We open with the HWA Adrenaline video package and music - "I can teel it coming in the air tonight!" No it's not Phil Collins singing, it's a whacky hard rock cover version that suits indie pro wrestling just fine. The video transitions into the sound of screaming women at ringside, and then HWA Executive Assistant Tim Tatum is in the ring announcing a big show for December 16th called "Season's Beatings" with a sixteen man Luck of the Draw tag team tournament. Okay - clearly this tournament already took place - and apparently one lucky fan won a raffle where he got to pick the teams for that night. Tatum says to give you a taste of what that'll be like he wants four men to come to the ring: Ed Gonzales, Kimera, Scottie Murray and Matt Stryker. For those of you new to HWA don't panic, this is not "Your Teacher" Matt Striker, thankfully this is a wholly different and arguably much more talented man. All four men come out from the back and head to the ring, Stryker taking his time and hitting the ring last. Tatum puts Murray and Gonzales together against Kimera and Stryker, and none of the men seem overly pleased. Tatum promises to make a similar match later on in the show and leaves.
Ed Gonzales/Scottie Murray vs Matt Stryker/Kimera
Gonzales immediately chickens out and tags in his partner Murray, who locks up with Mr. Unibrow Matt Stryker, who gets the better of him early before they exchange a series of quick falls. Kimera mocks applause at the action and Stryker backhandedly slaps him with a tag as if to say, "Okay wise guy - you come get some of this." Kimera reluctantly comes in, and Ed Gonzales also gets the tag and returns to the ring. Gonzales once again quickly chickens out and tags Murray right back in. COWARD~! Murray locks up with the much larger Kimera and quickly gets thrown off the ropes and knocked down with a clothesline. Murray responds with a dropkick, tries to overpower Kimera, gives up and comes off the ropes with a flying body press that can't keep the big man from Detroit down. Murray misses with an enzuguiri, hits on the second try, and Kimera stumbles into his corner to tag Stryker. Stryker and Murray do a comedy bit where he signals to his opponent, Murray charges the ropes, and Stryker gives him a lift off the rebound to float him over the top onto Kimera. Murray slaps hands with the fans at ringside as Kimera is left laying on the ground. Murray gets back in the ring and locks up with Stryker, the two test each other's strengths, and then Kimera angrily blind tags himself in to get a piece of Murray. Murray is thrown into the corner and beaten around the back of the head, and reluctantly Stryker takes the tag. Murray seems weakened from the blows. Stryker works over the arm, takes some punches to the gut that push him into the corner, and Kimera blind tags in again. Eddie Gonzales feigns total disinterest in the procedings or helping his partner. Murray kicks out at two. A girl in red gets in Stryker's face on the outside but it doesn't stop him from getting back on the apron to take Kimera's tag. Stryker chops Murray hard, he tries to tag Gonzales for help, but Gonzales jumps down off the apron and leaves him vulnerable to Kimera's spear. A powerbomb and a pin later and it's all over. Stryker gets in Kimera's face afterwards to prevent him from giving Murray a post-match beatdown, and security hits the ring to break it up. We go to commercial.
As we return Tarek the Great is headed for the ring with his valet Demonica, Tarek is billed as being from Czechoslovakia, which is amusing since that nation state hasn't existed since 1992; perhaps he's supposed to be a poor man's Mirko Cro Cop. The announcers feign being scared of Demonica as Tarek warms up for his match against an overweight man in a luchador mask.
Tarek the Great vs Super Zeta
The bell rings and the white pasty Zeta signals to the crowd as the announcers pretend that he said something in Spanish to Demonica that couldn't be repeated on television. Tarek overpowers Zeta but he gets a foot on the ropes to break the hold. The HWA crowd is clearly oblivious to his alleged luchador background as they start chanting "U-S-A" at Tarek. Zeta takes Tarek to the mat and applies a head scissors. Both men get to their feet and Zeta starts mouthing off at Demonica again. Tarek takes over Zeta with arm drags, Zeta misses with a back body splash, Tarek clotheslines him hard off the ropes and gets 2 and 1/2. Tarek comes off the second rope with a leg and gets two again. Demonica berates him for not getting the pinfall and Zeta dropkicks him from behind, and even the announcers believe she was distracting her own man. Tarek gets a leg to the balls from Zeta, who pumps his flabby arms Hogan-style in celebration. Zeta throws Tarek into the corner for some chops, whips him to the other corner for a splash which misses, and Tarek does a poor imitation of a Cro Cop high kick which gets a two count. Tarek spikes Zeta on his head for 2 and a 1/2. Zeta kicks him in the gut and picks him up for a powerbomb, but gets reversed into a roll-up for the near fall. Zeta waddles over to hit him with kicks and punches, Tarek comes back with a decent dropkick, and Zeta tries to shake it off as Demonica berates her man again. Zeta takes advantage of the distraction to bridge a pin for three. Clearly the lesser wrestler went over here, although this was a sloppy match on both parts. Demonica gets into the ring and repeatedly shoves her wrestler as Tarek puppy dogs defeat - she appears to be the Father James Mitchell to his skinny Abyss, meekly taking the abuse. We go to commercial.
Sami Callihan vs Tack vs Pepper Parks
A two-on-one match is already underway as we return. The announcers bill it as a three-way, but Sami is a ping-pong ball between the other two men. Pepper Parks body slams him, Tack comes off the top rope with an elbow, and the wrestler who looks like a paler Samoa Joe is stretched out by Parks with a simultaneous eye gouge. Tack comes off the ropes to kick him in the face. Both men try to hold Sami down but he kicks out at two. Tack throws him in the corner, Parks runs his face across the ropes, then attempts to choke him out with the tag rope as the referee argues with Tack in the corner. Sami fights out with elbows and then puts a choke on Parks, Tack comes over to break it up, but struggles to get Sami off him. Parks finally breaks free and they do a wacky series of spots where the bottom man escapes and chokes out the top man, forming a chain of rest holds. This goes on for an interminably long time, with referee Heather Owens trying to count out the man on the bottom each time - it was cute at first but shouldn't have gone on for the majority of the match. Finally a double jaw jacker by Parks breaks up the spot, both men charge Sami and he ducks, resulting in a double clothesline. Sami is a house of fire on both men with punches and kicks, comes off the ropes with a double clothesline screaming like a mad man, both men whipped into the corner but duck a double splash and tack Sami over hard onto his back and neck. Tack goes top rope again but Parks shakes the ropes to knock him down then gives him a knife edge chop and takes him over with a rana that also hits Sami. Parks tries to pin both Sami and Tack unsuccessfully. He throws Tack out and goes top rope but Sami recovers and charges the ropes for a suplex, Tack jumps on for a modified sunset flip and all three men are down. Tack also unsuccessfully tries to cover both men as the announcers remind us that Parks HWA title is not up for grabs in this match. Tack chops Sami repeatedly and picks him up as Parks climbs the top rope and hits his signature "collar popper" on Sami to get the three before Tack can break it up. Parks grabs his title and celebrates like it was actually up for grabs as the referee checks on the fallen Sami 'Cannonball' Callihan. Tack takes out his frustrations on the Sami with a series of devil drivers, giving him a rudo beatdown as the ref screams at him to stop. Tack goes out to ringside to get in the face of the fans as security arrives to hold him back. The main event is up NEXT~!
Chad Collyer/Nigel McGuinness/The Mavericks vs Irish Airborne/Foreign Intelligence
This is a CLUSTERFUCK. There are eight men around the ring and the wide camera shot tries very hard to get them all in. The Mavericks are indentifiable by their matching red tights but otherwise seem like The Naturals. Nigel gets tagged in and is immediately head and shoulders above everybody else in the match, and he tags in Collyer so they can work over the heels two on one. Collyer gets a two count and works over 'High IQ' Quinten Lee in the black, then tags Nigel back in so he can hit a big boot. The pin is broken up by a foot on the bottom rope as the announcers put over that everybody involved in the match is a former HWA champion of some regard. Lee tags in Jake CRIST~! and with no warning we cut away to commercial break - that or CRIST~! was so awful they had no choice but to black him out.
After an ad for LINT-B-GONE we're back with Nigel in a chokehold, although he quickly breaks out of it and catches a charging Jake Crist with an elbow. Nigel with a boot to his head and he makes a hot tag. On the outside a whacky chase ensues as the heels try to leave town, Aaron Williams runs after them and catches a clothesline to the head for his trouble. Williams gets a beatdown from the heels using distraction tactics and then gets a big suplex from Dave Crist. Dave pulls him to the ropes by the hair and tags his brother Jake back in. Jake runs for the ropes, leaps over and gives Williams a hangmen's neckbreaker off the top. He springs back over the ropes with a big elbow but the two count gets broken up. Foreign Intelligence's "whacky Iraqi" Ala Hussein gets the tag. Hussein beats up Williams and quickly tags in Lee. Hussein hangs Williams off the top rope and Lee gives him a big punt to the gut - FIELD GOAL~! Lee slaps around Williams, pushes him into the corner, and blasts him with chops and punches. Snapmare and a million dollar fist get 2 and a 1/2. Williams has been the babyface in peril for a long time now. Williams tries to push his way through Lee for a tag but fails, and Lee tags Dave Crist back in. Crist smiles arrogantly as he puts a boot to Williams neck. He steps on the hair and pulls up on the arms to stretch him out, then tags in his brother Jake. Jakes rakes the eyes and chokes him out on the top rope. All three babyfaces beg for a tag but Williams is way too far away to reach them. Williams floats off the top rope, kicks Crist in the head, and as he sells a nose injury he slowly goes to the heel corner for a tag but not before Williams can finally tag out as the Maverick indentified as "The Solution" runs wild taking out both Crist brothers, including Jake getting clotheslined over the top. Neckbreaker gets two before Jake runs back in to make the save. Aaron Williams runs in to take Jake out. The Solution and Dave Crist are in the ring. Russian leg sweep gets two and a half before Lee breaks it up. Clusterfuck spills out to the flooras The Solution gets a powerbomb and roll-up for a near fall. The Solution gets double teamed by the Crist brothers. Williams comes in with kicks and elbows to clear them out. Fighting continues all over the place. Frogsplash off the top by The Solution but Lee breaks up the pin at the very last second, then hits a gory bomb on The Solution, Nigel runs in to clothesline Lee, an exploder by Ala Hussein, now Collyer's in, now Williams is in, and even the announcers are clueless to who the legal man is at this point so I give up figuring it out. Solution gets a near fall but Brock Guffma hits the ring apron for the distraction, The Solution gets clonked by Patrick Black, but still kicks out before the three count. Lee gets in the ring to charge The Solution as he's being held up but Solution ducks and Lee clonks the heel instead. Nigel charges the ring to knock Lee down and Solution pins the legal man for the three. SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP THAT WAS A MESS~! Still easier to follow than a TNA 8-man X Division match, but just barely. The bayfaces celebrate their victory in the ring and that's all for this week's ADRENALINE.
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