Jeff Hamlin's TNA Impact report



6.26 TNA Impactby Jeff Hamlin ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it )

The Big News: Booker T defeated Kevin Nash. For real, though it wasn’t clean of course. Also, Christian Cage was power bombed through a glass table by Team 3-D. And Brother Ray promised to set Kurt Angle up with a blind date next week.

A.J. Styles defeated Consequences Creed. Both worked as faces. Mike Tenay told the story that Styles was instrumental in getting Creed his job in TNA after training with him in Georgia. Kurt Angle was watching from a television from a parking lot. He must have one hell of an extension cord. Creed was a little tentative at times with his offense. Styles caught the Pele kick before hitting the Styles clash for the pin. *3/4

At the finish, Jeremy Borash called Styles to the ramp and announced over the PA that Kurt was waiting for Karen in the parking lot. Exactly why the entire crowd and folks at home needed to know that is beyond me. Styles raced to the back.

After a commercial, Styles and Kurt was arguing while Karen tried to break it up. Security pulled Kurt away. Styles told Karen he was going to look after her tonight, but she started to turn him away saying she had a job to do. Karen went with Styles anyway.

Brother Ray did a promo from the ring talking about laying out Rhino last week, and tonight he would do the same to Christian Cage. He said the fans would see something they had never seen before. I was wondering if Spike TV was going to New York for coverage of Michael Jordan’s first decent NBA draft pick. But no, the answer was Cage’s wrestling career. Speaking of the NBA, don’t miss the latest DVD from kayfabe commentaries. It’s Guest Booker with David Stern.

Christian Cage defeated Brother Ray by DQ. Cage took a backdrop where he was nearly sent into orbit. Cage responded with a crossbody off the top. He tried another, but Ray caught him and teased a superplex, only to have Cage throw him off and hit a frog splash for a two count. Johnny Devine (he’s still with 3-D?) ran in with a Kendo stick, but Cage caught him with a White Russian leg sweep. Ray then nailed Cage with the stick for the DQ. Then Brother Dvon, Tomko and Devine brought out a glass table. The announcers said no one could save Cage because Rhino was taken out. Ray did the super bomb through the table, shattering the glass into a million pieces. This was presented as the biggest Impact angle in months. This time, they didn’t shift away to the back and actually showed several replays. Cage was bleeding in the back, and doctors were in the ring within seconds of impact. Kaz and Eric Young ran in to check on him. *

They came back from break and Tenay and Don West were putting over the brutality of 3-D. Later, they said Cage would receive "many stitches" at a local hospital.

Kevin Nash was in the back preparing for his match with Booker T by relaxing on the sofa. By the way, why does Nash get his own dressing room while Joe has to dress with all the other wrestlers since he’s World champion? Samoa Joe walked in and the two did subtle putdowns of each other. Nash mentioned at this point in his career, he had to conserve energy. I thought that was every day of his career.

Awesome Kong and Raisha Saaed came out for the $25,000 challenge. Saeed chose Danielle from Buffalo, N.Y.

Awesome Kong defeated Danielle. Kong damn near killed her when she rammed her head in the stairs. As she fought at ringside, Taylor from last week’s challenge was arguing with her. Kong shoved her. Danielle appeared pretty green as Kong had a hard time getting her up for the Awesome bomb for the pin. ¼*

Postmatch, Taylor jumped the guard rail and ran in the ring. Saaed tried to interfere, only to get decked in the process. It ended with a pull apart brawl where Jim Cornette came out and chastised her for running in the ring. Taylor asked him if she could fight Saaed next week, and if she won she could get a rematch with Kong. Cornette took her to the back to talk about it.

They aired a profile piece on Angelina Love, which included her hanging around Jerry Lawler during his exile from the WWE in 2001. Love talked about how Gail Kim was mean to her during their days from Border City Wrestling. Scott D’Amore mentioned how Love got smeared during the early days of TNA at the Asylum in Nashville. D’Amore said he knew Love would make it back then because she never quit despite being beaten up. It was fine as a profile piece, but I think it hurts the heat that Love was attracting.

Dave Penzer was about to introduce Team Japan for the World X Cup, but Frank Trigg came out to cut a promo on Styles. It was a good promo for someone new to the profession, even if Trigg seemed to be reciting a script. He ran down Styles for attacking him from behind in the parking lot, and said in Trigg’s world of MMA he looks a man in the eye before he knocks him out. Trigg challenged him to come to the ring, and Styles was shown freaking out in the back. Styles came out, while Kurt confronted Karen backstage. Karen asked Kurt if she was going to hit him, but he said no but he know who would. The Beautiful People were standing there. Karen got in their faces, and we saw enough of that to understand that Karen doesn’t need to do anything physical. Love and Velvet Sky jumped Karen and put a bag over her head while Styles watched helplessly on the big screen. This would have been much better had they not just shown the Love profile piece in the segment before.

 

Team International came out (Doug Williams, Tyson Dux, Daivari and Alex Kozlov) along with Team TNA (Kaz, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley and Curry Man).

Rey Buchanero and Ultimo Guerrero defeated Masato Yoshino and Naruki Doi. Ultimo Guerrero and Rey Buchanero. Match consisted mainly of double team moves. While it was rushed and had no psychology, it was a good as you would expect. Despite their standing in CMLL, Guerrero and Buchanero were the faces. Yoshino did his lightning face rope work. Buchanero came back with a sidewalk slam on both Doi and Yoshino at the same time. Dot and Yoshino did stereo topes on Team Mexico. Yoshino did his missile dropkick where he got sky high. Guerrero got a hot tag and did a high gourdbuster off the second rope on Yoshino. Buchanero did a tope splash on Yoshino to the floor, while Guerrero did a Guerrero SPecia (reverse superplex) on Doi. Buchanero got the pin after a Castigo Bucanero (corkscrew senton) while Doi was draped across Guerrero’s knees. Great stuff ***3/4.

Black Machismo and So Cal Val were in the back stressed out backstage. Machismo was furious over Sonjay Dutt turning his back on him. Val blurted out she wanted to put off the wedding, which caught Machismo by surprise. Val just walked away and got ready for the impending heel turn which will catch no one by surprise—except Machismo of course.

The promo piece for LAX vs. Storm and Roode is officially a fans revenge match. They’re actually asking fans to turn in tapes to have them explain why they should be invited to come down for the PPV and be at ringside. There was a shot of two obese women dressed in leather with belts that will give me nightmares for weeks.

Sonjay Dutt came out with four kids in turbans, tambourines and genie outfits, who were called the Guru-Lites. Man does that bring to mind lots of Michael Jackson jokes. Dutt announced the start of the "Save Val Foundation," and wanted to break her away from the shackles of Black Machismo. He ordered the Guru-Lites to hit tambourines, and started chanting "Set Val Free." Val came out angry, and Machismo ran out to little reaction to beat him up. Dutt made his own comeback, but ran into his own giant urn. Dutt bailed as Machismo tried to hit the elbow.

Booker T showed off his new dressing room to Borash. He even ordered Borash to take his shoes off. Booker had a velvet red couch and lots of artwork. There was a picture of Booker with Muhammad Ali. Borash asked him was that really the greatest, and Booker said "Yes, and the other guy is Muhammad Ali." Booker said TNA’s ratings were up because of him. He’s needs a subscription to this website.

Rough Cup with Matt Morgan featured him talking about his first year at Monmouth University, where they made the NCAA Tournament for the first time, only to get destroyed by Marquette. The coach that recruited him retired, and Morgan didn’t get along with his replacement so he transferred to Chaminade in Hawaii, the NAIA school most famous for upsetting top-ranked Virginia in 1982 in what has to be considered the biggest upset in college basketball history. Morgan got a tryout with the Indiana Pacers, got cut and got into wrestling after watching the first season of Tough Enough on MTV.

Tomko, Borash and Team 3-D were pleading with Angle to get over Karen. Ray talked about how unattractive Karen had gotten. Ray did a hilarious interview about how he deserves filet mignon and fine wine, and chose ground beef and a Colt .45 instead. Ray claimed he had a black book 3 inches long full of 9s and 10s, and would set up Kurt with a blind date next week. Kurt asked no fat chicks. He wasn’t the only one, because if he did it would bring back the gimmick that ruined Mike Awesome’s career.

Moose defeated ODB in a TNA knockout bimbo brawl. It was an anything goes weapons match. Moose’s catchphrase is "I hate Bimbos." Her faction with the Beautiful People has already been dropped. ODB put Moose into a shopping cart and rammed it into the stairs. Moose made the comeback with a hockey stick to the back and choking her with a chain, which she held forever until ODB flipped her off the second rope. ODB gave her a fallaway slam and gave her three shovel shots, including one over the head. Stiff shot, but Moose not only kicked out, she hardly sold it. ODB tried a running powerslam on a chair, but Moose got out. ODB missed a shoulder block, and Moose got the pin with the Cactus Jack double arm DDT on a chair. *3/4

A promo package detailing the recent European tour aired, which did an effective job in making the company seem like it’s broadening its horizons.

Booker T defeated Kevin Nash. Nash has a new physique again. Joe came out early to watch from ringside. Tenay wondered if Nash could teach Joe any lessons. If he’s looking to learn stationary offense and poorly timed boots to the face, the answer is yes. Nash got the majority of the offense, including ramming him into the post and his back to the apron outside the ring. Booker crotched Nash as he was climbing over the top rope back into the ring. Booker demanded Joe give him his chair, but Joe refused. They wound up brawling, where Joe took a chair shot. Booker then hit Nash with the chair while Earl Hebner just watched. Evidently this was a no DQ match, which was never explained. Joe got back in the ring for a comeback and tried to kick Booker, but he caught Nash instead. Booker threw Joe out of the ring. Booker pinned Joe. Nash and Joe then had to be pulled apart by security while Booker just laughed. *

SUMMARY: The first hour of this show was one of the best paced Impacts in a long time. It didn’t overwhelm the viewer with angles. It was actually an hour where you didn’t need to take notes to keep track of everything. The second hour was just the opposite. It did an okay job of building up Joe-Nash, though it didn’t help Joe to look like a fool in the main event.

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