Jamin Olivencia is in the back screaming and kicking chairs, still angry about being stripped of the OVW Championship last week. "The Teflon Don from Boca Raton" Eddie Diamond comes up and tries to talk to him. Jamin screams "they wanna take it away" then says he is going to do something before walking away and laughing maniacally.
OUR OVW Announce Team is Dean Hill, "Anchorman" Gilbert Corsey, and "Rocky Mountain Mouth" Michael Titus. OUR OVW Ring Announcer is Shannon the Dude. Interesting to note that the TNA Impact logo is still included in the show opening.
Jamin comes out, grabs the mic, and heads to the ring. Dean notes that Jamin's record-breaking run as OVW Champion ended because "the weasel" Timmy Danger went crying to OSHA while Gilbert perceives that Jamin is a lost man. Jamin grumbles then emphatically calls Danger to the ring. Danger comes out in the wheelchair accompanied by "Smooth" Johnny Spade then gets security to lift him and the chair into the ring. Danger knows that Jamin wants to hit him but reminds Jamin of the restraining order that was taken out last week. Danger emphasizes that Jamin hits him, Jamin gets arrested thus will have to forfeit the match at Saturday Night Special on 12/7. Danger taunts Jamin, saying if that happens, Spade will be the new champ and Jamin will have let everybody down including Jamin's daughter. Jamin gets up in Danger's face and says that HE has also talked to the OVW Board of Directors! Jamin was told that if he could a) prove that Danger is faking his injuries and doesn't really need the chair, and b) beat Spade at SNS, then he will be granted five minutes in the ring with Danger! This is greeted with mocking by Danger, who says that Jamin can't beat Spade anyway. Jamin pulls a gun on Danger and points it at his face! Spade bails out of the ring and to the curtain as Jamin screams "Say goodbye!” Danger jumps out of the chair and runs to the ropes as Jamin pulls the trigger, revealing that it was a cap pistol! Danger is standing by the ropes and Jamin has his proof. Jamin says he will run over Spade and then run over Danger, so Danger and his wheelchair will get to know each other really well!
Match #1: The Slimy Jerks (Dylan Bostic & Evan Markopolis) w/OUR OVW Hula Hoop Champion Ray Lynn vs Double Platinum (Rockstar Spud & Ryan Howe)
Slimy Jerks come out to Hole's "Celebrity Skin" (which was also played like every week at the TNA Asylum) and have matching paper crowns as well as "Girls (heart) Me" on the back of their trunks. They were nice enough to provide one for Ray Lynn as well. Dean identifies Howe's guitar as an '83 Stratocaster, as we get a guitar solo. Josh Ashcraft is OUR OVW Official for this match. Platinums work on Bostic's arm to start until Bostic slaps Spud and bails out, pulling Ray Lynn in between himself and Spud. Dean equates harming Ray Lynn to smacking Bambi! Back in, the Platinums double hiptoss Bostic and double dropkick Evan, leading to Ray Lynn (in a black two-piece outfit) climbing onto the apron. Howe runs the ropes and pulls up just short of crashing in to Ray Lynn but gets clobbered from behind. The Jerks work over Howe as Ray Lynn is painted as a pawn in the Jerk's game of life. Jerks whip Howe into the ropes but he drops down and uppercuts them both then grabs Evan's leg and spins it into Bostic so we can get TAGS!! Spud come out swinging and makes Bostic miss him on a lariat, instead hitting Evan. Spud dumps Bostic out but Ray Lynn comes in and wants to take pictures! Howe escorts her out but Evan sneaks up and schoolboys him for the pin.
In the back, Elvis Pridemore, "Mexicutioner" Roberto DeLuna, and J Best are lamenting their gambling losses. OUR OVW Tag Team Champions Mohamed Ali Vaez & Michael (not PS) Hayes come over and it is revealed that the trio bet all their money on the Mobile Homers to beat the champs last week, which the Homers told the trio that their win was a "sure thing".
OVW live events include Saturday 12/14 in Cannelton, IN and Saturday 12/28 in Elizabethtown, KY.
Match #2: "Mr. Pec-tacular" (tm) Jessie Godderz vs "Strongest Gamer Alive" Marcus Anthony
OVW Senior Official "Package" Chris Sharpe is in charge here. Godderz leans on the ropes and flexes before Anthony makes his entrance. They exchange handshakes. Anthony overpowers Godderz to start, as Godderz is even unable to take Anthony down with a drop toehold. Godderz grabs a headlock and pulls Anthony to the corner attempting to bulldog him but only gets thrown across the ring. Godderz tries to box but Anthony grabs him by the arm and hammers away. Anthony picks up Godderz to set up for the Gamma Punch but Godderz slips away as we go to a break.
During the break, Godderz discovers that his best offense has been the eyerake and is now working over Anthony. Godderz goes for a bearhug but Anthony gets free and applies one of his own. Godderz eyerakes free and gives Anthony a DDT to plant him at center ring. Godderz then applies a body scissors and hangs on even as Anthony gets to his feet and tries to reverse it into a Boston Crab. Godderz gets away and splashes Anthony twice but eats a lariat although he then counters with the eyerake. Anthony methodically beats on Godderz in the corner but again Godderz escapes the Gamma Punch and dropkicks Anthony. Godderz tries a full nelson but Anthony easily breaks it and sets up to powerbomb Godderz. Anthony can't hang on as Godderz drops behind him. Anthony grabs Godderz and locks him in a full nelson, forcing Godderz to tap out. Anthony celebrates by doing a backflip.
The Mobile Homers (Adam Revolver & "Man-Beast" Ted McNaler) are in the back along with Brittany Devore, who has a carrying case with "MH" on it (which is likely full of money). Revolver drops an envelope into the case as they are approached by Hayes and Vaez. The Homers get questioned by Vaez, who asks them if they told everyone to bet on them then throw the match so they could make more money? Homers try to hush this up then Revolver suggests that the champs got lucky by winning. He then adds that if the stakes were higher, then the competition would also be higher. Vaez says they'll give the Homers a tag title match if there is no betting on it. Homers agree to this as Hayes reminds them that gambling will get them in trouble.
OUR OVW Ladies Champion Lei'd Tapa comes out and calls out "Body Girl". She will show Body Guy that women can wrestle and will make an example out of him. Instead we get Mr. Marvelous Melvin Maximus, who comes to the ring bearing gifts. He is here on behalf of his boss (The Body Guy) to present her with a little basket of candy, a giant teddy bear, and a poem to be read. Tapa reads the poem which goes, "Roses are red, violets are blue, you think you're hot, but you look like poo!” Tapa is not amused and applies the Tongan Death Grip to Melvin but out comes Body Guy, who says he loves Melvin like a son. Body Guy adds that there will be no match tonight since he doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of his fans, reasoning that if he beats her it's no big deal since he does it all the time but if she beats him, well, he's not going to let that happen. Body Guy then rethinks this and instead decides that he wants a match with Tapa at SNS for the title! Tapa says if he needs the ladies title to make him feel like a man, then she will agree to this and says she will leave Body Guy stranded on her island! She adds that she will make Body Guy bow down to her!
Shiloh Jonze is in the back with the other Marauders (Raul Lamotta, Clint Poe, Nick Dumeyer, and Masked Marauder). Jonze says that Flash Flanagan has never been a Marauder and now Flash is going after the TV title for himself. Lamotta says it won't matter and Jonze agrees, adding that Flash will be taught a lesson tonight in what it means to be a Marauder!
Match #3: Flash Flanagan vs OUR OVW TV Champion Paredyse
Marauders run out and attack Flash (who does not have a kendo stick) until Paredyse makes his entrance and chases the Marauders away. Ref Sharpe calls off the match but changes his mind once Flash tells him that he still wants the title shot. Sharpe agrees and calls for the bell. Flash armbars but Paredyse pushes him back to the corner and armdrags himself free. Paredyse grabs a headlock on the mat but Flash rolls him over for 2 twice. Paredyse leapfrogs then smacks Flash on the butt and dropkicks him before again grabbing a headlock. Flash pulls him into a headscissors then Paredyse pulls up but Flash backslides him for 2. Flash whips Paredyse into the ropes but runs into a boot and Paredyse clamps a headscissors on him. Flash picks up Paredyse and powerbombs him for 2. Flash stomps and chops him before banging his head into the turnbuckle. They trade chops before Flash suplexes Paredyse. Paredyse does the "kiester in the kisser" but misses on a bronco buster and ends up in the tree of woe. Flash comes off the top with a doublestomp to the face but only gets 2. Flash slams Paredyse and climbs up top but Paredyse hits the ropes, causing Flash to fall off. Marauders come back out and attack both men as Sharpe calls for the bell.
Paredyse and Flash work together to clear the ring. Paredyse offers a handshake to Flash and they shake as the show goes off.
Thoughts: I was expecting a flag with "BANG" on it to come out of the gun. Could Ray Lynn not be quite as naive as she appears and lead the Slimy Jerks up the ranks of tag teams in OVW? Will the Mobile Homers pull some shenanigans on the champs and improve their odds of winning the tag belts? I wouldn't bet against them (ha ha). I wouldn't be shocked if Body Guy wins the ladies title as it looks like it's headed that way. I guess the Marauders need to recruit as they didn't fare too well in five on two. Overall, I just didn't feel as entertained as usual, so I'll give it just a teeny thumbs down.