The Notorious Jewel De'Nyle & Shelly Martinez: A Pro Wrestling Review



By William J Ashley

Shelly Martinez (former Ariel in the WWE and currently Salinas in TNA) has a new movie out. Time to watch!

THE ENTRANCES

The movie opens with a video package for the movie I'm about to see and contains spoilers. Dumb. Anyway, then we transition into video of the two girls separately trying on their gear (which consists of black stocking) while soft guitar/piano music plays. This finally culminates when the two girls come together to prance about seductively in their new stockings to the music while the "film" is filtered to look like it has scratches in it. Classy.

Nudity Content: Both topless.

THE HEAT

Jewel quickly takes control of Shelly and spends the next 10 minutes or so spanking her with a small paddle in the breasts and ass regions. No music, which was very sad. Instead we have the pleasure to hear Jewel trash talk, badly. At the end Jewel gets on top of Shelly like Shelly is a pony. Shelly escapes. Jewel forgot to get the hooks in.

Nudity Content: Shelly topless.

I guess you'd call the next 10 minutes or so a brief comeback on Shelly's part as we spend it watching the two girls smoke... outside. No exaggeration there, it's 10 minutes of watching them smoke with weird guitar music playing in the background. I don't think I've ever been more bored watching porn.

Nudity Content: Jewel wears a see through top.

The next 13 minutes is filled (yes, filled as in filler) with Shelly being tied up with red duct tape while her hands are tied above her head. Actually, she's not tied she's just holding her hands up there because she was told to do so. Huh. Anyway, Jewel spanks her a bit and then uses one of those sticks with a piece of leather on the end of it to hit Shelly while talking trash again. No music unfortunately.

Nudity Content: Both topless.

THE COMEBACK

Okay, so after Jewel has gotten the heat on Shelly for 33 minutes, Shelly finally gets to make her comeback. Shelly uses a cat of nine tails to whip a naked Jewel. Again, no music. Shelly tells Jewel, "I'll pin you." I thought this was the signal to take it home, but I was mistaken.

Nudity Content: Jewel fully nude.

Oh okay, what Shelly said makes sense now. Shelly spends the next 9 minutes applying clothespins to Jewel's nude body. ALL OVER. It looks painful, but like an Abyss match I can't help but laugh. The shitty guitar-heavy music is back! Awesome. Jewel plays up the rock attitude by playing to the camera with MEAN FACES and even flips the bird a few times. It makes me think of Christy Hemme's new gimmick and for the first time during this scene I feel pain. The segment ends with Shelly taking off the pins, showing off Jewel's bruises and Jewel giving the devil horns to the camera. I couldn't help but think that this would have been more effective if they had bothered to tease this spot. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention this segment was all in black and white?

Nudity Content: Jewel fully nude.

THE FINISH

Shelly has disappeared now; she must have been called to manage LAX on Xplosion. It's just Jewel now, and after a while she's nude and pleasuring herself. Long story short, she masturbates on a fake looking animal (bear?) skin rug and at some point picks up a sword that just happens to be next to her to use in said act. It's a very safe looking sword, so no juice. No music to cover up her dirty mouth and the filthy things that come out of it either. This segment feels like it goes on forever (in reality 18 minutes) and just seems like she's doing moves for the sake of moves. No psychology. Should have ended earlier with the sword spot, she lost the audience after that.

Nudity Content: Jewel fully nude.

If you've ever watched a Chris Abyss match and thought, "Man, I wish they'd made porn flicks like this," then this video is for you!

I give it 2 out of 5.

The Notorious Jewel De'Nyle & Shelly Martinez is available at all fine pornography retailers and online at http://www.sinsationpictures.com/ (18 and older only). {plug}

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