The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.

ECW to be featured on Sci-Fi channel: After Cartoon Network announced Saved by the Bell as part of their programming, I didn't think anything would surprise me. However, this week WWE announced that the returning ECW brand will have a one hour show on the Sci-Fi channel. This is the same channel that has unlimited amounts of Stargate reruns along with Direct-to-Video ready movies like Cube Zero and Bruce Campbell's Alien Apocalypse. Soon the Sci-Fi channel will enter the world of wrestling and when you consider the "unwritten backstage code" along with the booking of WWE lately, I guess it does make sense to be on a channel featuring aliens from Mars. Who knows, maybe we'll see Dr. Who make an appearance and be quickly jobbed out to Tommy Dreamer.

The first ECW show on Sci-Fi will debut on June 13th at 10PM, so set your DVRs now. For the rest of you idiots, like me, who don't have TIVO or DVR, try to remember that date. I can't vouch for that method as I haven't remembered to watch TNA Impact since it moved to Thursday or that many SmackDowns once they went to Friday for that matter. As much as I'm looking forward to ECW coming back, I hope the plan is to focus on developing new guys as I'm not sure Axl Rotten and Danny Doring are going to attract the audience ECW will need to survive. And who knows, if this precedent works maybe the $250,000 'Rat Search will end up on the Game Show Network or the return of the G.L.O.W. on Lifetime. WEI Rating: +1

WrestleMania 22 DVD released: Tuesday afternoon I darted over to my local Best Buy at lunch to pick up the latest WrestleMania 22 DVD. Three discs? The entire Hall of Fame ceremony? The entire Saturday Night's Main Event? You knew I was going to be all over this one. Actually the back of the DVD box calls it the "emotional return" of SNME but the only emotion must have been McMahon and company crying after the Neilsen ratings came on Monday morning. There's a trailer for See No Evil in case you haven't watched any WWE shows in the past two months and missed the approximately 13,000 that aired. I was in Chicago for this show and was in awe of what a great crowd WWE had for its showcase event. The way Chicago fans shit on John Cena was something to behold. The "exclusive" 18 man interpromtional battle royal that comes as an extra isn't anywhere as good as you'd think it might be, although it did remind me that personal favorite Dancin' Stevie Richards was still employed. WEI Rating: + 2

WrestleMania 22 DVD edited: The Internet was abuzz this week when it became apparent that WWE doctored up the WM22 DVD to suit their needs. Everyone watching the show live remembers the moment when Mickie James did the universal hand sign for cunnilingus during her match with  Trish Stratus. Well, that has been removed from the DVD. Also gone is Mickie's botched Stratusfaction attempt. The patented WWE crowd sweetening is even used to lessen the amount of vociferous Cena hating by the crowd. I'll have a much bigger run down of all the changes in next Friday's Gimmick Table over at WrestleCrap, but you won't believe all the little things WWE has done to this event. Look at all these CGI signs put in for Vince McMahon's match.

SCANDALOUS! WEI Rating: - 10

James Guttman's World Wrestling Insanity book finally hits the shelves: This week marked the debut of one highly anticipated book on wrestling, World Wrestling Insanity: The decline and fall of a family empire by James Guttman. You should know whether or not you want this book just by looking at the FIVE STAR cover which has Vince and Stephanie McMahon presenting the world with the Michelangelo version of THY GAME. Guttman cut his teeth in the wrestling world by doing a must-read Raw Insanity recap which is loaded with his trademarked photoshopping skills. Guttman's sarcastic sense of humor and mad skills at manipulating pics are throughout this tome as well, but the book itself is much more than that.

World Wrestling Insanity is not just something that bashes WWE and in fact is far from it. Guttman does expose a lot of the absurdity over the past few years and explains why they happened and how they affected the big picture. If you are looking for a “WWE sucks” book, this might not be for you. However, if you are looking for a book that gets to the point with logic and reasons why the WWE has sucked major ass over the last couple years, than this certainly is the book for you. World Wrestling Insanity has quotes from several wrestling personalities including Terry Funk, Elix Skipper, and Charlie Haas among others to go along with Guttman's commentary. I'll have a full review up soon, but this is one of the books you are going to want to go out of your way to read and is my favorite wrestling book since Death of WCW.

There is also an appendix with several of Guttman's old wrestling columns as a bonus feature and after reading an uproarious parody of the old Abbot and Costello "Who's on First?" bit with Gene Snitsky and Jon Heidenreich I had to steal a line from Mr. Deeds as I think I just shat myself. HIGH recommendation, and I’m not saying that because I’m thanked behind JG's wife and the company putting the book out. I think WWI is a book for any wrestling fan to pick up and would better explain their feelings on the product of the WWE today while putting the frustration almost all of us are going through into a clear and concise manner. Insanity will fit right into any good wrestling library with the likes of Pure Dynamite, Foley's books, Flair's To be the Man, and Funk's More than Just Hardcore. WEI Rating: +2

Kevin Nash buries X-Division on TNA TV: This was one of those deals in wrestling where you knew it was coming, but you still didn't believe the company would actually go through with it. For those of you who don't go to TNA's website or watch Impact you're missing one of the most absurd angles TNA has ever done. Keep in mind this is a company that has had wrestlers dressed up as Giant Penises and a midget masturbating in a trash can. Kevin Nash has become the Cruiserweight Bully, a guy who goes around trash talking the X-Division and then squashing them. This will allegedly set up one match in the future in which Nash "puts over" AJ Styles. Now I love Kevin Nash the person, but this idea is beyond insane and burying the entire division that sets the company apart from being a low rent version of WWE is something my apparently puny brain can not comprehend. WEI Rating: -4

World Wrestling Entertainment has come to terms on the release of WWE Superstar Orlando Jordan. WWE wishes him all the best in his future endeavors: Now we'll never see his time machine or the highly awaited transvestite threesome angle. Where am I going to get my closure? WHERE?! WEI Rating: - 4

Vince McMahon to announce new Raw GM on Monday Night: Leading candidates look to be Candace Michelle (why else would they spend so much time on her in the last f---ing month or so), Eric Bischoff (to generate more heat for ECW since their PPV is coming up), and Dusty Rhodes (has a DVD being released soon). This is WWE though so the actual GM may come completely out of left field and make no sense at all. Should definitely make for an interesting segment though. WEI Rating: + 1

This week's greatest Welcome to Wrestling story: So get this. A year or so ago Frankie Kazarian was part of the WWE machine and was told to cut his hair. Why? Well, in WWE's wisdom they want every single wrestler to look exactly the same. Kazarian realized his long hair actually made him stand out, refused the hair cut and was released. After toiling in TNA and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla obscurity, Kazarian recently had a hair vs. hair match in PWG so that his hair could get cut before going back to WWE on his knees asking for work. As of this writing WWE has yet to take Frankie back. Even if Kazarian is taken back into the fold, expect a Matt Hardy-like burial for having the audacity not to do exactly what they told him to do when they told him to do it. It reminds of that great episode of the Simpsons when Homer has to come crawling back, literally, to his job at the power plant. WEI Rating: - 2

Rob Van Dam challenges John Cena for the WWE championship at One Night Stand 2: Remember, in WWE it's a "championship" not a "title." Seriously. The reasoning for that is explained in Guttman's World Wrestling Insanity book I talked about above. Anyway, after Cena beat Chris Masters in another horrible match, RVD came to the ring and shot a promo which, I think, was about being held down in WWE. Cena then used his Money in the Bank stipulation to challenge Cena for the WWE championship at ECW's One Night Stand 2. What should have been a killer moment on Raw just wasn't. Cena and RVD then went at it, with RVD looking like Cena's bitch until Chris FUCKING Masters helped RVD get the advantage. I'm not sure you could book a dumber way to set up the main event for a PPV. WEI Rating: - 1

Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit injured: The Melt said earlier this week that "WWE.com has reported that Shawn Michaels MRI showed the need for knee surgery, which he will be undergoing shortly. It was expected that he would need surgery, but it is unclear how extensive the surgery would be and how long he will be out of action." Chris Benoit also has some sort of injury and was humbled by Mark Henry on SmackDown this week to set up some time off for him as well. Sucks to be a WWE fan right now. WEI Rating: -5

WWE Wreckless Intent CD released: The WWE released the latest in their never ending series of unlistenable CDs this week with Wreckless Intent Here's the line-up of songs. Maybe I'm just getting old because I've only heard of a couple of these bands: I Walk Alone- Saliva, Burn In My Light- Mercy Drive, Hard Hittin'- Homebwoi, Crank It Up- Brand New Sin, Holla- Desiree Jackson, A Girl Like That- Eleventh Hour, Quien Soy Yo (Who I Am)- Kaballon, Deadly Game- Theory Of A Deadman, I'm Comin'- Silkk The Shocker, Fury Of The Storm- Shadows fall, Some Bodies Gonna Get It- Three 6 Mafia, With Legs Like That- zebrahead, This Fire Burns- Killswitch Engage, Booyaka 619- P.O.D., and Triple H's new King of King song by Moterhead.

God help you if you are into this shit. To be fair though, I remember when WWE started the CD stuff by putting out compilations of their theme songs and I know I just about ran to Best Buy to purchase the first several collections. I don't know what happened over the years, but around volume 4 I just lost any sort of enthusiasm for the CDs. Part of the problem may just be that, for the most part, the themes just aren't that great anymore. There's a couple all time favorites, like Mr. Perfect and Goldust that I will always love though. WEI Rating: - 2

Let's close with a look at three great parody CD covers from James Guttman that goof on Garth Brooks, Nirvana and No Doubt.

SHIMMER tapes vols # 5 and 6: In a marathon taping last week in Berywn, IL (a city a curse the name of, but that's a long story) SHIMMER taped the next two volumes of its buzz-generation wrestling show. Dapper Dave Prazak is the head honcho of SHIMMER and the gimmick is that the company actually presents women's wrestling as something serious, instead of the garbage WWE and TNA give to us every week. Featuring a ton of great indy girls such as Daizee Haze, Lacey, Allison Danger, MsChif, Rain among many others, SHIMMER is a really idea and it is executed perfectly. I've watched volume 1 and volume 2 and give both a huge thumbs up. Volume 3 was released recently and volume 4 should come out any day no. All on DVD and are worth a look. It appeals to people that like good wrestling and also to guys who like watching hot babes. If you do not fall into either one of those categories I honestly have no idea why in God's name you're reading WEI in the first palce. WEI Rating: + 2

***With the Star Wars franchise apparently now behind him, George Lucas has a lot of free time on his hands.  But it didn't have to be that way! Join Sean Carless as he takes a fully animated look at what WWE might have been like had Lucas been hired as head of WWE creative! Just what would George Lucas have in store for WWE? CLICK HERE to find out!

Your Internet Audio update for this week:
The Dr. Keith Show - With special guests Lacey, ROH announcer Bobby Cruz, and James Gutman (he's getting around this week)
The Wrestling Fan Radio - From the mind of Sean Carless~!
James Guttman's Radio Insanity - With guest Christy Hemme
Between the Ropes - Join Brian Fritz, Dickerman and the gang as they talk to Steve Corino and MMA's Quinton Jackson along with discussing all the current wrestling news.

Non Wrestling DVD of the week Boondock Saints Special Edition - A fantastic small film about two brothers who start taking the law into their own hand and a detective (played by William Dafoe) hot on their heels. Billy Connolly, who I remembered from the TV sitcom Head of the Class, plays completely against type as a Russian killer. Just a great little movie that everyone needs to check out.

The Boondock Saints barely got released in theaters, but it's become a cult phenomenon--enough of one to warrant a Special Edition in a fancy metal case. The extras will certainly appeal to hardcore fans, particularly the lengthy deleted scene of Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus naked as they talk to their mother on the phone--a scene that only compounds the movie's schizoid homoeroticism. In addition to a number of shorter deleted scenes, there are a handful of goofy outtakes, the original trailer, filmographies, the complete screenplay, and--most interesting of all--two audio commentaries: A surprisingly down-to-earth and self-effacing one by writer-director Troy Duffy, which makes for a much more interesting listen than the pompous self-congratulation all too common to such commentaries; and one by revered comedian Billy Connolly, who plays hitman Il Duce in the movie. Connolly's musings range widely, taking in not only the making of the movie but also his own life and entertaining philosophical notions. All in all, a modest selection of features, but what's there is worthwhile. -- Amazon.com

And for anyone who enjoys Boondock Saints you must, and I mean YOU MUST get this companion DVD Overnight. Amazon calls it: "The rags-to-riches-to-rags story of Troy Duffy, a blue collar Boston twenty something that struck a dream movie deal with Miramax in 1997 to direct the $15 million project "Boondock Saints" from his own script. It was a deal that received worldwide attention. But when Miramax jumped ship and put the film in turnaround, Duffy's overnight success soon starts to crash and burn." I call it the closest thing to being backstage in wrestling that you are going to see. You'll watch as friends turn on each other, greed overcomes sanity, and see Troy Duffy completely toss his entire career down the toilet.

Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 67
This week's net change: - 8
Current enjoyment level: 59

Special thanks to Keith Lipinski, James Guttman, the Wrestling Fan's Sean Carless, and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.

Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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