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DVD Review
Bryan vs. Vinny: The Battel of the Empire
Produced by www.F4Wonline.com

"How much do we need to raise for a one night payoff to get you back into the ring Bryan?" – IMM

$3,310 later, the F4W Empire scheduled its first ever blood match. On one side, Generalissimo Bryan Alvarez. The fearless leader of the F4W Empire itself. Shrouded in mystery and hidden away in the dark recesses of Bothell, Washington, Alvarez is the editor, lead writer, and principal photographer for the Figure 4 Weekly newsletter. A true workaholic, often grinding out four hour workdays three days a week, Alvarez is also likely to be referred to as a "gym rat," since he is constantly trying to get his body fat percentage down from 5% to 4%. On the other side is Vincent Verhei. Also known as Bryan's Friend Vince, BFV is regarded in some circles as a renaissance man. Comic book collector. Star Wars fan. General expert in all forms of pornography. There are very few topics that BFV can't be considered well versed in, except perhaps diet and exercise.

Bryan vs. Vinny: The Battel of the Empire contains the entire build up to the epic match and, of course, the life altering match itself. Longtime F4W readers know that Bryan retired from wrestling after his infamous hair-vs-hair match with Verhei several years earlier that was so bad that it turned more fans away from wrestling than the Vince Russo-booked WCW. After IMM's question above, Bryan quoted the seemingly outrageous demand of $400 to lace up the boots again and step back into the squared circle. The loyal soldiers of the Empire came through in spades, causing the crack staff of the F4W team to go all out when it came to putting out a first class DVD. Knowing many readers were burned by the inferior quality of the legendary Iron Sheik Shoot Interview, Alvarez guaranteed the Bryan vs. Vinny DVD would be top notch.

The Bryan vs. Vinny DVD contains the following:

Buddy Wayne trains Bryan and Vinny: Released on August 18, 2006 and clocking in at almost 15 minutes, Buddy Wayne took the boys down his "training dojo" (Buddy's garage, AKA Wayne Manor) and put them through the paces. Buddy also gave Bryan and Vinny a pep talk, reminding them of their abortion of a hair match years earlier and how this match had to erase people's memory of that debacle. There is a good bit where Bryan was wrestling Buddy in the ring while Vinny could be seen the background mowing Buddy's lawn. Vinny then got his chance to do a little sparring with Buddy.

All Access: Bryan Alvarez. A near 10 minute look into Bryan's training regimen, was released on August 24, 2006. This was the first appearance of F4W Empire member Lyn. The crew were taking a page out of UFC's playbook and have cameras follow both men around to see how they trained. Bryan explained that in order to get Lyn to agree to do this, he had to buy her an $18 bottle of Grey Goose vodka. The two then went back to Bryan's condo until Bryan quickly whisked them outside so he could do his running routine. Bryan explained his regimen of running up and down a hill "at least five times" while Lyn carried a heavy metal box so Bryan's "equilibrium" wouldn't be thrown off. Brilliant! After Bryan had been running for a while, Lyn remarked that he probably had "sweaty balls." Admin Tony asked Lyn if she would be going with the gang to China Super Buffet the next day and she deadpanned, "are you asking me that because I'm Asian?" I think I'm in love with Lyn as she is just wonderful in these skits. After the run, the pair went back to the F4W condo as Bryan made the Empire Protein Shake, with added fiber. It's good to know that the Generalissimo is regular. Lyn said that the shake, "tastes like cardboard" right before Bryan guzzled it down.

All Access: Vince Verhei: Released on August 28, 2006. To quote Robert Altman, "it wasn't released, it escaped." This time Lyn got to see how Vince was preparing for the battel and even stepped into Vince's apartment, a place no woman has ever gone before. Lyn had the opportunity to see all sorts of memorabilia, including Captain America's shield and action figures all over the apartment. To show you the depths of Vinny's geekness, he had two huge Godzilla toys set up to battle each other. On one side was the old Godzilla and the other side had the new Godzilla from the movie with Matthew Broderick. Vinny identified them as the "classic Godzilla" and the "Tristar Godzilla." Who the fuck remembers that the Godzilla remake was made by Tristar?! Lyn gave the most unbelievably great look at the camera after Vince got through with describing the particular hand gestures his Optimus Prime and Unicron were giving. While going through a tour of Vinny's apartment, Lyn exclaimed, "Oh my God, it's just like 40 Year Old Virgin!" A second later Lyn was shown wearing Hulk Hands in an apartment which looks like it hadn't been cleaned in months. Lyn wanted to see what kind of cardio Vinny was doing and was surprised that Vince's workout routine including watching others play beach volleyball and walking a mile to a restaurant that served fish and chips. Vinny was able to show Lyn his original protein shake recipe (which included alcohol), but unfortunately Vinny screwed that up and got the shake all over her new shirt. Nice segment.

Buddy Wayne trains Bryan and Vinny II: Released on September 1, 2006. A recurring theme throughout the DVD was Vinny showing up late, and this was no exception. A man named "Paul" was brought by Buddy and worked out with Bryan in the ring. Paul looked like the Great Khali standing next to Bryan. On the alternate commentary, Bryan noted that Paul now works at a video game store and is happy because they didn't make him shave. Paul could certainly have a great lumberjack gimmick. Maybe rip off that Brawny guy from the paper towels. Just add some flannel and an axe. Bryan and Paul then had a heavily edited match with Dick Justice's "Cocaine" playing in the background. Bryan said it was edited because it was beyond horrible.. Bryan finished off Paul with a superkick. It is surprising to Bryan wrestle barefoot ala Kevin Von Erich. Vinny finally strolled in, three hours late. Vinny and Paul then had a quick match which Vinny won with a big boot. Buddy then began to punish Vinny in the old school way for showing up late, starting with pushups, shoving Vinny's face in a sprinkler, and then shooting a promo right in Vinny's face. Fantastic material right there.

Bryan vs. Vinny: The Contract Signing: Released on September 8, 2006. The official contract signing took place in GRANNY's house. Granny even gave a quick tour and showed where her entire collection of Figure 4 Weekly's were stored. Every issue~! (They were shoved in a closet next to her vacuum cleaner) Buddy found an old picture of Bryan with a mullet and asked Granny if Bryan was a part of WHAM! Unfortunately, Granny didn't know who WHAM! was. With Vinny showing up late, Buddy suggested Bryan instead wrestle Brent Kremen for the "retard championship." With Vinny and Bryan finally at the table, one could only have visions of the Hogan/Andre contract signing in 1987. Buddy brought out a championship belt and told the boys to, "feast your eyes and fantasize." You have to picture that during all of this there is a humongous floral centerpiece on the table that for some ungodly reason nobody moved. Buddy then read out the contract stipulations, including Bryan being obligated to get at least a nine minute match out of Vinny. Before Vinny would sign, he had his legal representation "Harry Palmer" (Dear Lord!) sign off on the contract. Bryan made sure Vinny signed the contract and then shot a terrific heel promo tearing into poor Vince. Bryan also let THE BOARD ("a bunch of goofs latching on to someone that is an even bigger goof then they are") have it as well. Vinny came back with a nice little promo of his own and claimed that when the match takes place, all the dorks will be behind him. The two got into an almost-pull apart until Granny put the kibosh on any shenanigans by saying, "boys, be careful." This was a five star moment, especially how all three guys (Bryan, Vinny, and Buddy) stopped to look at her.

Bryan vs. Vinny: The Weigh-In: Released on September 15, 2006. Bryan discusses that he had not eaten all day, nor drank a drop of liquid, and in fact had taken a "mild diuretic" and spent time in a sauna in order to prepare for the weigh-in for a fight that has no weight classes. Meanwhile Vinny, chomping on a corn dog, opined that Bryan was nuts. A shredded Alvarez originally weighed in at 165 pounds until Buddy Wayne discovered a large metal wrench that Bryan had brought with him. Buddy then reweighed Bryan and yelled out the official weight of 138 pounds. The subject of exactly why Bryan tried everything to drastically cut weight, only to artificially increase his weight at the weigh-in was not brought up. Maybe we need a No-Prize to explain that one. Vinny then stepped on the scale and began to take off his shirt until Buddy saved the day by saying, "Oh geez, stop!" Both Vinny and Buddy could not believe what the scale was reading, but the official number was not released, sort of like TNA buyrates. Oh wait, Buddy then drove Vinny to a weigh-station on the highway as it was the only scale big enough to get an accurate reading. CLASSIC! The scale rang up 400 pounds.

Time for some mat action! The matches on the card are:
Undercard match: Aaron the ring crew guy vs. The Apostle Paul - Aaron is the guy who actually owned the ring that Bryan vs. Vinny would take place in. You could hear the crowd talk in the background, including wrestling audio guru Mike Roe telling Brent Kremen that he owned the Road Warriors DVD, but had not yet watched it. Buddy the ref was wearing a sweet looking "The Road Will Own You" t-shirt. Aaron is so out of shape it's not funny, but the two had a match that certainly wouldn't stick out too badly on a Frank Goodman indy show. Not that that's a good thing. Aaron eventually won the match with a sleeper. "He had to go over," said Buddy. We then got some predictions on the main event from Brent Kremen, a kid, Bryan's dad, and GRANNY~!

Main event match: The Battel of the Empire~! BRYAN vs. VINNY - Bryan came out to the ring to Tupac and Dr. Dre's "California." Vince then came out to Stan Bush's "The Touch" from Transformers: The Movie soundtrack. Ten thousand stars. On the commentary, Bryan said the music made him cry. I give big props to the recently released 20th Anniversary Special Edition DVD with a ton of extras and, believe it or not, I actually saw Transformers: The Movie in a theater. The match started and Bryan immediately slapped the taste out of Vince's mouth. On commentary, Vince said Bryan slapped him so hard that Vinny's neck hurt. Playing the heel, Bryan kept bailing out of the ring when he got in trouble. Back in the ring Bryan and Vinny had a CHOP BATTLE in the corner. WOOOOOOO! Vinny admitted to being blown up two minutes into the match. Bryan and Vinny battled to the outside and teased a spot into the kiddie pool that was sitting on Buddy's lawn. Bryan got into Buddy's face, so Buddy pushed Bryan straight to the mat. RESPECT THE AUTHORITY! Bryan then put Vinny in a sleeper, the very same hold which finished off their hair vs. hair match. Vince used a chin breaker to get out of it. Vinny caught a superkick attempt by Bryan and then slammed Bryan to the mat. Bryan took an "Ohio Valley Wrestling backdrop" before being crushed by an Avalanche in the corner. Vince went for a second rope elbow, but Bryan moved. So Bryan then went for a moonsault, but Vinny moved. Vinny then applied a figure four leglock! Bryan fought out of it and went to apply a figure four of his own, but Vinny countered the hold with a roll up and got the 1...2...3!! Vinny Wins!

A pissed off Bryan tossed Buddy out of the ring and used the championship belt on Vince. Bryan dragged Vinny outside the ring, and the two battled next to the kiddie pool until Vinny tossed Bryan into the pool in a great spot. Bryan's flipping and flopping afterward was wonderful. The pool was completely destroyed.

BONUS FEATURES: Bryan vs. Vinny contains a nice little blooper section in which had, among other things, the following Alvarez trivia note straight from Bryan himself. Until Bryan was 20 years old, he bought his sweats in the kid's section. The blooper section also has a little Brent Kremen, Granny, and everything else you love about the Empire. It also shows Vinny's body after the match...OUCH!

The best bonus is, of course, the "Play With Commentary" option in which you get a chance to watch the entire disc and listen to Bryan, Vinny, and Buddy Wayne give their thoughts on everything. This will be a big draw to anyone who enjoys the Bryan & Vinny audio shows or the Figure 4 Dailys with Buddy Wayne. Full of behind the scenes info, this commentary track was fun to listen to, if only to hear Bryan rip into Vinny.

GUEST REVIEWS: Of course, with a DVD this big, I couldn't limit my readers to my own humble opinion, so I scoured the net to get the thoughts of some of the biggest personalities in wrestling and ask them what they thought of Bryan vs. Vinny: The Battel of the Empire~!

DAVE MELTZER: When the story of Bryan Alvarez is written, there will be several key things that we all will remember. His witty newsletter TV reviews, keeping the name Gotch alive, his vow of celibacy, and being the Dexter Stuffins to my Edward Stratton on WOLive are among them. What Bryan created was the type of grassroots effort that national groups like TNA can’t come close to approaching, and had match quality that, while weak, rivals OVW. And to boot, the $3,000 payoffs that were put up by the fans, is more income than groups such as Deep South and CZW have earned during their existence. The storyline videos were great stuff that were only topped in 2006 by Frank Shamrock’s brilliance, and Buddy Wayne doesn’t look anywhere near as bad as I thought he would. Vince, on the other hand, did - but what would a website so lucha in spirit be without his Brazo de Plata to Bryan ’s Villano III. I would continue on, but as much as I like my house boy, if his fans are willing to donate $3,000 for a match and buy a $25 DVD about it, they most certainly will pay $72 for 32 issues of the Observer, which is now in its 24th year of being the leading insider publication on everything that I deem necessary for you to know. Many of the biggest names from around the world spend an hour a week going through the publication, before they suffer from double-vision and need to put it down. They then spend another hour wondering if they’ll get a real obituary, or just a title history listing, when they die at 39. We have readers in all 50 states, 10 provinces, several U.S. territories, the continents of Europe , Asia, Norwegia, America Samoa, and a few rogue nations and police states. It contains 1,825,180 to 2,694,387 words of text so small that it truly is an ophthalmologist’s wet dream. Most issues make the unabridged edition of Bret Hart’s book look a copy of Jet magazine, and if printed in normal text size would equal 34 New York Times Sunday editions stacked on top of each other.

THE IRON SHEIK: You ask me very good question, Mr. David Buran. An excellent, excellent question. You ask me about a great Mexican, Mr. Barry Albarez. Not a shootear like myself, great Olympic champion, three times champion of the world. I train Brad Rheignans, great athlete from Minnesota . Byron not listen to his Sheiky. He try and be funny, I say you have no time to be funny, you wrestle match that the people want, you see? Don’t be thinking about yourself like that gold digging fuck Ric Flair. You breaking my heart! You muss be ready, train hard, eat your breakfast good, no take too much medicine. But Boston Alvadez is no shooter in his heart like the Sheik. Never see in my life great champion wrestler lose to a jabroni son of a bitch like he did in Washington state, U.S.A. If Byron would listen to his Sheiky like he know he should, he never rolled up by that no good faggot Vince. Not Vince McMahon, great man, but that fat faggot son of a bitch. I respect Buddy Wayne! I respect Dan Gable! I never respect the gay lesbian like him or my friend Michael Jordan.. Sheiky would walk up to him, slap him like the woman he is, I put him in the camel clutch, break his back, and make him fucking humble like I did to Brian Blair. And that’s why I say all time all my life I like it very much, yes.

VINCE RUSSO (TNA Booker): Bro, this is the thing, bro. This guy writes a book blaming me for the death of WCW, and then goes out, literally backyard wrestles his buddy - doing a spot into a baby pool - and he has the gall to insult hardworking guys in this business like Tank Abbott and Big Al? It’s just not right. I helped create stars. What has Bryan Alvarez done to benefit sports entertainment? And that’s what this is, bro. A lot of people out there don’t understand that. They think it’s all headlocks and arm drags, bro. Look at Samoa Joe before he came to TNA, and now look at him. I rest my case. Who did this guy help? Jack Evans? I know that he’s really a great kid. He’s flying around doing some amazing stuff, I understand that. But, what you – and this is what the people don’t understand either, bro – what you gotta realize is, you can’t give them what they want, because they’ll get bored. I would have taken Jack Evans, and right now he’d be doing a program with Kurt Angle in TNA where Kurt would be coaching him on his mat wrestling skills, but – here’s the brilliant part of this - when they aren’t training, Kurt uses Jack like an appliance, or a wrench, or a lawn-mower, or whatever. He uses his ability to bend, and he becomes like the dinosaurs and animals were on the Flintstones doing chores, bro. I mean, how great is that, right? It’s stuff like that, that guys like Alvarez and Meltzer and all the rest will just never be able to understand, which is why I sit here, and they’re not, bro, it’s as simple as that.

TIM HARDAWAY: I already done said what I had to say. I hate gay people, which mean I hate those two guys, or whatever you want to call ‘em. Shit, did you see them in the Paper Bag Bandit? Those two are sweeter than pixie sticks. Besides the faggot in the baby blue tights looked like he stuffed his crotch.

WADE KELLER (Editor, Pro Wrestling Torch): Contrary to what some may think, I congratulate Bryan’s ability to appeal to his demographic. In fact, I think the lead-up and the match itself could be summed up with the scene of him getting tossed into the baby pool. I think this also finally answers any question that anyone had over who is the real journalist of professional wrestling and MMA, and who is, well, a guy that gets thrown into a baby pool. To be fair, the whole concept from beginning to end was somewhat amusing – I haven’t seen a ring that close to the ground since Georgia Championship on TBS – and the reality was that it fit with the kindergarten class mentality that surrounds Bryan and his website. As was the case with ECW trying to get on PPV, the Torch will soon be giving you investigative journalism to find out whether or not Bryan can be charged with fraud for bilking $3,000 from his mentally handicapped readers. Mirroring his writing style, the match lacked depth, which was a surprise considering the amount of time that was put in to develop both characters in the “wacky” (correct spelling, by the way) skits leading up to the match. Because of the Vince character being so weak, it’s even more surprising that Granny’s popularity was not taken advantage of, and she may have also been in better physical condition. The addition of Lyn was a positive aesthetic surprise, but glorifying alcohol consumption with as many underage readers as he has was -unsurprisingly - in bad taste. Saddest of all is the fact that no one has brought up veteran journeyman Buddy Wayne, who looks as if he will be the next victim of The Sickness. Now, I’ve had enough of this, as I need to get back to transcribing my 48-part Torch Talk with Scott Hall and leave this nonsense to the comic book readers with the club house mentality that put ungrammatical symbols such as ~ in legitimate written work and somehow expect to be seen as something other than a clown.. (* 1/8)

WARRIOR (resident nutjob): The Destrucity of the planet is nigh, fellow Warriors. Many times I have warned of impeding doom on the physical plane that the unwashed commoners known as humans toil, endlessly devising ways to top their miscreant actions with other more pathetic ways until their existence is so bleak that they’ll reach their chubby little paws up, reaching out to the other realm where all the Warriors lurk. But we will offer no help, and just smack them away in the same vein that sanity must have been smacked out of the drones that gave $3,000 for the thrill of two pasty, grown men slapping each other. Wretched. Especially when they could use that hard earned money on eBay to buy one of my limited edition action figures. How a man, a term loosely used looking at the cup size of his opponent, puts himself in the position to embarrass himself and his family in such a way is surely just a crumb off the larger loaf of despair that this country is mired in. One day, the righteous will take their place, eliminating bastions of stupidity such as paper Empires. These Warrior disciples will be the embodiment of the movement. Having the spirit, will, knowledge and fortitude to overcome your cowardly, immoral, illogical… (Editor's Note: We'll stop this right here, as the "review" went on for eleven more pages – front and back - and included many words that have never been verified as being real by any dictionary, spell check, or Oxford unabridged dictionary.)

FRANK A. GOTCH (legendary wrestler): Good day fine readers! It is I, Frank A. Gotch, the Diftinguifed World’s Champion Wreftler, back again to bestow knowledge upon you! As insulted as yours truly was to be so unceremoniously treated by former dojo boy, Young Alvarez, I watch’d with great interest his bout with his former mate, Young Vincent. Surely, he sold your humble champion a wooden nickel when it came to my news-letter publication, but it was to be expected from a man of mixed race. So I had to see if all my hard workings in trying to teach the boy the manly arts of grappling had paid off in spades. Plus, while having so many earthly possessions that not even Gatsby could attain, your champion longed to see the gams on that little sheeba, Granny, just one more time. Well, to say the least, a wet blanket was thrown on your stable stud, as it was truly believed a champion was sired who could gallivant across the land doing wreftling proud. Never is the day that I’ve been as shamed as so. I question the validity of the affair, as it seemed as if some of the proceedings didn’t quite seem to be on the square. But, regardless of the tom-foolery, the suppos’d wreftling was vile hog-wash. It looked like two dumb animals using silly shenanigans attempting to replicate the sport of kings. Balderdash! Young Alvarez when did I teach you berating of officiating? And for heaven’s sake, flippity-do’s are flippity-don’ts! One day, I will return and make Young Alvarez pay for the reputation he hath sullied. And as I have you screaming for your momma in my dreaded toe-hold, you will regain the respect you lost for your teacher, and once-again all the people of the planet will be able to bow to their humble and omnipotent World’s Champion Wreftler~!

ODELAY BROWN (message board troll): To me, this DVD is pure and utter shit. Far worse than the Best of Thunder comp I got off DVDVR a few months back. I mean, I paid 25 dollars for this and all I get is this crummy match and segments I already saw on YouTube - how lame is that? I mean, even though I hated the newsletter, I did support increasing the cost of the website, even though it was at the expense of quality. Well what did we get for our money? Seriously, did Nails use his Atari 2600 to edit this? It's horrible and it makes WSX's sucky product look focused. I'm sure Bryan will have heat with me about this - but I don't care, I made THE BOARD what it is. I am the king of the trolls. Monster Heel has heat with me, but fuck him and his ri-fucking-diculous Cowboy sig pictures. I don't care what you say ICHIBAN~! You are a total douche! Sup Bix, hate your nose. Bluefist can you make me one of your hilarious avatars and then tell me exactly what you think of it? Yeah, I value your opinion and love to see it on every topic possible. I appreciate the type of man that feels the need to post about every single thought that comes into his head. Man, sometimes when this site covers shit like this I feel like I'm being raped, I mean honestly, it costs almost eight bucks now. I have never met BRENT KREMEN but obviously he's a great friend of mine who really is crying out to me personally for help. So all of you can go to hell, and FUCK YOU BRYAN & VINNY

The Late JAMES E. BARNETT (wrestling promoter): Hey mah-boys, Jim Barnett here in heaven looking down upon all of you, and let me say that as badly as I’ve wanted to come back down there and take one last gondola through Venice, or limousine ride down the Vegas strip, I peered down from the clouds on September 17, 2006 to see mah-boys become stars. Well, mah favorite boy, Bryan that is. I don’t know why I feel I have such a kinship with this young man; it’s almost as if we could be related. It might be because we both have somewhat nasally tones, or the same sense of humor. Or maybe it’s because we share the same ideas on what a good physique is, but I just haven’t had the chance to truly put my fingers on it yet. I see some of these other boys are getting their panties in a bunch over the match’s quality, but I applaud the fun those boys had, and appreciate them giving the people what they wanted. And considering that every single last thing that you see on your TV screen every week can be directly or indirectly traced to me – including me giving Lee Majors, who was my limo driver a break, which led to him being the 6 Million Dollar Man, which led to a young man named Steve Williams using the Steve Austin character name – I think I know what the hell I’m talking about. I kayfabed myself into a life of luxury, got a photo-op of Mr. Wrestling II giving the President of the United States a headlock, helped create WrestleMania, and was on the National Council of the Arts. Now who are you going to listen to here? That’s right, mah-boy. And by the way, I heard what that cruel little basketball man said earlier, and it reminded me of all of the boys that I met over years that were jealous of my successes due to my being a homosexual. Well, kids, I’ve found one very interesting fact here in heaven: Every time that you see a rainbow, it means God is having gay sex. Until next time, be good, ta-ta.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I actually missed the entire build up to this epic match last year as it came exactly when I was moving to Florida. I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed everything as mixing comedy with a serious feud is apparently one of the hardest things to do in the wrestling world, at least it seems that way from watching one bad skit after another on WWE or TNA. Bryan and Vinny deftly walked the line with a combination of some hilarious comedy and promos for a blood feud. The elitist Alvarez versus the common man Vinny dynamic played well throughout the disc and a best supporting nod goes to Buddy Wayne himself. The All Access clips were a great idea and executed perfectly as they nailed both men and put a new character, Lyn, right into the middle of all this insanity. I talked earlier about how The Empire didn't want anyone to buy this disc and be disappointed, and I can't imagine how anyone could be. A sharp looking cover, a professional looking disc (this isn't some DVD-R with a sharpie-written title on like some DVDs) and good material when you click the play button. The boys came through in a major way with this release. CLICK HERE to get your copy of Bryan vs. Vinny, or head on over to www.F4Wonline.com for more information on the biggest battel of the new millennium.

If you enjoyed this review, then check out:
Sting: The Moment of Truth
The Ultimate Warrior comic book
Best of Japan volume 1 - If you are a fan of great wrestling, this DVD is a must. Highly recommended to those of you who, like myself, could never watch Japanese wrestling because of the commentary. This is the first DVD that I know of that overcomes that hurdle.
Verne Gagne's "The Wrestler" - This is one movie EVERY wrestling fan must see and right now you can get delivered to your door for only $6.99. What are you waiting for?! ORDER IT ALREADY!
One Night in Chyna - For F4Wonline members only, this epic review of the Chyna/Sean Waltman sex tape features screenshots (with the head of Dave Meltzer covering up anything too naughty) and guest reviews from Zach Arnold, Jeremy Borash, Jim Ross, Bryan Alvarez, Frank A. Gotch, and, of course, Meltzer.

BONUS COMIC BOOK PLUG: Buddy Does Seattle. Since both Bryan and Vinny come from the great state of Washington, what better comic to read than one of the funniest comics ever made. I'm serious when I say that many comics are funny, but very few will make you laugh out loud when reading it. Peter Bagge is one of the most hilarious authors in any medium and has a sharp and biting sense of humor that F4W readers will appreciate.

Here's the hype: Collecting the complete Buddy Bradley stories from 1990 to 1994, this volume is an intense and frequently witty blast of Seattle-based slacker dysfunction. The title character is perhaps the most honestly portrayed everyman the medium has ever seen, an antihero whose utter obnoxiousness, "who cares" attitude and disdain for everyone and everything around him make him as believable as any comics character can be. A warts-and-all time capsule of lower-class 20-something life in the birthplace of grunge rock, this dense work hurls readers into borderline-disturbing tales. Functionally psychotic girlfriends, drunkenness, narcissistic rock and roll histrionics, graphic yet visually repellant sexual episodes, an edgy sibling reunion, a squirm-inducing mixed race date that culminates in bizarre role-playing, and many other escapades of rock-bottom suburban tragedy are made bearable by Bagge's wildly exaggerated art style and savagely humorous scripts. A sense of despair pervades every panel, but readers won't be able to look away from the train wreck and will find themselves drawn further into this theater of unrepentant losers. The claustrophobic b&w images are deceptively cartoony, the perfect expression of the darkness and tension that make up Bagge's bleak comedic landscape. Definitely not for kids, this is a harsh read that brilliantly wrings uncomfortable laughs from the all-too-familiar minefield of everyday life.

Click Here to get your copy of Hate: the collected volume, trust me, you won't be sorry.

BIG thanks to the Audio Nightmare's Mike Sempervive and Dr. Keith Lipinski for their invaluable help with this review. Both have weekly audio shows on www.F4Wonline.com that you should all be listening to. No thanks at all to Bryan, Admin Tony, and the guy who created the top notch DVD cover. The back cover of this disc was pretty cool as well and I tried for days to somehow get a picture of it and either ran into a wall, or was completely no sold. Welcome to the Empire~!

Derek Burgan has been writing for the Wrestling Observer/Figure 4 Weekly~! family since October, 2005. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, comments and ideas, he can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or through his MySpace page at www.myspace.com/derekburgan

Note to webmasters/reporters: When recapping news from this site or from our newsletters, please include a link to www.f4wonline.com as opposed to "From F4W", "From Figure Four Weekly" or derivatives. Thank you!

For the most in-depth and detailed news and analysis on pro-wrestling and MMA, always turn to Figure Four Weekly Online! Become a member of F4Wonline.com and get the absolute latest insider news and commentary from WWE, TNA, UFC, PRIDE, CMLL, AAA, ROH, K-1, all the wrestling and MMA independents, Japan, and so much more, all for as little as $1.44 per week. Members get access to the COMPLETE radio show archives dating back to 2005 (Figure Four Daily, The Bryan & Vinny Show, Mike Coughlin's Five Star Radio, the Dr. Keith Lipinski Show, and The Adam & Mike Big Audio Nightmare), the Figure Four Weekly newsletter archive (260+ issues from the past five years), the entire Dragon King Wrestling History Archive, and complete access to every news article and column ever posted on the site. For your convenience, we offer secure online payments using your VISA, Mastercard, American Express, Discover card or PayPal account. Don't miss out on the fun, sign up now!

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