WWE RAW TV report
Monday, 24 December 2012 21:24
WWE Christmas Eve Raw
December 24, 2012
Tonight is the Night!
- Um, I got nothin'.
This week's special edition of Raw opened with the entire WWE roster signing a parody of "Jingle Bells" in a video that had previously been posted on WWE's website and YouTube channel.
Santa Gets Run Over By A Del Rio
Justin Roberts introduced tonight's guest host: Santa Claus. The kids went crazy. Then, they went less crazy. Because Santa done got runned over by Alberto Del Rio. Really. Del Rio drove a BMW per his usual entrance, however Santa Claus was in his path giving out presents to children. Del Rio looked shocked that he ran over Santa, and Ricardo was going crazy. Emergency crews came out to assist Santa as the crowd chanted "You killed Santa." As the crews were attending to Santa, Ricardo began weaping and dry heaving. He also implored Del Rio to run away as he knew nothing good can come from this. As Santa was strapped up to the gurney, he raised his thumb to show the crowd that he'd be okay.
Well, that was different. I'm going to hate this show I just know it. I bet they throw a 20 minute Sheamus match at me, too. Merry Christmas, indeed.
Backstage, many of the wrestlers were outside the trainer's room wondering on the condition of Santa. Booker came out, and said Santa's situation didn't look good. Titus was loudly upset, yelling that he's got kids. Booker said the show must go on. Del Rio showed up, and he was hated. Cena appeared and yelled at Del Rio for running over Santa. Del Rio claimed this was an accident, and that it was not his fault because everyone knows Del Rio drives his cars out in that spot. Booker announced a match that Santa had apparently made in his last words. Del Rio vs Cena in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight for later. YOSHI TATSU appeared in the hallway during this. He's alive.
Cody Rhodes Seeks Revenge
Cody Rhodes' moustache battled Kane in their first one-on-one encounter since Kane injured Cody over a month ago via a back body drop. Cody worked on Kane's left shoulder and arm throughout the match, and twice went to remove turnbuckle pads in the ring in hopes to further injure the big man. Late in the bout, Cody hit a disaster kick to Kane's left shoulder. While Kane was dazed, Cody removed a turnbuckle pad from the corner, his second time doing this in the match. However, Cody's wasted time backfired as Kane recovered, and sent Cody into the originally removed turnbuckle pad. Kane followed that up with a chokeslam for the win.
Santa's Helper 8-Woman Tag
Santa could have used some help earlier. Tiffany's music brought out Layla, Kaitlyn, Alicia Fox, and Natalia. Eve's music brought out Eve, Tamina Snuka, Aksana, and Rosa Mendes. Layla was the highlight during this, both in the ring and out. This went a lot longer than a usual women's battle on Raw. But with three hours to fill on a show with very few storyline advancements that is to be expected. After several minutes of tagging in and out, we finally had some "crazy" action as woman after woman hit power moves on various opponents, including Aksana hitting a massive spinebuster on Alicia. Kaitlyn pinned Eve with her gutbuster to finish it.
We got a promo for a Big Show vs Sheamus "Lumber-Jack Frost Match" coming up. Rey Mysterio was in the graphic as one of the lumberjacks. Thought he was gone?
Backstage, Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee were watching "her favorite Christmas movie." Turned out to be the TLC match between Dolph and Cena.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler reviewed the incident between Del Rio and Santa. They showed the crime scene, which now had police tape all around the floor where Del Rio had driven in. I'm waiting for Shane McMahon to come back and blame this all on Steve Blackman.
Backstage, Matt Striker updated us on Santa's injuring. The update: There was no update.
Geeks Wearing Santa Hats
Several of the non-title contenders were at ringside for a lumberjack match between Big Show and Sheamus. Rey Mysterio was indeed not involved. Leading to a commercial break, Big Show ducked a Brogue Kick attempt at rolled outside. The lumberjacks were afraid to touch him. Back, we saw Sheamus with control. A minute of restholds later and we get Sheamus to the outside, and the lumberjacks beat him up. The eventually led to the lumberjacks brawling with eachother briefly. Big Show blocked Sheamus second attempt at a Brogue Kick later, and threw Sheamus to the outside. Again, the lumberjacks attacked Sheamus. They still were afraid of Show, however, when he went outside to throw Sheeamus back in. Show went for WMD, but Sheamus ducked and hit the Brogue Kick finally for the win. All the lumberjacks brawled in the ring afterward. The babyface lumberjacks gained control and were left standing, together, in the ring as Sheamus' music played us out.
Video recap of Miz TV w/ Miss Piggy and Kermit from Tribute to the Troops.
In the ring, David Otunga came out to defend Alberto Del Rio. He claimed Santa was guilty of vehicular vandalism.
Two Guys Wrestling
Zack Ryder interrupted Otunga's promo, and Otunga was quite displeased. However, that displeasure didn't motivate him to victory. Ryder won the bout with his Rough Ryder than wished all his Broskis a merry Christmas.
Backstage, Booker and Teddy Long laughed about Otunga's loss. Brad Maddox entered, assuming Booker had called him to give him a contract. Booker called Brad awful, but said in the spirit of Christmas he will give Brad another shot at a contract.
Miz TV Featuring No Miz TV
Holy balls, Miz is actually in a match and not boring me on the mic. Miz and Kofi Kingston are tagging up against Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro. Cole, about Miz, said that not everyone from Cleveland is a loser. Blatant lie. Finish saw Kofi hit the TiP kick on Wade, sending Wade into the skull crushing finale from Miz as our good guy heroes defeat the foreign evil doers. Not a lot to this match, although the work was good. Antonio was yelling at Wade afterwards for taking the loss.
Backstage, Dolph and AJ were mocking Cena over the TLC loss. AJ was wearing a robe, and revealed herself wearing a Ziggler cut up shirt. Dolph called it the sexiest thing he's ever seen.
Backstage, another update on Santa. Striker said Santa wasn't doing well. Oh, really? Apparently well enough to stay away from a hospital.
Brad Maddox is coming to Raw
WWE's real newcomer of the year, Brad Maddox, came down to the ring singing his parody of 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.' He must win his matchup tonight in order to win a contract with WWE. Or, not. He'll get more chances I'm sure. Hornswoggle came out to the ring, but he was not Brad's opponent. His opponent: GREAT KHALI~! Khali was dressed as one of Santa's elves. Lawler used this match to basically make jokes about Maddox. This wasn't a full fledged squash, as Maddox did have some offense. Maddox had Khali down and wore him a bit with some leg holds, but the offense didn't last because Maddox got a bit cocky. If you were a fan of 1998 Buff Bagwell poses, you'd like this match. Khali finished Maddox off with the tree slam, and Maddox will have to wait until he guilts somebody else into giving him a contract opportunity. After the match, Hornswoggle wished Santa well. Then, hilariously, Khali sang "We Wish You A Merry Christmas." Lawler and Cole could not hold back laughter.
Backstage, Paul Heyman and Paul Heyman were walking about in the halls.
CM Punk Mocks Everybody
Punk and Heyman out to bash everyone! Their first target, Khali. Punk mocked Khali's singing. Then, he bashed the Steelers and the city of Pittsburgh. Following that, Punk continued to deny any relations with The Shield and Brad Maddox. Heyman and Punk spoke about the conspiracy to take the WWE title away from Punk, how Punk is better than everyone, and other such musings. Ryback entered, and Heyman threatened to sue Ryback if he put his hands on the injured Punk. Ryback said he won't touch Punk until the first Raw of 2013, when Punk meets The Ryback in a TLC match for the WWE Championship.
Bryan vs Sandow
"Bryan starred in the nativity scene in his home town. He was the goat by the manger." Michael Cole telling jokes~! This one started off hot, with Bryan immediately sending Sandow to the outside and hitting a running knee. Then, back inside, Bryan landed a running drop kick into the corner on Sandow. Somehow, however, Sandow took control from here but the match went back and forth for a bit. Cole and Lawler ignored a substantial period of this match telling jokes, wondering about Santa's condition, and asking eachother what they were getting eachother for Christmas. Anyway, Bryan reversed Sandow's finish into the No! Lock for the victory.
The Lumberjacks Return
It's time for a 6 vs 6 tag match, featuring the lumberjacks from earlier. Tensai, D-Young, Titus O'Neil, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, and Jinder Mahal made up one team. Santino, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, and Brodus Clay made up the other. Tensai as this character just isn't working, and wasn't when he was actually getting pushed. To salvage him as any kind of heel threat, you may as well just make him Albert again and have him go crazy on a top babyface as a reintroduction. Or, don't, and cut him after Mania. Well, the good guys got the win when an Uso splashed onto Heath for the pinfall.
Backstage, Kane gave a Slammy Award to Daniel Bryan for Christmas. Bryan then gave Kane a puppy clothed in a sweater. Kane said, "Thanks, I'm starving." Bryan, concerned, replied "Animals are our friend, not food!"
Backstage, AJ Lee was reading a Christmas story to Dolph. The story mocked Punk, Kane, Bryan, Vickie, and John Cena. After calling Dolph the "man who stuffs my stocking," the two made out.
Backstage, Matt Striker was informed that Santa had taken a turn for the worse, and was being prepared to be taken to a medical facility. About time! Then, in a miracle, Santa's EKG machine began playing 'Jingle Bells' and Santa was clicking his feet together.
John Cena Saves Christmas
Cena, to save Christmas, came out to battle the man who almost ruined Christmas, Alberto Del Rio. Ricardo, still crying, came out to introduce Del Rio. Ricardo couldn't get his intro out. Del Rio, showing remorse, tried to calm Ricardo down. Del Rio was telling kids along the entrance way that he was sorry. During the match, Del Rio grabbed the mic and told the crowd that he wasn't trying to hurt Santa. The two battled some more, including John Cena hammering Del Rio with a steel chair he had unwrapped in a gift box around ringside. Ricardo, after distracting Cena, brought in a present of his own. He gave a gift box to Del Rio, and he opened it to reveal a pie. Del Rio was questioning the usefulness of the gift. Del Rio tried to throw the pie in Cena's face, but Cena ducked and it went into the waiting face of Ricardo Rodriguez. Backfire! The next few moments were spent battling up the ramp, with more weaponry being opened. After a commercial, Del Rio had the advantage on Cena and Ricardo offered another gift to Alberto. Ricardo swore it was a bazooka, however, it was a teddy bear. Del Rio could not believe it, but still, he tried to use it as a weapon. Del Rio threw the teddy bear at Cena in one of the few actual funny moments on this show. Cena was unharmed by the stuffed bear. Later, Cena found a bowling ball and used that to injure Del Rio's marbles. Cena always seemed to unwrap the useful weapons. Del Rio really shouldn't have nearly killed Santa. Ricardo again interfered, putting Cena in a sleeper. While Cena was going out, Santa's music hit! Santa returned, and whacked Ricardo with his bag of presents. Santa then put a stocking on as a glove, and gave the mandible claw to Del Rio. This allowed Cena to nail Del Rio with the AA for the pinfall victory.
Cena and Santa celebrated in the ring as the show ended promptly at 11:03.
Final Thoughts: Django tomorrow! As for Raw, a nothing show with little comedy even though it was presented as 80% comedy. They kept the serious stuff short, and because it was Christmas, the Shield didn't quite fit in with tonight's festivities.