Sunday, 07 June 2009 10:06
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Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Matt Hardy vs. William Regal for the US Title is opening the show.
Disappointing opener with a lot of botched spots. Kofi pinned Regal with his wacky kick for the pin, which also looked botched. Match wasn't horrible and there was some good stuff in it, but it was also terrible rushed.
Jericho vs. Rey for the IC Title. They did the perfect finish for the match, that being Rey going for the 619, Jericho unmasking him in mid-move, then pinning him as Rey covered up his face to protect his identity. Great finish to a really good match, filled with cool spots and even some lucha. Jericho new champ.
Big Dave did a promo outraged about what Orton had done to Flair, and vowed to win the title tonight, destroy Orton, and then destroy Legacy.
Umaga vs. Punk in the strap match up now. They have a graphic on the screen to alert us as to who has touched which corners. That's the good news. Bad news is, apparently it's super hard to update as it's about 20 seconds behind at all times, which makes it beyond useless. They finally fixed it. Match was what you'd expect, that being not too good due to the stips. Finish was cool with Punk touching three corners, and as Umaga tried to prevent him from hitting the fourth he hoisted him up into the GTS and then fell into the fourth buckle for the win.
Christian vs. Dreamer vs. Swagger is up now. Dreamer won the title after wacking Swagger with a crutch and then hitting the DDT for the pin. So his career continues and presumably Christian takes exception to the fact that he lost the title without being pinned. Dreamer sold the win great and celebrated in the ring with his fans.
Santina vs. Vickie in a hog pen match. This should suck. It did. Fucking horrendous. Chavo was added to the match. He tried to throw slop at Santina but hit Vickie instead, then Santina rolled her up for the pin and the Miss WrestleMania title. This was like the worst thing I've seen in ages. I refuse to do the math to determine how much I paid for this, but I demand a refund.
Dave vs. Batista in a cage match. Dave just won the title clean with the powerbomb in the middle of the ring. This was shorter than you'd think, but all action and they worked a pretty solid pace. I presume the reason it went shorter than you'd think is because it's already 10 EST and they have two matches left, including the ladder match which should get a lot of time.
Show vs. Cena in a submission match. I submit. Unfortunately, the match still began. This match needs to end like right now. It has been going on forever, it's the same match we see every time just without pinfalls, and every additional minute is a minute off the ladder match. Less than a half hour of TV time left as of right now and this match looks no closer to a finish. IT'S STILL GOING. It's finally over. My God this sucked. And get this finish. Cena pulled his foot under the bottom rope and then bent it and hooked it on the middle rope -- the F part of the STF. He then put him in a facelock for the submission. The best part -- besides the fact that he got a submission while the guy was IN THE ROPES -- was the fact that Show's foot slipped out and so Show just kept it bent to pretend it was still in there. Match dragged the show to a screeching halt, plus it leaves us with like 15 minutes for main event ladder match.
Edge vs. Hardy in a ladder match. It started at 10:31 EST, so 12 minutes before they normally go off the air. Jeff won the title in 21 minutes. Very good match, probably not a classic. They did some stuff that was probably a little too dangerous, such as both guys bumping off a ladder outside and going through a ladder bridge to the floor. Finish was great, as Jeff yanked Edge's whole body in between two of the rungs so he was basically crucified in the ladder, then climbed up and won.
BUT WAIT, there's more. Punk just cashed in the briefcase and pinned Jeff after two GTS's. Very mixed reaction as there were people going nuts when he came out, but also a lot of boos from other fans. So Punk is the new champion.