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| WWE Smackdown TV report |
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WWE Friday Night SmackDown! Report 1/9/09 Taped 12/30/08 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. By Ryan Mulligan Email: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it This week's show begins with JR and The Tazz speaking in low, serious tones, regretting to inform us that WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend have been involved in a car accident. Don't worry, fans, the Charismatic Enigma doesn't let near-death experiences keep him down for long, and he's in good enough shape to tell us all later tonight exactly what happened. Also tonight, we'll get exclusive post-crash footage, including some mysterious cell-phone camerawork from an undisclosed source. Spoilers: this angle is setting up the return of Rikishi. Triple Jeopardy Series-Match One: Tables Match HHH vs. World Tag Team Champion John Morrison Now listen, this ain't no make-believe! This three-match series stems from The Game's uproarious mistreatment of Vickie Guerrero last week, which was highlighted by his assertion that revealing photos of the General Manager were up for sale on eBay. Oh, Triple Hach. Morrison begins the match by getting kneed in the face. He follows that up by getting clotheslined over the top to the floor. On the floor, The Game introduces the Shaman of Sexy to the ring-post. He sets up a table on the floor and attempts to suplex Morrison off the steps through it, but Morrison slips behind The Game and takes out his legs, forcing the Cerebral Assassin to take a face-first bump into the unforgiving steel. Back inside, the jealousy-inspiring one props up a table in a corner. HHH reverses an Irish whip into it, but Morrison puts on the brakes and winds up connecting with a Tidal Wave. He gets sent to the apron and comes dangerously close to taking a spill through a table on the floor, but is able to slide back in under the bottom rope. He makes the mistake of running at Triple H, however, and so the King of Kings has no choice but to spinebuster him. HHH then tries to superplex him through a table in the center of the ring. Morrison avoids that, but he can't avoid being thrown off the top through the table on the floor! Post-match, the Miz hops up on the apron and gets punched in the face for his troubles. However, here comes Chavo Guerrero from behind! He rams HHH through the table in the corner! Meanwhile, a satisfied Vickie Guerrero looks on from backstage, knowing that The Game still has two more matches to go through tonight! Winner: Triple H HHH bumps into Vickie, and the latter is quick to inform the obviously injured Game that he's only one-third of the way finished. She wishes him the best of luck with the least amount of sincerity imaginable. Non-Title Match: U.S. Heavyweight Champion Shelton Benjamin vs. The Undertaker This match also stems from events of last week, when Taker took offense to Shelton's failure to mention him as a contender in the Royal Rumble match and responded by chokeslamming him, which may seem like he overreacted, but the guy hangs around with druids and controls electricity, so he naturally goes about things differently than most. Shelton begins the match by trying to out-strike the "Best Pure Striker in Sports Entertainment." That's like trying to trade bear-paws with Festus. Sure enough, Shelton soon gets BEST PURE STRIKERED~! Taker begins working the left arm and shoulder of Shelton, ramming him shoulder-first into the corner and delivering Old School. He delivers a running clothesline to send Shelton to the floor, as we go to break. We're back, and Taker is still working Shelton's left arm. He delivers an avalanche in the corner. Snake Eyes connects, but Shelton avoids the big boot and chopblocks Taker down. He wraps Taker's leg around the ring-post, effectively grounding the Dead Man. Taker is briefly able to goozle Shelton, but Shelton goes right back to the leg. He takes Taker to the mat and continues to work over his leg with wear-down holds. Shelton makes the mistake, however, of turning his back to Taker while positioning himself right next to the ropes, which results in Taker kicking him over the top to the floor. The apron-leg drop follows. Back inside, however, Shelton SWEEPS THE LEG~! Shelton goes for the ten-count corner punches like he's a babyface, but Taker catches him and goes for the Last Ride, which Shelton counters with a DDT! Two-count! Shelton goes for a Stinger Splash, but gets goozled in mid-air! Chokeslam! It only gets two! Another chokeslam-attempt is thwarted when Shelton goes back to the leg. Taker is able to send Shelton into the corner, and when Shelton tries to leap backwards over the incoming Taker the Dead Man is able to catch him in mid-air and deliver the Tombstone to pick up the victory! Good match. Winner: The Undertaker Let's go back in time to the scene of Jeff Hardy's car accident. His car is totaled on the side of the road at night, as Jeff and his girlfriend stand alongside it, seemingly in pretty good shape, except for the fact that his girlfriend keeps freaking out. Hardy tells an officer of the law that some maniac came flying up behind him and when Hardy slammed on the breaks he wound up off the road. This segues directly into The Tazz catching up with Edge backstage, who says the accident is just more evidence of the black cloud that is hanging over Jeff's head. He then says, with somehow even less sincerity than Vickie expressed to HHH earlier, that he'll keep Jeff in his prayers. Hi-larious. The Bella Twins vs. Michelle McCool and Victoria This is heel-Michelle's debut match, and boy does she make the most of it. She starts the match off by delivering a hip-toss and then stopping to do pushups, followed by a bow! Total heel. Unfortunately, it's never entirely clear which Bella Twin is in the ring at anytime during this match. I THINK Brie is in there at the outset, so I'm gonna run with that. Brie hits a shoulderblock, and Michelle tries to bail, but Nikki throws her right back in. This is why wrestling rules. The babyface Michelle McCool never would have bailed during a match, but now that she's a heel her entire personality has changed! Brie goes retro with the flying mares. However, Michelle resumes control, and tags in Victoria, who comes over the top with the somersault leg drop. She hooks in a bridging neck vice and then chokes Brie out with her own arms. She ascends to the top turnbuckle, but misses on a moonsault-attempt. The hot tag sounds a little too hot compared to the reactions for the rest of the match. I call shenanigans. Nikki comes in with an Oklahoma Roll, and immediately wins the match for her team! Jeez, Brie should've just let Nikki start the match. Michelle doesn't look happy. Sure enough, she attacks Victoria from behind! Styles Clash! I hope they start calling that the "Landing Pin." McCool's carrying the women's division on this brand big-time right now. Winners: The Bella Twins Triple Jeopardy Series-Match Two: Handicapped Match Triple H vs. The Miz and Chavo Guerrero The Miz starts for his team and briefly controls the action, but Trips connects with a clothesline coming out of the corner. Chavo tags in, and The Game takes the opportunity to knock Miz off the apron, before sending Chavo shoulder-first into the ring-post. The Miz tags Chavo on the ass. He threatens to own Triple H, who seems confused at the possibility of this, but it's just a trap, as Chavo attacks from behind, and the heels take over. Chavo with an arm-bar takedown and the Rolling Liger Kick! The Miz comes in and hits the hanging clothesline in the corner. Chavo returns, only to miss a Frog Splash. Miz returns, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. A facebuster and clothesline from HHH follow. At this point, Chavo leaves. Shades of The Big Show last week. The Miz doesn't last long alone with Triple H, of course, and The Pedigree ends this one. Vickie walks onto the ramp and informs HHH that his opponent in the Last Man Standing Match will be The Big Show himself. JR cries foul. Winner: Triple H It's time to watch Vladimir Kozlov spinning around on his head! A video package shows the Moscow Mauler in training, which is highlighted by him delivering belly-to-belly throws to punching-bags. I'm not one to throw around the word "awesome" often, but it fits here. He says he's still looking for competition. There NEEDS to be a clip of him push-kicking down a line of men like dominos. Maybe next week. This week's edition of "The VIP Lounge" features the saddest version of MVP to date, who's not even sure anymore that big things are now poppin' and little things stoppin'. He calls out the man who's been making fun of him in recent weeks, Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy says MVP's been making a fool of himself and that he's been trying to inspire him to stop whining and losing. After Kennedy plugs his movie, stagehands arrive and repossess MVP's furniture. Okay, that was funny. Kennedy informs him that things could be worse. Cue the Boogeyman and a pumphandle slam for MVP. Thankfully, MVP bails before the worms wind up on his face. The only direction that could possibly redeem this angle is an eventual face-turn for MVP. There's no way anyone could take him as a threat as a heel anymore. Plus, the fans have been somewhat behind him in recent weeks anyway. Of course, the angle could also end with MVP committing suicide, but I'm not sure how that would work with the whole "appealing to children" campaign they've got going. This week's "Raw Rebound" focuses on HBK's being continually manipulated by JBL, although he did offer some resistance to JBL by successfully teaming with John Cena against Chris Jericho and Randy Orton on Monday night. However, the end result of that match saw HBK learn that next week on "Raw" he'll have to face Cena one-on-one! WWE Tag Team Champions The Colons vs. THE Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Zek and Primo begin, which sees Zek swatting him away. Carlito tags in and fares better, unloading with strikes to the big man, before a tag leads to both Colons hitting springboard splashes onto Zek, taking him off his feet. Zek kicks out, however, and starts to unload with some of the heavy artillery on Carlito. THE Brian Kendrick enters, but so does Primo, who connects with a dropkick on THE Brian Kendrick. THE Brian Kendrick counters with the classic "Slap and Run," which ends with THE Brian Kendrick tagging Zek back in, who goes to work clubberin'-style on Primo. A bearhug from Zek and a half-nelson from THE Brian Kendrick further wear down Primo. Primo manages to escape, though, and hits a neat belly-to-belly throw on THE Brian Kendrick. Hot tag to Carlito! Springboard back-elbow on THE Brian Kendrick. Sit-down powerbomb on THE Brian Kendrick, but Zek breaks up the count at two. Primo enters the fracas and avoids being thrown to the floor by skinning the cat. He pulls down the top rope, and Zek takes a tumble to the floor. THE Brian Kendrick gets a LONG two-count on Carlito with a roll-up. Carlito avoids a kick to the head from THE Brian Kendrick and hits the Backstabber to pick up the victory and retain the titles! Fun match, and hopefully this feud continues. Winners: The Colons In the least necessary segment on the show, we get exclusive cellphone footage of what we already saw earlier tonight with Jeff and his girlfriend talking to the officer at the scene of the crime. This leads into Jeff telling us that earlier that night he was at a party, which featured an appearance by R. Truth, presumably to inform the party-goers of what exactly was up, prior to his and his girlfriend's subsequent near-death experience. He says that next week he'll return and he'll also be at the Rumble! Speaking of which, JR and The Tazz take the opportunity to run down the card for the ppv. My prediction is Kozlov entering at number one and eliminating every other entrant in the match every two minutes with a push-kick. That is, until Festus enters at number 30, ducks the push-kick and bear-paws his way into the main-event slot at Mania. It books itself, really. Triple Jeopardy Series-Match Three: Last Man Standing Match Triple H vs. The Big Show HHH is favoring the left arm and shoulder heavily, and so, of course, Show targets the area. He swats The Game down and then sends him over the top in the corner to the floor. He then lays Triple H over the top rope and chops him back in. After a break, the Big Show is delivering a "Shh!" chop to HHH's chest. He lifts the King of Kings up by his left arm and slams him down. Twice! Total squash here. HHH gets up at a six-count. Body blows from Show are followed by The Game being sent out again and getting rammed into the steel steps. He briefly fights back by hanging Show up on the top rope and firing off with some clotheslines back inside, but he runs into one himself and gets sent back down. Show runs into a boot in the corner, which leads to a tornado DDT from HHH! Show's up at seven, and Triple H's up at eight. HHH hits the ropes and gets SPEARED by The Big Show! Spear of the year. HHH gets up at seven, but headbutted back down. Triple H gets up at eight, but Show headbutts him down AGAIN. And AGAIN. That's it, HHH is mad as Hell and he's not going to take this anymore. He asks for MORE and he GETS IT! A crotch chop leads to a Pedigree! Both men are down. The crowd wills The Game to his feet at six, and Show gets up at NINE! Show misses with some wild shots. A facebuster is followed by another Pedigree-attempt, but Show counters by hitting a variation of the Celtic Cross! This time it's Show who gets up at six, and HHH who gets up at nine, before tumbling to the floor. Outside, Show gets posted face-first. Show gets up at eight. HHH lunges at Show from the apron, but gets caught and chokeslammed ONTO the announce-table! That's right, not through it. ONTO it! HHH gets up at nine. Superman over here. However, Show catches Triple H with a punch to the face, which sends him back onto the table, and this time he can't get up before the count of ten. The Big Show wins! Vickie appears on the ramp and looks on approvingly at the destruction of the Game that she was responsible for. That'll learn him! Really good match that was only slightly hurt by the necessarily slow-paced nature of the Last Man Standing format. Winner: The Big Show This was a much better show than last week's, and thankfully the crowd stayed interested throughout. The main event and the Taker/Shelton match were both very good, and the tag title match was a lot of fun as well. I usually tire of the whole "Heel General Manager Makes Life Impossible for the Babyface" deal, but they pulled it off well enough this week. The Hardy car accident-angle wasn't very well done, but the payoff should be worth it if it's leading where I think. Plus, the undercard is continuing to deliver with really interesting characters emerging from week to week. Good stuff. |
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