WWE RAW
(Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler)

After a cool video recap of Jeff Hardy's dive last week, the first ever Raw in HD begins. The credits look new and shiny, as does the new set, but I don't have HD. In fact it's not even in HD over here so whateca. For the main event, they advertise a handshake between Hardy and Randy Orton. A HANDSHAKE, RAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!111eleven!!!

Shawn Michaels Vs Mr Kennedy: After Michaels qualified for the Rumble last week, Kennedy was given a spot by William Regal. The first part of the match is fun, with a distinctly pastier Kennedy getting to throw Michaels around. Kennedy rips some of HBK's hair out. Careful Ken, he paid alot for that. A swinging neckbreaker from Michaels leaves both men down, then HBK begins his typical comeback and hits the top rope elbow. The band is tuned, but Kennedy avoids the superkick and escapes to the floor. We go to a break right after Michaels follows him out with a rolling senton dive.

Upon resumption of transmission, Kennedy is in control again after slingshotting Shawny into the ringpost. Kennedy looks for the mic check: Michaels avoids it so Kennedy sets him up on the turnbuckle. Michaels blocks the superplex and knocks Kennedy backwards to the mat, but Kennedy gets his knees up on the elbow attempt and gets a two from his Samoan drop rolly thing. Kennedy has blood on the bridge of his nose, then proceeds to eat a superkick for the three. Good opener.
Winner: Shawn Michaels (Time 14:17)

Randy Orton complains to Mr McMahon about having to shake Hardy's hand later. McMahon says that he has to shake the hand of people he doesn't like all the time, and Orton needs to think of it as a competitive advantage to show he is willing to shake his hand after what happened last week. I wonder who's hand McMahon had to shake this week?

Beth Phoenix Vs Mickie James: Fruity fruity skittles are back as a sponsor. The match starts off fine, as Mickie tries to combat Beth's power. It's simple but effective. Mickie remains competitive throughout a decent enough match, until Beth blocks a DDT, dumps Mickie on the ropes, and hits her suplex for the win. Mickie is visibly upset upon losing.
Winner: The Bethemoth (3:42)

Todd Grisham's guest at this time is blaH blaH blaH. Cody Rhodes and Brian Kendrick chat about the Rumble. Kendrick should have chats with people every week. Bob Holly turns up, and humour is derived from his lack of MySpace knowledge. A really good Randy Orton video package is shown, from his childhood, to winning the World title for the first time to this current feud.

Finlay & Hornswoggle Vs The Highlanders: It's only a short squash, but I've just got very excited at the prospect of a feud for the tag titles between Finlay/Horny and Carlito/Santino for WrestleMania. Obviously one of them would actually need to win the titles first. Who are the champs right now?
Winners: Finlay & Hornswoggle (1:25)

After footage of what JBL did to Chris Jericho two weeks ago and what he said last week, Jericho comes out with a few words for JBL. At the Rumble, he's not looking to put on a good show for the fans, he's going for a fight. Really good serious promo.

McMahon chastises Jeff Hardy for risking his and Orton's lives last week. He wants Hardy to shake Orton's hand, like boxers touch gloves and politicians shake hands knowing they hate each other. Hardy says Vince has nothing to worry about: he's going to go out there and give everyone something to talk about.

Brian Kendrick Vs Umaga: (Rumble Qualifier) Of course, Umaga has already qualified, but here Kendrick gets his chance. William Regal appears on the screen and says that at the Rumble, even someone like Kendrick can earn a title shot. Yeeeeeah, that's never actually happened though has it? It's not gonna happen with Kendrick this year either, as he puts up a valiant fight but gets flattened. Umaga actually picks Kendrick up and thumbs him in mid air for the victory.
Winner: Umaga (2:18)

Mickie James is backstage weeping. I believe she may be suffering from emotional trauma from having just raped Cody Rhodes. Supersleuth Maria realises something is wrong, and Mickie admits to being frustrated that she keeps giving everything but can't beat Beth Phoenix. Bumbling Ashley bumbles up and bumblingly regales Maria with a story of how she was at the playboy mansion and Hef had an idea... Santino Marella arrives and tells Ashley that Maria doesn't need to purchase him a subscription to Playboy, after all "Why buy the cow when you have someone who lets you milk them for free?"

Another good video is shown, this time looking at Jeff Hardy. I have to say, this is the first time in a while I actually genuinely care about the outcome of a title match.

Carlito Vs Bob Holly: Both men are accompanied by their respective tag partners, with Cody showing no signs of ill effects from being raped by Mickie James earlier. Santino distracts Holly allowing Carlito to hit the poostabber for the three.
Winner: Carlito (3:10)

HHH Vs Snitsky, Mark Henry & William Regal: (Over-the-top-rope gauntlet match) HHH needs to eliminate all three men one after the other to win and be allowed into the Rumble. You'll never guess what happens...
Winner: HHH (5:45)

Mr McMahon comes out to officiate the handshake of doom between Orton and Hardy. McMahon says he doesn't need to hype up their title match on sunday, then proceeds to hype it up. Orton tells Hardy that he was initially relieved when he heard Hardy was going to be his opponent, but he under-estimated him. Although Hardy won't win his title, he has won Orton's respect. Hardy says he didn't do the dive last week to impress Orton, he did it to hurt him. He did it for Matt. He did it because he has waited long enough for his shot at the wwe title. As for the handshake, there's a lot of people Jeff respects more than he does Orton, so the champ will have to wait in line. Hardy rolls out of the ring and shakes the hand of Ross, Lawler and Lilian Garcia, then Ryan, Bobby, Cory, Ethan, Justin, Kevin, Chris, Wayne, Jordan and Christina from the crowd. Hardy heads back into the ring, Orton offers his hand, and Hardy gives him the Twist of Fate.

This show, I enjoyed.

{plug}