WWE Friday Night SmackDown! Report 10/24/08
Taped 10/21/08 in Laredo, Texas.

By Ryan Mulligan
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Last week on "SmackDown!" Vladimir Kozlov made good on his promise to
break Jeff Hardy, soundly defeating the Charismatic Enigma and inching
closer to his ultimate goal of dethroning Triple H of his WWE
Championship. This week on "SmackDown," with only 48 hours to go until
"Cyber Sunday," HHH must face his own mortality when he's faced with
the challenge of The Undertaker. Elsewhere, Kung Fu Naki channels the
spirit of Daniel LaRusso, Festus shows little tolerance for mariachi
music, and Primo Colon gets cockblocked.

This show is dedicated to the memory of Leah Maivia.

We open up with The King of Kings, WWE Champion Triple H coming out
for some promo-time. He takes offense to Vickie Guerrero, whom he dubs
an "annoying hag," forcing him to face The Undertaker tonight. He says
he knows there's a possibility he might not even make it to the ppv
now. Scared champions=ratings. Before he can surrender his title, Jeff
Hardy interrupts. He says that he's sure the WWE Universe is going to
vote him into the match against HHH (not if I have anything to say
about it) and that once he gets the match he'll walk out WWE Champion.
Hardy gets a taste of his own medicine when he's interrupted by
Vladimir Kozlov. Kozlov feels like the fans won't vote for him, but
that they'd only be delaying fate in that case, as he will assuredly
take The Game's title at some point. Hardy ridiculously has his back
turned to HHH in the ring at this point, and so Triple H makes him pay
for that with a Pedigree. Kozlov's not impressed. It's really clear
that they're pushing for HHH vs. Kozlov. Backstage, HHH walks through
a hallway with lighting issues, which means that Taker's around. They
menacingly stare at each other. Between the teleporting and the
electrical powers Taker's becoming more and more like Raiden every
week. If he starts flying, I call shenanigans.

Divas Champion Michelle McCool and Maria vs. Maryse and Natalya
At the beginning of the match, The Tazz starts talking about Eve
Torres' Ninja Turtle outfit she'll be wearing at "Cyber Sunday."
Intriguing. Michelle rolls up Maryse early on and then sends her
across the ring with the backflip arm drag. She stops to knock Natalya
off the apron, which allows Maryse to take her down with a rather ugly
clothesline. Here beginneth the face-in-peril segment. At this point,
things get whacky, as Jesse and Festus (the latter in a mariachi
outfit), followed by a performing mariachi band, make their way to the
ring. Festus once again presents a flower to his one true love Maria.
Maria is giddy. Michelle hits a somersault neckbreaker on Maryse and
goes for the tag, but Maria isn't paying attention at all. This leads
to Maryse rolling up Michelle from behind to pick up the victory for
the heels. At the sound of the bell Festus freaks out and chases the
mariachis out of the arena. In a hilarious spot, he catches up with an
overweight mariachi and starts whipping him. The saga continues.
Winners: Maryse and Natalya

Non-Title Match: WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons vs. Chavo Guerrero
and Bam Neely
If you're wondering why Chavo and Neely are teaming again, you're not
alone. Carlito begins the match with a dropkick on Chavo, followed by
a drop toehold into a diving headbutt by Primo. Chavo with an ANGRY
TAG~! to Neely, who shoulderblocks Primo down. A blind tag from the
Colons leads to a double suplex on Neely. Carlito then powerbombs
Primo onto his prone body, which scores the former a two-count. Chavo
tags back in, as the dissension increases between the former La
Familia stable-mates. Primo stops to knock Neely off the apron (shades
of Michelle McCool), which allows Chavo to lay him out with the
rolling Liger kick. Neely goes for an avalanche in the corner, but
winds up colliding with Chavo, knocking him off the apron to the
floor. Carlito somersaults his way (nearly missing Neely completely)
into the match. They botch something, but recover well enough to allow
Carlito to Roll the Dice. Chavo jumps back on the apron and slaps
Neely in the face. This leads to Neely being distracted and easy prey
for the Backstabber, which ends this one. Gregory Helms pops up after
the match to express mock-concern over Chavo and Neely's breakup.
He'll change his tune when we get the huge blowoff match at Mania.
Winners: The Colons

Kizarny.

Backstage, Michelle confronts Maria about her failure to pay
attention. Maria apologizes, but doesn't seem too concerned. She says
she has to go find her "friend" Festus. She blows off McCool, who
follows after her. Elsewhere, Primo is busy hitting on Brie (I guess)
Bella, but Carlito interrupts and totally cockblocks him. They are
then interrupted by the group of mariachis being chased by Festus,
who's being trailed by Jesse and Maria. Arguably a perfect segment.

R. Truth and Kung Fu Naki vs. U.S. Heavyweight Champion Shelton Benjamin and MVP
Helms pops up again to make a joke about MVP's losing streak, noting
that he's even lost his entrance-tunnel. At "Cyber Sunday," Shelton
will be defending the U.S. title against either Truth, MVP or Festus.
You know where my heart lies. Kung Fu Naki comes out to a variation of
"Kung Fu Fighting," is dressed like a Kung Fu fighter and works
methodically like someone from a cheesy martial arts movie. In other
words, it's no buys. He hits some slow-motion stuff on MVP, including
a theatrical arm-drag and a punch to the gut, the only bright spot of
which is Shelton's look of utter disbelief at MVP when he tags in.
Kung hits a crescent kick and tags in Truth, who goes for the Mysterio
bulldog, but gets belly-to-back suplexed by Shelton to counter that.
MVP tags back in and hits a sweet belly-to-belly throw across the
ring. That's right, they're setting up Kung Fu Naki for the hot tag.
Truth eventually fires off with the corkscrew flying forearm and he
manages to avoid landing on his opponent's face this week. Kung gets
the tag and comes off the top with a chop to the head. Truth and
Shelton wind up on the floor, and Kung gets the pin following the
"Karate Kid" crane kick. Inarguably a terrible segment.
Winners: R. Truth and Kung Fu Naki

Primo gets permission from Carlito to mack on "Brie" Bella, but when
he hugs her from behind she's not feeling the love. In fact, she blows
him off completely. TWINNED~! Primo thinks he's in love. The Great
Khali and Runjin "Epic Sideburns" Singh walk up, and Singh informs
Primo that The Great Khali says he has no game. I popped.

It's time for another installment of the epic "Khali Kiss Cam." Singh
empties a giant mailbag, claiming he has letters from women who have
huge crushes on Khali. The first is from Helga from Berlin. The second
is from Bruce from San Francisco. Hilarious! They hit the "Kiss Cam,"
ultimately choosing a cute (and rather young) looking chick. Singh's
not satisfied, though, and they then pick an overweight woman (who the
crowd pops for when she first appears on camera). Singh prevents Khali
from kissing the more attractive one just in the nick of time. He says
anybody can kiss her. Slut joke? He then asks the crowd to make some
noise, and a "Khali!" chant breaks out. Seriously. Khali kisses her
and then raises his arms and screams in victory. So far so good on the
Khali face-turn. I still think he needs a goat, though.

Kizarny.

The Undertaker cuts a brief promo on HHH, saying that he's sealed The
Game's fate, and that he may not leave the darkness tonight. Dude, you
can't just leave somebody in the darkness.

THE Brian Kendrick (with Ezekiel) vs. Super Crazy
Crazy's a proverbial house of fire at the outset, stewing over last
week's beatdown by Zek and THE Brian Kendrick. He hits a HUGE
back-body drop on THE Brian Kendrick, followed by a tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker on THE Brian Kendrick. The referee makes Crazy back off,
however, which allows THE Brian Kendrick to kick him directly in the
face. THE Brian Kendrick then hits THE Kendrick to pick up the
victory. After the match, Ezekiel lays out Crazy with the one-armed
Rock Bottom-esque move that needs a name. Meanwhile, THE Brian
Kendrick dances.
Winner: THE Brian Kendrick

Non-Title Match: WWE Champion Triple H vs. The Undertaker
There are thirty-three minutes left in this show. I think we're going
the distance in this one. Taker hits consecutive shoulderblocks on
Triple H to start. The Game fights back with punches, but then gets
BEST PURE STRIKERED~! Taker hits a running clothesline into the
opposite corner and then begins working HHH's left arm, utilizing a
hammerlock. He goes for a premature Old School, but Triple H pulls him
down from the top on that attempt. Taker goes for a running boot to
HHH's face in the corner, but The Game moves, and Taker winds up
getting harshly introduced to the turnbuckles. HHH, ring general,
chopblocks Taker down. We get the double clothesline spot, known in
some circles as "Double Jeopardy." Taker then takes over again,
hitting Snake Eyes, but HHH prevents him from hitting the big boot by
taking him off his feet with a high knee. He hits the facebuster and
goes for the Pedigree, but Taker counters that into a catapult into
the corner, followed by the big boot and a leg drop for a two-count.
Taker goes for Old School again, but winds up crotched on the top
turnbuckle. The Kings of Kings hits a massive superplex for two. He
clotheslines Taker over the top, but the Dead Man lands on his feet,
drags HHH out and rams him into the steel steps. Taker hits the leg
drop over the apron. He goes for the Last Ride, but Triple H slips out
and hits a neckbreaker. Taker fights right back with the flying
clothesline for two. He goozles Triple H, but gets kicked away,
leading to him running into a huge spinebuster for two. We then get an
awesome series of counters, as a chokeslam, a Pedigree and the
Tombstone are all avoided in quick succession. HHH goes for the
ten-count corner punches, but Taker pulls him away and hits the Last
Ride! He's too hurt to make the cover, though. Here comes the Big Show
for the DQ. He unloads with punches to Taker's face and body in the
corner. HHH slides back into the ring with a chair and nails Show in
the back, but Show manages to chokeslam him down. He uses the chair on
Taker, finishing with a final shot to Taker's skull. After a break,
HHH is just getting to his feet, when Kozlov makes his way out! Triple
H attacks, but Kozlov traps his arms and headbutts him multiple times
in the chest. He then puts The Game down with the running headbutt,
followed by the inverted ddt. The show ends with Kozlov standing
triumphant over the game.
Winner: The Undertaker

Well, they took care of the "no great matches" problem I had with last
week's show, as the main event really delivered this week. I don't
think anyone expected a clean finish, so I don't have a problem with
the disqualification or what it led to, namely keeping both The Big
Show and Kozlov looking really strong going into the ppv Sunday. With
Hardy only appearing on the show to get Pedigreed early on, it's
pretty clear who they want you to vote for in the main event. There
was some fun stuff on the undercard (the segments with Festus and The
Colons especially), but there's also been some annoying gimmicks of
late that have made their way onto the show (Helms, Kung Fu Naki, the
impending Kizarny). The show might be better served by cutting down a
little on the comedy.