By Stevie J
HWA opens this week with the usual highlight video package and music. Can you feel it in the air tonight? Ed Gonzales is in the ring with a mic: "For all you rednecks who... who finally got your welfare checks cashed so you can come to World War 3, you saw one thing, and that's me defeat a hundred other men in the battle royal. That was step one, NOW there will not be another person in HWA who will get in my way, going all the way to the top." He's interrupted by Chris Carnage and his music, making his way to the ring and grabbing a mic of his own. "Nobody can stop me in this company? You're wrong. You and me." Gonzales: "You, you big dumb idiot and me?" And thus he gets in the ring, the match is ON~!
Ed Gonzales v. Chris Carnage
I don't Gonzales getting the better of this encounter the last time, but he does have some newfound confidence. That confidence doesn't prevent Carnage from easily overpowering him and knocking him to the canvas as the play by play announcers do free product plugs for the Nintendo Wii. Two count. Gonzales pulled up by his hair, punched into the ropes, kicked in the guy and choked on the ropes for four. Whip, lift, BIG powerbomb. Carnage poses and flexes for the crowd like an ugly Hulk Hogan. Gonzales thrown into the corner turnbuckle hard and he slumps to the ground. Another choke on the ropes this time with a boot, for a count of four. Gonzales gets the eyerake and goes on offense, trying in vain to pick up the much taller Chris Carnage, who reverses it and slams him down for two and a half. Gonzales whipped off the ropes into Carnage's waiting arms for a side slam. Three count is broken as Gonzales gets a foot into the ropes. Gonzales with a kick to the cajones and the bell rings. WINNER BY DQ: CHRIS CARNAGE. Gonzales slinks away to the back as Carnage writhes around on the mat in pain. Commercial.
Jon Moxley hits the ring and he's got the HWA title in his hand along with a mic. Moxley claimed the title in a fatal-four way match at WW3 on Dec. 30th. "You think I'd be in a good mood tonight. I closed out 2006 the HWA champion but really I'm in a very surly mood. Last week I stood here and said this is my belt, my building, my city, the HWA is MY company. I came back because they say the top competition in the country hangs their hat in the HWA. But as I stand here in the middle of this ring in this building again in front of all you disgusting retards, with this belt I could win six times with my hand behind my back, I feel like the big fish in the small pond. Is there anybody who can fight me? Who can beat me? Chris Carnage? Matt Stryker? Is there anybody who can take this belt from me on this planet? Hey is Cody Hawk in the building tonight?" Brian Jennings hits the ring with a mic: "I'm sick and tired of your friggin' mouth! You are an unbelievable athlete but you don't shut your #^% damn mouth. You might have a great body, a six pack, I have a six-pack in the cooler in the back. You've got ten years on me buddy, I'm an old son of a #%%@#. I've got one thing you don't have though, respect. You wanna #%@% on this company? There's a lot of history on that belt, it's been around since 1998, and you don't deserve it you're a piece of trash. Do you forget Indiana, you had your first tag team match with me, and you didn't know your head from your #%@ you stupid #%^#^$#." (Yes all of Jennings cursing is censored, every time he says "ass" or "bastard" or even the word "piss.") "One more time, it's my time, the clock is ticking I'm begging you man, one more chance. What do you say?" Moxley: "I'll give it to you, but not because you deserve it, but because you're the kind of loser that makes me sad to be in HWA. I'm gonna make you regret it."
Jon Moxley {C} v. Brian Jennings (HWA Heavyweight Title)
It's on like ping-pong~! Moxley strong to start, Jennings reverses to lay in chops and then clotheslines in the opposite corner. Moxley charges him with a blow to the throat and Jennings rolls to the outside. Moxley runs the apron and jumps to the outside with a knee. Jennings hits the guardrail and Moxley beats him down into it. Brawling continues outside the ring as the ref count reaches six for both men before the red-haired devil throws Jennings back in. The ref warns him about blatant chokes and kicks but Moxley still does as he pleases. Jennings blocks having his head smashed into the top of the turnbuckle and does it to Moxley in kind. Jennings charges in but Moxley gets a boot up. Baseball slide dropkick knocks Jennings to the outside. Moxley pulls him back to the apron by his hair and suplexes him back in. Stomps to the gut. Jennings pulled up by the hair, whipped to the corner, Moxley floats over him in the corner and snaps his head off the top rope. He climbs to the top rope and screams "GET UP LOSER" then comes off the top with a high dropkick. Pin gets two. Jennings pulled up again and he comes back with chops. Moxley whips him to the corner, charges and misses, but then turns it into a sleeper hold. Jennings starts to fade and Moxley lays in forearms and fists across the face. The ref keeps checking to see if Jennings is out and he flails around like a fish before his arm is raised once... twice... he holds at three. Jennings quickly back to his feet to deliver an atomic drop, the double clothesline connects and both men are down. Both men stand at five and trade right hands. Jennings hits his lariat but can't get three and Moxley responds with a jawjacker and the Moxicity (modified F5), lays back on the prone Jennings like a recliner, but the lax pin allows Jennings to kick out before three. Moxley with a boot to the head, sets up Jennings for the powerbomb but gets reversed into a big back bodydrop. He hits the buffalo (Stone Cold) stunner and gets two and a half. Irish whip reversed, Moxicity blocked, leg drop misses, Jennings cinches up the buffalo wing submission, lets it go and tightens it up even more, Moxley circles and tries to get away but can't escape and has to tap out! WINNER AND NEW HWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: BUFFALO BAD BOY BRIAN JENNINGS. Shocking - after just recently claiming the title in a fatal four-way at World War 3 Moxley drops the title with no build on free TV. I can't complain about the quality of the match, I'm just surprised by the decision here and expecting some sort of swerve or Dusty finish after the commercial break.
Brock Guffman makes his way to the ring along with his stable of champions, TV title holder Ganger and tag team champions Irish Airborne (Jake and Dave Crist). Guffman hands the mic to Jake Crist: "Mavericks you can dress like us, steal our moves, but you will never ever be as talented as us." Dave: "Typically when somebody in this business dies we give a ten-bell salute. So right now I'd like all of you to shut up and please bow your heads as we give a ten-bell salute to the Mavericks." They bow their heads and the crowd boos. "PLEASE SHOW SOME RESPECT! Because after what we did to the Mavericks and Scottie Murray, you're DEAD, YOU'RE DEAD, YOU'RE DEAD!!" Guffman: "The real perpetrator on the victims of the Mavericks is these people right here, these stupid in-bred hill rats. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING - the Mavericks had a dream, a desire, they wanted to rise in this business, and you people took it away from them. They had a dream like you do, although most of your dreams is where is my next paycheck gonna come from, or oh my God is she pregnant again? But you people saw the Mavericks as equals, but they don't have the talent of the Airborne, so therefore you people abandoned them and left them laying in the ring. You need to look in the mirror and realize this collection right here doesn't need your support - WE KNOW WE'RE GOOD. We have the TV title and the tag titles, that's more than you'll ever have, you people can't call yourselves champions. As we killed careers, these people killed the Mavericks, and that is why they'll never be in the HWA AGAIN." Irish Airborne smile smugly and mock the crowd, even jumping out of the ring to yell at fans in the front row as we go to commercial. No swerve on Jennings? I'm so used to bad decisions on TNA that I expect them everywhere else. Well arguably it WAS a bad decision to give away a heavyweight title change in the middle of the show and still want people to watch the rest, but at least they didn't compound it by fluking the victory. Commercial break - and now, a word from our sponsors.
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Now back to our show. We have a match in progress as we come back from break.
Matt Stryker v. JT Stahr (#1 contender's match)
Stryker and Stahr are battling for a future title shot at Brian Jennings. Stryker with a series of reversed wristlocks and an arm drag to knock his opponent to the mat. The two lock up again and Stryker gets control and pushes him down to the mat, but he fights out of it and gets an arm drag for his trouble, then a submission hold is applied. Stahr screams at the ref that his shoulder's up and he doesn't give up in the match. Stahr pushes Stryker to the corner and starts to work him over with punches, he whips him to the corner and charges, Stryker floats over and arm drags Stahr into another submission hold, which he sells by flexing his arm and wincing in pain. Stryker goads him to coming to him, pushes him into the corner, twists the arm again and takes him down to the mat. "GIVE UP! JUST GIVE UP!" Stahr verbally and physically responds no, and we get a war of chops, punches and elbows which Stryker gets the better of for a two count. Stryker goes right back to the arm again but Stahr counters it into a back suplex and gets a two count. Stahr runs him into the ropes and leaves him hanging on the top buckle. Stryker goes for a chop but it doesn't stop Stahr from setting up a running boot to the face to get another two count. Stryker with elbows to the gut but Stahr knocks Stryker with a closed fist and gets another long two count. Stahr picks him up again, shoulders to the gut in the corner as a "let's go Stry-ker" chant breaks out. Stahr goes for a move off the ropes but Stryker shoves him over the top to the floor hard. Baseball slide by Stryker knocks him into the guardrail and the fight continues outside. It might just be me but this seems to happen once in every HWA match. Stryker throws him back in and hits a crossbody for two. Chops and uppercuts lead to a an attempted Stryker driver that gets blocked by Stahr into another pin attempt. Stahr goes top rope, yells at the crowd, and Stryker cuts him off but Stahr throws him off. Stryker rolls through being thrown and is in position to stick a knee into Stahr when he comes flying down, and wincing in pain Stahr gets flipped over for the pin. WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: MATT STRYKER. Come to think of it they seem to have a #1 contender match for something on TV every week too. Commercial.
HWA MAIN EVENT: The Hippies v. Foreign Intelligence (#1 contender's match)
Yes believe it or not, we have another contender's match to close the show, this one for a shot at Irish Airborne's tag team titles. High IQ Quinten Lee is already in the ring as we come back from the break and mocking his opponents, asking for somebody to step up and lock hands with him. Instead the Jesse Hyde lures him in, grab a nose and a headlock, and gets owned in every way possible before the tag is made. Double team suplex leads two a two count. Lee tags in Ala Hussein, who gets whipped to the corner and monkey-flipped with ease. High knee coming off the ropes, another monkey flip and another double clothesline off the tag. Side headlock and shoulder tackle by Jesse Hyde but he charges and gets ducked and sends himself flying over the ropes. Back in the ring Ala Hussein scoops him up and pins him for two. Hussein continues to work on the head, picks him up and carries him over to their corner for a tag, hanging him for a tree of woe Lee can use in the process. While the ref argues whether this is legal or not Hussein pulls Hyde's hair on the outside. Lee with a forearm block and a two count pin. Hussein gets the tag and Hyde blocks a suplex attempt, the two jockey for position and Hussein goes for a schoolboy roll-up, Hyde gets through but Hussein turns it into a camel clutch - and YES THE ANNOUNCERS TEASE A BACK BREAKING AND HUMBLING. Sadly we do not get the Sheiky spot as this is merely the set-up for a hot tag, and Pompano Joe helps ping-pong Hyde back and forth until he goes for a two count. We have a clusterfuck in the ring, Hyde and Hussein spill outside to brawl, and Patrick Black tries to nail Hyde but accidentally hits Hussein. Back in the ring the Hippies go high-low on Lee and get the three count. WINNERS AND NEW #1 CONTENDERS: THE HIPPIES. Lee drags Black into the ring to verbally berate him, and tells him he's officially downsized - YOU'RE FIRED. G'night everybody!
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