Thursday, 22 March 2012 22:57
By Larry Goodman
TVD is taking time off to enjoy life (including an all expenses paid trip to Wrestlemania) and he asked me to fill in for him for the next three weeks.
Here’s the television report for episode #657 of Ohio Valley Wrestling, taped on March 21 with an air date of March 24 on WKYI in Louisville.
The show opened with the closing moments of last week’s show – Rob Terry laying out OVW’s Director of Operations, Trailer Park Trash. Josette Bynum and The Family (minus Mohamad Ali Vaez) stood over the bodies of TPT, Jamin Olivencia and OVW Heavyweight Champion “Smooth” Johnny Spade. OVW personnel including Danny Davis were shown tending to TPT.
Dean Hill called it the knockout punch heard round the world. Hill was joined by Gilbert Corsey on commentary. Kenny Bolin was still MIA.
TPT came out to the ring. Physically, he looking just fine and dandy. Emotionally, not so much. Trash said he had spent a lot of time in meetings with the Board of Directors trying to decide what to do about this situation. Trash said he had a letter that would change the face of The Family forever. Out came Bynum and Terry. Bynum’s skirts can’t get any tighter, and the black outfit she had on was way more flattering than the fire engine red number she was sporting last week. Just sayin. Trash asked Bynum if she liked the color pink. “Yes, pervert, everybody likes the color pink,” she said. TPT was taking great pleasure in keeping Bynum in the dark.
Out of nowhere, a brawl between brothers Ted McNaler and Adam Revolver erupted in front of the desk. McNaler threw Revolver into the ring and grabbed a chair. McNaler’s girlfriend, ring announcer Brittany DeVore had tears in her eyes as she followed Ted into the ring. McNaler was intending to waffle Revolver with the chair, but he hit Brittany with his back swing. McNaler was distraught. Revolver started screaming at McNaler.
A disturbing Randy Terrez vignette aired addressing his match vs. Rudy Switchblade in Elizabethtown on March 31. OVW has produced some awesome stuff to revive the lost art of promos to build up house shows.
McNaler and Revolver were seen arguing in the back. Brittany was sitting in between them clutching her injured shoulder. TPT told Brittany she had to make a choice. Brittany told McNaler to go. Brittany is a better actress than the WWE women. McNaler said she wasn’t right in the head because she was hurt and stormed out of the room. As he blew past Bolin Services 2.0, McNaler shoved Mikey, knocking the water bottles out of hands. Prince Bolin jumped down Mikey’s throat like always. Moose Thomas stepped in and said it was accident. Michael Hayes showed up and asked Prince what gave him the right to pick on a special needs guy. Joe Coleman bowed up, telling Hayes he couldn’t talk to his boss like that. Hayes said go find TPT and Bynum to make the match. Bolin said they might do just that.
Bynum approached “The Three Musketeers” consisting of Spade, his tag partner Shiloh Jones, and Olivencia. Bynum asked Spade if he was passing out title shots to his friends. Spade said they both deserved them in the spirit of competition. Bynum said in the spirit of competition she was making a number one contender’s match for tonight – Olivencia vs. Jones. The camera tracked down the hallway back to Brittany. She was being comforted by OVW Women’s Champion Taeler Hendrix. TPT said, “Don’t you have match?” Hendrix jumped up and headed for the ring.
OVW Women’s Champion Taeler Hendrix pinned Great Cheyenne in a non-title match at 1:48.
The announce team speculated about whether we were seeing young love between Hendrix and Dylan Bostic. I just caught and episode of FCW, and Hendrix is more appealing to me than any of the developmental Divas. Cheyenne jumped the bell. Bostic came to ringside to cheer Hendrix on. Hendrix fired back showing great flexibility. Hendrix pinned Cheyenne after a roundhouse kick to the temple. Bostic and Hendrix hugged in the ring. Hill said it might be the start of a new reality TV show, Taeler Made.
Michael Hayes defeated Joe Coleman (with Prince Bolin & Mikey) in 2:39.
Prince forced poor Mikey up onto the apron to distract Hayes. Coleman’s power game had Hayes in a world of trouble, but the heart of the one-legged Iraq war hero kept him in the match. Hayes went down awkwardly as if his prosthetic limb was giving him trouble. Coleman covered. Hayes kicked out and pinned Coleman with his Codebreaker variant.
Next up was an edition of “Straight Talk”, the Brandon Espinosa talk show. Espinosa was accompanied by the amazingly androgynous Chris. Espinosa said there had been confusion about us men should be in conduct with each other in the locker room, so he had downloaded “The Manual – the Neil Patrick Harris’ Guide to the Bro Code” on his iphone. Espinosa started reading off bro codes like “a bro shall not lollygag if he must get naked in front of the other bros in the locker room, so if you’re towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes.” Espinosa said that had somebody in the locker room doing this one - “A bro shall not willingly or happily prance around the locker room in a dress.” Out came Paredyse happily prancing in a dress. Paredyse said he had his own book – Pixie Fairy Princess’ Guide To Being Totally Happy and Sweet”.
1. Thou shalt always wear glitter, leg warmers and mascara.
2. If in the locker room with other guys and a towel and/or a bar of soap drops, it’s OK to look as long as you don’t touch. Unless of course he’s into that kind of thing.
3. Never, never give in to self hate and hide in the closet for 24 years pretending to be something you’re not, because you’re never brave enough to admit to yourself, your family or anybody else what you really are.
Paredyse advanced towards Espinosa as he said #3. Espinosa swung at him. Paredyse ducked and decked Epsinosa, who rolled out of the ring. Paredyse went Karate Kid on Chris and he also took a powder. Corsey asked if Paredyse touched a sensitive bone on Epinosa. Yeah, he did.
OVW TV Champion Silvio (with Mo Green & Mary Jane the Hula Hoop Girl) pinned Malaki in a non-title match at 1:36.
Corsey said he finds Team Tie Dye’s entrance less annoying and more entertaining with each pasing week, because of his respect for what Silvio has done in the ring. Silvio faked a bolo punch, then waited for Malaki to cover up so he could kick him in the gut. A hint of offense by Malaki and Green was up on the apron. Silvio donkey kicked Malaki in the nuts. Silvio won it with that tie-dyed TKO, the psychedelic superpunch. Hill said Floyd Patterson used to jump and swing at the same time. “Google it if you don’t know who I’m talking about.”
The cameraman was summoned to the back where TPT was attempting to mediate a heated argument between Randy Royal and Dylan Bostic (with Taeler Hendrix throwing her two cents in). TPT was getting fed up, so he made a match for next week – Royal has to beat Bostic in two minutes or Bostic wins.
The camera panned over to X2C (Sean Casey & Rafael Constantine and their “ladies”) getting an earful from Tony Gunn. Gunn was wearing a shirt and tie. Gunn claimed he was totally normal now. “I’ve got my happy pills. I don’t scratch myself in the face anymore (thank God!). I don’t smack myself in the head.” Just one small problem, he was still carrying the teddy bear around. Gunn said he could help X2C. Constantine told Gunn he was weirder than ever. X2C went on their merry way. Gunn consoled himself by talking to his bear. “WE are winners.”
Shiloh Jones defeated Jamin Olivencia to become the number one contender for the OVW Heavyweight Championship in 11:23.
They started with intense back and forth. It was 100% clean. Neither man was able to gain a significant advantage until Jones made the mistake of going to the top rope. Olivencia started grinding Jones down on the mat. Olivencia hit a great running, twisting splash for a near fall. Jones used a trio of back suplexes to turn the tide. Jones hit a tornado kick for a close near fall. Olivencia appeared to out, but he sprung to life with a high knee. Olivencia nailed Jones with a sling blade for a close near fall of his own. Olivencia turned Jones’ flying headscissors into a nasty face plant. Olivencia was too worn down to follow up and Jones kicked out. A huge collision sent Olivencia out of the ring. While referee Chris Sharpe was busy checking on Jones, Mohamad Ali Vaez kicked Olivencia in the groin and posted him. Vaez rolled Olivencia back into the ring where Jones covered for the three count.
Bynum was out standing next to Vaez laughing and applauding. Jones had no idea what happened to Olivencia. Spade will now defend the title against his partner at the April 7 Saturday Night Special.
TPT was back with the envelope. He called Bynum and Terry back out. Bynum said they were both former champions and there was no reason they couldn’t get along. Does last week ring a bell? TPT asked Bynum what she had in mind. TPT then led Bynum down the primrose path of making a match for him against Rob Terry at the Saturday Night Special, and in return she would get her hands on the envelope. In OVW logic, since Bynum made the match, TPT got to make the stipulations 1) Family members will be banned from ringside and 2) Bynum will be banned from the building. Bynum opened the envelope. There was only a blank piece of paper inside. TPT added one more stipulation – if he lost, he would relinquish his power in OVW, but when he won, Bynum would lose her power.
A really fun show for the story telling. Those tracking shots are a great way to advance a lot of stories in a short amount of time. Things could get messy with them, but I thought they were very entertaining this week. The development of the Revolver/McNaler/Brittany triangle has been tremendously well done. Ditto Paredyse’s valiant effort to coax Espinosa out of the closet. TVD will be pleased to learn that the dueling authority figure nonsense that has been weighing this show down appears to be coming to an end. And as is often the case, we also got a strong main event to make up for the lack of wrestling in the rest of the show, and this one was better than most.