The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.
Home shopping with the Nature Boy. WHHHOOOOOOOOO! Diligent readers of WEI have picked up that I'm in the process of buying a house down in Florida. For those of you who have lived in apartments your whole life, like me, I cannot get across what a gigantic PAIN IN THE ASS it is trying to line up financing for a mortgage. Credit reports. Interest rates. Points. Contracts that make the fine print on drug company advertisements seem easy to comprehend. All of that god damn nonsense designed to keep an entire industry full of paper pushers employed. It's enough to drive the most sane of men completely bonkers. Imagine my surprise when seeing that "Slick" Ric Flair, the Nature Boy himself, has his own financing company! Get the Nature Boy's quotes on car loans, house loans, or any other type of financing. And if you can't trust the financial advice of a guy who has blown through so much money that he has almost nothing to show for being a national headliner for the last 20 years, well, who can you trust? WEI Rating: +1
Big Vis not a Big Fan of WEI: If you read last week's WEI, you saw a pretty innocuous segment in which I wrote about John Cena giving the FU to Viscera. Well, apparently what I wrote didn't go over to well in certain circles, as I received the following email: hey derek burgan this is viscera and you need to watch what you write about me that sh** is disrepectful and uncalled for you make a living off of our life risk and blood and sweat so the least you can do is show some resoect seeing that you never entered a wwe ring a day in your life and have no idea what it takes.. all of you at this website should show more respect to all wrestler because if it were not for us there would be no wrestling observer..
I find it amazing that Viscera took the time to edit the word "shit" but neglected to run even a bare bones spell check to pick out the dozen or so errors in the email. When it comes to responding about the point of never entering a WWE ring in my life, am I allowed to ask about how many editorials these wrestlers have ever written? Regardless, I hope everyone who reads this knows that I do respect what wrestlers do in the ring, so much that I stick by the sport even when millions of others leave because much of it has become so unwatchable, but do not feel I have a responsibility to tread lightly when calling a 500 pound wrestler "fat." WEI Rating: - 1
***Does everyone involved in wrestling have a book but me? I mean, c'mon, Dana f'n Dameson?!! We've reached the nadir.
SummerSlam with loaded lineup: Here's Dave Meltzer's preview with my thoughts added in:
*Edge vs. John Cena - It's in Boston which gives Cena the feel good story finish probability. The one thing we do know is that next month there is a TLC match in Toronto between the two. I could see Cena winning and the Edge getting his kind of match as the rematch. These two are likely to go on last, but Edge has done well when put on top, and they always have good house show main events. Derek Note: Could be a decent match, but I think the great dynamic of the crowd shitting on Cena will be gone. You'd have to think Lita accidentally screws Edge to give Cena the belt and Edge a reason to demand a rematch in "his match."
*Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton - It's going to be a real test for Orton, because Hogan is even more limited than usual with his bad knee. As far as the finish goes, when this feud started, it was made clear when Hogan agreed, that Hogan goes over. Hogan has creative control of his finish, so on the surface, everyone will be thinking if he's picking the finish, he's going over. Personally, to me, Hogan will get over more by losing the right way due to the injury, and I think he's smart enough to understand that. So the question here is has Hogan thought the whole thing through and decided to take in the emotion of fighting hard and losing, or has he not, and will just take the win as planned? Derek Note: You gotta think Hogan is going to win a horrible match. Will Brooke even be mentioned during the show?
*Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley in an I Quit match - This one is funny, because I could see these two almost getting into it in the dressing room over the finish. Seriously. Both will want to lose. Flair feels his role is to lose because he's unkillable, and Foley, no matter how the interviews go, thinks so highly of Flair as a performer (he was live at a Flair-Steamboat match in 1984 and he thought, at the time, it blew away any WWF match he'd ever seen) and that Flair is the bigger star that he'd want to put Flair over. Since Foley is the one with creative control on this finish, even in an I Quit situation, I think that means he's going to win out by losing. This is going to be a bloodbath and I actually believe it'll steal the show because Foley will have to construct something pretty outrageous to quit. This match and
the Hogan match are clearly the two real main events on the show. Derek Note: Have to agree with the Melt, this should be the match of the night and definitely the one I'm looking forward to the most.
*DX vs McMahons - Because of the McMahons, this match will be like the Foley match in that we'll have copious weapons usage, lots of blood, and probably run-ins from Umaga and the Spirit Squad. I'd hope DX wins and then goes away, but that's not happening. So I see the McMahons winning and this coming back. Derek Note: I can't get over how much I used to love DX during the Attitude Era and how much I can't stand them now. I certainly can't be the only one feeling like that.
*King Booker vs. Batista - I think when this was first put together, Booker was simply a heel to get the belt from Mysterio to Batista, who the company believes is the big star on Smackdown. But Batista has no heel challengers. Since I'm figuring a clean finish in just about every match on the show, I could see them doing a cheap DQ finish and Batista winning here. Either way, this match is going to get lost in the shuffle. There is enough blood and weapons and brawling elsewhere, so they'll have to stick to a wrestling match, and thus far, nobody has exactly praised their house show matches. Derek Note: I enjoy the Booker T/Sharmell dynamic and am looking forward to JBL calling the match, but outside of that, who really gives a shit?
*Big Show vs. Sabu - Since it's a Sabu match, you have to have some tables and chairs thrown in. But they can't overshadow the McMahons. Unless this is positioned late on the show, I have a feeling it won't be very long, nor very good, probably with Show winning
clean. Derek Note: I hope Big Dave is wrong about the finish, but fear he's going to be right.
*Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero - Pretty much spelled out in this week's Observer on this one. Derek Note: The Eddie Guererro angle that will never fucking end. My interest in this match couldn't be any lower. For those of you that don't read the Observer…what the hell is wrong with you?! Anyway, Dave said that Vickie will probably be involved and blah, blah, blah, it will set up Rey's time off for knee surgery, and we are all going to want to puke. WEI Rating: + 5
WWE with new absurd auction: Over on WWE's website they are offering the chance to win a lampshade signed by Sabu. You may be asking yourself, what is the significance of this lampshade? The answer is simple. There is no significance. Here's the WWE hard sell: Sabu had a chance to catch up with Auction last year and hand us a signed lampshade from his hotel room. We asked him the story behind it and he said he would do the same thing to us that he did to the lamp! Place your bid today on this unique item that was used outside of the ring. Dear lord, even they can't think of an interesting story for this one.WEI Rating: - 4
***Better watch his before its yanked by WWE. Classic footage of Vince McMahon in the USWA. This is circa 1993 before the evil Mr. McMahon character came to WWE.
***Star trek fans, check out this hilarious link!
The Vince McMahon DVD to be released this Tuesday: And it looks like a doozy. Already there have been some people who have seen the McMahon DVD and are reporting some whacky stuff in it, such as Stephanie saying she had to tell Vince "No" to an angle Vince himself suggested. The angle? Stephanie's baby found out to be fathered by the Higher Power himself. Dear lord! I'm looking forward to a Rock interview where he rips apart that awful Katie Vick bullshit and apparently this DVD is Brooklyn Brawler free. I never thought I'd live to see the day. WEI Rating: + 1
***Being laid up thanks to hernia surgery allowed me to pump out the reviews this week, including The Very Best of G.L.O.W. DVD. What a wonderful blast to the past this was, including a chance to watch my favorite wrestling diva ever, Hollywood, one more time. If you miss the campy GLOW show, then this DVD is a must.
The Bryan vs. Vinny match promotional material hits YouTube: What a crazy story this is. Not long ago, a poster on F4Wonline's THE BOARD asked how much it would take to get Bryan Alvarez back into the ring. Bryan gave the outrageous number of $400. $100 for him, $100 for his opponent Bryan's Friend Vince, $100 for Buddy Wayne so they could use his ring, and $100 for F4Wonline admin Nails so that stuff that match could be filmed and edited. I've seen Super Chico vs. Vinny matches on DVD before, and since Nails is going to have to do more editing than the SmackDown production team during a Big Khali match to make this the five star battle we all want to see, maybe he deserves more. "I'm just keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeding! - Ferricito
Anyway, donations for THE MATCH started pouring in. As of Saturday the total was $1819. That's right, they are approaching TWO FUCKING GRAND. I think that's a bigger payoff than Brian Kendrick and Paul London get as WWE tag team champs. A DVD is being made of this whacky adventure and anyone who donates $25 or more gets a free DVD. All the bells and whistles are going to be brought out for this one, including a commentary track from Lance Storm. Well, maybe Storm will just comment on the match during one of his F4Daily appearances, I'm quite sure about that. Regardless, this is one DVD you are going to want to get. The first "skit" was taped and put on YouTube and includes Buddy Wayne training Bryan and Vinny. Buddy is a former wrestler who now trains wrestlers out in Washington. In case you don't know where Washington state is, its about a million miles away from the East coast, almost a part of Canada, and the place where F4W, Starbucks, Mike Roe, and former Seattle Seahawk/current congressman Steve Largent comes from. Buddy also has fantastic bi-weekly appearances on Figure 4 Daily, probably the best wrestling audio show around, well, except for the Bryan & Vinny show, which has become daily thanks to all the god damn wrestling on TV lately. Buddy will also be the special guest referee for THE MATCH.
I'm gonna copy Bryan's hype machine: You can donate by clicking here. Any donations of $25 or more will get a special deluxe DVD with all the skits, the match, exclusive commentary, and a few other bonus surprises. Besides full premium access (hundreds of archived newsletters and radio shows, etc.), members will also have access to all the new Bryan & Vinny Shows where we'll be discussing this historic encounter. PayPal users can click the Quick Buy link at the top of the page, or click here for other payment options. WEI Rating: + 3
***What? Another review? Yep, ROH: Chi-Town Struggle DVD. Solid show highlighted by a great Austin Aries vs. KENTA match. There is also a new video recap at ROHvideos.com with a bunch
of neat stuff, including what happened at the end of the Bryan Danielson vs.
Colt Cabana match that main evented Chi-Town Struggle.
***Did you check out the latest edition of Back Leg Front Kick? Shame on you if you haven't~!
Referee James Beard kills WWE job offer by posting on the Internet: Over on the Wrestling Classics message board, local indy ref James Beard posted the details of his tryout with WWE. Here's what he wrote: I just got back....
First of all, I appreciate the compliments...It felt good to be in the ring in some meaningful situations again. I was not the least bit nervous and felt totally comfortable back in the ring. Though I know I look a lot older and not quite as pretty, but my brain still functions when it comes to working a match and I'm not yet as slow as Bronko, so I haven't lost all my capabilities.
My only concern was getting used to those damned ear phones....I see the need and the reasoning behind them, but they take some getting used to. Getting times is one thing but they can be a distraction sometimes, especially when you are getting instructions from the agent and having to deal with working the match at the same time...
Overall, things went well and I got a lot of positive feedback from the wrestlers and agents. I'm not sure how things will pan out, though...I have some things that I need to have agreed on before I could do anything on a permanent basis, but there were a lot of guys indicating that that is what they want to happen...Everyone was great...The refs, the agents, the wrestlers were all very accommodating and cooperative as well as supportive. I got the feeling that if it is up to most of them, a deal would be made.
I guess we'll see. The thing is, the right folks need to want that to happen and there's nothing yet been offered.
That's not unusual. Scott Armstrong came back this week after his initial look-see and was told last night that he was hired to work on ECW...I was really happy for Scott. He had quit his day job to take a stab at this and he needed it to work out. Besides, he's an Armstrong and he should be in the wrestling business, not selling furniture somewhere.
The matches I worked were mostly good...I worked a dark match for Smackdown first (actually the first match of the night) with Bob Holly making his comeback against Simon Dean....It was a typically good, tight and intense Bob Holly match and it went well. I enjoyed it and got to work more in that one than the televised match. Both wrestlers were happy and the agents seemed pleased...Everyone in Gorilla gave me some nice compliments on that one when I got back from the ring...
I worked the Rory/Highlander vs one of the Spirit Squad match on RAW and Ricky Steamboat was our agent for that one....Ricky gave me a nice spot to do and it all went well....Not happy with the way the kid did the finish as he stooged it off by working the crowd, but other than that, the match was good, I thought and my part went off well and got a nice pop....Ricky liked it and I guess that means something. I was impressed with Rory and found out by talking a bit to him that he's a lot more a traditional wrestler than the gimmick allows. Actually, the kid from the Spirit Squad was pretty solid, too...He just needs some more ring time as a single.
I worked a dark match on ECW last night: Shannon Moore vs. CW Anderson....That one was meant to be one thing, but Shannon made some mistakes in working the crowd and Jerry Brisco and Johnny Laurentis started giving me the word to change everything, including who goes over and which guy was to work heel....All of this is hard to communicate when guys are never stopping long enough to work a hold, but somehow we got through it....Not good, but considering the circumstances, it was passable....The finish probably looked horrible, but these young guys get all out of whack when anyone changes anything...They were looking at me like deers at a head light when I was trying to relay things to them or instruct them on what to do...The agents weren't happy with the wrestlers after that one....
Then I worked the Kurt Angle/Brooklyn Brawler match....Short and sweet and everything went very well, which is what usually happens with two pros....I would have loved to have had more time, but they wanted to get Kurt back over big.
Overall, I enjoyed it all and had a good visit with some guys I hadn't seen in a while, plus met a few new ones. My home boys were doing well....John (JBL) and I had lunch and got to visit some, but he's doing an investment banker job as well as the commentary on Smackdown, so he didn't have a lot of time....Got to talk with Booker a good bit. He was really happy with his new push and he was putting me over with everyone who came by, telling them I was the one who got him started and gave him is first big break (by taking him to Japan)....
If nothing else comes of it, I can say I finally worked RAW and Smackdown, which are two things I never did before...Until I hear further, if at all, things are on a holding pattern.
In WWE land, the above post was enough to change their minds about hiring James Beard. Welcome to wrestling! I don't think that he buried the company much at all, but using so many of those damn ellipses would have soured me on the guy as well. If there is anything to learn from this it's that you should never use your real name when writing stuff online. One day I have to write about my adventures in applying for a WWE creative job back in the day and my current run around with WWE magazine. WEI Rating: - 3
***Have you seen the new trailer for Vince Russo's Ring of Glory DVD yet? If not check it out! I hope to be able to write a review up of this bad boy soon. You won't believe the sword that hangs above the ring in the main event match. It's straight out of Final Fantasy~!
***The review parade continues with an in-depth look at the Shoot Interview with Team 3D DVD. For fans of great shoots, this is one to add to your list.
Jeff Hardy to debut on Raw: If you were WWE would you: a) Put Jeff Hardy on ECW where his "charasmatic enigma" gimmick and outrageous style would must fit in. b) SmackDown with his Brother Matt c) on RAW, where he'll stick out like a sore thumb and probably "exposed" for not knowing how to work after being "tested" by Triple H in a 20 minute snoozer. I guess the countdown to a Wellness Violation begins. Doesn't matter what happens, I'll be a Hardy mark for life. WEI Rating: + 1
Your Internet Audio update for this week:
The Dr. Keith Show - with special guests UltraMantis Black, Brian Fritz, & PJ Drummond
In Your Head - IYH had a live show from the Capitol Wrestling Legends Fanfest with Freebird Buddy Roberts, Stevie "Fruit Booties" Ray, Dr. Tom Prichard, Lanny Poffo, Larry Zbyszko, Stan Lee, Greg The Hammer Valentine, Tito Santana, Paul Bearer, Boris Zukoff, and Chris Cruise
James Guttman's Radio Free Insanity - with special guest Nikolai Volkoff!
Between the Ropes - Fritz, Dickerman, and Vito were not alone tonight as one-half of Team 3-D, Brother Devon, joined the guys live in the 740 The Team studios for a very special Between The Ropes. In addition to covering all of the latest topics, the guys chatted with Devon about his future in or out of TNA, the prospects of ECW, the future of Team 3-D, and so much more. Plus plenty of your calls and more.
Wrestling Mayhem - The Mayhem Show is on fire! The Shad tells a fuzzy TNA future! And guess who's now, Doc Remedy returns!
Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 45
This week's net change: + 4
Current enjoyment level: 49
Don't forget to check out Derek's Weekly Enjoyment Index, Gimmick Table columns, Opinion Pieces, MySpace page~! and goofy stuff on The Wrestling Fan.
Special thanks to the Dr.Keith Show's Keith Lipinski, SmackDown main man Mike Roe, and The Wrestling Fan's Sean Carless, and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.
Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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