For the week of December 10, 2005
To read last week's WEI, click HERE!

The WEI is a weekly look at the events that have made an impact, both positive and negative, on the world of oiled up, hairless men that pretend to hit each other that we all so love to watch. The range goes from 0-100 with 0 being a world in which every pay per view is like Heroes of Wrestling while a perfect score of 100 would be wrestling nirvana.

New Japan tells WWE to get bent and puts Brock Lesnar and schedules The Next Big Thing for three matches: WWE, the champions of freedom of expression, tried to get a restraining order granted to would bar The Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar from wrestling in matches for New Japan this weekend along with a planned match for January 4 at the Tokyo Dome.. WWE is basically saying that Brock wrestling on these shows would cause irreparable harm to their business. I'm not sure how the hell they can prove that, but I could make a case for the writing on Monday Night RAW ruining the company. Can anyone tell me what the f--- was up with that skit on Monday in which Vince McMahon introduced Stephanie to Triple H and they basically stared at each other? In Hollywood this would be called the "meet cute" but this was so asinine I can only describe it as "meet puke." Hopefully next week on Monday Night Football the game won't be as horrible as this week so I don't find myself flipping back to RAW and wanting to rip my eyeballs out. Back to the main point though, bully for New Japan for basically blowing McMahon off and this joins Mike Goldberg turning down Jim Ross' job and Christian passing on a WWE contract to go to TNA as part of a growing list of people driving Vince absolutely insane. WEI Rating: + 4

Give it up for reader Jonathan Riefler!: Jonathon was one of the people who read my review of the Ultimate Warrior shoot interview DVD and noticed my request to see the Warrior comic book that was mentioned. Jonathon sent the comic book in question, FedEx, natch, and we will soon have a review up of this MASTERPIECE. For all of us to thank Jonathon for his incredible generosity, do a brother a favor and check some of the E-Feds he is involved in. First up is PWF and there is also the Valiant Championship Wrestling site. Check out the links and see if it is something that interests you. My sources also tell me that there was at least one other Warrior comic book produced, one in which Warrior fights Santa Claus himself! It's almost Christmas time and a review of that literary classic would be a fantastic gift to each and every WO/F4W reader. Do you have this book? If so, This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it at WEI headquarters and help us further our understanding of destrucity. WEI Rating: + 1

I finally filled up that 15 minutes of spare time I had: I got a call from World Wrestling Insanity's very own James Guttman this week. Anyone who has been brave enough to listen to my appearances on Bryan Alvarez's F4W Daily Audio show know how bad my cell phone is. Anyway, I talked to JG for a bit and he asked if I was interested in writing a column for his website. I swear to God I thought JG said it would be a once-a-month thing, but the reception of my phone makes every conversation harder to understand than a drunken conversation between Jake the Snake Roberts and Dusty Rhodes. It wasn't long after that I realized I had committed to a weekly column. The first one is already up, so check it out! I've always been a big fan of the Opinion Pieces that The Onion prints and figured I would use that as the basis of what I'm doing over at WWI. After I finished talking to JG, my girlfriend (who, as all should know by now, absolutely despises wrestling) asked what was up. I told her about JG and said that he asked me to write a column for his site. She said that was cool and then asked how much he was paying me. When I told her, my girlfriend gave her standard answer… "You're an idiot." WEI Rating: + 1

Christy Hemme and Tajiri let go: I can't remember who I wanted to win the first edition of WWE's 'Rat Search, but I know it wasn't Christy Hemme. I wanted to hate the girl but she started to grow on me, even though I'm not attracted to red heads in the least. This past week Hemme was sent down to Ohio Valley to train, even though she's about 1000 times better than Ashley and other WWE Divas still on RAW and SmackDown. As for the Japanese Buzz Saw, I was always a big fan of Tajiri and think WWE really missed to boat on him. The guy can play one of the best psychopathic heels as well as a laugh out loud babyface when given the right stuff to work with. Like most non-heavyweights, he was pretty much buried in go nowhere angles and matches, doomed to never truly get over. I will never be able to get enough of those crazy screams that Tajiri would yell during a match. Hopefully both these two can show up again pretty soon in TNA. WEI Rating: - 2

Lex Luger arrested, again: To quote a Britney Spears song, "Ooops, I did again." Lex Luger has been on quite a roll the last couple years. First he burnt his bridge so bad with Vince McMahon that he pretty much blocked himself from ever going to WWE once WCW was bought. Then he got hit with several DUI charges along with having a bunch of steroids discovered in his house after his girlfriend Miss Elizabeth died. We can't forget a short stint locked up for non payment of child support. Well, on his way to a recent show in Canada, Luger was not allowed into the country and instead sent back to Minnesota where he was immediately arrested and is awaiting a trial based on a pair of felony charges in Georgia. I would say that Lex is the unluckiest wrestler in the world but none of this has anything to do with luck. Luger is responsible for every single thing that happens to him and should count himself lucky that he didn't kill someone while driving around bombed out of his mind. I'm sorry, but I can't feel sorry for a person like Lex Luger. WEI Rating: - 3

Stacy Keibler joins cast of Dancing with the Stars 2 I'm part of the group of people who didn't "get" the first edition of Dancing with the Stars, but it was a very popular show and a lot of my wrestling-watching friends like it as well. ABC announced that the the second season will have one of the hottest WWE Divas of All Time on the roster in the form of Stacy Keibler. I'm still not gonna watch the show, as I have no interest in watching people dance (especially if the show is put against NBC's My Name is Earl and The Office), but I'm always up for a reason to put a picture of Stacy in this column. WEI Rating: + 1

A new ECW documentary DVD is out: I was alerted to this new documentary on ECW fans, called Extremely Crazy Fans, and can't figure out how I didn't hear about this until now. I can't even track down who made it. From the write-up, it certainly sounds interesting and you can't beat the price at less than ten bucks. I'm all charged up on ECW right now after reading the great book Turning the Tables, a book on the history of ECW by John Lister – and am looking forward to check out this DVD as the fans of ECW were almost just as important to the company as the wrestlers were. WEI Rating: + 1

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Sting to be on TNA PPV this Sunday: TNA has a big PPV this Sunday, Turning Point, that has a bunch of great matches, including Samoa Joe versus AJ Styles for the X Championship. TNA also promises a big surprise for the event and all indication is that the company has singed The Man They Call Sting. I'm not sure what kind of shape he's in, but Sting is definitely a big step up as a face of the company over Jeff Jarett. If the Stinger can draw some new eyes to the company, I'm certain that guys like Christian Cage, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels and Samoa Joe will keep them hooked. Meanwhile, one of wrestling's all time greatest color commentators in Bobby Heenan will be making his TNA debut as he joins Don West and Mike Tenay to call the match with Chris Sabin, Sonjay Dutt and Dale Torborg (w/AJ Pierzysnki) against The Diamonds In The Rough. Heenan is still legit one of the funniest men in wrestling and should be a great addition to the TNA broadcast booth.  WEI Rating: + 3

Eddie Guerrero used for WWE Sales Pitch: So I click over to WWE's website and what should I find? 

I don't even know what to say. WEI Rating - 7

Eric Bischoff thrown into Garbage Truck and "fired" from RAW:

Did the Bisch see the RAW ratings, House Show attendance, PPV buyrates and "creative writing" while in the trash? WEI Rating: - 4

Edge has a great new shirt: Say what you will about the attempt to do a worked-shoot with Michael Hayes on RAW, but that "Rated R Superstar" shirt is one of the best wrestling shirts I have ever seen. It is so rare to find a wrestling shirt from any company that I wouldn't find myself embarrassed to wear that I almost find myself actually wanting to send the OBSCENE amount of $25 (plus shipping of course) to WWE in order to get this baby. Compare this to all the unwearable Matt Hardy shirts (f---ing PURPLE?!!) and you'll see that the current score on that feud is now Edge 3, Matt: 0 with the wins being Lita in real life, owning Matt in the ring and now a huge t-shirt advantage. WEI Rating: + 2

Last week's Wrestling Enjoyment Index: 54
This week's net change: - 4
Current enjoyment level: 50

****WEI BONUS~!~!***

Special thanks to www.PuroresuPower.com 's Keith Lipinski, OVW Specialist Mike Roe and the one and only This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it for their help in making this week's WEI a reality.

Billionaire philanthropist Derek Burgan, who fights crime when not writing DVD reviews, has been watching wrestling since he was ten years old. If you have any questions, corrections, feedback, or goofy ideas, Derek Burgan can be reached at: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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