First an important announcement… PeachMachine is going to Vegas, baby~! I’ve got my tickets to UFC 84, and I’m gassed up and ready to go hang out with all ya’ll F4W serfs. Thanks much to JBennet, and I can’t wait to punch BAlvarez in the dick. Also, if I see Cutrer, I’m going to have to blow him for the WOL archives because they’ve saved my life.

Now onto the show…

I came home sick from work today with the flu, and I’ve had diarrhea, so fair warning. I popped a bunch of Soma’s and other gimmicks, so if my typing seems absurd, you’re right.

Info: No info on my DVR so I’ll make it up… This episode will focus on Jaimee Foxworth being a bitch and refusing to go to Sober Living. Mary Carey makes one last-ditch effort to blow Seth “Shifty” Binzer. Ricco Rodriguez whips his UFC Heavyweight sized cock out and cracks Shelly the nurse in the head. Finally, Chyna confesses to being gang slammed by all of DX, except Billy Gunn, who’s clearly gay for X-Pac.

Preview of the next B&V show… ECW was useless, Smackdown was too long, and TNA did not make Brian laugh thus ending the streak. Brian questions Vinny’s sexuality, Craig is back from banishment and back to boring us, and as usual, Granny steals the show. Does Bryan have a girlfriend? If so, he’ll probably fabe it from us, but let’s hope he didn’t kiss her with raging cold sore from last week.

270 words into the summary and I haven’t mentioned anything about the actual show recap… so why start now!

LOST for this week was damn good. We find out who is the boat owner, Daniel and the girl from MASK save the island from poison gas (or did they?), Locke and Ben work out a deal for Ben’s freedom, and Juliette and Jack finally smooch up a storm.

Fine, I’ll talk about what I’m supposed to. “Drew, I’m very into you.”

Day 19 – 7:30 AM – GRADUTATION DAY~! Everyone must now decide whether or not to enter sober living. Drew has arranged for 3 months of sober living, totally free. Shifty is in, but he needs to shave his nappy pits first.

11:00 AM – Jessica Sierra wants to know more. There are multiple beds in the home, and one is offered to Chyna’s collagen lips. Basically, these celebs are going to a half way house for 3 months and they’re being punks about it. Shelly the nurse gives them the rules. I’m not really an addict and I totally want to go because it sounds easy.

12:30 PM – Jaimee and Drew meet for one more session. Jaimee says she’s not going because she has contracts for work that she must uphold. Right. A Family Matter’s reunion show is on the horizon and she can’t miss it. Tard. Drew is not happy.

1:00 PM – 4 hours until graduation. Mary is concerned about Jaimee not going which means it will just be her and Jessica, and Mary knows Jessica is trifling. My money is on none of the chicks going in to sober living.

2:00 PM – The struggle is between Jaimee and Mary. Mary desperately wants to convince her to go. Basically, she’s just too scared to pull the trigger and wants a cop out. Before Mary can go she has a list of things to do… go to the bank, nails, tan, chemical peel, eyebrows waxed, and then go to dinner. She’s got a full day, so back the fuck off! Shifty straight up calls her out on setting herself up to fail by taking this “free day.”

4:30 PM – Treatment is finished. Drew has to let go and have faith. He’s nervous.

Damn, my DVR caught up to live TV, now I have to watch commercials.

5:00 PM – Graduation Ceremony. Drew is looking dapper as hell in his gray suit and aqua shirt. Everyone will stand up and be berated by the group individually. Shifty goes first. Ricco gives him a rosary. Sierra says that she likes music again thanks to him. Booo for Shifty. Now Brigitte stands up. Chyna sends her love, as does Jaimee (who gets choked up). Here come Chyna’s lips. She’s wearing a cross. I wonder if she got it from HBK? Bob begs her to say, “I’m Chyna Doll, and maybe I’m an addict.” She finally admits it and gets a standing O. Not an orgasm from penetration, which less than 40% of women have, an ovation.

5:30 PM – Ricco’s up. Mary says he has a big mouth but also a big heart. Ricco apologizes to Shelly because after all he was kind of a prick. Jaimee’s next. Ricco thanks her for keeping Jeff in check, yes that was buys. The white girls say she was the glue that held the trio together. Mary Ellen (Carey) stands tall. Brigitte prays that she goes to sober living. Chyna gives her props, from one porn star to another. Touching. Ricco says that ballet is going to save her life. Jessica Sierra… Shifty gives her love. Those two will end up plowing. Ricco says she has the “hoorah.” What? Is she the fucking Miz? I’m going to take some Ambien…

6:00 PM – Drew asks for plans of what’s next. He strongly urges everyone to go. Shifty says yes and joins Drew in the winners’ circle. Buys~! Brigitte bails and says she’s doing the outpatient program. Fail. Chyna says she has the will to stay sober and plans to meet with a therapist in outpatient. Epic fail. Ricco’s doing some outpatient plan too. Fail, but not epic. Jaimee decides to go out on her own as a woman and do what she has to do, which is apparently smoking lala. Disaster fail. So far Drew is 1 for 5. Mary Ellen says she’s a lot stronger and says she can be sober, what with the ballet and all. She’s going to sober living. BUYS~! Jessica Sierra is in too. BUYS~! Drew went 4 for 9 in all. Much better.

Final thoughts: This was a hell of a program. Drew believes that those who chose sober living have a great chance, and those who did not have chosen a more difficult path. I really hope we get a second season. 4 stars and many many buys.

Next week: REUNION SHOW~! This is going to be a money program. {plug}