Celebrity Apprentice with Tito Ortiz review for 1/10
Celebrity Apprentice: Episode 2
By Shawn Garrett
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Quick recap: Tiffany Fallon, the former Playboy model, was booted for not standing up for herself.
Piers Morgan and Omarosa have already started bickering, before the credits even start. He drinks, she's obnoxious, ad nauseam.
Stephen Baldwin presents the check for over $69,000 to his mother, a breast cancer survivor, and her breast cancer awareness charity.
Trump has gathered the troops to present this weeks challenge. He asks them who like animals. Tito and Lennox affirm, that yes, they do like animals. This surprises Trump. This month is Pet Adoption month. 4 million dogs end up in a shelter every year. Only 2 million are adopted. Their challenge, to make a 30-second commercial for Pedigree, promoting their annual Pet Adoption Drive. Trump asks the team to choose their manager. Nely Galan steps up for the women, and Gene Simmons is project manager for the men. Trump asks Simmons if is hitting on the women yet. He replies, "Of course, it's my job." The winning project manager will receive $20,000 for their charity.
Empresario is stretching and holding hands in their suite, before they begin brain storming. Omarosa is disgusted. They decide to go meet with Pedigree executives to find out what they are looking for in a commercial. They want to present celebrities. The executive suggests telling a story involving dogs and the adoption process.
Hydra is heading straight to the studio. Gene Simmons refuses to see the Pedigree executive. He wants to use every precious moment in the studio. Piers wants to do a story of a sad dog that ends up in the arms of naked Lennox Lewis. No. Trace Adkins presents a 30-second non-stop, one-take shot. Gene Simmons adamantly says no. Adkins is pissed. Baldwin volunteers to direct, after all, he's a Baldwin. Gene Simmons acquiesces. Ivanka, Trumps daughter has shown up. She looks like a Muppet with giant breasts. Gene slyly says that they want her to be in their commercial. Ivanka laughs it off. She asks if the men have a concept yet. Piers starts to pitch this idea, then Gene interrupts, "We think it's terrific you're here, but we have a lot of work to do." Basically telling her to leave. He then says, "Being a female of the species yourself," he continued, "does not mean you will not be talking to the women about what we were talking about." Ivanka found this obviously offensive.
The men have attempted to film a scene out on the street of New York, causing a major scene.
Omarosa has already withdrawn herself from the content of this weeks contest. She believes that the girls will fail again, and she doesn't want to be part of the problem. Galan is having problems with Nadia, apparently she's not listening. Henner is assisting with the writing and directing. She is working hard with the actors, which is very loose-term of the word. They sucked.
The men are recording voiceovers. Baldwin and Simmons are 100% behind Trace being the voice of the commercial. Simmons, "It's like the voice of God." Piers wants to hear about how the commercial is going, so Simmons & Baldwin sent everyone else home. They will finish the commercial themselves. Tito hasn't said one thing yet.
Empresario are editing. Omarosa doesn't like slobbering dogs, not a fan of the Saint Bernard. They are having difficulty putting their scenes together, the flow isn't right.
Hydra are attempting to edit as well. Uh-oh, the boys that were sent home are coming back. Tito is leading the pack. He wants to be involved in the process. Simmons and Baldwin are surprised to see them, and they ask Tito to leave. Balls. Tito and the rest of the men are arguing about how Simmons and Baldwin are acting. He doesn't trust both of them.
Empresarios are presenting their commercial to Pedigree. Apparently it wasn't worth showing on our TV, but Trump said it was great. Hydra is now presenting. The Pedigree executive mentions that Hydra didn't come see him, to pick his brain about the commercial and he's worried the men may have missed the mark. Simmons blabs about the Art of War, and says something in Chinese. Piers corrects him. Simmons says, "I was speaking the Mandarin version." Piers is such a tool. Simmons continues, "War is on the battlefield, not the boardroom." Trump reminds him that the executive is still upset about not being met with. Simmons continues, "With all due respect, we would rather do less of our talking and be judged by what is up on that screen, respectfully." Tito looks upset. Their commercial plays, and Tito ends up liking the ad.
Board room time. Jennie Finch is enormous. Jesus, seeing her stand with all the girls. Ivanka brings up Simmon's comments. He apologizes. Trump watches Empresario's first. Simmons & Baldwin are already celebrating. Hydra's commercial airs. Omarosa admits that Lennox is hot. Trump says Pedigree picks Hydra's ad. The men leave victorious. Tito quotes Borat on the way out, "High Five!"
The women now face Trump. Trump says too many dogs. Trump doesn't like the voiceovers. Marilu was in charge of the voiceovers. Tito is wearing a PINK tie in the suite. Finch says that Trump should fire Nadia or Carol Alt, because they didn't do much. Carol Alt says that Nadia should be fired. Nadia says she ordered food. Nely gets to pick two people, for Trump to fire from. Nely chooses Carol and Nadia. They all leave, Trump pretty much says that Carol won't be fired.
The three ladies return. Nely says that she was over ambitious. Trump wants to know why Marilu wasn't brought back. Nadia says this disaster was Nely's fault. Carol says that Nadia couldn't lead a team. Nely says Marilu is not the weakest link. Nadia says she can lead, but only something athletic. This confuses Trump. Trump says everyone can lead, even losers and he knows a lot of losers. Nadia isn't coming up with any reasons on why she shouldn't be fired or what she can do in the future. Trump thinks that Nely just had a bad day. Trump says that Nadia is great person working by herself and as a gymnast, but she will never be a leader and she's fired.
Next week: An appearance by Alec Baldwin and Gene Simmons says, "I am the God of all women."
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