Updated: Saturday November 7th, 2009 03:51:44 PM PST
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TNA Impact TV report for March 29 PDF Print E-mail

By Larry Csonka
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TNA Impact Begins…NOW!

-We get a video recap of last week’s show.

-We get a paparazzi Video with Sting and Mitchell having dinner and discussing Chris Abyss’ life. Apparently Chris Abyss’ MOM shot the father and Chris Abyss took the wrap for it. To protect his mother. Mitchell says he will tell the police what she did if Abyss doesn’t do what he says. Mitchell leaves as he has a meeting with Christian and sticks Sting with the bill. HEEL~!

-Tenay and West welcome us to the show and run down what we’ll see tonight.

Six Sides of Steel Xcape Match: Alex Shelley vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy vs. Jerry Lynn vs. THE Austin Starr

We get a cluster to start. RANAS by Dutt. Sweet moonsault on Shelley and that gets 2. Nice German by Shelley on Dutt. Petey’s new tights chop away at Shelley and Backlund is doing the Harvard step test at ringside. Lynn hp tosses everyone and their mom. Clothesline to Starr. Shelley with a dropkick to Lynn, suplex on Sharky and chokes him out. Sharky gets the DSD on Shelley and PINS him @ 2:00. That was unexpected. Dutt, who has new tights works over Sharky. Lynn over and blocks a RANA and powerbombs him into the cage. Cradle piledriver and Dutt Is gone @ 2:47. Starr sets Lynn up top, rakes the back and Sharky is over with rights to Starr. DSD try on Starr, but he tosses him off and gets the STARR BUSTER and Sharky is done @ 3:37. Lynn and Petey toss Starr into the cage. Starr with the double eye poke, Lynn wants piledriver, but Petey gets the Destroyer and NAILS it on Starr and he is done @ 4:17.

Escape rules now. Lynn takes Petey down and climbs. Petey grabs a leg, and Lynn kicks him off. Petey up top with him now and they straddle the cage and brawl. They both go over the top and Lynn slams Petey off the cage and then drops down for the win.

Winner: Jerry Lynn @ 5:35 via Escape

-After the match Daniels attacks Lynn with the bat. Petey runs him off.

-Moments ago Tomko arrived and Leticia is with him. Cage is here now and is glad to see Tomko. He asks if he had fun in Japan or if he took Origami. Cage takes a call and Tomko walks away. He says it was a good talk and that they’ll catch up later.

-Back from commercial and Cage, AJ and Steiner make their way to the ring. He wants to make an official announcement that the 3rd member is a man that needs no introduction, a man that is the baddest, Scott Steiner. Steiner says don’t forget the title shot that he deserves. Cage says not to worry about it. Now he will intro the 4th member, being led by Jim Mitchell, Abyss. Mitchell and Abyss come to the ring and join the team. Cage says it is a pleasure doing business with a righteous man like Jim Mitchell. AJ reminds him that this is not Canada, and this is 4 guys, not 5. They chant for Sting and Cage says to shut up. Cage says AJ ruined the surprise, and he says the 5th man is Tomko. Tomko doesn’t come out and Cage says he must not have heard him and announces him again. Tomko finally comes out to the ring. Cage wants a hug, but Tomko has something to say. Cage has made him a lot of promises and they have all been lies. First of al he plays 2nd to no one, and secondly he is promised a title shot. He doesn’t care who he promised one to, but before he joins the team, he wants his title shot…tonight. Cage cannot believe how selfish he is being and wants to know where his team spirit is. He promised him the shot, but only after they beat Team Angle. Kurt Angle now comes out with Rhino and Joe. Angle tells Tomko that there is no title shot. And if he wants a piece of Cage, he can join Team Angle and kick his ass. Tomko tells Cage to shut up and now Cornette is out. He is sick of all of this talking because this is a wrestling program, not a debate. There will be wrestling, and one member of team Cage vs. one from Angle and the winner of the match gets Tomko on their team at Lockdown. And if Tomko agrees, then he will promise the title shot he was promised. Tomko agrees and he and Cornette shake.

-Back from commercial with commercials for Lockdown and the fan fest and show before the event. They also hype the electrified cage match.

-JB is with Team Angle. Angle says he will step up and show why he is the leader. When he says something he does it. He has had set backs, because Abyss and Sting were to be members, but he will win Tomko. As for the 5th man, some things are better left unsaid.

-Back from commercial and time for the next match!

James Storm w/Jackie Moore vs. Eric Young

Storm attacks, and Eric avoids him and gets a hip toss and dropkick. Jackie grabs his leg and Storm levels Eric. He grinds his head off the top rope and then slams him down. Storm lays him over the bottom rope, to the floor and a dropkick follows. Back in and a cover for 2. Boots and slaps by Storm. Misses a right and a clothesline by Eric. Irish whip, Flair flip by Eric and then a belly to belly gets 2 for Eric. Irish whip, counter and a superkick stopped and Eric with a backdrop suplex. Eric up top…Jackie distracts him and shoves him off into a superkick and that is all.

Winner: James Storm @ 2:20 via pin

-Harris and Gail rush the ring after the match and security is here to stop that. Harris fights off security and finally gets a piece of Storm! They brawl to the back as Storm runs.

-Eric is left in the ring and Roode is here to call him pathetic and a disgrace to the sport and Roode Inc. He slaps Eric, and Eric looks to fight back…but Roode threatens to fire him. Roode asks who his friend is and Petey is out to slap the shit out of Roode. Petey goes for the Destroyer, but Roode escapes.

-Cage is with his team in the back. Cage says Tomko is nothing without him. They discuss who will take on Angle and asks for volunteers. He is the champ and a main event guys. He can’t wrestle, he may get hurt. Steiner says his body sells tickets, and AJ says the hood sells tickets. Mitchell is here and he will take care of the dirty work, because Abyss will do it. Mitchell reminds Abyss that mommy is only a phone call away.

-Back from commercial and Cornette discusses Hemme vs. VKM. VKM and Hoyt are there as is Hemme via Satellite. She says they have not won anything yet. Kip says she is in the way of what they want, the tag titles. He tells her to stop while she still has some dignity left. She says they cant take anything from her, and she has gotten another team. Kip is now pissed. He says she will soon enough get hurt like a wrestler, and he says to stop. BG and Hoyt stood there like goofs. And is Hoyt a member of the VKM now?

-Tomko makes his way to the ring with a contract for each team.

WINNER GETS TOMKO: Kurt Angle vs. Abyss

Lock up and to the corner they go, and a break. Angle with a single leg takedown, elbows to the knee and a leg lock applied. Angle lays the boots to the leg and then goes for a chop block and eats a clothesline. Abyss tries to shake off the pain, but Angle takes him down and gets an ankle lock, but Abyss gets the ropes. Cage is out now and has words with Abyss and Mitchell as we head to a commercial @ 1:50.

Back from commercial @ 5:30 with Abyss getting a stalling suplex for 2. Abyss applies a neck vice now. Angle fights back, they exchange rights and Angle gets a forearm that rocks Abyss. GERMAN by Angle and the STRAPS are down! Boot, Angle slam countered by Abyss. Shock treatment try, countered into the ankle lock! Cage and Abyss yell ay Abyss to fight. Angle pulls him back and Abyss kicks off, but Angle holds on. Abyss rolls and we have a REF BUMP~! Angle off the ropes and EATS a black hole slam! He covers and another ref is out and only counts 2 as Angle kicked out. Goozle now…Counter and Angle gets a roll up for the pin.

Winner: Kurt Angle @ 8:20 via pin

-Of course after the match we get the SWERVE as Tomko takes out Angle and joins team Cage anyway. Rhino is out and then AJ. The numbers are too many but Joe is here! Joe with jabs and starts to clear out things. Steiner is here now and attacks Joe from behind. Overhead belly to belly on Joe by Angle. Team Cage stands strong.

-We get the closing wrap up video do hickey.

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