Total Divas Episode 11: Get That Chingle Chingle
Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike)
Well folks, Total Divas has officially been renewed for a second wonderful season. I can only hope we get more doctor's visits for Ariane and episodes featuring Vincent learning to wrestle. With that, on with this week's recap!
Backstage at an event, the Funkadactys meet with WWE seamstress Sandra. Trinity is worried about having a boob (she calls them her “potatoes”) pop out of her gear during the show. Brie Bella is shown facing Tamina Snuka on RAW. Brie's not used to wrestling as a solo act, and she's realizing that she misses her twin sister. Meanwhile, at John Cena's House, John is recovering from his elbow injury and hanging out at his house. It's his house, you see, and Nikki wants to add a “Nicole touch” now that she lives there. Over in LA, Ariane is recording a song. Wait, what? She also uses the terms “create a brand” and “chingle chingle” and she may immediately be my least favourite person on this show. The less said about this the better. Except she gives Vincent a head-scissors and begins to grapple with him. In the recording studio. Huh. They discuss Vincent trying to different things, and the idea is brought up of him doing a “pre-audition for NXT.” He's hesitant, but lets her talk him into it.
Elsewhere, Trinity and Jon Uso are driving and she wants a foot rub. While they're driving. Trinity's dad calls and asks if he can stay at their apartment. She's excited that her dad is visiting, and she's hoping him and Jon can hang out. Then we meet up with Nikki and Jon, who go for breakfast. He's antsy to get back to work. He can't watch the show while he's injured. He discusses missing his life's work, and she discusses redecorating his house. Nikki tells the camera that she's wondering if John's house will ever be their home? Later on, Vincent and Ariane play with her dog in a park. Bill deMott calls and sets up the pre-audition for Vincent. (She's super-excited, he barely reacts visibly.) Back in Tampa, Trinity and Jon settle in for movie night, when Trinity's dad (Shawn) arrives. Uh-oh! She's excited to see him, as he's always on the road (and I guess now she is, too). Over at John Cena's House, John's in bed when Nikki gets back from a workout. John takes time to go over the difference between the “smelly clothes” hamper and the “nice clothes” hamper. He's a bit of a neat-freak, you see. Nikki frets about this. Vincent and Ariane arrive at the WWE Performance Center for his training. Bill deMott's first question for him is “How you get suckered into this?” MVP of this episode right there. We get a montage of Vincent exercizing with Bill yelling at him, and it's fantastic. He's completely sweaty and gassed...and the editors helpfully put up a caption, telling us he's been in the ring for all of four minutes. Amazing. Ariane points out that Vincent has never had good cardio. Finally, he's too gassed to get up and Bill deMott cuts a promo on him and ends the training session. Vincent is sad that he couldn't do better, and throws up outside in the parking lot.
After training, Vincent is sore and tired and Ariane is trying to give him a pep talk. He doesn't think that it's for him, which Ariane no-sells and asks why he doesn't want the opportunity? (He's not in good enough shape would be a good place to start...) He promises to put 110% in. Elsewhere, Nikki is in her car and calls Brie to discuss John being a neat freak. She's on her way back from the grocery store, as John has no solid food in his house (as a rule). Over at Jon and Trinity's place, her dad wanders out from his room to make a sandwich and half-jokingly asks if she and Jon (hanging out in the living room) are “doing the nasty.” In a cute detail, both Trinity and her dad are in full pajama tops-and-bottoms. Jon is visibly unimpressed at being forced out of his bedroom due to Trinity's dad being there. Back at the WWE Performance Center, we get more excellence from Bill deMott. This time, he teaches Vincent to run the ropes. Again, he's absolutely gassed. After a quick break, he gets back into the ring and Bill decides to teach him how to fall (after putting on some head-gear). He trips him once and he does a back bump, and when he gets up he is breathing incredibly heavily. After a commercial break, Bill decides to have a chat with Vincent, telling him this isn't the place for him to learn to wrestle. He thanks him for coming and shakes his hand. Vincent is disappointed (because he let Ariane down) and cries a little bit. Ariane feels bad because she pushed Vincent maybe a bit to far.
Next up, we head to Biloxi for RAW. Nattie appears on the show, where she signs posters Mark Carrano from Talent Relations greets Eva Marie and takes her to get scanned for her first action figure. She's stoked and thinks she must be there to stay if they're making an Eva Marie action figure. Nattie wanders in to watch Eva's scan, noting she was surprised that Eva's getting an action figure. Eva talks about her boobs for a bit and Nattie refers to her as a “hooch” (in a confessional video, not to her face). Brie has a match and wins. Backstage, Jon meets with Trinity and declares he's ready to go home. He gets cranky when she reminds him that her dad will still be there, leading to an argument. She's not going to tell him to leave, while Jon just wants to relax at home with her (and he can't with her dad there). Elsewhere, Ariane and Vincent have dinner. He's preparing to open a hookah bar and she pledges to help support his dreams. Over at John Cena's House, Nikki is cooking in his kitchen with solid food! Solid food! John's a bit taken aback that his kitchen is being used, as he figured they'd go out for dinner (as they always do). She's planning on cooking for him all the time, while he's a bit shell-shocked. He's such a neat freak and Nikki is upset.
After a break, John goes to the gym and meets with his buddy Rob. They play chess and discuss John's injury rehab and how Nikki's mad at him about being a neat freak. Rob makes a chess pun (telling John he's always checking things off) as he puts John's piece into check. Rob advises John that Nikki was doing nice things for him, but just not doing things his way. Basically, if he wants Nikki in his life, he'll have to change a bit. Also: check-mate. Elsewhere, Trinity, Jon and Nattie meet to watch her dad's band play. They explain how he's staying with them, and Nattie can sorta see both sides of things. Anyhow, we get to see a bit of the show, and the band is actually pretty good. After the show, her dad decides to have an after-party at their apartment. Jon has to be up in the morning, while Trinity doesn't want to say no to her dad. This will end poorly. Back at the apartment, Jon wants to sleep, and suddenly a million people are in his home making noise. In the midst of the party, Trinity asks Jon “What's wrong?” They go into the hallway and have an argument, and then Jon walks off in a huff. We return to John Cena's House, where Nikki returns home to candles and flowers and John Cena being a big old softie because he listened to his buddy Rob. He admits that Nikki lives there now and it needs to be their home. Nikki is happy. Finally, Trinity and her dad go for a walk, and she admits that he needs to find a different place to stay so she and Jon can have their space. He gets it and is glad his daughter has found love.
The Verdict: If this show was just an hour of Bill deMott yelling at Vincent, this would've been the best show ever. Sadly, it was only eight minutes of Bill yelling, so the episode was only “pretty good.”