by Mr. FIP, BIG D

Alright so to recap: last month, shit happened. The Black Market had been attacked by two mysterious masked men who revealed themselves to be Jon Davis and Kory Chavis, collectively known as the Dark City Fight Club. Also, Jay and Mark Briscoe returned from their hiatus to make their intentions clear to the YRR - They want the FIP Tag Team Titles back. The YRR themselves will have their hands full with not only the Briscoes, but Delirious and Tyler Black as well. Also, while we thought we'd seen the last of the Heartbreak Express in FIP that turned out to indeed not be the case, as Sean and Phil are back and have formed a new stable known as Heartbreak Enterprises, introducing the first two members: Rex Sterling and Damien Wayne, who got a hard-fought victory over Seth Delay and the Artist Formerly Known as Jigsaw. Aries failed to capture the FIP title from Roderick Strong and Larry Sweeney came close, but also failed in obtaining the Ring of Honor title.

During the ROH shows on Wrestlemania weekend, Erick Stevens and Roderick Strong were scheduled to continue their feud in a match, but it turned into a wild, bloody brawl that left both men beat. Roderick's group, the No Remorse Corps, ran in and beat Stevens down, allowing Roderick to shave his head. It was announced on fullimpactpro.com a few weeks later that at the next FIP show, they would battle for the FIP title in a Last Man Standing Match.

Full Impact Pro returned to the FIP Arena in Crystal River, Florida for "Dangerous Intentions 2008" on April 26.

We opened with the usual. Johnathan Gold introduces us to the show, plugging Roderick Strong vs. Erick Stevens in the Last Man Standing FIP Title match tonight. Pretty decent crowd, probably close to 300 fans. Definitely not as packed as the February show was, which honestly surprises me consider all the build-up for this main event. Without wasting any time, we get to our first match of the evening.

Match #1: Jigsaw defeated Chasyn "Not-Cocky" Rance (w/ girlfriend #241) of the YRR. Not a bad little opener. Started off with lots of chain-wrestling. Jig got the heat early and ran wild until Chasyn cut him off. They quickly went into the nearfalls early since it was an opener. Lots of cheers for Jigsaw. He's a really good worker despite the fact that we didn't see a lot of his crazy high-flying tonight as usual. Jigsaw won when Chasyn went for a Code Red sunset flip (also known as the Yoshi Tonic) and Jig dropped him right on his head DANGEROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS~!. Nice, basic opener. (**)

After the match, the rest of the YRR ran in to attack Jigsaw. Oh shit, Sal Rinauro got a haircut. It must mean he's turning hee... nevermind. So anyways, Kenny King, Jason Blade, Chasyn Rance, and Sal Rinauro beat the hell out of Jigsaw until Jay Briscoe ran in for the save. Eventually the numbers got to Jay and he was beaten down until Austin Aries came out to save them all. Aries then cut a promo on the YRR and says that even though Mark Briscoe is out of action, he's got Jay's back in FIP and ROH and tonight, they will capture the FIP Tag Team Titles from the YRR. So yes, tonight it will be the YRR of Kenny King and Jason Blade defending against Jay Briscoe and Austin Aries (subbing for Mark Briscoe).

The Ultrageek Chris Jones comes out for a match. Then, Heartbreak Enterprises~! comes out. Superstar Sean Davis cuts a promo about the premier of the HBE last month in Crystal River and says that he showed what they can do in tag team competition, but tonight they will get a chance to display their talents in singles competition. As usual, Sean tells everybody in Crystal River to SHUT UP~!, which NEVER GETS OLD! He then introduces the newest member of Heartbreak Enterprises. A legend of this business who was even worked with RIC FLAIR~!. It is.... BABYDOLL!!.. ... Huh? BABYDOLL?... OH SHIT IT IS BABYDOLL! Yeah, the real Babydoll is in FIP. The issue is, about 5% of the crowd there really knew who she was. This leads to...

Match #2: Rex Sterling of Heartbreak Enterprises defeated Chris Jones. Vanilla Midget vs. Vanilla Midget. Shenanigans on the outside. Lots of interfierence and distracting of the ref, Memphis style. Lots of heat for the shenanigans. Rex Sterling had control of the majority of the match until Chris made his comeback. Unfortunately, his overall geek-ness took over, as when he regained control, he once again asked the crowd "should I hit him?" They chanted yes, and when he was about to actually do something, Sean trips him from the outside, so Chris turns around and dropkicks Sean through the apron, turns around, and eats a SUPERKICK to the face from Sterling for the threecount. Geeks I tell you. (**)

After the match, "Kool" Seth Delay comes out and challenges Damien Wayne, the other member of Heartbreak Enterprises, to an impromptu match, so away we go.

Match #3: Damien Wayne of Heartbreak Express defeated Seth Delay. Basic old-school wrestling match. Lots of basics early. Delay ran wild but got cut off. Wayne gets the heat on Delay. The two exchange a handful of really crisp moves and nearfalls. Even though sometimes I joke about these guys, they're definitely two really good indy workers. Wayne has a very clean vertical suplex. Delay is very crisp and Wayne as a heel seems like a natural fit. A few more shenanigans on the outside as expected. Finish came when Seth went for his bad-ass moonsault legdrop, but missed. Wayne then caught him in a SICK JUMPING PILEDRIVER~! for the win. (**1/2)

Johnathan Gold officially announces the FIP Tag Team Title Match for tonight between the YRR and Jay Briscoe and Austin Aries. He then introduces FIP World Heavyweight Champion Roderick Strong. Roderick gets in the ring and cuts a VERY GOOD in-ring promo about the history between he and Erick Stevens, which started seven years ago, when they both wanted to break into the business and become the best in the world. Roderick reminds us of his long chase for the FIP title and his wars with Bryan Danielson for the belt until he finally won the belt late in 2006. He says that nobody had the drive as much as he did, including Stevens, so when he took the belt in December in New York, he took it personal. He promises pain tonight. I can't wait!

Match #4: FIP Florida Heritage Champion Sal Rinauro (w/ new haircut) defeated Delirious to retain the title. I've used the words shenanigans quite a few time but man, I MUST call Shenanigans on this one. In fact, if you summed this match up into one word, Shenanigans would be a good one. Or maybe Goofy. Following last month's show, the fans began to call Sal a chicken early on. Huge chicken chant. This was funny considering we're in Crystal River, full of rednecks, and I'm positive a few of them fuck chickens, but they chanted it at him anyways. This went on forever. Literally. These guys did not lock up for AT LEAST TEN MINUTES~!. On DVD, this WILL BE an EPIC FAIL~!. At one point, Sal went to the outside and said that if they don't stop calling him Chicken, he would take the Florida Heritage Title, throw it in a river, and leave Florida. Bad idea. Never ever say you'd willingly throw away a title because it GREATLY demeans it. Delirious then got on the mic and told Sal that he would make him "Lay an Egg" in perfect English. Anyways, after these guys channelled the spirit of Larry Zybysco, we finally saw action. Delirious got the heat early with pure comedy spots. Sal got serious and made his comeback. Beat him down until Delirious made a comeback with a series of oddly placed headbutts. This ruled. Delirious hits the Panic Attack followed by Shadows over Hal. He then slaps on the Cobra Stretch. The YRR comes out and tries to distract Delirious. Delirious gets a roll-up for a 2 count. Kenny King distracts the referee while Jason Blade tries to attack Delirious but failed. During this time, Sal regains his composure and hits a springboard spin kick and covers for the pinfall. (***1/4). Good match, but if you get the DVD looking for wrestling, prepare to fast forward the first 20% of this match.

Black Market comes out. Not as big of a pop as usual. Odd. Very Odd. Anyways Joey Machete procedes to cut down the Sean Davis of the Heartbreak Express (who was doing commentary). He then turns his attention to the DARK CITY FIGHT CLUB~!. He says going after a man's family CROSSES THE LINE~!. Doesn't TNA want us to do that? Anyways, Kory Chavis and John Davis (The Dark City Fight Club) come out and attack them to start the next match.

Match #5: The Black Market wrestled The Dark City Fight Club to a no-contest. This was wild. Lots of brawling around ringside, near the entrance, and into the crowd. Geeks chant "Kill Black Market". Won't happen in Florida. Earlier I said we had a Larry Zybysco moment during the Delirious/Rinauro match with all the stalling. Well here we had a Michael Hayes moment. Some ignorant prick in the crowd begins to call Chavis a "black mother fucker" and APPARENTLY used a racial slur at some point. Now because Chavis is a professional, he ignored it. That or he didn't hear it. Well whatever, shit hit the fan later. They continued to brawl with chairs and whatnot. Typical Black Market brawl. It ends with Chavis and Davis attempting to light Joey and Shawn on fire. They poured gasoline on Joey and were about to do it until all the babyfaces ran out of the lockerroom to chase them off. Haha... Memphis. At this point, from my vantage point, it APPEARED like this fan yelled another racial slur at Chavis. This IS Crystal River and there are lots of rednecks who have that 1970s southern mentality. Population is like 1,000. I'm from Tampa and am hispanic by the way, so no affiliation. So Chavis SCREAMS at this fan. The two have a big jarring of words. The fan acts like he's gonna throw a chair at him. YEAH RIGHT! I'm not sure if this was just Chavis looking for heat but I REALLY think he was PISSED at this pissant. Chavis looked like he was really going to open up a can, but Davis took him to the back to calm him down and they left. Afterwards, the guy talking all that shit looked like he was about to cry. HUMBLED~! COMPLETE FUCKING HUMBLING~! Remember in that movie Casino. "What Happened to the Tough Guy?". HAHAH! This was GREAT~! (**1/2) (but the shit with the fan was ****1/4).

So we moved on. Joey and Shawn were helped to the back. This feud is far from over.

Match #6: Tyler Black of the Age of the Fall defeated Davey Richards of the No Remorse Corps. Match began with SPITTING. Yes, Davey spit in Tyler's hand when he attempted the handshake, and then Tyler spit in his face. This was a GREAT match and definitely the best of the night. People who say Davey is like Dynamite Kid aren't kidding. Maneurisms and style are very similar. Tyler reminds me of an indy CM Punk, only more athletic. This match had tons of stiffness. Tyler got the advantage early until Davey started to kick the shit out of him. Davey doesn't hold back. This man is INTENSE. To the point where if fans hold their hands out to get the "slap", he kicks the hands away. He does not care. Anyways, Davey pounded on Tyler. Lots of reversals. We saw the Texas Cloverleaf at one point. Lots of nearfalls late in the match. Tyler hits an inverted TKO for a 2 count. Davey gets the advantage again until Tyler hit the Small Package Driver DANGEROUUUUS~!!!!! for the win. Fucking Awesome! (***3/4). Nice clean finish.

After the match, YRR attacked Tyler Black until Jay Briscoe and Austin Aries made the save, which segued into...

Match #7: FIP Tag Team Champions Kenny King and Jason Blade of the YRR defeated Austin Aries and Jay Briscoe to regain the titles. This was actually very much unlike most Briscoe matches. I feel it was a little bit disorganized, but it wasn't as crazy as most. Real back and forth action and they didn't do ten million hot tags. They did one and it was BIG. This was a HUGE HOT TAG and the crowd went nuts for Aries. Aries did his usual spasm-looking offense. Chasyn was out there for shenanigans. I don't really remember too many specific spots here that stood out other than the finish. Aries and Jay set up Kenny King in the corner. Aries was going to hit him with the flying dropkick in the corner, but Blade threw Briscoe in front and Briscoe took the kick to the back. Ouch!. We then had a roll-up with the feet on the ropes for the cheap win. Pretty decent tag match, but nothing out of the ordinary. Kenny King saved a lot of the big moves he showed at ROH for another show. (**1/2)

Afterwards, the YRR attempted their usual post-match beatdown until Black came out. Black then said that his buddy, the leader of the Age of the Fall, Jimmy Jacobs, would be in FIP next month and that they would run wild on the YRR. Sounds like a plan!

So here we are, Main Event Time

Match #8: FIP World Champion Roderick Strong defeated Erick Stevens (w/o mohawk) in a Last Man Standing Match to retain the title. This has to be the absolute most fucking INSANE Last Man Standing Match that I've seen in a LONG time. 80% of the match was fought outside of the ring. If anybody has been keeping up with this feud since it's inception late last year, you'll know these work a very stiff, relentless, bruising style with lots of chops, HARD forearms to the face, and UNPROTECTED KICKS to the face. These fuckers DO NOT HOLD BACK when they fight in the ring. Yeah, this was more of that. They brawled all around the National Guard Armory, destroying all of the chairs. All you heard was loud fucking chops and THUMPS of the bodies. This was BRUTAL~! They fought to the concession stand and teased going inside, but instead went to the ring, where Roderick ripped off a piece of the guard rail and set it up against the apron and put Stevens through it. SICK. There were drinks and chairs everywhere. A complete mess. At one point, Stevens set up chairs on each corner between the top and middle turnbuckle and bashed Roderick's head into three of them WITHOUT MERCY~!. Isn't this suppose to be a worked business? They continued to have a war and the main gist of it was, Roderick was pounding Stevens and Stevens would fight back every chance he could, but kept getting cut off. So it was a new-school match with old-school babyface/heel mechanics. Worked beautifully here.

So they continued to hit each other very hard until Roderick set up a very bizarre series of chairs stacked on each other. I made the comment that it looked like he was playing JENGA with the chairs. He had four open and like four in the middle. It was strange. Anyways, Roderick suplexed Stevens from the apron through this... structure... of chairs and by gawd youd think the man's spine had cracked. This was absolutely disgusting. What would Frank A. Gotch say? So the ref began to count the 10 (remember, this is Last Man Standing rules, your opponent must stay down for a 10 count). Stevens got up at around 8 to 9. They finally got the ring where Stevens got the advantage with some combo moves, concluding with the Choo-Choo Clothesline in the corner and the Doctorbomb. Roderick got up at 9. They continued to fight and teased a Doctor Bomb from the top, which Roderick got out of. Roderick brought more chairs in the ring. He hit the Gibson Driver. Stevens got up at 9. Roderick then proceeded to kick Stevens as hard as he could in the face with his infamous "Flying Kick of Pain and Suffering". If you've watched any Roderick Strong match, you're familiar with this kick. It's when he cocks back and does like a flying Yakuza boot to your face. Well he hit Stevens with about three of these and he kept fighting up. This man will not die. So Roderick gets an idea. AN IDEA~!. He puts a chair in the corner between the top and middle turnbuckles. Then he sets Stevens head against it and places another chair on Stevens' face. Kind of like a corner conchairto, but MUCH MUCH nastier. Roderick goes to the other corner and hits another "Flying Kick of Pain Suffering". It's official, Stevens has brain damage. He doesn't get up from this one and Roderick retains.

What a fucking STIFF WAR~!. These guys continue to push the envelope month after month, show after show. How can they top this? Are they going to bring a GUN to the next match? Is this the blowoff, or will Stevens continue to hunt Roderick? I guess we will have to wait, but my God, if this IS the blowoff, it's tough to find a better one. This match will be HARD AS FUCK to top. (****3/4)

Overall, Dangerous Intentions 2008 will be remembered for having an absolutely terrifying main event and a decent, if a little bit skippable, undercard. But who cares really. Roderick Strong vs. Erick Stevens continues to be my favorite feud in wrestling to watch right now other than Vince McMahon vs. The Internets. Get the fucking DVD when it comes out for THIS match. Next month, Full Impact Pro will run TWO shows (something they haven't done for about six months. Full Impact Pro returns to the National Guard Armory in Crystal River, Florida on May 30th, 2008, then the following night, May 31st, 2008, in Arcadia, Florida featuring SCOTTY TOO HOTTY in action, making his FIP debut! Weird. For more information, check out http://fullimpactpro.com.

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