Rating: *

-Crystal is with Black Reign. He says Eric Young is scared of monsters, and while movies are fake he is real. He is also still mad at Kaz for dying the rat. Reign plans to eat the face of Kaz. Right.

-Crystal is with SoCal Val and Black Machismo. She asks about the date those two wacky kids had. Machismo says business first, he has a battle royal to win and then he will have a date and get freaky. Val can’t wait.

-TO THE BACK and we see Brooks and Banks brawling in the locker room.

-BACK TO THE BACK with JB and he finds Eric Young. They discuss the battle royal and the PPV tag match he has with the monsters. Eric tried to save Kaz last week, but the monsters scared him.

-Ray and Devon go to weigh in. Devon fails. Ray fails.

Man Battle Royal (Winner gets to name the stipulation in their Destination X Match): Sabin, Shelley, Machismo, Hoyt, Rave, Homicide, Hernandez, Eric Young, Rellik, Black Reign, Sharky, Curry Man, Petey Williams

They all brawl and Dutt comes down for some donations. He kisses Val’s hand because he doesn’t believe in bros before hos. Scott Steiner and Rocka Khan come out to watch. Apparently Steiner is sending Rocka to the ring with Petey this Sunday to make sure Petey has proper support. Homicide, Sabin and Shelley are all gone. Steiner helps Petey eliminate Hernandez. Steiner tries to help Petey toss Young, which works but Slick Johnson sends Steiner to the back. Hoyt gets tossed by Sharky, and then Rellik press slams Sharky out onto Hoyt, he is gone. Machismo tosses Reign. He brawls with Petey, but Petey gets the DESTROYER and tosses out Machismo! Curry Man tosses Petey but walks into a superkick by Rellik. It is down to Rellik, Rave and Curry Man. Rave and Curry Man double-team Rellik, ass bump by Curry Man and then a shining wizard by Rave. They fight, Spice Rack by Curry Man eliminates Rave. Rellik and Curry Man are the final two, rights by Rellik, tosses Curry Man, who stands on Rave on the floor and DANCES! Back in, jawbreaker and then clotheslines Rellik out and Curry Man wins!

Winner: Curry Man @ 6:00

Rating: *

-Curry Man on the mic. He does the rattle off Japanese names deal, until Sharky comes in to stop the “Chinese” he is speaking. Sharky says they are facing 3D at the PPV, if they lose the match or if they don’t make weight, than they are gone from good in TNA. GIVE HIM A SHELL YEAH. If they do make weight, then they will have a good old-fashioned Fish Market Street Fight. Yeah. They will shove it up their basses. And that’s the fishin’ line.

-JB is with Angelina Love and Velvet Sky. Roxxi is walking around behind them. Roxxi had a premonition last week, which came true when Love got killed. They apologize to her, because she was right. They want to give her a makeover next week, free of charge, to show that they are sorry. They promise that they will make her a whore, just like them.

FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Tomko vs. Samoa Joe

They immediately brawl to the announce table and try to use the hammer for the bell. They fight over it, and Joe ends up avoiding the hammer and slamming Tomko into the steel post. Tomko fights back and gets a slam to Joe on the ramp. Tomko goes for a chair shot, misses and Joe then gets a PILEDRIVER on the ramp. They work back into the ring, big clothesline by Tomko and then he follows that with chops. Tomko beats down Joe in the corner, snap mare and then a NECK VICE. That’ll bust Joe open. Now he goes to a chinlock with rights to the head, that’s better. Joe escapes, off the ropes and eats a bog boot. Tomko to the floor and gets a chair. Tomko wedges it in the corner, grabs Joe but Joe is able to stop the whip, fight back and then tosses Tomko into the chair! Joe gets the chair as the ref checks on Tomko, Joe then tosses the chair to Tomko and kicks it into his face. No blood. Tomko comes back and waffles Joe with the chair. Joe gets the choke on Tomko and the bell rings.

Joe had a trickle of blood from his arm from blocking the chair shot, which caused him to lose.

Winner: Tomko @ 6:20 via FIRST BLOOD

Rating: **

-We get the new rough cuts deal. Kip stands next to his monster truck and they shoot back and forth between both guys explaining how they came together as a team. Kip says he was more dedicated and had to work out and such, while BG just talked a lot. This is like a worked shoot interview, it wasn’t bad, but wasn’t great.

-JB is with James Mitchell. JB asks about Abyss, and Mitchell says that no on should doubt him. His #1 son did what he was going to do, get rid of Abyss. Abyss is no more, he is full of shame and walked off with his tail up his ass. Mitchell then says that we now move onto WINE-O! He never listened to Mitchell either, and that is why he is what he is. Mesias doesn’t drink wine, or beer, or hooch or bathtub gin, no, he has a taste for blood. A taste that he will fulfill tonight.

Rhino vs. Judas Mesias w/James Mitchell Rhino has the drinking title with him. Rhino says the belt is a piece of crap and destroys it. Thank God. After a commercial we are back and kick off the match. Rhino controls early, tosses Mesias to the floor and they brawl. Why? Seriously, why does almost every match do this on shows when they have gimmicks that need them to go to the floor? Anyway they go back into the ring, they trade rights and a boot by Mesias and a clothesline follows. Rhino battles back, Irish whip and a reversal allows Mesias control. Russian Leg Sweep connects and Mesias covers for 2. Face plant by Mesias, he goes up top…MISSES a splash! GORE, GORE, GORE and Mesias is on his way back to Mexico.

Winner: Rhino @ 3:24 via pin

Rating: *

-Storm sneaks in after the match and gets the last call on Rhino. Storm talks shit to him as Jackie collects the remnants of the drinking title.

-Crystal is with Riesha Saeed. She reads a statement from Kong. Kong seeks peace, Kong doesn’t know Salinas, Kong will destroy her. As for ODB and Gail, they have committed acts of war and will suffer the wrath of Kong at Destination X. Homicide and Hernandez come in, Cide hits on Riesha and Kong chokes him out until Hernandez steps in the middle of them. She’s just as big as Hernandez.

NON-TITLE MATCH: Awesome Kong w/Riesha Saeed vs. Salinas

Leg kicks by Salinas, off the ropes and she eats a clothesline. Clubbing shots by Kong, she steps on her head and has to be stopped. Torture rack toss by Kong, followed by a hair mare. Salinas with forearm shots, kicks, off the ropes and then takes the spinning back fist. KONG BOMB and Salinas is dead.

Winner: KONG @ 1:40 via pin

Rating: *

-Crystal is with ODB and Gail. Gail says Kong seems unstoppable and invincible, but she has beaten her and they know her weaknesses. She will fall and be beaten. ODB says that is a good question. Gail says the better wrestler will win, ODB agrees.

NON-TITLE SIX SIDES OF STEEL MATCH: Kurt Angle © vs. Christian Cage

The winner of the match wins the gimmick series for his team, and gets the advantage in the 6-man tag at Destination X for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES! (™Don West) The match is escape rules only/

*INSERT OBVIOUS COMPLAINT ABOUT GIVING AWAY A CAGE MATCH ON FREE TV ONE MONTH AWAY FROM THE ALL CAGE PPV*

They go to the mat game to begin. Angle controls, Cage battles back but Angle looks to escape. Cage stops that, but Angle kicks him away and drops an elbow on him. Why is Kurt Angle wearing socks the way I did back in 1989? Anyway, chops by Cage, off the ropes and a running powerbomb into the cage by Angle! An we’ll take our first commercial break @ 3:00.

Back from commercial @ 7:00. Angle tries to escape through the door, fails and they go back to brawling. Cage off the ropes, a knee by Angle stops his momentum and he is back in control. Suplex by Angle and then slams Cage into the steel two times. Angle works the chinlock, Cage escapes and then eats a catapult into the steel. Angle slam try, counter into a DDT by Cage! Cage with elbows, inverted DDT and then he goes up top, Angle runs up and Cage bites his head, Angle falls and the FROG SPLASH CONNECTS! Angle slams Cage to the steel, Angle slam countered again and Cage MISSES a spear and slams right into the cage! That had to suck. Angle climbs, to the top and Cage is able to catch him, they fight on the ropes and Angle looks for a German, he pulls, Cage holds on…elbows by Cage and then by Angle. Cage climbs…Angle stops him…SUPER ANGLE SLAM! Angle goes for the door, Cage stops him and then as he tries to escape Angle gets the ankle lock. Cage escapes, climbs through the door but Angle gets the ankle lock and pulls him back in the ring. Rights by Angle now, Angle slam countered but Angle tosses Cage to the steel, gets a German, a second, Cage blocks the third and gets a back suplex that turns Angle inside out. Cage climbs now, Angle follows and they battle on the top rope. Cage kicks at Angle, ankle lock on the top rope! All right, that was cool. Cage takes a dive off of the top and pulls Angle off with him. Sweet. They both go for the door, Cage’s leg is trapped in the ropes and Angle tries to escape, he can’t so he pummels Cage. Angle then goes to climb out as Cage is still trapped by the door. Angle over the top, Cage escapes and goes after Angle. Cage up and over and they battle, and fall to the floor.

Hebner gives Cage the win.

AJ and Tomko are out and they toss Cage into the ring and Tomko locks up the door. Well we know that Nash won’t make it in now. Angle slam on Cage. Styles Clash on Cage. Joe is out and gets the bell hammer and tries to break in. He then climbs but Tomko fights him off. Angle gets the ankle lock on Cage as Joe and Nash try to break in and that is all.

Winner: Christian Cage @ 17:25 via ESCAPE

All right, they gave the faces the advantage at the PPV with the win, which is assbackwards booking. I mean, that’s a great sympathy tool there and they tossed that out the window. Secondly the escape rules actually made it rather predictable that Cage would “get a win back” in this circumstance. The beat down was good since the heels are disadvantaged and had to do something. Good match, and this does show that they don’t have to take three to four commercial breaks for a good long match like this.

Rating: ***¼