ECW TV Report for April 22, 2008.

From Greensboro, NC.

It’s pretty much established that Mike Adamle is the worst announcer working full-time in wrestling today. So I’ll refrain from knocking every awkward moment or missed call and just point out the genuinely horrible stuff.

Tommy Dreamer & Kelly Kelly v. Mike Knox & Layla

The girls started with Kelly getting the advantage with kicks and a clothesline. As Layla went to the corner, Adamle claimed she couldn’t “wait to touch . . . tap Mike Knox.” Not only does he not the names of any moves, he cannot identify a tag. Knox quickly got the better of it. After a minute or so, Dreamer broke out of the heat segment with a bulldog and made the hot tag. Layla slipped out of Kelly’s attempt at a rocker dropper and Kelly responded by slipping out of suplex. Kelly then applied the rocker dropper for the win. After the match, Knox hit Dreamer from behind with his version of a swinging neckbreaker. This was fine for what it was.

Dreamer & Kelly (x) d. Knox & Layla (o), Pin, 2:45, ¾*.

They replayed abbreviated excerpts from all three of the prospective presidential candidates.

Jimmy Wang Yang v. John Morrison

The Miz appeared on commentary. Yang hit a nice huracanrana and clotheslined Morrison out to the floor to begin. Yang was thrown down going for another rana (I think that’s what he was going for) leading to Morrison going to work on the legs. Miz rags on Adamle for ‘the Tazz’ and Adamle promptly rebuts by blowing the call on an enzuigiri. I couldn’t resist that one. Anyway, the enzuigiri leads to Morrison getting to show off his superb monkey flip bump. Yang was caught off the top rope but Morrison missed coming back off himself with a split-legged moonsault. Yang then won with a moonsault of his own. The match was strong for what little time it was given. These guys almost always deliver in the ring but the fans cannot get fully behind it, as in between the matches, these guys get buried. Take the Raw 17 on 2 main event or last week’s main event of this show for recent examples.

Yang d. Morrison, Pin, 2:59, *½.

The Raw Rebound was an extended review of last night’s King of the Ring tournament. I like the choice of Regal as the winner as he was really the only guy in the tournament who genuinely would be elevated by winning. I wish the match had gotten main event billing as the eight man match will mean nothing next week whereas there is (presumably) something that will be a part of storyline for months.

The announcers ran down the Backlash card. Kofi Kingston offered Shelton Benjamin a handshake backstage in advance of their match later tonight. Shelton refused and guaranteed victory.

Kofi Kingston v. Shelton Benjamin

Kofi hit a strong dropkick to begin but was caught going for a crossbody as Benjamin hit a shoulderbreaker. Shelton went to an arm bar one minute in the match, making it 14 out of the last 15 matches that he has used a rest hold (including the last week’s 8-man tag). He did some more work on the left arm before he was caught off the top rope with a Kofi dropkick. That led to a near fall. Shelton then went right back to the arm bar. Both guys at least did some nice mat work from that position. Back standing, Kofi landed a sloppy trouble in paradise for the abrupt ending. The match was way too short to accomplish its goal of elevating Kofi. And knowing how short the match was going to be, was there really a need for an extended rest period?

Kofi d. Benjamin, Pin, 3:54, ¼*.

After reairing the comedy segment last night involving the impersonators and Umaga, Mike Adamle congratulated Sen. Clinton for winning the Pennsylvania primary. (He didn’t mention the most important thing which is the margin of her victory).

Mark Henry v. Nunzio

The match began without any introductions or entrances. Henry worked him over in the corner and pinned him quickly with a slam. Nothing to note here except Adamle referred to the company’s website as “WW.com”.

Henry squash, 1:15.

The Cutting Edge with Kane as a guest concluded the program. Edge was accompanied by Ryder and Hawkins. He told us not to adjust our sets and that in fact, he had come to ECW as if the brand extension means anything at this point. Edge brought out “the man who he beat last night.” Edge expresses his frustration at how everyone thought Taker and Kane comprised the most dominant family in wrestling (they weren’t on that DVD). Edge remarked that his parents must be so proud, Kane retorted that his parents are dead. Did we ever get a conclusive answer to whether Paul Bearer is dead in storyline or not? Edge then had the near impossible task of trying to sum up the history of the Kane character up to when Lita left Kane for Edge. He then brought up when Kane injured him causing him to forfeit the world championship. He was OK with that because that led him to Vickie and his new family. Kane said that after Backlash that he would have no family left save for Vickie and that Undertaker and he “would take good care of her”. That’s frankly disturbing given who they are speaking of. Aside from that, Kane’s delivery at carrying out these soap opera storylines is poor as it just does not play to his strengths. Anyway, Chavo and Bam Neely ran in and the heels overwhelmed Kane. Chavo belted Kane with a chair to the knee several times while the others held him down as the show went off the air.

Final Thoughts: With no match going past the four minute mark and a forgettable final segment, this show was fairly useless even by the usually low standards of ECW. Frankly, there’s not much more to remark than that except I want to reiterate how poorly they are booking John Morrison. Of all the guys on the roster under thirty, I would argue no one has a stronger combination of current ability and long-term potential save for someone like Randy Orton who’s already there because of a sustained long-term push. It’s hard to figure why they do not get behind him more since their usual biases of him not being homegrown (he’s a Tough Enough alum), not having a good look and not paying his dues do not apply here.

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