King of the Ring - First Round matches:

Chris Jericho Vs MVP: MVP taps to the Walls of Jericho.
Winner: Chris Jericho (Time 5:11)

CM Punk Vs Matt Hardy: Hardy tries a double leg nelson out of Punk's GTS, but Punk sits down and hooks the legs for the three.
Winner: CM Punk (3:50)

The Great Khali Vs Finlay: Khali dominates but gets dq'd for refusing to stop being a bad boi by five. LAME. Big Show comes out afterwards causing Khali to walk away very slowly.
Winner: Finlay (2:00)

William Regal Vs Hornswoggle: Hornswoggle is helping Finlay hobble off as he finds out about this match. Regal makes him tap straightaway to the Regal Stretch.
Winner: William Regal (0:17)

During all that we got to see a SmackDown Vs Raw version of Hillary Vs Barack. Obama came out Batista style but dressed like Monk, whereas Clinton came out to Mickie James's entrance which was just plain wrong.

We also learn that the four-way WWE Title match at Backlash will be an elimination match. JBL gives a taped promo about how the cream always rises to the top. I guess he sees himself as mighty creamy.

Shawn Michaels and Batista have another in-ring therapy session. Batista comes out to Barack Obama's entrance. Shawn asks Dave if he really is actually jealous because he wanted to be the one to retire Ric Flair? Batista says no, in fact this isn't about Flair at all anymore, it's about HBK and how he got where he did in the bizniz. Big Dave is sick of talking, and vows to finish this at Backlash: little Shawn admits he is what Batista says he is, with all the blood on his hands, and it's that man who will be facing Batista at Backlash. Both men got cheers, both got boos, and the crowd were dying to see them get physical. I'd say this programme is working.

Bob Holly Vs Carlito: I've got a great gimmick idea: BxB Holly. The dance routines would be tremendous. This match had less of Holly smacking Carlito hard in the face than I would have liked. Carlito works over the lower back, meaning Holly can't get him up for the Alabama Slam and Carlito wins with the Backstabber. Santino starts to give another brilliant promo after the match, but Cody interjects and the champs chuck the challengers out of the ring.
Winner: Carlito (5:03)

King of the Ring - Semi-finals:

Chris Jericho Vs CM Punk: Starting with dropkicking the rope as Punk attempts a springboard, Jericho works over the lower back. They do a near-fall roll up sequence, and Punk gets two from a quick powerslam. Jericho escapes a GTS and hits a Bulldog, then puts on the Walls after Punk had got his knees up on a Lionsault. This seems like a good place for a finish, but Punk manages to get to the ropes, which raises a few boos. Jericho is sent to the apron and Punk kicks him as he tries to re-enter, before hoisting him into position for the match-winning GTS.
Winner: CM Punk (6:22)

William Regal Vs Finlay: Finlay is selling his knee big time following his earlier match, whilst Regal is walking round excitedly like he's actually gonna win the whole thing. The match itself is exactly as you'd expect from these two: technical and hard-hitting. Also as you'd expect it's far too short. Unlike his midget son before him, Finlay doesn't tapout to the Regal Stretch: he passes out instead.
Winner: William Regal (3:39)

Hillary Clinton (W/ Bill) Vs Barack Obama (W/ fake ears): (Democratic Primary Presidential Smackdown) Surprisingly this is not the worst thing ever presented on television. It's not exactly good, but I don't think there'll be any thinly veiled apologies on the show next week. Both candidates come out and give a little speech, with the fake Bill being the real star. Hillary starts with a double leg takedown, then hits a bodyslam and the Legdrop of doom. Barack comes back with a kneelift and the Barack Bottom. A people's elbow is averted as Bill trips Obama ("I did not have illegal contact with that candidate"). The ref starts the count, but Umaga comes down causing a dq.
Winner: John McCain (2008)

Umaga gives Barack the deadly thumb of death, then, after Bill runs away, Samoan drops Hillary.

Maria leads a punnet of Divas down to the ring, to congratulate Mickie James on defeating Beth Phoenix. Mickie bounces out and it's hugs all round. Mickie's thank you speech is interrupted by Beth Phoenix and a horde of evil Divas. Beth says that it's not a question of if she wins her title back: it's when. Things get physical, and the faces clean house.

Apparently, Mr Kennedy is returning next week. Has he been somewhere?

King of the Ring Final:

William Regal Vs CM Punk: Ross and Lawler push the fact that Punk has had a much harder road to the final. Regal deserves the win based on hair alone. At least he washes his. Punk starts off with kicks and knees, but Regal suplexes him and locks on a bow and arrow hold. Many stiff strikes are traded, before Regal avoids a GTS and locks on the Regal Stretch. Punk fights it, but some crossfaces soften him up, the hold is locked in, and we have a new king.
Winner: LORD KING STEVEN WILLIAM REGAL (4:07)

HHH and John Cena have given taped promos earlier in the evening saying the same old things, so before the main event, Randy Orton runs down his accomplishments and tells us all how he will once again be successful in keeping his title.

Randy Orton, JBL, Chavo Guerrero & Edge Vs HHH, John Cena, Kane & Undertaker: Orton pretends to want to start the match, but Edge attacks Undertaker from behind as the bell rings. Taker quickly takes control and does his Old School thing. As we return from a break, Edge is in control of HHH, but he runs right into a spinebuster. HHH tags in Cena, who knocks Edge down a few times, but is low-bridged by Chavo. The rudos take their turn at beating on Cena, at least three of them do: Chavo is just left to stand around, bless him. Cena finally gets the hot tag to Kane, and Chavito plays his role in the match by getting chokeslammed and pinned. I guess I'm only nearly psychic then, as Edge spears Kane before he can pin Chavo, to steal the victory for his boys.
Winners: The bad guys (11:00)

Lots of finishers are hit in the aftermath, culminating in a double chokeslam from Taker to JBL and Orton. Impressive. Undertaker is last man standing as the show goes off air to his music.

Oh yeah, three people did these pre-taped promos using lots of wrestlers catchphrases. I think they were politicians or something. Whateca.

Note to webmasters/reporters: When recapping news from this site or from our newsletters, please include a link to www.f4wonline.com as opposed to "From F4W", "From Figure Four Weekly" or derivatives. Thank you!

For the most in-depth and detailed news and analysis on pro-wrestling and MMA, always turn to Wrestlingobserver.com/Figure Four Weekly Online, the #1 website of its kind on the Internet. Members receive online access to both the Wrestling Observer and Figure Four Weekly newsletters and growing archives, Wrestling Observer Radio with Bryan Alvarez and Dave Meltzer three times per week, the popular Bryan and Vinny Show twice per week, additional radio shows including Figure Four Daily with Alvarez, Mike Coughlin's Five Star Radio, the Dr. Keith Lipinski Show, The Adam and Mike Big Audio Nightmare, and the Karl Stern Wrestling History Show, the infamous BOARD, and more! Members also have full access to the thousands of hours of audio in our radio show archives which date back to 2005. For your convenience, we offer secure online payments using your VISA, Mastercard, American Express, Discover card or PayPal account. Don't miss out on the fun, sign up now!

Want full access? QUICK AND EASY $9.99 SIGNUP!