By: Todd Martin

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Date: 09/21/09 from Little Rock, AR.

The Big News: Cedric the Entertainer was on Raw! Also, there were some wrestling angles and stuff.

Show Analysis:

The Bella Twins (who are apparently now Raw regulars despite being traded to ECW a few months ago) and Cedric the Entertainer arrived in a limousine to start Raw. A bunch of random people came out of the limousine including a football team, old woman, rabbi and goat. It was meant as comedy but didn’t do anything for me.

DX came out to start the show. They said that they will be wrestling Legacy in a Hell in a Cell match at, well, Hell in a Cell. They then pointed out that Shawn Michaels won the first Hell in a Cell and HHH has won the most Hell in a Cell matches of anyone. They added that Legacy has never competed in the Cell. DX promised Legacy the beatings of their lives and that the feud will come to an end. This was a good promo.

Triple H beat Cody Rhodes via DQ. HHH sent Cody into the post early and applied the crossface. Cody gained control and beat down HHH. On the outside of the ring, Legacy dropped Shawn Michaels on the announce table and they did a high/low on Michaels. Back in the ring, HHH went for the pedigree on Cody but DiBiase hit HHH with a chair for the disqualification. DiBiase hit HHH in the head with a chair and looked to break his neck with the chair but Michaels made the save with a sledgehammer. This feud to me is the best thing on Raw right now. It’s also become a genuine attempt to elevate Legacy, which I’m very happy about.

Cedric the Entertainer came out to very little reaction. Michael Cole labeled this a “standing ovation.” Cedric said he’s a wrestling fan and told some awful jokes. The announcers did their off-the-charts irritating and condescending fake laughter. Santino came out and told a crappy joke of his own. Chavo Guerrero then came out and challenged Cedric to a match. Santino accepted for Cedric.

The Miz beat Evan Bourne clean. Before the match Miz had the United States Title and said he’s more like a champion than Kofi Kingston ever has been. Kingston laid him out and took back the title. Miz crotched Bourne and followed with a neck breaker, knee lift and double chicken wing. Bourne crotched Miz on the top rope and followed with a top rope huracanrana. Bourne went for a shooting star but Miz moved out of the way. Bourne compensated and landed on his feet, but Miz then hit the skull crushing finale for the pin.

Jerry Lawler hosted a contract signing for John Cena and Randy Orton’s Hell in a Cell match. Earlier, Orton had told Legacy they had the night off and he’d handle the contract signing himself. Lawler said that there was a no physicality rule for the evening. Cena was smiling, goofing around, mugging for the camera and generally just making the whole thing seem like a joke.

Orton signed the contract and told Lawler to leave. Orton said that he has never been more dangerous. He noted that he has been in a Hell in a Cell match and Cena hasn’t. Orton concluded that he knows what to expect from the match and what it takes to win.

Cena responded with one of his goofy, obnoxious promos. He played footage of Orton submitting and made a bunch of goofy faces to imitate Orton for comedy. He laughed at the idea he would be intimidated by Orton. He said Orton should be worried because he doesn’t know what Cena is capable of. Cena said he would destroy Orton. Orton then said he found two men who would put Cena through hell. Chris Jericho and Big Show attacked Cena. Mark Henry and MVP made the save. Cedric made a 6 man tag main event.

Beth Phoenix beat Mickie James in literally right around a minute. Alicia Fox was at ringside. Mickie avoided a slingshot suplex and hit a neck breaker and Thesz press off the top rope to the floor. Alicia distracted her allowing Beth to send her into the post and hit the glam slam for the pin. Alicia gave Mickie an ax kick after the match. To recap, they decided to build a title match by having someone other than the challenger pin the champion in 60 seconds.

Kofi Kingston beat Jack Swagger via count out in a US title match. If you thought the booking of the women’s title program was bad, this was amazingly much worse. Miz ran out about 25 seconds into the match and stole the US title again. Swagger then attacked Miz and took back the title. Rather than returning to the ring for his title match, Swagger then proceeded to leave with the title himself and be counted out. So officially the US title is nothing more than a prop and having possession of the strap is more important than actually winning the championship. Whoever came up with this idea shouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of a booking meeting for a pro wrestling company ever again.

It was quite the run of matches here, as next up was Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric the Entertainer. And it went longer than the two previous matches combined. Santino was the referee. Cedric came out in a cape and mask. He went under the ring and a much larger and well built man in a cape and mask came back out. That imposter Cedric laid out Chavo and went back under the ring. Hornswoggle came out from under the ring in a cape and mask and gave Chavo the frog splash. He went back under the ring and the real Cedric came back out and covered for the pin. Cedric, Imposter Cedric and Hornswoggle then danced together. Utter crap.

They announced Rev. Al Sharpton as guest host next week. That has the potential to be perversely entertaining. Backstage, Chris Jericho and Big Show wanted to speak with Cedric the Entertainer.

Jerry Lawler thanked Lillian Garcia for ten years of service and said she is the diva of the decade. They let Lillian give a goodbye speech in the ring. She was immediately crying and put over what a privilege it has been to work for WWE and that her heart will always be with the WWE fans. This clearly meant a lot to her. Michael Cole then immediately cut to plugging the main event. This felt like a grudging tribute, but Lillian made it feel special anyway.

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho and Big Show beat MVP, Mark Henry and John Cena. Prior to the match Jericho said that if the faces won Orton would have to wrestle Cena, MVP and Henry in a gauntlet match next week but that if the heels won Cena would have to wrestle Orton, Jericho and Show in a gauntlet match. The heels worked over Cena. He got the hot tag to MVP who hit balling on Jericho but was cut off by a Show head butt. They worked over MVP. He eventually got the tag to Henry (I’m getting kind of sick of WWE formula tag matches), who gave Orton head butts. Cena threw Show over the top, but Orton then hit the RKO on Henry for the pin.

Final Thoughts:

I didn’t care for this show much. It had a lot more segments that aggravated me than the past few weeks. I’ve officially turned on the guest host concept. I liked it as an idea at first but I’ve grown sick of it. It would be fine if the guest hosts were used to complement the general product, but instead they’re treated as the stars of the show. That’s okay if it’s someone like Shaquille O’Neal or Bob Barker, but it’s annoying with B-list and C-list celebrities like Cedric the Entertainer. If I wanted to watch comedy with revolving celebrities, I’d watch Jay Leno. If I watch a wrestling show, I want wrestling. The focus should be matches and interviews and angles.

Watching WWE’s Best of Smackdown DVD over the weekend it was obvious that WWE now more than ever views itself as this goofy comedy show where the highlights are the most ridiculous and bizarre segments the creative team can come up with rather than the stuff that actually resonates with fans. Likewise, these guest host segments have become masturbatory exercises for the company, an opportunity to feel accepted as “legitimate” (read: better than rasslin’) entertainment. I wish they would just be proud to be pro wrestling again.