5.1 Impact Wrestling
by Jeff Hamlin (
) Twitter: @hamlin37
The Big News: Eric Young defeated Bobby Roode to retain the TNA World title after Roode
earned a title shot by beating Gunner. MVP showed signs of turning heel when he kept
Bully Ray from power bombing Dixie Carter through a table.
Bully Ray spray painted a table outside the building.
Eric Young walked into MVP's office saying he wasn't surprised about beating Magnus on
Sunday. MVP said there wasn't a level playing field before he entered the company, but he
respected Young, who responded that he wanted to defend the title tonight. MVP handed
Young a deck of cards and brought Mr. Anderson and Gunner into the room as the potential
challengers. Bobby Roode walked in and demanded he be included in the group since he
defeated Ray on Sunday. MVP announced that the highest card would receive a bye, while
the other two cards would face each other. The winner of that match would face the person
who drew the highest card, and the winner of that match would face Young. In other words,
by the time the main event rolls around, Young could be facing someone wrestling in their
3rd match tonight, and at least their 2nd. Keep in mind Young is a babyface. It's the old
Vince Russo ploy of making television shows as complicated as possible in lieu of giving
people something they want to see. Anderson drew a four of spades, while Gunner drew a
four of diamonds. Roode drew the Ace of Spades, meaning it was Gunner vs. Anderson with
the winner facing Roode.
Magnus came to the ring upset he wasn't included in the drawing, even though he was the
champion for four months and called out MVP. Instead, Abyss came out of the crowd and
started brawling with Magnus. Abyss gave Magnus a choke slam and brought out a chair. The
fans called for Janice, and Abyss placated to their wishes. Magnus hit the bricks.
Ray came out with the table spray pained "Dixie.: He was selling his ribs after
going through the table at Sacrifice. Ray vowed to put Dixie through a table if he saw
her tonight. Brief but good babyface promo by Ray.
Dixie pulled up in a limo at this point looking overjoyed at the results of Sacrifice. So
this was five talking segments before we had the first commercial break.
Rockstar Spud saw Dixie and wanted to cover her up with a tarp since she was oblivious to
Ray's warning. Despite Spud's warnings, Dixie wasn't listening and said Ray was the one
who should be worried since she's his boss.
Gunner defeated Mr. Anderson in 3:53 to advance to face Roode in the world title
tournament. Scientific match with a weird finish. Storm ran out to interfere but Gunner
knocked him off the apron. Gunner blocked an attempt at the Mic Check and threw Anderson
into the corner. Anderson gave Gunner an Irish Whip into the corner, where Storm was
waiting to interfere. But Gunner reversed the whip and Storm kicked Anderson, who fell
into the Hanger 18 finisher. Announcers made it out like Storm didn't mean to help Gunner
win, but Storm didn't look upset. And Gunner looked confused. *1/2
Magnus was in the dressing room when someone named Bram walked in. Magnus hugged him like
they were longtime friends, but Bram said they needed to talk. Bram said he was there to
knock some sense into Magnus, called him an embarrassment to the U.K. Bram reminded
Magnus about the old times where they drank and chased women. Now, Bram said that Gunner
had gone soft. Bram pushed Magnus against a locker and said he was here for Magnus' own
Ethan Carter the Third came out and said he was going to face Kurt Angle one-on-one next
week. EC3 said he was glad Angle was back because there was no way he could validate
himself as a professional until he beats Angle. He talked about his own amateur wrestling
background and going 288-0 at Boca Raton Prep Academy. He wanted a sparring partner and
introduced Spud, who was dressed in amateur gear and a red bow tie. Together, EC3 and
Spud gave kids the obligatory "Don't try this at home" warning, which was cute.
They were doing lame homoerotic gags until Angle came out. Angle said this Kurt Angle was
out for blood against EC3, and guaranteed he would end his undefeated streak and hurt EC3
The Beautiful People walked in and talked about the celebration they were going to throw
to commemorate Angelina Love winning the Knockouts title for the 6th time. Earlier this
week, I watched one of those early-90s Superstars of Wrestling episodes, which was
nothing but squash matches culminating with interviews to promote house shows. Granted,
the format was in another era and hardly anything in the WWF in 1992 was over. But it
just dawned on me how much one hour's worth of squash matches would be a nice change of
pace instead of another two hours worth of angles that won't get anyone over. Because the
point of the squash matches was to get people over instead of just trying to copy
whatever the opposing company was doing.
In tape purportedly last Sunday, Knux and his girlfriend were driving to Orlando. He told
her that she needed to be "Rebel," which I guess was her stripper name. Knux
reveled that two other people, Crazy Steve and the Freak, would be joining their group.
Rebel was upset, but Knux said they needed all the help they could get. The group would
be known as the Menagerie, and they have carnival music playing in the background with
their logo. Maybe Kizarny will do a surprise walk-in on the next vignette. Even Mike
Tenay admitted he didn't know what any of this means. Join the club.
2. Bobby Roode defeated Gunner in 6:02 to earn the title shot against Young. Standard
good match with Roode, who is really the MVP of the company. Gunner hit a DDT but Roode
kicked out at two. Gunner attempted Hanger 18 but Roode raked his eyes to escape, but
Gunner put Roode back down again with a Slingshot Suplex. Gunner tried a head butt off
the top rope, but Roode moved and got the clean pin after a Roode Bomb. ***
Dixie was surrounded by a group of security guards and ordered them to put the table with
her name on it in the center of the ring and don't leave her side.
Love told Velvet Sky they received a letter from company management saying she would be
expected to carry herself in a classy manner and to cut down on revealing wardrobe. The
company demanded they start dressing like ladies. Love said they would put on evening
gowns and carry on with their celebration.
Dixie came out with several wrestling trainees disguised as security guards. She sat down
on Ray's table and made fun of his catchphrase. Dixie bragged that the master of the
tables was put through a table, which she claimed was the first time that had happened to
him. I've seen Ray go through at least four tables in the past month alone. She said Ray
should fear Dixie. Ray came out with a chain and tried to talk security guards that were
lined up on the ramp into letting him pass and put Dixie through a table. They obliged,
but there were still three other guards in the ring. Ray gave them five seconds to leave
the ring or else they would get their ass kicked. He charged the ring, but the three
guards pounced on him. Immediately, Ray cleared the ring of the guards and was left alone
with Dixie, who tried to slap him. Ray caught her arm and tried to power bomb her, but
MVP came out. MVP ordered Dixie to leave the ring. MVP then barred both Dixie and Ray
from the Impact Zone until further notice. MVP said the ring belonged to him, and as
Director of Wrestling Operations everything that happened in that ring was his
responsibility. But he allowed Abyss to get into a ring with a 2x4 adorned just an hour
ago. Point of the segment seemed to be teasing the upcoming MVP heel turn.
3. Willow defeated James Storm by DQ in 4:03. Storm's new music is a cover of "God's
Gonna Cut You Down," an old folk song that was one of the many covers that Johnny
Cash did for American Records that resurrected his career in the 00's. It's actually
cooler music than the stuff he had when he was the top face. Willow did a cool baseball
slide out of the ring into an elbow drop onto Storm. Willow hit the Air Hardy off the
ring steps into the guard rail. At this point, Willow pulled out a chair and tried a
running leg drop with Storm against the steps, but missed. Storm pulled out his beer
bottle, then shoved down referee Brian Hebner for the DQ. Storm broke the bottle and
teased stabbing Willow with it, but Willow hit Storm with his umbrella. Storm was about
to leave when Anderson snuck up behind him and gave him a Mic Check on the ramp. So
there's Storm's new program. *1/2
Bro Mans were pissed at MVP for appointing a 3-on-2 match against the American Wolves on
Sunday, when they lost the TNA tag team titles. MVP pointed out they had the 3-on-2
advantage and still lost. MVP said they could wrestle the Wolves again tonight in a
six-man, where the Wolves would team with a mystery partner. Then Ray walked up pissed at
MVP for stopping him from power bombing Dixie. Ray reminded MVP that the only reason he
has the role of Director of Wrestling Operations is because Ray double-crossed Dixie in
the Lethal Lockdown match. MVP said he was responsible for everything that happened in
that ring, but whatever happened outside of the ring was out of his control. He seemed to
be passing along a hint to Ray, along with warning him all at once.
Young said he and Roode have a long history together, including being in Team Canada
together. He mentioned how they've wrestled in almost every arena in the country
4. The Wolves and Sanada defeated Bro Mans and DJ Zema in 3:30. Eddie Edwards and Davey
Richards shot DJ Zema into another dimension with a hip toss over the top rope onto
Jessie Gooderz and Robbie E., and Sanada followed with a tope on Zema. Robbie tried to
copy Sanada's karate chop but wound up hurting his hand for comedy. Richards hit the
Pop-Up kick and an exploder suplex on Robbie. Finishing sequence came with Edwards
hitting a double foot stomp on Zema, followed by Sanada nailing a moonsault and Richards
pinning Zema with another double foot stomp. Bro Mans will get a rematch for the tag
belts next week. **1/2
Love and Sky came out in evening gowns. They talked about the letter they received from
TNA management saying they must abide by a more responsible dress code. They said they
take orders from no one and teased stripping, but then heeled on the fans saying they
were the ones who wrote the letters and the fans couldn't find girls as hot as them if
they went to Nevada with a fistfull of 50s. Love proclaimed herself the greatest
Knockouts wrestler of all time. Gail Kim came out and said Love was making a mockery of a
division that she built and attempted to strip Love herself, but Sky pulled her to
safety. Then Brittany and Madison Rayne snuck up from behind and stripped Love and Sky
down to their bra and panties. This would have been more worthwhile if we didn't see Love
and Sky half-naked every week.
5. Eric Young defeated Bobby Roode to retain the TNA World Title in 13:19. Roode threw
Young into the corner, and Young took the old HHH/Ray Stephens bump. Young made a
comeback with a flying forearm, a belly-to-belly suplex and a tope, leading to a missile
dropkick for a two count. Young teased the piledriver, but Roode flipped him over. Young
caught a crucifix for another two count. Roode caught the Double R Spinebuster for a near
fall. Roode attempted the Blockbuster, but Young kicked him and hit the piledriver, but
Roode kicked out of Young's finisher. Young went to the top rope for the Randy Savage
Elbow, but Roode pushed the ropes to crotch Young. That was followed by Roode hitting the
Roode bomb, but Young kicked out. Roode hit an enzuigiri and attempted a Roode Bomb off
the top rope, but Young punched Roode off the top rope and hit the Randy Savage Elbow for
the pin. Cool spot at the end of the match where Young shook Roode's hand. ***
Ray did a brief promo in the back where he vowed to get Dixie Carter even though he's
been banned from the Impact Zone.
SUMMARY: A standard two hour show that wasn't horrible, wasn't appalling and did nothing
to get anyone over. Young comes off as a guy who the fans like who is carrying a prop as
opposed to a world champion.
Sent from Rod's Pad.