WWE Friday Night SmackDown! Report 12/5/08
Taped 11/25/08 in Albany, New York.

By Ryan Mulligan
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Non-Title Match: WWE Champion Edge (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Kung Fu Naki
YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM!!! Naki foolishly begins the match attempting
to win, getting in a tornado DDT for a not-so-dramatic two-count. He
then goes fluke-victory crazy, trapping Edge in several pinning
predicaments. After a face-plant, Naki unleashes the Crane Kick, but
Edge somehow manages to kick out, perhaps realizing that he's Edge and
that he's facing Kung Fu Naki. Naki follows up on his momentum by
running face-first into Edge's boot. The spear shortly thereafter ends
this one. Fabulous television-return match for Edge here, just barely
managing to get the win after Kung Fu Naki dominated 90% of the match.
I mean, I could see if he was facing Festus, but Kung Fu Naki?
Seriously?
Winner: Edge

Post-match, Vickie puts over Edge's "masterful performance." Kayfabe.
She demands a round of applause for her champion. She then announces
that tonight we'll see number one contenders HHH and Jeff Hardy team
up in a tag team gauntlet. That gets no reaction. When she starts
talking again, gets interrupted and says "EXCUSE ME~!," however, that
gets a reaction. She says that the gauntlet can only end when HHH and
Hardy lose. That sucks. I wanted to see HHH continually pin guys in
the same match for the rest of my life. JR responds to this
announcement with some serious overstating, proclaiming that, "That's
just pure evil!" I wonder how he reacts to people being murdered.

Non-Title Match: Divas Champion Michelle McCool vs. Maria
Last week, Michelle went borderline-heel, arguing with the Bella Twins
after their collective failure and even stooping so low as to shove
down potential peacemaker Maria. Thus, the respective animosity in
tonight's battle is entirely justified. We begin the match with some
Greco-Roman catfighting. Michelle takes over with shoulderblocks and
the world's least impactful leg drop. There's some serious shrieking
going on in this match. Michelle connects with a corner clothesline
and shoulderblocks to Maria's mid-section, but the fiery redhead comes
back with a sunset flip for a two-count. Michelle quickly rebounds,
however, and fires Maria into the opposite corner. She misses with a
corner clothesline, though, and Maria whips out the Kevin Nash "I'm
going to stretch my leg by sticking my foot in your throat" spot.
Michelle counters this by grabbing Maria's foot and launching it
towards the mat with such velocity that Maria has to do a split to
avoid its being broken in half. Maria then turns that into a pinning
predicament coming out of the split. I think she just ruined Melina's
career. Michelle fires back with a low dropkick, as the momentum
continues to shift. She then applies a body scissors on the mat, which
she transitions into a headlock once back on their feet, but this
eventually leads to the jacking of her jaw. Maria's apparently now on
fire, as she's firing off with clothesline after clothesline. Michelle
kicks at her aimlessly, but Maria avoids it, stops for a second to
sell utter relief over avoiding death, and then schoolgirls her to
pick up the big victory. Maria is overjoyed following the match,
saying that she wants another shot at Michelle's title, all while the
dejected McCool looks on with a look of mournful disdain. Despite her
limitations as an in-ring performer, Maria's one of the best faces in
the company. Seriously. Try booing her.
Winner: Maria

It's time to hear what The Big Show has in store for The Dead Man in
tonight's steel cage match. He says that Taker might've won in his
style of match at the ppv, but tonight he's going to own Taker in HIS
type of match! This would've made more sense if they were having that
ill-fated Knockout Match tonight. To demonstrate how he'll do this, he
shows footage of him outstriking "The Best Pure Striker in Sports
Entertainment." He says there will be no black magic or caskets
tonight, but he doesn't say anything about druids, so I'm keeping my
fingers crossed. He tells Taker to beware the power of the punch.
Tonight, they're both going to hell (Edge says it's not so bad), but
only one of them will be coming back, and that's The Big Show!

MVP vs. Hurricane Helms
MVP nearly cries about his string of bad luck prior to the match,
regretting his inability to buy his family gifts for Christmas (sup
The Economy?), thanks to his failure of losing his incentive clause.
He says they've taken away his pyro and entrance tunnel, but they
can't take away the fact that he's still MVP. Tonight, he wants
revenge on that joke-maker Hurricane Helms! Helms gets a good pop
coming out. With a beard, long hair, a beanie and a wellness-program
physique he's looking a lot like Edge tonight. I can't picture Edge
getting a giant "EDGE" tattoo on his back, though. MVP takes over
early on, but Helms confuses him with the Hurricane Pose and delivers
a DEEP arm-drag. Helms somersaults to avoid something and then
delivers on another arm-drag. He winds up on the apron, however, and
naturally gets kicked in the head while out there. MVP hooks in a body
scissors, but Helms makes the ropes. MVP runs into a back-elbow in the
corner, and Helms flies off the top with a crossbody, which gets him
two. He goes for the Shining Wizard (dubbed "The Wizard of Oz" by JR,
but there's no way you can have both a "Wizard" and a "Mizard" of Oz),
but MVP cuts that off with an unfriendly clothesline. MVP goes for the
Playmaker, but Helms reverses into something vaguely resembling an
Unprettier. A botched Shining Wizard that hits more back than head
follows soon after to pick up the victory over the eternal loser.
Helms looks unhappy with his performance. I'm unhappy that his gimmick
had nothing to with his character tonight. Who jokes around for months
with silly insets and then wrestles a straight wrestling match?
Couldn't he at least have delivered a "Just Sayin'" moment post-match?
Winner: Hurricane Helms

Jeff Hardy and Triple H yell at each other backstage, with The Game
telling Hardy that he's just an obstacle now and asking him if he's
going to attack him with a chair again tonight like he always does.
Sick burn. They almost come to blows, but they've got a match next!

Tag Team Gauntlet:
The first match in the gauntlet sees Hardy and HHH take on Curt
Hawkins and Zack Ryder. A "Fire Ryder!" chant breaks out at the start
of the match. Careful. They might take that seriously. Hardy hits a
quick Whisper in the Wind on Hawkins. He talks smack to The Game, but
HHH manages to tag himself in behind Hardy's back. He kills Ryder with
a spinebuster and a Pedigree, but when he goes for the cover Hardy
comes flying off the top with a Swanton aimed at Triple H! HHH moves,
however, and Ryder takes the blow. Triple H makes the pin, and the two
number one contenders start shoving each other. This leads to…

the second match in the gauntlet, where Hardy and HHH must take on The
Miz and John Morrison. After a break, HHH is owning Miz with a suplex
and kneedrop capable of restructuring his facial features. Hardy tags
in, but gets caught by Miz, and Morrison enters the fray. The
advantage is short-lived, however, as HHH tags in and starts working
over Morrison's arm. The faces begin making comparatively peaceful
tags at this point, with Hardy coming in with a slam and leg drop on
Morrison. So much for peaceful tags, as Hardy slaps HHH in the chest
to get him to come back in. Miz gets in a cheapshot to HHH's back when
he hits the ropes, but he's Triple H and so he can no-sell stuff like
that, so he hits a face-buster on Morrison anyway. The Miz gets
knocked off the apron just for being The Miz. However, this allows
Morrison to connect with the Tidal Wave. Miz tags in and hits the
hanging clothesline in the corner. We get the Demoliton
double-gutbuster spot. The Miz hooks in a headlock, as Hardy rallies
the fans behind Triple H. The Game eventually fights out of it with a
back suplex. Miz misses another attempt at the hanging corner
clothesline, and Hardy tags in to a somewhat lukewarm reception. Well,
this was the second episode of the show taped on the same night. I'd
be lukewarm too. Hardy unleashes sit-out gourdbusters on both heels.
He hits the descending corner dropkick on Miz, but Morrison breaks up
the count. HHH throws Morrison to the floor. Hardy then mule kicks Miz
out of the ring onto both men on the floor and then follows him out
with a plancha onto all three men! At this point, HHH and Hardy
realize how much they hate each other and consequently start punching
each other in the face. They ram each other into the steps and engage
in a huge brawl, as the ref counts to ten and the heels are proclaimed
the winners. The fight continues on the outside, with refs attempting
to break it up. HHH clothesline Hardy into the first row and he lands
on people. Security and referees try their hardest to keep them
separated, as the segment ends. Not much of a match, as it naturally
took a backseat to the storyline, but as far as partners hating each
other but being forced to tag, they did a pretty damn good job here of
making it intense. Also, I'm really glad Miz and Morrison didn't get
jobbed out, as I feared upon seeing them come out.
Winners: The Miz and John Morrison

In Vickie's office, she and Edge are celebrating their maniacal ways.
Vickie says that next week it'll be HHH vs. Jeff Hardy! They admit to
missing each other and are moments away from making out, when Hardy
interrupts, wanting to know what Vickie wanted to see him for. Edge
says that it wasn't him, but HHH who beat up Hardy in the hotel and
prevented him from wrestling at the ppv. In a hilarious spot, HHH
walks in and tries to ask Vickie what she wanted, but barely gets a
word out before Hardy lunges at him and another pull-apart ensues.
Vickie sure knows how to schedule her guests. Afterwards, Edge and
Vickie commence with the make-out session.

Non-Title Match: ECW Champion Matt Hardy vs. Chavo Guerrero
Hardy connects with a back-elbow to cut off Chavo's momentum and an
elbow drop to start the match. He busts out the corner clothesline and
the bulldog like they're going down the final stretch. Chavo responds
with a BACKDROP DRIVAH~! Hardy fights back with another back-elbow,
this time in the corner, and the "Ahh!" elbow off the second
turnbuckle to the back of Chavo's head. Chavo takes a backdrop, when
all of a sudden VLADIMIR KOZLOV makes his presence felt by running in
and booting Hardy directly in the face! That's a disqualification. He
tosses Chavo to the floor and then hits the battering ram headbutt to
Hardy's chest. He ties Hardy in the ropes and starts unloading with
some of the heavy artillery, including a stiff headbutt and some angry
Russian yelling. In case you forgot, this was Kozlov's revenge for
Hardy stalling in last week's Beat the Clock challenge and preventing
him from becoming the number one contender to Edge's title. I'm not
sure if they're setting him up to challenge for Hardy's ECW title, but
it would be a good way to keep him strong while not having him be in
the title picture on this show for a while.
Winner: Matt Hardy

It's time for the Khali Kiss Cam, and it's Christmas-themed this week!
First we get the traditional couples kissing cam routine, but then
Singh surprises Khali by saying he has a surprise for him. Long story
short: Eve Torres comes out as "Santa's Little Helper" and kisses
Khali. This was the least painful of these segments so far, mostly
because Eve's better looking than nearly all humans and also because
of Khali's Pimp Walk on the way out of the ring. Even better, they
didn't degrade overweight women for no reason.

Steel Cage Match: The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
Show begins the match unleashing some body blows on The Dead Man. He
then sidelslams him down, seemingly not caring that he's The Demon of
Destruction. Show suplexes him down and then goes for a Vader Bomb of
all things, which mostly misses, except for the fact that his legs
landed on Taker's face. Taker splashes Show up against the cage. He
tries again, but eats a back-elbow. Show then rams him into the cage,
as we go to break.

We come back with Show continuing to pummel Taker with punches. He
rams Taker into the cage and clotheslines him off the rebound. He then
does that AGAIN! He goes to the well once too often, and Taker ducks
the clothesline this time, and a slugfest ensues. A flying
clotheslines and leg drop get two for Taker. He connects with an
avalanche, but Show prevents Old School, and both men wind up on top,
where Show is eventually able to superplex Taker to the mat in a wild
spot. Show ascends to the top and signals for something, but Taker
sits up, and Show decides maybe he had better leave. He doesn't make
it very far, however, and gets punched off in a rather theatrical way.
Taker goes up top, but decides not to leave. He comes FLYING off the
top with an elbow drop-attempt to Show in the center of the ring, but
misses big time. Show covers him for a two-count. He goes for a
chokeslam, but Taker counters it into a DDT for two of his own. Taker
goes for a chokeslam, but this time Show counters that by making good
on his previously hinted-at chokeslam-plans. Taker kicks out at two,
but hits the ropes and runs directly into the DEATH BLOW~! of Show's
knockout punch. Taker sells that by sitting up. Show responds to that
by goozling him, but Taker is able to hook in Hell's Gate, and Show is
forced to tap out! Taker wins! Good match.
Winner: The Undertaker

This was a strong episode of "SmackDown!" The storyline with Edge and
Vickie manipulating HHH and Jeff Hardy into tagging with each other
this week and next week fighting each other has been really effective.
I'm not the biggest fan of having yet another Triple Threat Match
headline the next ppv, but they've been building it up as well as
possible thus far. Elsewhere, the potential blow-off to the Taker/Show
feud produced a strong match and a decisive victory for The Dead Man.
They kept the goofiness to a minimum this week, and the only goofy
segment itself wasn't nearly as cringe-worthy as it usually is. In
conclusion, I want to thank Stephen Lyon for filling in for me the
last two weeks and for doing an awesome job. Obliged! See you all next
week.