safe in the Italian Job faster. Not only was the crowd completely dead for this, there were so many kids in attendance even I felt embarrassed for the girl. After that was the show closing ten man battle royal that contained, of course, eleven men. Actually, only one man was in the battle royal as the rest were booked like jobbers. It was billed as an "extreme" battle royal with "any weapon legal" and was, at best, a total parody of what ECW truly was about. Lame cookie sheets, cheap aluminum garbage can, and Big Show tossing out nine guys killed this segment dead. Sabu getting a fluke win over Show did absolutely nothing for his character except prove once again that no ECW guy could ever legitimately beat a WWE guy. If there is a silver lining to all this it is that the show simply couldn't get worse.
Could it? WEI Rating: - 25
ECW on Sci-Fi ratings = boffo numbers: I knew that the rating for the first ECW was going to be good because WWE got me to watch it. Granted, I'm a pretty hardcore ECW fan, but I'm also a wrestling fan in general and the shows right now are doing a crappy job in getting me to turn them on. I almost always forget that TNA Impact and SmackDown are on Thursday and Friday night. However, on Tuesday night I was ready for ECW. Not only was I at the TV ready for the show, I put in a tape to record it just in case it was one of those all time great shows I want to watch forever, but as we all know, that didn't out to be the case. In fact I was "lucky" enough to watch the show in my bedroom, which meant my girlfriend also watched the show and you can imagine me trying to explain the whole deal with the Zombie…and then the stripper.
Anyway, Sci Fi channel was orgasmic over the ratings the ECW show drew, as evidenced by this recent press release: NEW YORK June 14, 2006 SCI FI Channel premiered 'ECW' ('Extreme Championship Wrestling') last night and was the ratings victor in the 10pm hour. The return of 'ECW' with a sci-fi twist delivered a 2.79 HH and was the most-watched show on cable drawing almost 3.4 million total viewers. The show was #1 among the key demos bringing in 1.89MM P18-49 and 1.68MM P25-54 from 10p-11p. This performance represents gains of +457% among P18-49 and +347% among P25-54 versus its prior four week time period average.
I'm gonna paraphrase a line from Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men when I say, "Now, I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds pretty good." Sci Fi went on with even more detail:
Key Ratings Performance Points:
--'ECW' on SCI FI is the best performance for any program on the network this year on P18-49s and the best P25-54 performance since the season premiere of 'Battlestar Galactica' on 1/6/06.
--'ECW' on SCI FI beat an original episode of FX's 'Rescue Me' by +14% among P18-49s and +3% among P25-54s.
--'ECW' on SCI FI delivered the all-time best June performance for any program on SCI FI in both P18-49s and P25-54s, and ranks #1 among all
SCI FI 2nd quarter programs ever for P18-49 delivery.
--The median viewer age for 'ECW' on SCI FI was 32.3 -- sixteen years younger than the 2nd quarter to date time period average of 48.4.
Whew! Looks like someone is putting on their best Sunday clothes and strutting around main square. I'm surprised that SCI FI forgot to tout the following:
--'ECW' on SCI FI delivered the highest rated awful strip tease since Tonya
Harding's honeymoon video aired on A Current Affair in 1994.
--The new character THE ZOMBIE scored higher marks on after show polling in the areas of "believability" and "Q rating" compared to other profile shows such as MTV's Laguna Beach and Fox's Stacked.
--'ECW' on SCI Fi delivered the most amount of Italian stereotypes in one hour than the HBO's popular series The Sopranos.
--'ECW' on SCI FI beat an rerun of “Facts Of Life” on TV Land AND an episode of the Snorks
on Cartoon Network by +29% among P18-49s and +3% among DuckTales fans. WEI Rating: +1
***Just a heads-up, in the Sci Fi community, it's not called "Sci Fi" it's called "SF." Yep, just like they want to be called "Trekker" instead of "Trekkie" and "sexually challenged" rather than "virgin." Don't get all holier-than-thou because you wouldn't believe how many wrestling fans I know who hate the terms like "dirtsheet" and the stereotype that we're all beer drinking rednecks who love NASCAR.
***After all that SF talk, man, it is time look once again at Sean Carless' friggin incredible ECW on Sci Fi channel parody. The literal Spirit Squad.
Little Spock Dudley. New Jack joining the cast of Star Trek: TNG as Geordi and will be fit with a visor and paired with a android counterpart, for whom he'll teach basic human nuances like humor, love, and how to use everyday household appliances to savagely murder people. It's all good, trust me. Click on over and check it out.
***Speaking of New Jack, did you read my recent review of the New Jack: Hardcore DVD?
***TNA does a lot of stuff wrong, but one thing they kick ass at lately is putting out incredible video packages. Check out his AWESOME Samoa Joe/Scott Steiner hype video and tell me it doesn't at least pique your interest in this weekend's Slamaversary. Or maybe it's Slamiiversary. I have no idea.
Goldust released from WWE: On Wednesday, WWE.com had the following message: WWE has come to an agreement on the release of Goldust (Dustin Runnels) as of today, June 14, 2006. WWE wishes Dustin the best in all future endeavors. Who knew both Dustin and his father Dusty (through Dusty's new incredible three disc DVD set) would both have a big release in the same week?
"I'm just keeeeeeeeeeding!" - Fericito WEI Rating: - 2
DeGeneration X reunites on Raw: The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and Triple H finally "got the band" back together on Monday during a segment which must have had homophobes up in arms. While Triple H was getting a beat down by the Spirit Squad, who should make the save but his former DX partner, HBK? After clearing house of the male cheerleaders, Michaels and all three H's then began to celebrate in a manner that was, how shall we put this, quite unmanly. It certainly didn't help that Shawn was wearing one of those tank tops that appear to have come from his wife's side of the closet. After crotch chopping Vince McMahon (and we won't get into the subtext of telling another male to "suck it"), Triple H even pulled down his drawers to moon the Higher Power. The fans were going nuts and the only negative is that the old DX music didn't start playing and instead we had to listen to that new BOW DOWN TO THE GAME bullshit. WEI Rating: + 2
***I guarantee you this will be the weirdest thing you see today. Just try it out if you doubt me.
New Wrestling Book to be released: I've been on a wrestling kick recently when it comes to books. Hopefully you got a chance to read my review of James Guttman's World Wrestling Insanity, and while I haven't gotten around to reviewing them yet, I greatly enjoyed both Gary Michael Capetta's Bodyslams!, John Lister's Turning the Tables book on ECW, and Bill Watts' The Cowboy and the Cross. I will also add that after reading HBK's book, Vince Russo's Forgiven and now Watts, if I never read another wrestling book by a born again Christian, it will be too soon as I've had-it-up-to-here with having their religion forced down my throat. To each their own, but thank God I haven't had to read any wrestling books where the authors spend half their time putting over Scientology, Judaism, Buddahism, or place-your-religion-here.
Anyway, here's the pitch for the new book:
In 2001, the professional wrestling scene in the western world changed almost overnight. From three major promotions at the start of the year, just one remained by the start of April, ending more than a decade of competition. Ian Hamilton's "Wrestling's Sinking Ship: What Happens To An Industry Without Competition" recaps the story of the first five years of Vince McMahon's virtual monopoly on grappling, from the aborted attempt to create an alternative, to the current creation of faux-ECW, and everything
in between. It will be available soon on Amazon.com - for more information, visit the official website at www.sinkingshipbook.co.uk
I'm looking forward to this one. Ian Hamilton is often seen over atwww.F4Wonline.com forums and is a guy who seems to know his wrestling as well as having a good sense of humor. WEI Rating: + 1
***Did you remember to watch the MTV Movie Awards? If not, you missed a great Mission Impossible 3 parody starring Jessica Alba and Spider-Man 3's Topher Gracie. Stay all the way until the end for the best gags.
Axl Rotten comes out from rock he's been hiding under: From Axl Rotten's MySpace page this Tuesday: What do you people want from me! I'M FINE!!!!! I'M AT MY house. I have been here all week all is well. If you want to reach me and have my number feel free to call. By the way, I do have the right to be left alone for a while. As far as wrestling – NO COMMENT. I don't think anyone questions Axl's right to be left alone, but everyone should question why he would take a sabbatical now considering everything that is going on with ECW. In last week's Observer, Meltzer talked about Rotten missing four scheduled physicals (WWE won't let wrestlers in a ring without a documented passed physical on file) and being on thin ice anyway. WEI Rating: -3
***Here's a blast from the past, Jerry "The King" Lawler interviewing some high school cheerleaders for some local Memphis channel.
TNA holds Hardcore Wars at ECW Arena: The Friday before ECW's One Night Stand 2, TNA held a show at the ECW Arena. You almost have to feel a little bad for TNA because they have really been lost in the publicity shuffle with all the ECW talk in the last few weeks. I'm hoping this show is released on DVD as it sounded pretty decent. Both Rhino and Spike Dudley shot promos about how they were offered ECW contracts, but decided to stick with TNA. Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, and AJ Styles had another one of their fantastic three way matches. The main event had Team 3D calling for the fans to throw their chairs into the ring (which you can watch by clicking HERE) to reference a classic Terry Funk moment in ECW. WEI Rating: + 1
Ric Flair and Mic Foley have DUELING PROMOS~!: This came out of nowhere, but on Raw this week Ric Flair and
Mick Foley had a verbal battle to set up a PPV match at Vengeance in two weeks. Hardcore fans, like myself, were probably going out of their minds as Foley and Flair took some serious digs at each other. This heat all stems back from Flair calling out Foley for being a garbage wrestler in his book To be the Man. A pissed off Foley refused to turn it into an anger, and instead show a shoot interview DVD with ROH (Straight Shootin' with Mick Foley) in which he read from Ric Flair's book and gave his responses. Apparently the money was good enough now that both men agreed to make an angle out of all this and it looks like it is going to be fast tracked for a PPV that is only two weeks away. Talk about two guys who could use a good two month build to deliver blistering promos and really get the fans wound up to see a match though. I'm bringing back that "cautiously optimistic" deal for this stuff, as I really want it to work out in a big way, but I think it has the potential to fall flat on its face once the two men get into the ring with each other. WEI Rating: + 2
***Got a couple seconds? Watch a little (goofiness from Japan staring the one and only JACK EVANS~!
***Here is a great preview of the new Billy Jack Haynes Shoot Interview DVD. Seriously, it's insane. If you want to get the shoot, click HERE.
Vito keeping kayfabe alive by keeping his dress on in airports: This has got to be a rib on Vito, as the guy seemed to be a heat magnet during his previous stints with ECW (the original version) and WCW. If you are not watching SmackDown, Vito currently has a gimmick in which he is a cross dresser. Seriously. Well, to take it the next step, Vito now keeps the character going by wearing the dress outside of the wrestling arena. To be fair, this isn't that much dumber than seeing Gene Snitsky in a suit shoved into the coach section of American Airlines flight. Between this goofy shit, the Kiss My Ass Club, and about a thousand other examples, there must be a sign in the lobby of Titan Towers that reads, Please leave your dignity at the door. WEI Rating: - 4
Joey Styles awards THE ZOMBIE with Most Extreme Player award: Over on WWE.com, the Voice of ECW wrote an article putting over wrestling's most incredible new gimmick. Here's what Joey said: Effective with the world premiere of ECW on Sci Fi, ECW.com has asked me to choose a weekly ECW MVP (Most Valuable Player) or, in my words, an ECW MEP (Most Extreme Player). This week’s ECW M.E.P. is without question The Zombie. The Zombie’s riveting entrance, intensity and pre-match interview embodied everything I have come to expect from sports-entertainment.
The Zombie immediately made this lifelong wrestling fan conjure up images of such other sports-entertainment greats as Max Moon, The Goon and The Gobbledygooker. Unfortunately, former 5-time ECW World Heavyweight Champion, The Sandman, did not find The Zombie nearly as entertaining as did I and summarily caned the undead sports-entertainer repeatedly before quickly pinning The Zombie after his signature White Russian Leg Sweep.
Runner-up honors go to new ECW “exhibitionist”, Kelly, who I deemed ineligible when she failed to unhook her bra.
God Bless Joey Styles. WEI Rating: + 2
Would you like to be the Iron Sheik's assistant for a day?: Did you ever want to humble someone the old country way? Have you dreamed of taking wrestlers' "medicine" or hating on B. Brian Blair and the Hollywood f--- jabroni Hulk Hogan? Well, have I got a job for you. Totally Tool Wrestling - the promotion with wrestling's greatest gimmick wrestler in Mark Kayfabe – is offering the chance to be Iron Sheik's Assistant For a Day for their show on July 15th in Berwyn, Illinois. Yes, you will get to babysit the Sheik for a day. Talk about a reality show idea! WEI Rating: + 1
SmackDown writer moved over to ECW: The Melt reported this week that "David Lagana has been replaced as lead writer on Smackdown by Alex Greenfield. Lagana will move to being a writer on ECW." I'm not sure what this will mean in the long run. If I remember right, Lagana was a long term ECW fan, which may help the brand in the long run. However, Lagana may also just be a stooge for Big Steph and basically improve his own career by adding in stupid stuff like the "extreme battle royal" to make the show unwatchable and prove that WWE is better than everyone in the entire world, ever. I personally hope this ends up being great news and Lagana gets to prove himself all over again and working with Heyman provides a creative braintrust that WWE hasn't seen in well over five years.
Although to be fair, you have to think that with the way ECW is going right now, WWE must be kicking themselves in the ass for letting Dan Madigan, the guy who was trying to get gimmicks like THE FROZEN NAZI on SmackDown, leave the company. WEI Rating: We'll see
*** Fox News Oh man, how great is this. I stumbled upon this website recently that asks the question What If Fox News Existed Throughout History? You seriously have to check this out as you will be laughing your ass off. Well, unless you are some ultra-hardcore republican with a stick up their ass. In that case, you may not find the idea of a news show calling the Boston Tea Party an "act of terrorism" funny in the least.
Your Internet Audio update for this week:
In Your Head radio - Check out the last two guests, Brian Fritz and Teddy Hart~!
Mike and Adam Audio Nightmare - This is a free show, so now's your chance to sample it. This edition is a loaded show complete with MMA and Pro Wrestling discussion. Topics include the WWECW project, Roy Jones, Jr., Pro Wrestling NOAH's fan appreciation show...and the possible retirement of Hiroshi Tanahashi?!?
The Bryan and Vinny Show - Everyone who listens to any wrestling must, and I mean MUST, sample at least one Bryan & Vinny show as I'm convinced you'll be hooked. Besides on-point analysis and hilarious humor, the shows have the best selection of audio drops this side of Howard Stern. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. Catch me on YahooIM with the screen name derekburgan22 and I'll send you some audio files from the show that will have you rolling. Just try it once, then you can thank me later after you get hooked.
Between the Ropes - Double J himself, JEFF JARRETT, is the guest and gives the state of the union along with his thoughts on THE ZOMBIE among other things
Wrestling Mayhem - The crew shares their thoughts on ECW One Night Stand, the premiere on Sci Fi Channel and the new state of wrestling.
You know, we haven't talked comics in a while, so it's time to push some great books onto you guys.
Kingdome
Come: Absolute Edition: Even though I consider myself a Marvel Guy, Kingdom
Come by DC is one of my all time favorite reads. Here's the promo for it: Set at the dawn of the 21st century in a world spinning inexorably out of control,
Mark Waid and Alex Ross weave a tale of youth versus experience, tradition versus change, and what defines a hero. KINGDOM COME is a riveting story pitting the old guard - Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and their peers - against a new, uncompromising generation of heroes that declare war against each other to determine the future of the planet.
This Absolute Edition is a whopping 340-page slipcased hardcover featuring a new wraparound image by Ross. Also included is an extended character sketch section, a peek into Ross's own sketchbook, text pieces by Waid and Ross, annotations of the entire series, rare art (from magazines, trading cards, T-shirts, the novel and more), promotional images, a gallery of DC Direct Kingdom Come product, the evolution of a story page, and much more!
It is impossible to explain how incredible this book is, with some many moments that just make your jaw drop. I tried reading the first Crisis on Infinite Earths and was just hopelessly lost by trying to sort through all of DC's continuity. I had the complete opposite feeling while reading Kingdom Come. It's accessible to people who haven't read every Superman comic ever while having even more of an attraction to people who have This is the ten year anniversary of the book and you can get a great price (37% off) by clicking on this link: Absolute Kingdom Come
Sin City library
Man, at $50 off retail, this is a steal.This bundle contains all seven volumes of Frank Miller's landmark Sin City, the hard-boiled stories that started it all! 
The books that inspired the critically-acclaimed film, the now-infamous Marv, Dwight, Gail, Miho, Hartigan, Nancy, and the Yellow Bastard will transport you to Sin City and show you the bloody lives they lead ... bloody by choice or by circumstance. Frank Miller's Sin City is a triumph for its fiercely independent creator, and has been honored with Eisner awards, Harvey awards, and the prestigious National Cartoonists' Award.
Okay, enough of that hype job. Hopefully most of you got a chance to see the fantastic Sin City film last year with Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, and about 100 other stars. The most amazing thing about that movie was that it was less of a comic book adaptation and more of a comic book translation. What you read on the page was there on the screen in all its glory. Frank Miller (Batman: Year One, Daredevil: Born Again) is probably my favorite writer/artist of all time and Sin City is his tour de force. Almost revolutionary in terms of how it presented hard core stories (in terms of graphic violence, situations, and language) without having to appeal to the lowest common denominator. If you love continuity in stories, you'll love this collection. If you love ass kicking stories, you'll love this collection. This is the type of comic that is for people who don't like comics. It's that good.
Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 74
This week's net change: - 22
Current enjoyment level: 52
Special thanks to Keith Lipinski, the Wrestling Fan's Sean Carless, and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.
Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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