The REAL Best of Raw 2006

Last monday night, instead of the Tribute to the Troops show, we in the UK were shown a 'Best of Raw 2006' show. These were the areas that were deemed to represent the premium events of the last twelve months from the WWE's flagship show:

Jeff Hardy returns;
Trish Stratus and Lita leave;
WWE goes overseas alot;
Edge rises up the ranks;
Dx feuds with the McMahons;
Dx feuds with Rated rko;
K-Fed appears;
Umaga remains unbeaten.

Whilst I can't argue with some of those inclusions, it was clear that WWE only included items that they could naturally segue into current feuds, and thus build up next week's Raw, and New Year's Revolution. I guess I can't blame them for that. That's what Raw has to be all about these days, building up towards the big shows to get as many buys as possible, and at the moment they need to be doing all that they can in that respect. But still, I was looking forward to seeing some of the real memorable moments from the Raw brand over the last year, because, despite how it may seem sometimes, they have been plenty. Well, quite a few.

If WWE can't do a proper job of looking back at the highlights of 2006, then who better to do it than me? Well, who ever you're thinking of isn't available, so I'm gonna have a go.

January - 'Age before Beauty'

John Cena may have started off the year as champion, but that didn't last long as Edge cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot and defeated Cena for the title at New Year's Revolution. On the 17th of the month, going up against a live UFC special, Raw coincidentally decided to give away some big matches on free tv. There was the fourth confrontation between Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle, which was good but not great, and then there was an early contender for Raw match of the year, a match which carried a genuine feeling of fear, for the safety of one of it's participants.

Edge Vs Ric Flair (Jan 17th): (Tables, Ladders & Chairs match for the WWE Championship) Ric Flair comes out and kisses his daughter at ringside. Edge comes out and kisses his belt. They lock up, and Flair immediately starts a-chopping. Edge quickly takes control, brings a ladder into the ring, and rams it into Flair's head: then he puts Flair inside the ladder and hits it with a chair. They brawl at ringside for a while, with Flair taking his seemingly obligatory back bumps on the mats. Edge sets Flair up on a table and looks for a concerto, but Flair grabs Edge by the balls, not letting go until Lita jumps on his back. This gives Edge a chance to grab a chair, which he uses to bust Flair open. Edge puts Flair back on the table by the announce table, and has Lita hold him in place. Edge sets a ladder in the ring and climbs it. Of course, he doesn't actually just climb the ladder to grab the belt, he dives to the outside and spalshes Flair through the table.

Looking at the replay after the break, Edge landed the dive perfectly, and thus nobody was injured or dead. Somehow, Flair has got control, and compounds that with a shot to Edge's nuts. Flair sets Edge inside the ladder and smacks it with a chair, then hits a clean shot to the top of Edge's head. Flair performs some more chair on ladder on Edge action, and starts to work over Edge's leg. Flair sets up a ladder in the corner and climbs up it, but Edge climbs up the other side and vertical suplexes Flair over the top of the ladder on to the canvas. Edge climbs back up the ladder, but Flair gets up. Edge goes for a missile dropkick, but falls short, possibly not on purpose. Slic' Ric flops down anyway, so Edge grabs a chair and hits him with it. Flair thankfully protects himself a little with his arm for this one.

Flair rolls to the outside and Edge starts to climb the ladder, this time to actually try and grab the belt and win the match. He manages to touch the belt, but Flair tips the ladder over, and Edge descends over the ropes to the outside through a table. Flair starts to climb the ladder to become champion, but Lita pulls him down. Flair puts Lita in the Figure Four to see her off, and starts to climb the ladder again. Edge manages to recover in time to stop Flair, and they trade blows on top of the ladder: Edge knocks Flair off, and grabs the belt to retain the title.
Winner: Edge

This match was a whole lot better than a battle between a broken down old man and a recently injured Edge had any right to be. Edge did very well on the big moves, which were all landed perfectly, and the crowd even believed at the end that Flair had a chance to win (it was reminiscent of Jeff Hardy Vs Undertaker in that respect). Some people may have questioned whether it was worth giving away these matches on free TV just to beat a UFC live special, and whether Flair should have been risking his body like this, but I for one was certainly grateful that they did.

Mickiewatch: On the final day of the year's initial month, Mickie James held a Celebration of Trish Stratus. You may remember that Ms James was a bit of a fan of the reigning Women's Champion. Despite Mickie introducing a special Trish-themed cheer from the Spirit Squad, Stratus was not interested in the celebration. The ungrateful cow.

Mickie had confessed her love for Trish, and all she wanted was for some reciprocation, but the champ was not willing. At least she tried to let Mickie down gently, unlike the interfering Ashley, who tried to claim that Trish thought what she thought, that Mickie was a psycho. Ashley is so mean. The crowd started to chant 'She's a psycho'. The crowd are so mean. This all made Mickie cry, which in turn caused thousands of dolphins to die. Trish still tried to be diplomatic, saying that Mickie was a 'special woman', but unsurprisingly this didn't help the situation, as Mickie wailed and stormed off.

After storming away, Mickie stormed back in and attacked Ashley. The Diva Search winer managed to get the upperhand, until Trish pulled her off, at which point Mickie sprung into action with a spinning back kick to the face. Go Mickie. Mickie was delighted with herself, resuscitating some of those dolphins, and delighted that Trish 'helped' her.

February - 'A Dull Road'

The 'Road to WrestleMania' had started at the Royal Rumble, which was won by Rey Mysterio leaving Raw short of a title challenger for WrestleMania. There was only one thing Raw could do, and that was to have a Tournament. There was never any doubt about the winner.

Bunch of Arse: Elsewhere, as Vince McMahon tried in vain to get Shawn Michaels to retire, there was a surprising return to Raw for Marty Jannetty. After Marty saved HBK and started a Rockers reunion, he was offered the chance of a contract, all he had to do was kiss the boss' backside. This was the first of several appearances for Mr McMahon's arse this year. Luckily, after showing a reluctance to pucker up, Marty was given a second chance, just by surviving a Masterlock Challenge. He failed that too, and as Michaels tried to help him, it was HBK who ended up with his face between McMahon's cheeks. McMahon then announced himself against Michaels for WrestleMania.

Naturally, Jannetty messed up his shot of a job in real-life too, and extended his lead in the 'who can get fired the most' competition.

Mickiewatch: After Trish Stratus had retained her Women's Title in a match with the useless bint Candice Michelle, Mickie joined in the celebrations in her own joyous way, as she did the 'we are not worthy' bow. Trish tried to look coy and embarrassed, but you know she loved it really. Mickie then hugs Trish's crotch, and indeed tries to bury her face into Trish's vaginal region, at which point Trish pushes her down and storms off as Mickie is left in the ring wondering what she did wrong.

March - Bang Bang!

Two clear highlights this month, and funnily enough, they weren't matches.

Mickiewatch: After finally turning on Trish at Saturday Night's Main Event, Mickie was in a fine mood on the March 21st edition of Raw. Please allow me to quote myself: "After a break she bounces down to the ring looking gooooooooooood. There is a very large gift box set up in the ring. Mickie says she understands if Trish doesn't want to be her friend anymore, despite the fact that Mickie has given her life for Trish. Mickie points out that every cloud has a silver lining, and hers is that she gets to face Trish for the Women's championship at WrestleMania. Once she wins, Mickie will be an inspiration to millions, like Trish was to her, except she is going to embrace that, and not push her fans aside, as Trish has done. Mickie, you are an inspiration to me every day. And twice on Sundays. To show that there are no hard feelings, Mickie has got Trish a present, although Trish doesn't want to come out to receive it. The box is lifted, and it's someone tied to a chair under a cloth. Trish's music hits and out comes the soon to be ex-champ. Mickie takes off the cover, and it's Ashley tied up, broken leg and all.

Mickie threatens to hurt Ashley if Trish comes any closer, but Trish manages to trip Mickie, pull her out of the ring and beat her down. Trish then goes to untie Ashley but Mickie blindsides her and gives Trish a monster DDT, a MickieDT if you will. Mickie is bleeding from the nose, blood which she gets all over Trish when she kisses her unconscious, prone body. Her unconscious, prone, tight, fit body. Ahem, I apologise."

This was the most memorable Raw moment for one of the best built storylines of the year. As the slow build progressed, the quality of segments varied, but this was great, with all involved playing their parts perfectly. Even Ashley, who proved she is not entirely useless, as long as she is gagged and tied to a chair.

Foley and Edge: Whilst most of the WrestleMania build up was going through the motions, this particular feud sparked into life with just a couple of weeks to go before the big show. It really started after a beating at SNME allowed Foley to dust off his Cactus Jack speech. You see, Edge woke something inside of Foley, and brought back a monster, a monster some might know by the name of Cactus Jack. "Edge, you spoke the truth...and at WrestleMania you will find that the truth hurts. Bang! Bang!"

On the final Raw before the biggest event of the year, Mick Foley came down to the ring with a long shiny red box, whilst leaving a similar box on the stage. Foley says he was wrong to give Lita the mandible claw the previous week, and so he has got her a present. He produced a bunch of flowers. Foley also had a present for Edge, which was in the box on the stage, and Foley instructed Edge to come out and accept it. Edge came out, but wasn't keen to open his present, thinking it may be a trap. Foley says the present is something that Edge could use at WrestleMania.

Edge pointed out that what Foley could use at WrestleMania is a win, instead of just being there to collect another paycheck. Mick said it's not about the money, it's about having a WrestleMania moment, and he had one in mind for Edge. Edge opened the box, and pulled out a baseball bat: then he walked down to the ring to give Foley a beating with it. It turned out that flowers were not the only thing that Foley had in his box, he had a bat of his own, a bat wrapped in barbed wire.

He saw Edge off, with Edge perfectly acting afraid of the hardcore side of Foley. The segment ended with Foley in the ring, chewing on his barbed wire bat. It was a quality piece of work by both men, with the crowd popping in all the right places. Foley eventually had his 'WrestleMania moment', as he was speared off the apron, causing both men to go through a flaming table, in the most memorable moment of one of the sickest matches of the year.

April - Who says Religion and Wrestling don't mix?

John Cena stunned the live crowd, and upset many more, as he made HHH tap out at WrestleMania. With hindsight, it was HHH who stunned us all by agreeing to do the job. Of course he soon made us aware of who was the real 'King of Kings'. Can you guess where HHH fits into this interesting scenario:

There were two heels against one face, but the fans were mostly treating the heels like faces and the face like a heel. One heel was making the other heel do all the work, thus making the first heel the bigger heel, and then turned on him making the second heel a face. But the original face joined in with the beating, meaning either he was turning heel or the first heel was turning face with the second heel still being heel despite being beaten down two-on-one like a face. The first heel then turned on the face, thus making himself both the biggest heel and the biggest face in the whole company.

Yes, Cena may have been the champ, and Edge may have been elevated back to main event level via his win over Foley, but there was no doubt that HHH was the main man.

Oh God!: Following his WrestleMania loss to HBK, Vince McMahon had only one person he could blame. That was of course God, leading a tag match at Backlash between Vince & Shane McMahon and Shawn Michaels & God. There was one funny vignette featuring the McMahon's in church, but there wasn't as much humour as there could have been, and certainly not enough to overcome the unease caused by the owner of a wrestling company booking himself in a match with God.

Mickiewatch: After triumphantly bethroning her at WrestleMania, Mickie James had taken to looking like Trish Stratus, which naturally freaked Trish out in storyline, and also me in real life (Platinum Mickie just wasn't quite right). Things took an even more bizarre turn during a match between Mickie and some interviewer.

CHAMPION OF THE WORLD MICKIE JAMES Vs Maria: (Women's Championship) Mickie James beats up Maria in a five-star match. Five out of what, I'm not saying. Trish came out, dressed as original style Mickie James, and bounced around, giving Mickie the wiggins. I think it took a while before much of the crowd realised that this was Trish, as they weren't sure what to make of it. Trish kissed Mickie, who bailed and walked off looking confused. 'That's not cool' said Mickie as she left. True 'dat. What's also true is that Mickie was way better at being Trish than Trish was at being Mickie.

May - Just don't mention the 19th

Sign of the Month: "I pooped Vince McMahon"

Oh My God!: Now, everybody remembers this promo. But do you recall what was the final trigger? We have the Spirit Squad to thank for that, as they were put in charge of Raw for the night, and told a certain commentator that he sucked, and if he didn't improve, and show more spirit, then he would have to wear a female cheerleading outfit. If that wasn't bad enough, Jerry Lawler couldn't resist mocking his commentary partner. He just kept poking, and finally young Joey Styles snapped and slapped Lawler's chemically enhanced face.

After a break, Styles let rip, in a self-written (but cleared by creative of course) promo, delivered with as much passion as any this year. Back to me:

"Joey comes out and says he isn't coming back, then tells a little story about how he was approached by wwe to fill in for Jim Ross, who they had fired and humiliated again, and was then told to completely change his style of announcing. He wasn't supposed to call moves anymore, and he had to talk about 'sports entertainment' instead of 'wrestling' and 'superstars' instead of 'wrestlers'. Then he was bumped from WrestleMania because he didn't sound enough like the guy that they wanted to fire in the first place. So he took all this, and then he gets bumped from Backlash. "I'm not good enough to call Backlash?" In ECW he called live PPVs on his own, but he wasn't allowed to call Backlash because he wasn't a sports entertainment storyteller. Joey is sick of sports entertainment and all that it contains, and most of all he is sick of the fans who buy this crap."

It was a truly great promo, full of truth, and helped to lay some strong groundwork for the 'relaunch' of 'ECW'.

Mickiewatch: Mickie gets attacked by Beth Phoenix. But who is this mysterious stranger, seemingly with a past history with Ms James?

Foley Vs Funk: Some time after his brutal battle with Edge, Foley turned on one-time friend Tommy Dreamer, and joined Edge in giving Dreamer a beatdown. One person not happy with this turn of events was Terry Funk, leading to some sparkling verbal confrontations betwen he and Foley. Ok, sometimes Funk seemed like he wasn't sure where he was, and even the most ardent of fans may have been stretched by all the history they brought up, but there was an intensity to the work that made it absolutely fascinating.

Funk came up with a couple of great lines: "You've got your nerve Foley, I'm gonna John Wayne your ass" and my particular favourite, "Hey Foley, your wife's a whore...Hey Foley, your kids are bastards..."

Worst of Raw 2006: Kane gets attacked by Kane.

June - Dumb to the Xtreme?

A DX reunion had been teased for a while, then they pulled the trigger, and the crowds were loving it. That was the only saving grace of some terminal pieces of television. It may have been shit, often literally, but the crowd reactions started off strong so the reunion was difficult to argue with. At the time I said that "even though it surely won't have any real longevity, they can get one PPV buyrate out of it". I don't know if I was right or wrong about the longevity: they're still going, but they're hardly setting the world alight, and surely even the most retarded of fans have realised they are so far past the point of being entertaining it's just ridiculous. Anyway.

Mickiewatch: Victoria smashes Beth Phoenix' face in, solving all of Mickie James' problems. And meaning that we never really find out who Beth was supposed to be.

I do believe that June was a shitty month. No, wait, I take that back. I've found something that was undoubtedly one of the best moments of Raw in 2006. Charlie Haas sends Lilian Garcia flying off the apron as he makes his entrance and runs the ropes. Ross and Lawler ignore her screams and continue as if nothing has happened, and the cameras all do their best to avoid catching any glimpses of her being helped away from ringside. The best bit? The fact that she got heat for making a fuss.

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From doing this, I'm already drawing conclusions about Raw in 2006, and just perhaps the slightest lack of quality matches, but I'll give the second half of the year a look before I make up my mind, so stay tuned, bitches.

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