ECW TV Report for June 24, 2008

Taped earlier this evening from Houston, TX

They tried to add some credence to the absurd Mr. McMahon storyline by having Teddy Long come out. Long mentioned that McMahon is keeping his health private but would want the show to go on.

The Miz & John Morrison v. Matt Hardy & CM Punk

To recap, this is two ECW wrestlers holding the Smackdown version of the tag team championship opposing an ECW wrestler holding another Smackdown championship and a Raw wrestler. Care to wager a guess as to why no one cares about the draft and/or brand extension save for one night a year? Morrison and Punk began leading to a quick tag to Miz. Punk landed a round kick and fired Miz into the corner for a double team. The heels reversed the advantage and double-teamed Hardy. Miz went to a chin lock briefly. After an escape, the faces hit matching bulldogs for a near fall. Miz low-bridged Punk running the ropes as the match went to a break. The heels kept the advantage returning from break. Morrison hit an elbow from the apron onto Punk draped on Miz’s knees. The heels hit a double gut buster next for a near fall. Miz proceeded to another chin lock which Punk escaped with a back suplex. He teased the hot tag but Morrison came in with another rest hold. Punk made the hot tag and Hardy did a nice job coming in. Miz needed to save his partner after he took a side effect. Punk cleared Miz while Morrison landed a springboard round kick for a near fall. Hornswoggle ran down, providing a distraction leading a twist of fate for the win. This was a solid opening match. It was comical listening to the announcers try and build up Finlay and Hornswoggle as serious challengers.

Hardy & Punk d. Miz & Morrison, Pin, 10:27,*** .

Extreme Rules: Kofi Kingston v. Shelton Benjamin

It’s not exactly setting the world on fire, but this is one of the only feuds with more than two weeks of build going. They should have saved this for a pay-per-view. Shelton and Kofi traded exchanging right hands until Benjamin landed a clothesline. Kofi came back and fired Shelton to the outside. He went for plancha but came up a bit short and landed awkwardly. Shelton used the ring as a weapon and then the microphone. He sent Kofi into the steps and wasted some time by throwing garbage cans in the ring. Shelton landed a chair shot to the ribs and then hit an impressive gorilla press into a gut buster. Kofi reached the ropes to avoid defeat. Shelton continued using the garbage can and hit a vertical suplex onto the can. The match really slowed down at this point. Kofi finally came back with a lid to the face of Shelton trying an avalanche. Kofi followed that with several more shots to the head. Shelton went for a power bomb but Kofi countered into a huracanrana into a well-placed garbage can. Trouble in paradise finished for Kingston. Pretty good match, though a bit slow at times.

Kofi d. Shelton, Pin, 8:17, **½.

On the crawl at the bottom of the screen, they announced an online supplemental draft to shuffle some mid and lowcard talent tomorrow at noon. Adamle and Tazz ran down Sunday’s card.

Evan Bourne v. Mike Knox

Knox got the early edge outslugging Bourne. He hit an avalanche in the corner and used a double underhook into a submission. He then maneuvered into an abdominal stretch. Bourne escaped and landed a chop block, a drop kick and a missile dropkick for a near fall. Bourne scored with nice rana but was caught with a backbreaker. Knox finished with the Knox out. Just terrible booking and talent evaluation, there’s nothing more to say. This ruined what had been a fun show up to this point.

Knox d. Bourne, Pin, 3:34, ½*.

Kane v. Mark Henry

Big Show was on commentary and offered nothing of note. The match is not for the title. Henry grabbed the early advantage with a clothesline and went into a bear hug. Kane broke it and came back with rights and an enzuigiri. Kane picked up a near fall off of a low dropkick. Kane was caught going up top leading to the world’s strongest slam for the surprise win. It will now become a three-way match on Sunday presumably.

Henry d. Kane, Pin, 3:27, ¼*.

Final Analysis:

“They almost make it, except an employee pulls a cart full of Malibu

Stacy dolls "with NEW hat" in their path. They all stop: "They changed

Malibu Stacy!" one exclaims. "She is better than ever!" says another.

Lisa tries to point out that the only difference is her stupid cheap

hat. "She still embodies all the awful stereotypes she did before!"

Smithers is quick to point out, "But she's got a new hat."

- The Simpsons, “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”, 1994 (courtesy snpp.com).

WWE is rapidly becoming more and more like the feudal system where a select few enjoy all the privilege and rewards while the serfs remain impoverished no matter how hard they work or what they can achieve. In the feudal system, there is zero opportunity for upward mobility and one remains in their station or caste forever. WWE exemplifies this by the total lack of turnover in their main events. Submitted for your approval, from last week’s Wrestling Observer Newsletter:

“Here’s a scary stat. Every Smackdown world title match on PPV since 2006 has had either Batista, Edge or Undertaker in it. What makes that doubly troubling is that all three have been out during that period for long stretches of time with torn muscles. Even sicker, since the 2002 creation of the second world title, every Raw title match but two had either HHH, Cena or Orton in it. And in both of those two shows, HHH was in the actual main event as his matches were pushed bigger than the title match.”

When a new star does rise to the main event level, it is because they have been preordained as such not that they have stood out from the pack in developmental or in the midcard. The announcers made literally no mention on this broadcast of tomorrow’s supplemental draft. Talented individuals like Matt Sydal (Evan Bourne) are not distinguished from stiffs like Mike Knox who cannot work, cut a promo, show charisma, fire up a crowd or even show off a physique that stands out. (Other than that Knox is a great wrestler, though). A wrestler like JBL or Chris Jericho fails, sometimes dismally, in repeated top level pushes while a John Morrison or Matt Hardy continually exceeds expectations. Nothing ever changes. Do not be fooled into thinking last night’s draft will bring about the next great wave of WWE wrestling; remember, there have been a half-dozen drafts before. It has never led to an appreciable long-term increase in business (and rarely a short-term one either) nor has it led to a more fun product to watch. Does anyone even recall the key moves from last year’s draft, let alone those from two or more years ago? It’s meaningless to shuffle the deck when you keep the same chairs (top hands) and have the same people arranging them (creative). It’s the same old WWE with a new hat.

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