OVW TV report

Here is the report for Ohio Valley Wrestling episode 702. This episode is available for your viewing pleasure at http://www.ovwrestling.com/tv/702. The main focus of tonight's episode was setting the table for February 2nd's Saturday Night Special.
We begin in the back with "Double-R Superstar" Randy Royal and his trainer Tony Gunn talking. Gunn says Royal's training sessions have been awesome and Royal is 3-0 so far after his comeback. Dean "San Juan" Hill interrupts and hopes to get a word with Flash Flanagan as he comes in the building for his reaction to being placed in a last man standing match with (and by) OUR OVW Director of Authority Trailer Park Trash/Frank Miller. Here comes Flash with Ms. Josette Bynum, who steps in and tells Dean that she is "super unhappy" about Flash not getting the match he asked for, which was a rematch against OUR OVW Champion "The Welsh Colossus" Rob Terry. Josette promises more chaos for tonight. Flash busts out the double negatives saying he's "not no joke" and plans to hurt TPT. 
Our announcers are Dean "San Juan" Hill, Gilbert "Anchorman" Corsey (who doubles as our ring announcer), and Michael "Rocky Mountain Mouth" Titus.
The current #1 contender for Terry's title, Doug Williams, comes out to the ring. He is facing Terry for the title at SNS. Williams calls Terry "a paper champion", never showing up for matches then making excuses for that. Terry's music hits and the champ comes out for a rebuttal! Terry will show what type of champion he is: he'll put the title up right now! Williams hesitates then agrees. TPT comes out to confirm this and calls for a referee.
Match #1: OUR OVW Champion "The Welsh Colossus" Rob Terry vs Doug Williams
Williams tries a sneak attack but Terry turns to see this and is dominating as we go to break. As we come back, Williams has Terry on the ropes working him over then targets Terry's leg for a bit. Williams fires off a flurry of headbutts for 2 followed by more leg abuse then follows Terry out to the floor. Terry rams Williams into the guardrail but Williams makes it back in first and snaps Terry across the top rope. Williams comes off the top rope with a double axehandle and continues the leg working. Williams goes back up top but Terry follows and superplexes him as we go to another break. We return to find Terry firing up then giving Williams an over the shoulder slam for 2. Terry tries a chokeslam but Williams slips free and shoves him into ref Chris Sharpe. Flash runs out with a chair and hits Terry in the back twice! Williams shakes hands with Flash but also gets hit with the chair! James "Moose" Thomas runs out in hot pursuit of Flash as Williams sets up to piledrive Terry on the chair. Moose runs back in but "Smooth" Johnny Spade runs in on the opposite side and goes to superkick Williams, who ducks thus causing Moose to eat the superkick. Williams lowblows Spade but wanders into a Terry chokeslam. Josette is out to draw Terry away from the cover, which allows Flash to run back out and legsweep Terry onto the chair. Williams drapes an arm over Terry for the pin and the title!
TPT comes out to chase Flash away. Spade grabs the mic and challenges Williams. Moose begs to differ, saying he is the number one contender. TPT says we do need a title match at SNS, so he makes Moose vs Spade with the winner getting Williams at SNS.
Match #2: Mascara Mafia (Paredyse & Brandon "Espy" Espinosa) vs The Mobile Homers (Adam Revolver & Ted McNaler w/Brittany Devore) vs Gut Checkers (Sam Shaw & Alex Silva) vs Best Team Ever (Rudy Switchblade & Jesse Godderz)
Gilbert explains this is a four corners tag match so anybody can tag anybody else. Titus asks if Brittany can be tagged in but Gilbert says she cannot since she's not a competitor. Revolver offers Mascara Mafia some "rocket fuel" but they decline. Notable that Paredyse not only has cut his hair but is not sporting any Hello Kitty! Godderz gets worked on by the Mobile Homers to start but eyerakes free and decides not to tag in Switchblade, opting to tag Espy instead. Godderz (in the corner with Paredyse) and Switchblade exchange banter between their corners. Switchblade tags Revolver to come in but Godderz tags in Paredyse. The Mafia works on Switchblade a bit until he and Paredyse clothesline each other and go down. Paredyse tags Silva in but Godderz jumps off the apron as Switchblade reaches out for a tag and gets backdropped by Silva for 2. Wrestlers spill into the ring! Gut Checkers dropkick the Mafia out to brawl with the Homers. Godderz blind tags Silva and BTE are alone in the ring! Godderz offers Switchblade a free shot then turns his back. Switchblade tags Shaw, who rolls up Godderz for the pin as Switchblade walks off.
The Coalition (OUR OVW Southern Tag Team Champions "The Washington Generals" Crimson & Jason Wayne plus Joe Coleman, Jack Black, Raul Lamotta, Shiloh Jones, and the Spanish Moss Guy) come to the ring. The four non-tag champs are wearing Coalition t-shirts. Wayne tries to talk on the field phone but there's some static, so Crimson will just use the mic ("the civilian form of communication"). Crimson declares that new security measures will be implemented at the Davis Arena! First, they will raise taxes (i.e. raise ticket and concession prices) and second, they will have metal detectors. Of course all this is for the safety of the fans, not to line their pockets. Crimson asks for a volunteer in order to demonstrate the metal detector wand. Crimson spots Gilbert, who he says is spewing terrorist rhetoric since he is negative towards the Coalition and supportive of "alleged terrorists" Silva and Shaw. Lamotta and Jonze are dispatched to fetch Gilbert and bring him to the ring. Black holds Gilbert's hands above his head as Coleman runs the wand over poor defenseless Gilbert. They find a cell phone (Crimson, who narrates, says terrorists activate roadside bombs with them!) and some keys to a BMW (a foreign car). Crimson then finds a collapsible baton then panic ensues as a grenade is found! The Spanish Moss Guy falls on it but it's a dud. Titus is delighted as Gilbert has a hood put over his head and Crimson pulls out a rubber glove to prepare for a full cavity search! Silva and Shaw (with a chair) run out and chase off the Coalition. Meanwhile, Dean grabs a chair himself and protects Gilbert from any further violations.
An angry Moose storms through the back looking for Spade and finds him but they get pulled apart by others.
Brittany comes down the hall with Paredyse and Espy, apologizing to them for any offending remarks the Mobile Homers made to them last week. They sit down with McNaler & Revolver, who also apologize. Paredyse and Espy accept their apology, then Revolver says he stopped at the drive-thru and got some extra chicken for them although it's not his momma's recipe. He pulls out a sack of Chick-Fil-A, which infuriates Paredyse and Espy all over again! McNaler tells Revolver they should have gotten Popeye's (it's better anyway). Paredyse says he expected this out of Revolver and McNaler but not Brittany, who he makes a cow reference toward (and she wasn't even wearing an "Eat Mor Chikin'" shirt:). This infuriates the Mobile Homers who challenge Paredyse & Espy for SNS. Paredyse says he and Espy will make Mobile Homers feel what it's like to be "gay-bashed"!
Match #3: "The Ken of OVW/The Justin Bieber of Professional Wrestling/The King of Pink" Dylan "Freakin'" Bostic (w/"The Quinn Fabray of OVW" Taeler Hendrix) & OUR OVW TV Champion "The Great" Cliff Compton vs "Diamond Steel" Ryan Howe & Jamin Olivencia
Titus takes over the ring announcing here (I think he sounds good at this) as Taeler come out in a tight royal blue strapless dress. Dean says Gilbert is in the back but he'll be OK. Howe is out with the guitar but doesn't play it. Titus notes that Bostic has been on a tear lately. Compton and Olivencia have a second ladder match at SNS. Howe, then Olivencia work on Bostic to start until Bostic lariats Olivencia and tags Compton in.  Olivencia almost immediately hits a Standing O on Compton and pins him. Okay...
Switchblade and Godderz are in the back. Godderz lectures Switchblade on unity, somehow bringing polar bears and penguins into the discussion (some of the audio was soft this week).  Switchblade interprets this as Godderz being cold so he drapes a coat over Godderz then hands him a broom, telling him to stick it between his legs and fly south! Godderz is upset because Switchblade turned his back on him earlier, so he turns his back on him here. Switchblade returns the favor and tells Godderz that he talked to the Board of Directors and they granted him a match at SNS with Godderz!
Dean and Titus go over the SNS card (Flash-TPT, Crimson/Wayne-Shaw/Silva, Compton-Olivencia ladder match, Women's Champ Jessie Belle vs Epiphany, Godderz-Switchblade, Mobile Homers-Mascara Mafia)
OUR NEW OVW Champion Doug Williams comes down and sits in Gilbert's chair for the TV main event. Williams has had a bit of difficulty with microphones this evening but Dean helps him get audible.
Match #4: James "Moose" Thomas vs "Smooth" Johnny Spade
Moose attacks Spade as he comes through the curtain and there was much brawling. They make it to the ring but a Spade running knee sends Moose right back out. Moose misses a charge and hits the ringpost as Spade ducks and Williams is pleased about the two tearing into each other, as this will make his title defense at SNS a lot easier. The referee counts both men out and calls for the bell. Williams thinks he's getting a night off but TPT comes out and tells him differently as Williams will defend against BOTH in a triple threat match! Flash runs out and hits TPT from behind with a spine board then piledrives him on the floor. Flash tells TPT he will be carried out on a stretcher tonight and he will shut OVW down!
Thoughts: On my initial watching of Williams-Terry, I started having flashbacks to the TNA days at the Nashville Fairgrounds with all the run-ins and ref bumps. I almost expected Jeff Jarrett to come out and hit somebody with a guitar. I stopped watching after this match because Glee was coming on, and that show opened with a faux news report that the New Directions show choir had been awarded the sectional championship after the choir that won was disqualified for using performance-enhancing drugs. I thought to myself "Wow, that's even more far-fetched than a wrestling match with a bunch of run-ins and ref bumps!" After Glee, I returned to watch the rest of OVW with a bit more optimism (The rest of Glee was pretty good despite those first few minutes).
Anyway, the metal detector demonstration on Gilbert was pretty funny. Dean's getting all bothered with this kind of reminded me of when Lance Russell would do that(I was hoping for him to use the phrase "for crying out loud"). If the Mobile Homers wanted to really make Mascara Mafia mad, they would throw slushies in the Mafia's faces! Strange that Compton got pinned almost immediately, not sure what to make of that. No Mix Tape this week:( and barely any mention of Jessie Belle vs Epiphany or Taeler's gift bags. There were only about six minutes left when they went to the main event, so I thought it might not have a finish. I'm going to rate this episode a thumbs in the middle only because of metal detectors and Chick-Fil-A.  

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