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| TNA Impact TV report |
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10.1 TNA Impact By Jeff Hamlin ( This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it ) The Big News: It appears the direction they’re going in is Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe as Joe did a run-in choking out Lashley after the main event. Also, the relationship between the World Elite and the Main Event Mafia is officially done, and the Beautiful People has a new member, but it isn’t an improvement. Abyss started the show with an in-ring interview. Ordinarily, that would be about as promising a start to a report as a movie marketing campaign advertising, “From the makers of Mannequin 2.” Despite that, it was actually a fine segment, though trying to turn Mick Foley heel nowadays is like your great-grandfather aiming desperately for heat. He called out Mick Foley demanding answers. Foley, who came out with security and a bared-wire baseball bat wearing a tie-dyed peace t-shirt, basically did a promo that put everyone else to shame in the entire industry. Well, for another 22 hours at least. He said he didn’t own Abyss any answers for anything after 24 years in the industry, and Abyss emulating his career after his. Abyss explained that he was only trying to help Foley against Kevin Nash during the No Surrender PPV, and he knocked the picture of Foley and Jeremy Borash down when he picked up the barded wire bat. Then how come it was torn? Foley shot back that he doesn’t need Abyss to save him because hw (calling him Chris Parks again) wasn’t there when he was getting thrown off the cage against the Undertaker or when he lost his ear in Germany against Vader. Abyss actually almost upstaged him on the mic, saying the only reason why he was in this business because of Foley. It was some of the best mic work of Abyss’ career, but unfortunately you could see people going to the popcorn stand as he was delivering the promo. Foley pulled out a replacement picture of he and Boarsh and said it was a replica, not the real thing. He compared the picture to Abyss, saying they were both copies, except Abyss was nothing more than a cheap, low-rent Mick Foley wannabe. Then Foley hit Abyss over the head with the picture, which elicited some legit heat. Abyss recovered and charged after Foley, cleaning house on the three security members in the process, one of whom took a choke slam on the ramp. Abyss was screaming backstage and Lauren tried to calm him down. Lauren asked tha someone else cover her on doing interviews while she attended to him. 1. Amazing Red won a ladder match to earn an X-Division title shot next week against Samoa Joe in a bout that also included Black Machismo, Consequences Creed, Kiyoshi and Sheik Abdul Bashir in 3:57. Story was Amazing Red was on his own while two opposing tag teams were joining each other to fight one another. Red brought the ladder in right away while the two tag teams fought and did a float over armdrag and a huracanrana on Black Machismo while springing off the second rope. Red knocked Sheik Abdul Bashir and Kiyoshi both down with a dropkick. In the midst of the match, they cut to the back where Abyss was grabbing stagehands demanding to know where Foley was. It’s like Vince Russo can’t go more than two minutes of wrestling without someone running in, bringing in a weapon or cutting to an angle we won’t remember tomorrow. Consequences Creed did a flying facebuster on Red while he was standing on the fourth rung of the ladder. Bashir did the emerald erosion on Creed, but Machismo did a dropkick on Bashir to knock him out of the ring. Machismo climbed up the ladder, while Red tilted it over. Red came back in to clean house on everyone, including giving a flying downward spiral on Machismo. Weird finish as Red gave Creed what appeared to be a huracanarana attempt, but Creed’s face went right into the canvas. Creed came up blowing chunks, and it grossed the crowd out. While the crowd largely silent, Red then went to the top of the ladder and grabbed the clipboard out of nowhere to win. **1/4 Borash came out to interview Red over the win. Machismo was mad about Red winning, and called him “The Red Rooster.” Taz worked in an inside joke about how great the Rooster once was. Dr. Stevie and Daffney were interviewed by Borash about whether they had talked with Foley recently. Stevie largely denied any involvement, then vowed to get his money back from Kevin Nash tonight. Kevin Nash defeated Dr. Stevie in 2:53. After an early distraction from Daffney, Stevie threw mostly kicks and punches from the mount. Stevie had Nash in the cobra clutch, which was called general anesthesia. That’s right up there with the blarneystone piledriver in terms of lamest move names in recorded wrestling history. Stevie grabbed a riding crop from Daffney, but Nash blocked it with a big boot. The crop fell right in front of the referee, and no DQ. Remember when the refs were supposed to have more power? Nash got the pin with the jackknife. ½* Eric Young led the World Elite into the Main Event Mafia dressing room, where he confronted Kurt Angle. Young demanded an apology from Angle for throwing him into the carbon footprint from Matt Morgan. Angle refused to apologize, and Booker T got in Young’s face. Young, who may have turned himself babyface with the following statement, basically told Booker he wanted to talk to the horse’s head, not the horse’s ass. Booker didn’t take too kindly to that, but Young couldn’t have done more to make himself a true group leader. Both groups nearly came to blows. Young left, but said he would show Angle how it’s done tonight against Matt Morgan. Angle reminded the rest of the mafia to keep their mind on the big picture. Christy Hemme defeated Traci Brooks in a battle of Playboy models in 1:57. Both Christy Hemme and Traci Brooks came out in Playboy model gear (rabbit ears, pink Playboy tank tops, etc.). Mike Tenay made it clear this segment was nothing more than a Playboy product placement, wisely showing Brooks in the Playboy Cyber Club. Tenay dedicated the match to Hugh Heffner. Hopefully, Heff wasn’t watching, because his divorce will likely be less painful. Brooks threw double knees to Hemme’s back. Hemme missed the FFG, but got the pin with a sunset flip out of the corner. Why did the Playboy model who recently posed do the job? Brooks gave Hemme a bareback in the postmatch. ¼* Abyss found Foley backstage, but Abyss was already down by the time that cut backstage, and Foley was unloaded with baseball bat shots to the back. Abyss made his own comeback and dumped Foley into a group of speakers, and security had to pull them apart, despite both men breaking free several times. You know when Russo starts booking again, the number of pull-apart brawls surges like the stock market under Clinton. Tenay did a sit-down interview with A.J. Styles and Sting. Styles said he knew what Sting did at No Surrender, essentially giving him the TNA title when Sting opted not to pin Angle, allowing Styles to do it instead. That’s why Styles issued the challenge to Sting for Bound for Glory. Sting, for all of his great interviews over the past few months, pretty much derided the meaning of the world championship in his interview, saying he didn’t even know how many times he had been a world champion. He had done it all, so he didn’t want to be a champion again. Then why should the fans care about who holds the title when the highest-paid in the company doesn’t? Styles basically pointed that out in his response, then said maybe if Sting didn’t want to win at Bound for Glory, perhaps he shouldn’t wrestle. Styles walked away, but in a respectful way, while Sting looked deep in thought. Not much of a segment for building the belt. Tara came out for commentary for the next match. 4. ODB defeated Awesome Kong to retain the TNA Knockouts title in 2:50. Shades of Jerry Lawler and Kamala when ODB kept throwing forearms and Awesome Kong teased falling down, only to deck ODB with one blow. Shades of the Nasty Boys when Kong gave ODB a one-woman pit stop. Taz brought up Tara’s MMA training and her online feud with Kim Couture. Then Raisha Saeed starting bullying Tara, who went to ringside. Kong grabbed Tara by the hair, but Tara gave her a necksnap off the ropes, leading to ODB getting the pin with a sloppy schoolgirl cradle. ½* ODB got mad at Tara. Well, that’s only natural since Tara only helped her win. They started trading some stiff forearms before Kong ran back in and decked both women. Kong gave both ODB and Tara implant busters. Seems to be teasing a three-way at Bound for Glory. 5. Hernandez and Kurt Angle went to a double countout at 4:25. Hernandez gave Angle the pounce period and teased the beal out of the corner with a tank top, but Angle escaped. Hernandez still gave Angle a hanging vertical suplex where he held him up for a good 25 seconds. It’s nothing compared to what Kenta Kobashi used to do, but Hernandez’ version should be pro-rated under Russo booking. Angle delivered a German suplex shortly afterwards, then went to work on Hernandez’s knee. Angle came off the second rope with a crossbody, but Hernandez caught him and delivered a Liger bomb. Hernandez teased the border toss, but gave him a dominator instead for a two count. Disappointing pop for the kick out because the fans didn’t buy Hernandez was going to win, despite his push for the past month. Well, that and wins and losses don’t matter in TNA. Angle rolled out of the ring, and Hernandez followed him out for the double countout. The World Elite then ran out from backstage and attacked both Angle and Hernandez. **1/4 Once they got backstage, Young kicked Hernandez low. He was about to do the same thing to Angle when Samoa Joe led the charge from the mafia with a right hand to Young, and it ended with yet another pull-apart brawl. So Cal Val was backstage with the Motor City Machine Guns. Chris Sabin admitted his old entrance music was the worst in history, playing off his old “Hail Sabin” gimmick. Alex Shelley said Sabin’s old music sounded like someone suffered a seizure over a Kaiso keyboard. So next week they show off their new entrance music, hopefully with a new push. Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne came out as the Beautiful People, and it’s clear within seconds how much they miss the presence of Angelina Love. Sky, looking depressed, said that Love is no longer a part of the group because of “contractual issues.” Even the crowd booed, and they’re supposed to be heels. Sky said she wanted to come clean and said she and Rayne weren’t proud of their actions over the past year. She blamed all of their behavior on Angelina. Rayne spoke for the first time, which didn’t help. She said that Love made them do things they didn’t want to do. No one was buying this. They called out Sarita and Taylor Wilde to the ring to wish them well in the tag match between the two teams at Bound for Glory. The two teams shook hands, but the instant Sarita and Wilde turned their backs, Rayne and Sky tried to jump them. Never can have enough swerves. In no time, Wilde and Sarita pinned them to the mat and started whaling away before a blond haired woman jumped the railing. It was Lacey Von Erich, who arrived to provide the biggest indictment yet against Florida Championship Wrestling. She trained for six months minimum, and couldn’t learn how to throw a half-decent clothesline. If that wasn’t enough, she gave Sarita a horrid iron claw, which no one in the crowd even popped for. To say it was a far cry from the World Class days where the Sportatorium crowd would blow the roof off the place for the most unrealistic of finishers would be an understatement. Lacey then did an interview where it was clear that even if Love does return to TNA, it would be to feud with the Beautiful People. It’s fair to say Lacey Von Erich would do for the Beautiful People what Lance Von Erich did for World Class. And that’s not good. Matt Morgan did an interview saying he didn’t care about the friction between the mafia and the elite, he just wanted to take someone out. 6. Matt Morgan defeated Eric Young by DQ in 2:53. I’m not sure how anyone can take Young seriously as the leader of a top heel faction when he comes up to Morgan’s clavicle. The match looked ridiculous even before the finish. Morgan did his usual spots, including a running legdrop against the ropes. That carried him over to the floor where a fan dressed like Abyss clocked him with a chair. The fan unmasked himself as Angle, and the entire mafia ran down to jump Young and Morgan. The World Elite followed for another brawl. This was only the fourth one of the night. * They came back from a commercial and the fight was still going on. It was a pail imitation of the big brawl from last month between the company’s top faces and heels which should have ended that show. Scott D’Amore and Terry Taylor were among the agents trying to break it up. The fighting continued until they abruptly jumped to the back. Team 3-D and Bobby Lashley team tonight against the British Invasion and Rhino. Brother Ray cut a promo on Rhino saying he shouldn’t have trusted him last week. 7. Team 3-D and Bobby Lashley defeated Brutus Magnus, Doug Williams and Rhino in 6:06. Beer Money was at ringside on commentary. During the match, Tenay mentioned Hebner can fine or suspend any member of the Elite or Mafia that comes to ringside and interferes in the match. Why didn’t he do this before the other four run-ins tonight? Brother Ray and Brutus Magnus seem to find a way to work much better together than other opponents Magnus goes against. Lashley gave Doug Williams a sky high backdrop and shock treatment. Brother Dvon got crotched against the post by Rhino. Williams and Magnus gave Dvon the necktie for a two count. Dvon gave Magnus the spinebuster to set up the hot tag to Lashley. Team 3-D gave Rhino the wazzup. Rob Terry distracted referee Earl Hebner for reasons what were never clear. Lashley got the tapout on Williams with a dragon sleeper. **1/4 Postmatch, Team 3-D and Beer Money drank beer together. Lashley, by himself at this point, was choked out by Samoa Joe. SUMMARY: It’s only two weeks into Russo unfiltered, and already it’s getting repetitive. Way too many security pull-aparts and just an overbooked show. This was a slight improvement from last week. |
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