Coughlin's Strikeforce Report
Live Strikeforce Notes
By: Mike Coughlin
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Howdy all, it's me, Mike Coughlin, your wonderful formatter of greatness! Dave's doing the notes everyone wants to read, but I'm here in San Jose and thought I'd earn my keep. The format is as always: quick results are immediately below and underneath that are my random thoughts and pseudo play by play. Obviously I intended for this to go up as the show ran, but a poor internet connection in the arena prevented me from doing so. A day late, a dollar short, but it's still here!
QUICK RESULTS
UNDERCARD
Shingo Kohara d. Jeremy Tavarez (R2, KO)
James Terry d. Zac Bucia (DEC, boring as death)
Raul Castillo d. Brandon Michaels (R1, submission, rear naked choke)
Eric Lawson d. Waylon Kennell (R1, GnP - awesome fight)
Luke Rockhold d. Buck Meredith (R1, submission, choke)
MAIN CARD
Brett Rogers d. Abongo Humphrey (R2, KO - great fight)
Cris “Cyborg” Santos d. Hitomi Akano (R3, KO)
Scott Smith d. Benji Radach (R3, KO - awesome slugfest)
Gilbert Melendez d. Rodrigo Damm (R2, KO - Melendez becomes Interim Strikeforce Lightweight Champion)
Nick Diaz d. Frank Shamrock (R2, TKO, referee stoppage due to ground and pound)
**Mike's Rantings**
**UNDERCARD**
1) Jeremy Tavares v. Shingo Kohara
- Two nameless dudes who're each kinda over because they're local.
- Jeremy is looking to make this a ground battle. For his troubles, he's almost armbarred. Twice. Weak. He may have won the round by being on top and throwing average GnP. Blah round but people cared because they likely literally know both fighters.
- Second round (all 4 seconds of it) was considerably better.
Tavares ran straight at Kohara and fell down unconscious. I'm sure he caught a knee but I'm gonna pretend he just passed out from fright - that'd be more entertaining. No replay yet, so no clue what actually happened. Hmmm, I'm beginning to feel like an ass as Tavarez is still on the ground after a few minutes. … Hey, he's up, so I can go back to mocking.
- They never showed a replay. Not even after it was clear Tavarez was going to live. Weak. (That's twice I've used “weak.”)
2) James Terry v. Zac Bucia
- You'll never believe this, but Bucia is a nondescript white guy with black shorts and short hair. I know, I know! Impossible! He's even got tattoos!
- Terry? Yup, white dude, looks like anyone else. At least he was nice enough to wear white shorts. Black v. White. Good v. Evil. Apathy v. Start the Main Event, Please. When did I become such an asshole? Tuesday. I think it was a Tuesday. At least I said, “please.”
- Terry with an early takedown. Bunch of nothing, a few strikes traded but nothing significant. Another takedown by Terry. Catcalls can be heard from various parts of the arena - all coming from the section where each fighter's school/gym is sitting.
- That's a good gimmick for Strikeforce: fill the undercard with guys from as many gyms as possible, knowing that EVERYONE from that gym is gonna buy a ticket to see, “local boy makes good.” You can probably sell half the arena doing that. In fact, I'll bet they did.
- A fat guy and his two fat friends just walked by talking about how the beer isn't cold. It's a plot from Dana White to use his Budweiser contacts to ruin Strikeforce. What a faggot.
- Round sucked. What you read before was all that happened: Terry with takedowns, hold, nothing.
- Hi, Rohebilius (bad spelling). Nice to meet you earlier. Second round begins with 90 seconds of two men pretending like they're gonna throw punches but not doing it. Then Terry got a takedown. I'll bet he does nothing. The Universe bets he'll do a cartwheel pass into a leg lock. My life is all that is at stake.
- Bucia tried an armbar but Terry slammed him out of it. Terry's doing nothing even though he's in side control.
- It'd be worth losing my life to see that cartwheel - this sucks, hard. I'm gonna guess the third round sucks too. Big John is the ref. I'll bet he wonders why he came out of retirement.
- I've just watched 120 seconds of ballet. Tito's head passed by. A, “Tito has a big head” joke. Original and witty, that I am.
- TERRY WITH A TAKEDOWN, WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING?!?!
- That's it. The entire round was two guys pretending like they were gonna punch each other, a takedown, then a hold. fmylife.com
- Terry wins. 30-27, 30-27, 30-27. - Most entertaining thing was the ring announcers accidentally reading Bucia as the winner. Awesome. Somewhere, Bas Rutten would've been proud.
3) Raul Castillo v. Brandon Michaels
- Michaels is a bald white dude, tats, kinda flabby, farmer's tan. Really. Castillo is the same, with hair, and a better build. He also doesn't have the farmer's tan.
- I was watching Last Dragon the other night and have come to the conclusion that some black fighter needs to have a MASSIVE afro. I'm thinking Rashad Evans.
- Aggressive takedown by Castillo highlights the early portion of round one. A mount, ground and pound, back given up, and rear naked choke leading to a tapout highlights the rest of the round.
Castillo wins by rear naked choke.
4) Eric Lawson v. Waylon Kennell
- For his sake, I really had hoped “Waylon” was a typo. It wasn't. His parents hate him.
- First round was nothing short of awesome. Both guys swung for the fences and really beat the crap out of one another. With 30 seconds remaining, Wayland locked in an armbar and how Lawson survived is a total fucking mystery.
Lawson then mounted Waylon and pounded him until Big John stopped it with 5 seconds to go. Seriously, this may have been round of the year and just about the best 5 minute fight you'll ever see.
- Alistair Overeem is in attendance. Sweet crap he's big. I'm not exaggerating when I say it looks like his arm is bigger than his head.
5) Luke Rockhold v. Buck Meredith
- Rockhold took Meredith down, got his back, tried a rear naked choke, then finally got the tap with a kind of modified side-choke. Solid performance.
Rockhold wins by submission.They had a moment of silence for “Mask” before the show went forward.
**MAIN CARD**
6) Brett Rogers v. “Abongo” Humphrey
- Abongo's speed is giving Rogers trouble but Rogers' power is carrying him. You can tell Abongo does not want any part of standing in front of Rogers for too long. Herb Dean has given Rogers two warnings for fingers in the eye (I think - might've been a hair pull). Uh-oh... Rogers had Abongo in trouble, but Herb jumped in and stopped the action! He saw another finger in the eye and has taken a point away from Rogers. A really good round with plenty of back and forth action.
- Rogers beat the holy living mother shit out of Abongo in the 2nd. It was Anderson Silva v. Rich Franklin all over again, just one knee after another. Surprised Herb Dean let it go that long as you could've stopped it earlier without any problems.
Rogers killed Abongo. If this isn't fight of the night, this show is gonna be incredible.
- Hey, it WAS for hair pulling. I think it was a conspiracy amongst long-haired black men. Lotsa conspiracies tonight.
7) Cris Santos v. Hitomi Akano
- If you ever want more proof of the bullshit that is weight cutting, just look at this fight. Poor Akano is asked to bulk up to 145 and then Santos doesn't even come close to making weight. There's probably a natural 20-25 lb weight difference here.
- They're next to each other. This is a joke. GO AKANO GO! It's the female version of Wanderlei Silva v. Kazushi Sakuraba – except this is 2009 and an athletic commission signed off on this abomination... and I think Mrs. Cyborg is meaner than Silva.
- Cyborg-ette is murdering this poor woman. This looks like a mugging. GOOD GOSH SHE JUST THREW HER AROUND LIKE A LITERAL RAGDOLL WITH A GERMAN SUPLEX! C'mon, Akano, you can do it!
- Another throw by Cyborgia. I feel for Akano. Imagine being a Judoka and being tossed like it was nothing simply because your opponent recently had both her balls removed, thus letting her qualify as a “woman.”
- Round two. Sigh. Let it be over quick. It wasn't. More uncomfortable beating.
- Lady Deathstrike and Gina Carano are gonna do billions of dollars in business. Madam Cyborg looks like SUCH a beastly monster. These feel like 10-3 rounds.
- Akano is flopping ot her back and people are booing. FUCK YOU PEOPLE! What the fuck do you want her to do? Ref finally stopped it.
Just a glorified murder on TV with Cyborg ending the night of Akano. But, the goal was to build Santos up as an unstoppable killer and this sure as hell did that.
8) Scott Smith v. Benji Radach
- Incredible back and forth slugging from both guys. Each fighter took some really hard shots. Just awesome to watch. GREAT round. Hard to say it's the best round of the night, but it easily could've been. AWESOME!
- HUGE punch from Benji hurts Smith in the 2nd. Smith is trying to hold on for dear life. Guillotine choke from Radach looks deep but Smith fights out of it. Smith is stalling by holding onto a single leg. Herb Dean finally separates the two but I think Smith has gotten his bearings underneath himself now. Maybe not, as Radach lands a few crisp jabs. Crowd is pissed as I think they sensed a finish and feel cheated out of it, but credit to Smith for doing what he had to in order to live. Not nearly the barn burner the first round was but it'll do.
- Smith lands a big left hook that Hurts Radach, but Benji comes back and now Smith is in trouble. Three minutes to go and people want fireworks.
- HOLY SHIT THEY JUST GOT THE FUCKING FOURTH OF JULY! Scott Smith dropped - and I mean dropped like an angel falling from heaven drops - Radach with a punch. A gigantic punch and a fantastic ending to a great fight.
Scott Smith KOs Benji Radach!- All three judges had Smith losing both rounds prior to the KO. Between this and his fight against Pete Sell, Smith is making a career out of one punch come from behind victories.
- 15,211 in attendance tonight.
9) Gilbert Melendez v. Rodrigo Damm- A right hand from Gilbert drops Damm right away. Most of the round spent with Melendez inside Damm's guard. Occasionally, El Nino would pop up and throw a good right hand, but it was mostly a conservative approach - a recognition that this is a 5 round fight.
- Hmmm, both men kind of walking around to start the second round. I wonder if anything will - HOLY GOSH MELENDEZ DROPS DAMM WITH A PUNCH! A few more shots on the ground and that's all she wrote.
Gilbert Melendez KOs Rodrigo Damm. Melendez is new Interim Lightweight Champion.- Melendez and Josh Thomson are now all set to rematch and “unify” the titles at a later date. I kind of understand why they had an interim championship on this show (mostly because they advertised a title fight, I imagine) but I'm not a big fan of it. I think interim titles should only be created when you're unsure of when the champion will return or if the champions return looks like it'll take an extraordinarily long time. Thomson is going to be recovered in a month or three - not a year - so what's the deal? Oh well. The rematch will be fun, nonetheless.
10) Frank Shamrock v. Nick Diaz
- Frank Shamrock is the John Cena of MMA. The guy gets a perplexing mix of boos and cheers and both sides are VEHEMENT in their feelings. He absolutely has a charisma that is almost untouchable.
- Big John is ref. Nick is my call. In fact, I even placed the legendary Five Star Lock on Nick winning. He hasn't failed me before.
- “DIAZ” chant.
- Punch by Diaz looks like it dropped Frank but may have been more of Frank being off balance. Mount by Nick. He's got 20 seconds to work. He pounds Frank to close out the round. Place is coming unglued! Round felt more exciting than it was due to the personalities involved, but still (Rodrigo) damn fun.
- Frank simply can't deal with Nick's reach. He can't get inside at all and is getting tagged. It's Nick's style, the one that looks like it doesn't hurt people until you see the other guy standing there (like Frank is right now) and he's bloody and looks like hell. The very definition of accumulation of damage.
- Nick's hitting Frank at will.
- IT'S ALL OVER! NICK DROPS FRANK WITH A BODY SHOT AND GROUND AND POUNDS HIM TO A FINISH!!!- Nick absolutely toyed with Frank. Frank didn't look good at all in this. Against Cung Le, Frank may have lost but he put up a fight. In this, Frank looked like an old man that was washed up.
