WWE RAW
(Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler)

MICKIE JAMES, Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool Maria & Vs Melina, Layla, Victoria & Jillian Hall: ('Santa's Little Helpers' match) Jillian gets through a couple of bars of The Christmas Song before being rudely interrupted. Maria and Jillian start the match. Lots of tags, bad wrestling and squawking. Victoria misses a middle rope moonsault, leading to MICKIE JAMES being tagged in, lighting up the arena like twelve million christmas lights and pinning Victoria after a huge implant DDT.
Winners: Mickie James +3 (Time 3:22)

Mr McMahon walks out during the celebrations and forces the ladies to leave. He's not happy about being beaten up last week and left lying there whilst everyone else celebrated the anniversary of his creation, Monday Night Raw. His feelings have been hurt: "You've broken my heart". I'll give you three guesses who interrupts Vince's wallowing. Wrong, wrong and wrong, it's actually Jeff Hardy. Jeff likens Vince to Saddam Hussein. He has a few good points. "You don't give a damn about anybody: which is why nobody gives a damn about you". McMahon sits down in the corner of the ring and looks pained, taking us to a break.

As we return, William Regal is trying to talk Vince out of the ring. Out comes HHH. He does one of his comedy routines, in the hope that a lame gay joke will bring McMahon back to life. Regal interjects and brings McMahon up to his feet, from where the boss orders Regal and Jonathan Coachman against HHH. McMahon hopes bad things happen to the crowd.

HHH Vs William Regal & Jonathan Coachman: (Handicap Match) No man is in his proper gear, with Regal and Coach in suits. HHH knocks Coach down straightaway and works on Regal, but the numbers tell as Coach and mostly Regal smack HHH about. Trips fires back, but Regal fetches some brass knuckles. HHH spinebusters Regal, but Coach grabs the nux, only for HHH to confiscate them and bonk Coach on the head with them. Coach is pedigreed for the three. HHH and Regal have a stare off after the contest.
Winner: HHH (3:43)

Cody Rhodes & Bob Holly Vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch: (World Tag Team Championship) Whatever happened to the Trevor and Mickie relationship?
Winners: Rhodes & Holly (2:56)

Ric Flair Vs Umaga: Upon his entrance, Ric Flair reiterates his desire to never retire. He keeps talking for a while, but I can't be bothered to listen. By God, he's still talking. Seeing as how Umaga is mysteriously shrinking, he's getting to have a better physique than Flair. Bigger arse though. Umaga beats on Flair from the start. Then some more. And a bit bit more. Flair avoids a diving headbutt, hits some chops and a chopblock, but can't put on the figure four. They end up outside, where Flair avoids a butt charge causing Umaga to fly through the dasher boards. Flair gets back in the ring by ten to win the match.
Winner: Ric Flair (7:32)

Chris Jericho comes down to the ring, sporting a fancy black eye. We are treated to a recap of the end of the WWE title match at Armageddon and JBL's interference. Jericho had invited JBL to come to Raw, but he hasn't shown up, so Jericho will have to go to SmackDown. JBL appears on the big screen 'via satellite'. Bradshaw says he is far too busy to deal with Jericho right now. They verbally spar a little, and Jericho promises to turn up on SmackDown when JBL least expects it. JBL tells us he has made a little agreement with McMahon that if Jericho messes with him, he will never eeeeeeever get a title shot again. Jericho wonders if JBL sold his balls on Wall Street? "JBL you are no longer a wrestling God, you are a wrestling afterthought". That seems to do the trick, as JBL promises to turn up to Raw next week.

SANTINO MARELLA & Carlito Vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick: Santino starts with Brian Kendrick, with the former Spanky making the pretend Italian look stupido. Paul London gets the better of Santino as well, so Carlito comes in. He has more success, but L&K take back over with their typical speed offense. After a chase around the ring, Carlito catches London with the backstabber.
Winners: 'Tino & 'Lito (2:45)

Randy Orton tells Todd that he's not only the Legend Killer, he's the killer of hopes and dreams, so Jeff Hardy had better not get too excited about his title shot at the Royal Rumble. HHH congratulates Flair on his win, and tells him that the career never has to come to an end. Mr McMahon appears, and tells Flair that his next match will be in two weeks - against HHH.

Shawn Michaels & Jeff Hardy Vs Mr Kennedy & Randy Orton: Orton and Hardy start off the match, with the champ getting a knockdown, but the challenger using his speed advantage for a couple of takedowns. Kennedy is tagged in, using his good hand to beat Hardy down into the corner. Hardy comes back using his whacky offense to control Kennedy. Orton tries to get involved, but Hardy and Michaels hit stereo dives to take us to a break.

As we return, Kennedy seems in control of HBK, but the tag is made quickly to Hardy, who misses a Whisper in the Wind for the heat to be gained upon him. After a while, Michaels gets the hot tag and beats both Kennedy and Orton up, but gets clotheslined down by Kennedy right after kipping up. Orton puts HBK in a chinlock. After Michaels has spent his turn as the face in peril, Jeff gets his hot tag. The match breaks down into a fourway, and after a Twist of Fate reversal into a RKO back into a Twist of Fate, Hardy hits the Swanton for the three count on Orton.
Winners: Hardy & Michaels (13:40)

{plug}