WWE RAW
(Commentators - Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler)

Last night, Backlash, Big Nose is back. Tremendous.

And guess who's opening the show. Tremendous. "Grrr, the Age of Orton is dead...blah blah...The Game is back". Out pops an oiled up Orton complaining of being the victim of his own success: so dominant that they wouldn't put him against anyone one-on-one. Orton wants to invoke his rematch clause at Judgement Day, but HHH smacks him on the head with the mic so Randy changes his mind: he wants it tonight.

MICKIE's Mates Vs Beth's Bitches: A straight rematch from Backlash. Beth got the win there soooooo...yup, Mickie pins Jillian. Thankfully, most of the idiots stayed out of the ring.
Winners: James & co (Time 3:14)

JBL Vs Robbie McAllister: I guess JBL is hoping to make an iMPACT on the Highlander tonight. Shockingly, this is a crappy squash, Bradshaw winning with the lariat.
Winner: JBL (1:04)

JBL gets a commentary mic and blames John Cena for his loss last night. Well, he did beat him, so that's fair. Bradshaw is challenging the winner of tonight's title match, because he wants his torch back. Can't he just buy a new one?

Paul London & Brian Kendrick Vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch: Not much new to say about a match between these two teams. One team punchy kicky, the other leapy flippy. Leapy flippy wins the day today as Kendrick rolls Murdoch up for the pin. Once again Lance is pretty pissed with his partner, so Trev' gets on the mic and starts to sing. I'm not sure why he's singing, but it's freakin' brilliant. Cade's not so impressed though.
Winners: London & Kendrick (1:57)

Has Stephanie McMahon been listening to the boys on the tour bus again?

Paul & Katie Lea Burchill Vs Super Crazy: (Handicap Match) Initially announced as a singles match, Katie Lea grabs the mic and informs us that William Regal has agreed to their request of making this a handicap match. It's the kind where you don't have to tag in, so Paul does most of the work whilst Katie gets a couple of shots in. Crazy has a quick comeback but Paul avoids a moonsault before holding Sup' up for a Kerb Stomp. Katie Lea gets the three.
Winners: The Burchills (1:59)

Todd Grisham's guest at this time is Randy Orton. Orton doesn't have much to say, he mostly stares at Grisham. Maybe he wants to kiss him like Mickie did a couple of weeks ago.

Coronation Treat: LORD KING WILLIAM STEVEN DARREN MATTHEWS REGAL is sat on his throne in the middle of the ring. Firstly, he isn't going to relinquish his role of General Manager. People aren't going to like him, but they have no choice but to respect and fear him. Just as Regal is getting going, he is interrupted by Mr Kennedy. Kennedy complains about not being invited to participate in the King of the Ring tournament, and the crowd are right with him as he tells Regal his name. The King punches Kennedy in the mouth - actually he punches the mic into Kennedy's mouth, busting a lip - and the two have to be separated by refs. Good segment.

Santino Marella Vs Cody Rhodes: As they are in New Jersey, Santino rips on the Soprano's, what with their Italian stereotypes and fake Italian accents. Santino dominates the match early, and doesn't look entirely rubbish doing so. Progress. Young Cody fights out of a Camel Clutch, hits a dropkick and tries a bulldog. Santino shoves him off, then tries a roll up with his feet on the ropes, but the ref sees it. A DDT out of virtually nowhere gets the win for that Rhodes boy.
Winner: Cody Rhodes (3:17)

Cody starts to mock Santino after the match, but Carlito hops in and hits the Backstabber.

The Highlight Reel: Chris Jericho comes down for hosting duties in a tuxedo, for a special awards edition. Jericho has an award for best actor in Sports Entertainment. First nominees: Mr Fuji and Don Muraco for 'Fuji General'. Second nominee: Michael Cole for Deliverance Part 2 (The Heidenrape affair). I miss Heidenreich. The final nominee is Shawn Michaels for faking a knee injury in order to beat Batista at Backlash. The winner is Shawn Michaels~! Out comes HBK with a very pronounced limp. If he's faking a bad knee, shouldn't he just walk out like he normally does? Michaels says he's really hurt, but Jericho tells him he doesn't have to keep up the charade, he should just look into the camera and tell Batista 'Gotcha'.

Santino Marella walks backstage and bumps into Roddy Piper. Santino mistakes him for a Diva, due to the whole skirt thing. Marella points out the irony of how Piper was in the Goonies music video: and now he looks like Chunk. Piper refuses to do the Truffle Shuffle, instead preferring to give Santino a slap.

HHH Vs Randy Orton: (WWE Championship) The two seem to set themselves for a long match - so exciting stuff it ain't. HHH gets two from a clothesline and wrings the arm. Orton fights free but spears the ringpost, so HHH goes back after the arm and shoulder. Orton gets a desperation shot in, and hits his DDT from amongst the ropes to take us to a break.

Upon returnance, Orton is battling to keep on top of HHH. A dropkick helps in that aim, and Orton locks on a headlock. HHH escapes, but Orton remains in charge and gets to stomping. Randy stalks for an RKO, but HHH shoves him off into the corner, and gets a knockdown. As they head past the twenty minute mark near falls are traded, and finishers are countered, then HHH locks in the crossface.

We cut to a shot of King Regal in the production truck, where, due to the way the fans mistreated and disrespected him earlier, he declares us all unworthy of seeing the finish to the match, and orders the show off the air. We fade to black, get a few moments of JR commentary (he seems excited) and the show ends.

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