The opening Adrenaline video is cut short by a screen containing the words "Last Week After the Show." I'm presuming this has something to do with the 8-man clusterfuck, but the only possibly tie-in is that The Crew is ranting about Chad Collyer. Dick Rick cuts a promo and says that they are angry that Chad Collyer stole THEIR HWA title - how dare he do such a thing! Threats are issued, promises are made, and apparently Collyer was listening off camera and could take no more because he comes flying in and The Crew scatter like roaches with the lights on. This large group has to beg for security to come and hold back ONE MAN. Collyer says that if they want to get in his business so bad, they should man up and accept his challenge - one on one, Collyer versus Rick next week. Tim Tatum makes the match and the opening video packages finally airs.

Dick Rick v. Chad Collyer

You would presume Collyer's title is not on the line since the promo building this match aired only one minute ago, but you never know in the whacky world of pro wrestling. There's apparently a problem with the play by play mics, so we get a minute of the chiseled Rick strutting and posing to his music. Thankfully when Collyer comes out they start brawling before the ring announcer can even finish introducing him. Rick with knees to the gut, Collyer responds with a series of chops, finally tossing Rick aside and having enough time to take his ring jacket off. Rick rolls out to the floor and Collyer flies over the top rope to crash into him. Back in the ring Rick gets thrown off the ropes into a dropkick. Snap suplex and Rick sells the pain. Uppercut, hip toss, falling knee to the forehead, stomp on the fingers, Collyer dominates and then does a double underhook into a slam. Collyer backs up into the ropes and flips his whole body off the momentum to land back first on Rick, resulting in a two count. Rick with the eye poke, but Collyer still responds with chops. Collyer tries to float over in the corner but Rick turns it into a fallaway slam for two. An anemic "let's go Chad" chant breaks out. The referee warns Rick about illegal tactics in the corner, so Rick snaps him over and goes for a body scissor. Collyer tries to pull the legs apart but gets kicked in the face. Rick wraps an arm around his neck and the ref checks to see if he's out. Collyer fights to his feet with Rick on his back and falls into the turnbuckle to shake him off. Rick responds with a clothesline and kicks him repeatedly in the gut. Collyer gets thrown off the ropes, ducks and hits his own clothesline. Chops and a headbutt by Collyer. Leapfrog over Collyer by Rick just puts him in a drop kick. Collyer ducks another clothesline, rebounds, and gets scooped up and nearly dropped on his head. 2 and a 1/2 count. Rick drops a flying elbow and attempts another unsuccessful cover. Rick grabs the neck and sticks a knee in Collyer's back to crank it up. I haven't seen much of Rick but it's the little things like using the knee to apply pressure which make a good heel believable, so Rick gets a thumbs up. Collyer tries to make a comeback and gets shut down again with elbows. Finally Collyer picks him up and drops him neck first on the ropes. Both men are down, stagger to their feet, big back body drop and a gut wrench suplex lead to a two count for Collyer. Rick gets reversed into a DDT for a two count. Collyer applies a submission hold, the ref gets distracted, and Pepper Parks runs in to break up a possible tapout. Collyer is irate and chases (well walks towards actually) a fleeing Parks, but Rick takes advantage and gets a schoolboy rollup, using his feet on the ropes for leverage to boot. WINNER: DICK RICK. Collyer's heated but the play by play guys finally confirm it was non-title. Commercial!

Neveah/Heavenly v. Heather Owens/AJ Sparx

It's not very often you see tag team women's wrestling so this is a plus even before we get started. On the minus side is the fact that based on looks alone, none of these four is ever getting beyond the indies. TNA - no women's division. WWE - a division full of bimbos and strippers, with one or two real wrestlers to carry them to one star matches. ROH/Shimmer is pretty much their only hope without boob jobs and plastic surgery, which is a sadly misogynistic state of affairs, but what are you going to do. AJ gets a nice little pop from the crowd at the start, and she is probably the cutest of the four - also possibly the smallest size-wise. Neveah takes a beating from AJ via knees and elbows, and then AJ does a back bridge... onto Neveah's back? Well it's not a pinfall attempt so apparently it's to apply pressure, although it looks more painful for the giver than the receiver. AJ pulls her back to her feet and goes for a side headlock, but Neveah keeps reversing it, and finally AJ gets pissed and grabs the head for two knee drops and a face first plant in the mat, rolling her over for a two count. AJ's partner Owens makes a blind tag, and Neveah continues to get dominated. Side russian legsweep by Owens gets a two count. Owens hits Neveah with elbows to the face, but Heavenly pulls the hair from outside and the heels get the advantage. AJ tries to come in to break it up which allows the classic double-teaming to take place. Heavenly is now the legal woman, and as the ugliest of the four is the right one to make the equally unattractive Owens the babyface. Neveah tags back in and despite the ring rat attire I'm relieved to see her. Neveah with a quick two count, pulling Owens back up for punches and chops, shoulders to the gut. The referee warns Neveah about her offense and Heavenly makes an illegal choke while he's distracted. Owens gets thrown off the ropes, ducks under and some unexplainable botched spot ends with both laying on the canvas. Each woman crawls for the tag, AJ is a house of fire, does a Stratusfaction but gets broken up before she can get a three count. It's a cluster now with all four in the ring, but suddenly Jake CRIST~! comes to pull Neveah out of the ring and carry her away. Heavenly gets a double gut kick and both women throw her over right on her head, and AJ gets the pinfall as the legal woman. WINNERS: OWENS/SPARX. The heels got screwed for the sake of love? Jake Crist is trying to pitch woo by costing her a match and presumably more money at the OL' PAY WINDAH? I don't get this, so I'm glad for a commercial break.

Eddie Gonzales v. Chris Carnage

You could not have two more polar opposites. Gonzales out of shape, wears a dirty Mexico t-shirt and a headband to the ring, and looks like every indie worker you've ever seen (while simultaneously not the least bit Mexican). Chris Carnage comes out with no t-shirt on, looking as jacked to the gills as any steroid junkie with WELLNESS issues you've ever seen, complete with six-pack abs and bulging biceps. With a thicker head of hair he'd be Dan Rodimer, but instead he's got a rock'n'roll skullet in the back and seems to be prematurely bald in the front. He's got a manager named Cricket who looks like he could have a good one-on-one match with Smackdown's Little Bastard. The announcers refer to Carnage as Godzilla, and as he picks up his midget manager to lift him in the ring he certainly looks like it. Gonzales gets a weak "let's go beaner" chant to start (seriously). Gonzales throws fists and Carnage no sells. Eddie tries a foot stomp distraction and charges Carnage, but bounces off him like a rubber ball. The whole point is that Carnage overpowers everything Gonzales does, throwing the man around with ease. Gonzales gets thrown off the ropes, caught and easily lifted for a power bomb. Carnage puts him in the torture rack and then spins around to drop him like a bad habit for the pin. WINNER: CHRIS CARNAGE. The ring crew checks on Eddie like he's just been left for dead as we go to commercial.

Ganger (w/ Brock Guffman) v. Scottie Murray (HWA TV Title match)

It's clear to me now these episodes of HWA are being shown out of order, because they refer to Murray as having won the title last week, only last week he was forced into a tag match partnering with the cowardly Gonzales. Nevertheless for the purpose of this show Murray is the TV title holder and his belt is on the line. Murray gets the better of the match to start, the two reverse each other's arm twists, and finally Murray turns it into a headlock until Ganger throws him off the ropes and eats a shoulder block and a head scissors takedown for his trouble. Murray hits a neckbreaker and gets a two count. Ganger begs off and Murray plays to the crowd, but Ganger uses the respite to recover and suddenly pulls Murray face first into the second turnbuckle. Murray pulls him back to his feet and chokes him out on the ropes. The ref warns him off but Ganger comes back over to stomp on his gut and toss him to the outside, where Brock Guffman lays the boots to him. Ganger starts to pull Murray back in by the hair, gets warned, and Murray gets a couple of shoulders to the gut before Ganger gets a DDT and a two count. Murray tries to fight back with chops but Ganger knocks him down and then gets behind him for a chinlock. The announcer calls it a camel clutch variant but Ganger's no Iron Sheik and Murray's definitely not humble. The squat stocky Ganger goes for a rare top rope maneuver but gets cut off by Murray for a superplex. JT Stahr runs out and does his best Cryme Tyme impression, stealing Murray's TV title while the match for it is still in progress. Murray finally realizes what's happened and runs after Stahr, leaving Ganger in the ring to get the countout. Titles do not change hands on countouts in HWA so your WINNER: GANGER is NOT the new HWA TV title holder. The portly Guffman nevertheless seems pleased that his man won. Commercial.

Irish Airborne v. The Mavericks

All four men are in the ring to start. Airborne bail out and the Mavericks try to run the ropes and hit the outside, but the ref gets in their way and blocks the luchariffic spot. Meanwhile Airborne explain the rules of the match to the ringside announcers, which are apparently in a 20 page booklet comparable to home stereo instructions. The announcers want to know if there's anything about blinding a man and cheapshotting him in the book, and they note that Dave Crist is in fact allowed to do that. They go on and on about the booklet having an appendix, a glossary and a bibliography and put over the instructions for the match more than anybody in it. Finally Dave Crist is in the ring with The Solution from the Mavericks, gives him a hip toss and works over the left arm, standing on the wrist and stomping on the foot to finish it off. Aaron Williams gets tagged in, but Dave goes for an eyepoke and tags in Jake. Two on one flapjack leaves Williams flat. Jake Crist with a big diving forearm and a spinning heel kick and Williams is DOWWWN. Boot chokes are apparently allowed in the 20 page rulebook. Dave Crist gets tagged back in and Williams eats a drop toe hold, then pulled over into a body scissors. The crowd chants "Aa-ron, Aa-ron" over and over, he crawls over for the tag, but Dave pulls him back and tags in brother Jake. Williams spits one heck of a loogie in the direction of Dave on the outside. More quick tags by Irish Airborne cutting off the ring. Williams makes a "martial arts" comeback, charges the ropes but gets kicked right in the jaw for a two count before Solution breaks it up. Aaron Williams is one ugly pug, but he plays a good babyface in peril. Jake Crist hits him with a brainbuster and taunts the crowd. Dave gets the tag and jumps off the second rope for a springboard even though they are apparently not allowed in the rulebook. Airborne stretch out Williams from outside the ring to inside before Jake finally lets go and accepts a legal tag. Crist and Williams slap each other in the face repeatedly before another near fall, another tag, and finally Williams hits a knee to the jaw and both men are down. Dave tries to cut off Williams before a tag but The Solution finally gets in and goes crazy with clotheslines. He goes top rope for the frog splash but the referee refuses to let him do it since it's not in the rulebook. Jake gets double teamed and dropped in the bean, the Mavericks and Airborne all in now and the announcers once again have no idea who the legal man is. Williams gets double teamed until The Solution drags one Crist to the outside, but Ganger gets involved and drags Williams outside, so apparently Solution is the legal man as he comes back in and gets dropped on his head. Airborne set up a mushroom stomp by having one Crist climb the turnbuckle and the other climb up on top of him, and Solution gets rolled up for the pin. WINNERS: IRISH AIRBORNE. HWA was running long so the show immediately ends without a goodbye or farewell of any kind. Happy New Year to everybody in THE EMPIRE~!

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