OVW TV Episode 697 Recap
Here is the report for Ohio Valley Wrestling episode 697. This episode is available for your viewing pleasure at http://www.ovwrestling.com/tv/697.
Our announcers are Dean Hill, Gilbert Corsey, and Michael Titus as we get the festivities going with...a LIVE version of "THE MIX TAPE"!!!!!!!!With Timmy "Rampage" Danger and Eddie "White Kryptonite" Diamond!!! My favorite part of the show!! Diamond and Danger have accessorized Christmas-style tonight and are accompanied by Bobbie Bardot, who is dressed up as a reindeer-complete with the red nose! They are still doing "Suckah of the Year" as they have the prize "The Golden 40" with them but here they cover the "naughty" and "nice" list. Diamond says he and Danger have been nice and so has Bobbie. Danger goes to the naughty list, starting with Taeler Hendrix, who Diamond says found lumps in her stocking but it wasn't coal! Michael Titus is also deemed naughty, which Gilbert agrees with. Next up is the Jason Wayne and the Platoon of Wayne, whom Danger says are "like the Three Stooges in camo"!
Out comes "General" Crimson with Doug Williams, Jason Wayne, and Joe Coleman, who is carrying and old-school field radio that has a phone receiver and has to be hand cranked. Crimson, who hands a manila folder marked "Classified" to Titus for safekeeping, compares "The Mix Tape" to Jamie Kennedy's show and says it should be cancelled as well. The four go in the ring with that intent and surround Diamond and Danger, who get roughed up a bit before James "Moose" Thomas and the Mascara Mafia (Paredyse & Brandon "Espy" Espinosa) come out and cancel the cancellation. Paredyse offers to find a partner and suggests a 4-on-4 match in the main event, then tells them to make sure Coleman is "oiled up".
Back from break, Moose roams the building seeking "Smooth" Johnny Spade to serve as his team's fourth man. He locates Spade, who declines, saying he has his own agenda.
Match #1: "The Ken of OVW and The Justin Bieber of Professional Wrestling" Dylan Bostic (w/OUR OVW Women’s Champion Taeler Hendrix) vs Stephon J Baxter III
I believe Baxter came out to the "Family Matters" theme. Gilbert implies Baxter is like a super-genius (that didn't work out so well for Wile E. Coyote). Bostic comes out all aggressive and stuff, pretty much having his way here, alternately beating on Baxter and getting smooches from Hendrix (who is less like "The Barbie of OVW" and more like "The Quinn Fabray of OVW"). Bostic finally ends this with a back cracker for the pin.
A video airs of Tony Gunn (without Ralphie) leading Randy Royal into a training session, which here consists of Royal riding a stationary bike then hitting a punching bag. After 45 minutes, Royal says the workout kicked his ass but he'll get there.
Elvis Pridemore comes through the curtain and is subsequently jumped by That Guy Who Thinks He Is OUR OVW TV Champion Cliff Compton. Pridemore gets thrown into the ring, beat on for a minute, and tossed out. Compton says that was planned to be a match for "his title" but the 2 belts he was carrying were snatched last week by The Actual OVW TV Champion Jamin Olivencia, calling him a "Puerto Rican douchebag", which brings out Olivencia to chase him off. Jamin (with both belts) backs off calling Compton delusional, instead referring to him as a jackass. Jamin throws out a challenge but Compton examines his "injured" foot and declines, saying it's not well enough for him to compete. Jamin says he can show up next week and get his face kicked around.
Best Team Ever (Rudy Switchblade & Jesse Godderz) comes out dressed like OUR OVW Southern Tag Team Champions the Gut Checkers (Sam Shaw & Alex Silva). Godderz is playing the role of Silva here while Switchblade is hilarious dressed as Shaw. "Silva" says "shut up" and "uh-oh" a lot but then says he respects everyone, while speaking in a bad French accent. He then says he is Canadian, which leads "Shaw" to ask if that means that "Silva" doesn't like baseball, pizza, or good quality American programming like "Big Brother" :) "Shaw" says he really doesn't want to be a wrestler; he just wants to be a skateboarder, which is why he wears his skater stuff instead of wrestling gear. "Shaw" says "whoa" and "bro" like 74 times during this. "Shaw" kick flips but stumbles trying to do one off the ropes. "Silva" says BTE always beats them and he's tired as they fall to the mat and count three. "Shaw" says it's like "we're champions, but what if we're not?" and they have to face them at Saturday Night Special? More "uh-oh"s and "whoa"s until the real Gut Checkers run out and chase the fake ones away.
In the back, The Mascara Mafia encounters Jessie Belle, Epiphany, and Heidi Lovelace. They ask the ladies to use their assets to sway Spade into being their partner for the main event. The ladies agree and walk to the next room to meet Spade but then are met by Hendrix, who tries to get friction started amongst them as Spade walks off. Hendrix suggests a number one contender's match between Belle and Epiphany. Apparently, Heidi gets overlooked but she did win "Shawty of the Year" so that should soften the blow a bit. The Body Guy appears and all four ladies are repulsed!
Ms. Josette Bynum comes to the ring in a tight red skirt with a shiny green corset top. She says after the deplorable way she and Flash Flanagan were escorted out of the building last week, she went to the OVW Board of Directors and got Flash Flanagan a warm-up match tonight to get ready for his hardcore match with OUR OVW Director of Authority Trailer Park Trash/Frank Miller on 1/5's Saturday Night Special. Not that he would need one as the beating he will supposedly give TPT would be a nice Christmas present for her. Flash comes out then Josette calls out Flash's opponent, Chase King, but TPT comes out as well although he is surrounded by OVW referees. Josette tells TPT that the Board of Directors also told her that he cannot touch Flash or her until their match.
Match #2: Flash Flanagan (w/Ms. Josette Bynum) vs Chase King
Pretty much a pattern of Flash "systematically decimating" (Gilbert's words) King then showing TPT his handiwork while taunting him. Dean reminisces about a hardcore match years ago between the two at Louisville Gardens that didn't end well. Josette gets in a couple of shots as well before hitting a neckbreaker for the pin.
Flash says TPT would rather sit at home and take care of his fat, disgusting daughter! TPT goes berserk but is restrained by the officials.
Dean is disgusted because Flash talked about TPT's daughter. Also for Saturday Night Special is the in-ring return of Randy Royal plus "Diamond Steel" Ryan Howe vs Dylan Bostic! Main Event time!
Match #3: "General" Crimson & "He-Man of Homeland Security" Jason Wayne & "Kamikaze of Combat Communications" Joe Coleman (with the field radio) & Doug Williams vs James "Moose" Thomas & The Mascara Mafia (Paredyse & Brandon "Espy" Espinosa) & "Smooth" Johnny Spade
Wayne yells at OUR OVW Ring Announcer Terry Boddie to keep his eyes on the deck! The "Moose-cara Mafia" wait up for Spade to come out then it's EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!! Back from break, OUR OVW Official Chris Sharpe has managed to settle things down (that's what Dean said anyway) as Williams is getting worked over until he hits an Eyepoke of Doom on Espy. Wayne comes in and drags Espy to the wrong corner. Coleman whips Espy into the ropes but Paredyse makes a blind tag to come in and fire up on Coleman. Paredyse tries to tiltawhirl Wayne from the corner but Wayne flips him over the top and to the floor where Crimson runs over and beats on him then feeds him back to Wayne in the ring. Paredyse gets isolated a bit but then gets free to tag Moose in. Moose cleans house then Coleman jumps on Moose's back but just gets flipped over. Finishers galore but no pins yet! Moose-kick on Crimson but then Jack Black and The Wildcards (Raul Lamotta & Shiloh Jonze) run in to go after Moose, who quickly dispatches them. Wayne full-nelsons Moose but Moose drops down and Wayne eats a superkick from Spade! Moose pins Wayne and there is much rejoicing as the show goes off.
I believe this was taped 12/19. Not much wrestling here, two helpings of squash and another multiple person tag match with the Coalition vs Moose & Friends. Really liked Switchblade's impersonation of Shaw. Looks like Hendrix is really hoping Epiphany softens up Jessie Belle for her. Can't wait to see who wins "Suckah of the Year" and the "Golden 40". By my count, looks like there are at least 5 matches set up for Saturday Night Special plus whatever gets set up from Crimson/POW/Williams vs Moose-cara Mafia/Spade. Sure doesn't look like OUR OVW Champion Rob Terry will be there based on what's transpired the last few shows. This particular show was quite entertaining for me (though kind of repetitive over the past few weeks) so I'll give it an upper thumbs in the middle.