The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every PPV is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.

New Jack goes nuts at Pro Wrestling Xplosion show: This past Wednesday, the new promotion Pro Wrestling Xplosion held its debut event at the former ECW Arena in Philadelphia. You'd think an indy "Dream Card" headlined by Steve Corino vs. Teddy Hart and appearances by Homicide, AJ Styles, Team 3-D, and Christopher Daniels among others would be enough to get the fans buzzing. Nope, it took New Jack going crazy to get everyone in a tizzy. Here's what Meltzer wrote on Thursday: In the always fun with New Jack department, he was booked last night on the Pro Wrestling Xplosion debut show in Philadelphia at the Alhambra and ended up being taken out by 25-30 police officers. According to a source within the promotion, he had been drinking. He ordered a sprite at the concession stand and was given a 7 Up, and started cutting a promo on the woman who worked there. A guy who worked on the ring crew and knew the girl, stood up to him, and got punched. This brought out Ronnie Lang, the head of Atlas Security, and promoter of the show. He and New Jack started arguing, and got in each other's face and one report said there was shoving back-and-forth with neither backing down and them being separated. Someone called the police. At one point New Jack locked himself in a room, but he eventually he was taken away. He was not arrested, as the ring crew guy decided against pressing charges. It's highly unlikely he'll be used by the promotion again. It wasn't an angle and took away from the show when all of a sudden all these police officers showed up. Plus, the ring ropes were loose from a problem with the ring they got from CZW and with the ring crew guy hurt, they had to take a 30 minute intermission at one point to fix it.

To be fair, I've always preferred Sprite over 7Up as well, unless it's that remix crap. That said, even for New Jack this is a new low. And locking himself in a room backstage? Is New Jack the newest wrestling Diva? Anyway, the results of the show included "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels defeating Jay Lethal, The SAT & Altar Boy Luke beating Sonjay Dutt & Ruckus & C.A. Elliot, Claudio Castagnoli beat Delirious in a MYSTERY MATCH, Mike Quackenbush & Equinox & Shane Storm defeated Hydra & Ice Cream Man JR & Akuma in a special CHIKARA match, Team 3-D beat Rhino & Abyss after an incredible promo by Bubba, Chris Hero beat Arik Cannon (replacing Davey Richards), Ian Rotten & Amy Lee beat Mana & Mickie Knuckles in a match much better than you'd think (thanks to Rotten and Knuckles beating the holy crap out of each other), A.J. Styles defeated Homicide and Steve Corino beat Teddy Hart. This should be a great DVD, which you can order by Clicking Here! WEI Rating: +1

Trish Stratus' last match with WWE this Sunday at Unforgiven: Trish Stratus was the subject of a story on Sports Illustrated's website. Check it out. I for one will miss Trish Stratus. I remember thinking she was the hottest girls on the planet when I would see her in MuscleMag and then she showed up on Monday Night Raw like a deer caught in the headlights. Trish really grew on me over the years and the MTV Cribs-like tour of her house back when Confidential was on made me fall even farther in love. She is the real deal... a hot, down to Earth, girl who just happened to be a wrestler. The only Diva in the new era to actually learn how to wrestle and remain smokin' hot. Here's hoping McMahon gives Trish and her fans the feel good ending they deserve. WEI Rating: + 1

***The Bryan and Vinny WEIGH IN is now available to watch on YouTube. The Fight of the Century is just about here~!

The highly anticipated ROHbot arm is finally revealed: On the new ROH DVD release War of the Wire 2 the heavily anticipated ROHbot arm was finally revealed to be an onscreen graphic that displays the wrestler's names. The ROHbot arm replaced a fireball that used to go across the screen. Since being mentioned once in a ROH newswire bit, the ROHbot arm took the ROH fandom by storm with many speculating on what it could be. The final result reminded me of WCW in the '90s when WCW Saturday Night started going with a bizarre futuristic opening that included a robotic arm as well. I think that arm went on to build a wrestler that eventually exploded (insert Jeep Swenson joke here). I'm not exactly sure why ROH went through with this because the fireball graphic was pretty neat and it's not like this new graphic is "holy shit is that cool" worthy. WEI Rating: It's a wash

***I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm a big Harry Potter fan. Read all the books and have enjoyed the movies. Came across this hilarious Harry Potter parody over on YouTube. It's done by a British troupe and is long, but worth it. Probably even funnier to people who know the actors involved. Jeremy Irons actually plays Professor Snape and has some great lines. There's also the decently funny parody that Saturday Night Live did with Lindsay Lohen as Hermonie that you can watch by clicking here.

Big TNA PPV next Sunday: Head on over to TNA's website for more info on their upcoming No Surrender PPV. It's headlined by a FAN'S REVENGE match between Jeff Jarrett and Samoa Joe in which fans will play lumberjacks outside the ring. LAX will challenge AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels in what is sure to be a hot match as it is the FIRST EVER tag team Ultimate X match. Sen Shi will also battle Chris Sabin for the TNA X championship. WEI Rating: + 1

***More YouTube goodness as a bunch of Japanese wrestlers destroy a house. Jushin Liger. Tenzan. The late Hashimoto. Kojima. Oh yeah, you'll enjoy this one. Mayhem and destruction... STRONG STYLE~!

***It seems like everyday that WWE comes out with a piece of merchandise that is somehow worse than the last, but this Big Show t-shirt may be the new all time most unwearable product.  The title belts on the front and the quote I love threesomes on the back. Don't ask me why "I'm a fucking clueless idiot" wasn't on the back instead. It even makes the old "Big All Over" shirt Big Show had look like a good idea. Anyway, no sooner should I write this than did I notice the new John Cena shirt. This shirt kinda has a goofy "Go F*** Yourself!" on the front, something that you could never wear outside the house in a million years, but is made even lamer by having a picture of the BROOKLYN BRAWLER'S FACE in the middle of the word F***. I almost feel bad for the poor kids who buy these shirts and get their asses kicked at school. Almost.

Johnny Nitro destroys Jeff Hardy's painting: Raw has had some weird stuff recently, but one of the weirdest came this week during a promo with Melina and Johnny Nitro. While the two were talking, Jeff Hardy came up behind them and brought out a canvas and easel. Hardy then made his own bit of pop art with some blue and yellow paint. To say this was surreal would be an understatement, but it was also tying in with Hardy's comment on last week's Raw that watching Melina/Nitro promos was akin to "watching paint dry." When Nitro realized what was going on, he came over and confronted Hardy. Nitro then kicked Hardy's painting, which caused Jeff to have maybe the greatest reaction of the year when he said, "Hey! That's my painting, man!" The two men then brawled until Jeff covered Nitro in blue and yellow paint. Weird segment that stood out because of Jeff's all time great reaction to seeing his masterpiece kicked to the curb. WEI Rating: + 1

Jimmy Jacobs has new music video: Over on the newly revamped ROHwrestling.com, Jimmy Jacobs has another music video. WEI readers will remember how much I loved the first Jacobs video The Ballad of Lacey (you can read more about that in my review of ROH's Milestone Series). The new song is a step down from the first, and starts off on a really weird note when Jacobs starts talking about finding Lacey screwing Colt Cabana, but it does make for a neat video. Jacobs writes his initials in the sand along with an "L" for Lacey, sings next to his own tombstone, and even jumps off a pier to show how heartbroken he is. Gets some points for originality in the visuals, but the lyrics are a far cry from the original Ballad. WEI Rating: + 1

Big thanks to the guys at The Sinking Ship for the screen caps. Good news for those of you thinking of picking up the Sinking Ship book as it is going down in price come October 1st.

Jeff Gorman has a BOOK SIGNING next Saturday: Jeff Gorman, former ROH ring announcer and author of the book This Side of the Mic has scheduled a book signing at the Learned Owl book shop in Hudson, Ohio. You can write This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it for more details. Eventually I'll actually finish my review of Jeff's book as well. WEI Rating: + 1

***Have you ever read Harry Simon's 50 Dumbest Wrestling Moments Ever? If not, you have to check these out now. Take Simon's hilarious writing and true-life examples, mix them with the incomparable Sean Carless' incredible art and you have one awesome series of articles. Check out part ONE, part TWO, and part THREE and be prepared to laugh your ass off. Here's one of my personal favorites that deal with everyone's favorite Head of Creative. STEPHANIE REMEMBERS…

Wrestlers have fans. Wrestling writers have supporters. Wrestling divas have stalkers. But “wrestler”/“writer”/”diva” Stephanie McMahon only has apologists. One of the minds that will inherit the WWE laid her ignorance bare for all the world to see on the infamous 9/13/01 Smackdown.

Vince came under fire for even DOING a live Smackdown two days after 9/11 in the first place. We squirmed in our chairs when Vince proudly barked that the show was “the largest public gathering of any kind” after the greatest tragedy our country had ever seen. We looked at our shoes when future WWE champion Bradshaw said that anyone who criticized them for doing the show could “go to hell,” then basically cut a promo in support of genocide. But when it was when Stephanie had her close-up that wrestling’s richest bimbo had her definitive moment.

Stephanie actually compared the terrorist attack on the U.S. to when the U.S. Federal Government went after her daddy on steroid charges. She whined, “They said bad things about my family, but we became stronger.” Obviously, no one in the company would admit that Skankanie’s mind-bogglingly insensitive remarks were a very, very bad idea. However, when clips of the special SD were replayed on their weekend shows, all traces of Steph’s rant were wiped from existence. Even O.J. Simpson TRIED to hide the bloody glove.

One wrestling newsletter accurately decried Stephanie’s comments as “the most tasteless comments ever made on a pro wrestling program.” Screechy’s rant was the first sign that her insecure, unthinking ass isn’t fit to write down a phone number, let alone be head writer for a wrestling company. Big Steph has been unsuccessfully trying to live this moment down ever since.

Two new Wrestling DVDs coming out: Fans of women in wrestling have some new DVDs to look forward to including the Very Best of G.L.O.W. volume 2. I reviewed Volume 1 a little while ago and got to relive a bit of my past as these DVDs are like a time warp back to the '80s. Meanwhile, there is also the new TNA Knockouts disc featuring babes such as Christy Hemme and Tracy Brooks. WEI Rating: + 1

***Speaking of Hemme, did you know she had a hernia operation recently? Yep, over on Christy's MySpace page she wrote the following: So... maybe I should have mentioned it, but I hate admitting I'm sick, hurt or injured. I didn't want anyone to worry. I guess I just like to believe I'm invincible, but my body would like to argue... and that's what it did, lol. Ive been pushing my body for years. I knew a while ago that I had a hernia in my stomach and just kinda put up with it. With all the wrestling and training I've been doing, I could feel it getting worse, and thought Id get it fixed before I burst. I had a successful surgery 2-weeks ago. When the doc went in, they were running up and down the middle of my abdomen. So he stitched me back up and when I'm finished healing (6 weeks), I'll be better than new! I hate layin on the couch, but that's pretty much all I've been doing. Last week I still went to Florida to tape 3 shows, and I squeezed out every ounce of energy I had.

As many of you know, I also had a hernia surgery about a month ago and have been for the most part resting. That is, if you call moving from New Hampshire to Florida and interviewing for jobs "resting." You know what I hate most about moving to a new area? Figuring out all the god damn TV stations all over again.

WWE makes everything OLD new again: This week WWE.com broke the following news: WWE will be utilizing three ring veterans to help younger talent develop their skills in the ring. Rodney Mack, Marty Jannetty and Brad Armstrong have been chosen to work with WWE over the next several months. In addition to working with the younger talent, Mack, Jannetty and Armstrong may also have the opportunity to join WWE fulltime, according to officials. AND there was a mobile alert that stated Former World Tag Team Champion Henry Godwinn has re-signed with WWE. Check WWE.com for more details on Godwinn's return to WWE.

I can't believe Jannetty is coming back after laughing during his Kiss My Ass Club segment with Vince McMahon and in general being a total screw up for the last decade. Now Jannetty is going to be teaching his bad habits to the new generation? Dear Lord! Armstrong could be a great hand in the ring and was also the legendary Arachnaman in WCW. But Armstrong in ECW? I'm not sure about that. Godwinn and Mack? I don't even know what to say. They aren't WTF type signings, like Jannetty, but what are they going to do? How can they teach new guys how to succeed in WWE when even they couldn't do that? WEI Rating: - 5

***Speaking of Jannetty, I can finally put out one of my favorite pictures, Shawn Michaels super kicking Marty Jannetty in Brutus Beefcake's barbershop done in Curtain Jerkers style~! I'm hoping that now I'll finally have more time to work with the staff of Ring Ratz Productions to produce more Curtain Jerkers strips in 2007. During my drive down to Florida I stopped in some sort of Walgreens or something and saw some of the most amazing wrestling figures. Boogeyman. The Fabulous Freebirds. Bruno Sammartino. Trevor Murdoch. Then there were the TNA figures with Christopher Daniels, Scott Steiner, and Jeff Jarrett. I was in heaven. Then I saw online the complete set of figures for ROCKY set. It was enough to bring a tear to my eye.

***Ever want to manage some TNA stars like the James Gang or Shark Boy? You know you do. Then head on over to eBay and check out Hermie Sadler's auctions for the Capitol Punishment show on September 29th. You know, being able to hang around LAX for a bit might actually be worth it.

Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli, the Kings of Wrestling, win the ROH Tag Team titles: In sort of a shocker, Chris Hero and his partner Claudio Castagnoli beat Austin Aries and Roderick Strong on Saturday night to win the ROH tag team titles. Shocking because it is well known that ROH booker Gabe Sapolsky seemed to have legit heat with Chris Hero. Yes, Hero was a centerpiece of the ROH/CZW war, but that whole angle only came about because Bryan Danielson and Hero worked together on their match and the insane crowd reactions all but forced ROH to make some sort of angle out of it. Personally, I love Chris Hero and would be shocked if Castagnoli isn't in the WWE this time next year. This should be one hell of a match to see as the combination of Aries and Strong might have been my favorite tag team in wrestling. Huzzah! WEI Rating: + 2

***Check this out before it is pulled, the Von Erichs on the George Michael Sports Machine. A great segment right before the shit hit the fan.

***This is my favorite link of the week. A short film made by Matt Parker and Trey Stone (South Park's creators) that is a "training film" for Universal Studios. Just a scathingly funny short film that features cameos from A-lister's such as Stephen Spielberg, Sylvester Stallone, Demi Moore, and Jeffrey Katzenberg. Just absolutely brilliant stuff.

***Who knew? Dr. Keith Lipinski has his own page on wikipedia. Zach Arnold gets mentioned. Bryan Alvarez too. Even Gregg Allinson. If you think for a second that my name somehow slipped in there, well, welcome to wrestling kid! BREAKING NEWS: Lipinski just got an update from Wiki saying: It is proposed that this article be deleted, because of the following concern: Non-notable podcast personality, does not pass WP:Bio. Poor Keith.

***Not that I condone this, but if you want to learn how to get a free soda from a coke machine, then watch this short film. If you ever have to steal a bottle of soda for New Jack, for God's sake make sure it's the right one.

***Here's a GREAT short movie Sex Top 2000. Perfect for everyone who loves porn but doesn't want to get caught by their girlfriend!

Your Internet Audio update for this week:
James Guttman's Radio Free Insanity - with special guest, "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton (w/Tom Pritchard).
Between the Ropes - Fritz, Dickerman and Vito return to the airwaves for this week’s edition of Between The Ropes. Listen in as they preview the WWE Unforgiven PPV and whether or not John Cena will be heading to Smackdown following that show. Also, they’ll look back at the finals of the Pride open weight tournament which many are saying is one of the best MMA shows of the year. Plus, former WCW Champion Diamond Dallas Page joined the show live to discuss his recent trip to Iraq and what else he is busy with these days, whether or not he will continue to wrestling, his time in the WWE and more..
In Your Head -with special guests Koko B. Ware and the BLK Out (Sabian and Joker).
Wrestling Mayhem - The show takes its first steps towards legitimacy with its first interview. Special guest Indy sensation Jason Gory!

Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 57
This week's net change: + 4
Current enjoyment level: 61

Don't forget to check out Derek's Weekly Enjoyment Index, Gimmick Table columns, Opinion Pieces, MySpace page~! and goofy stuff on The Wrestling Fan.

Special thanks to the Dr.Keith Show's Keith Lipinski, and The Wrestling Fan's Sean Carless, and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.

Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .