WWE Monday Night Raw
May 6, 2013
We jumped right in to security footage of Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar arriving at WWE Headquarters, as well as video of last week's big angles.
Stips Are Made for WWE Title Match
John Cena opened the show. The announcers put over that he's working with an achilles injury that will linger into the Extreme Rules pay-per-view. Cena said the injury won't stop him from competing. He then called Ryback gay, using other words. Vickie Guerrero interrupted and walked to the ring. She brought out The Ryback. Cena mocked Ryback a little bit. Then a lot bit. Lame stuff. Then he gave Ryback a chance to pick the stip for the WWE title match at Extreme Rules. He chose Last Man Standing.
Randy Orton vs Damien Sandow
Damien hilariously parodied Randy Orton's theme song for his entrance. It was great. Randy Orton won a fine match via pinfall after an RKO. As Orton was walking backstage, he was knocked out by a Big Show WMD on the entrance.
Backstage, FANDANGO'S #1 DANCER WAS BACK~!
Chris Jericho's Judges Panel
Chris Jericho came out and introduced Tensai and Brodus Clay as his judges panel to critique FANDANGO's dancing performance tonight. FANDANGO then entered, with his more popular brunette dancer. Sorry, Summer.
FANDANGO wrestled R-Truth for a while, before walking out mid-match. So Truth won via countout. The judges were not kind to FANDANGO tonight.
Backstage, Daniel Bryan challenged The Ryback to a rematch from Smackdown. Ryback came up and rejected the challenge. Kane showed up, and Ryback backed off.
Alberto Del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio won a long, competitive match... via DQ. Mid match, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter (wearing a plaid vest) came out and walked ringside. They watched the match from commentary. Zeb did all the talking. The finish saw Alberto lock in his armbreaker, but AJ Lee jumped on the ropes to distract the ref. That allowed Big E to break up the hold, but he pulled Del Rio all the way out of the ring and threw him into Swagger at ringside. The ref saw all that and ended the bout. Afterwards, Swagger grapped a ladder from under the ring, and proceeded to beat up Ricardo, Dolph, and Alberto with it. Swagger left with bodies spread out in and around the ring.
Ryback and Kane was made for later.
WWE and Yahoo!'s content deal was given a video package.
Backstage, Kaitlyn and the Funkadactyls were going over strategy, and Kaitlyn got a text from her mystery guy. Nattie came up and brought in Khali to go undercover in the men's locker room to find out who Kaitlyn's mystery guy is. Apparently Kaitlyn doesn't know, yet this person has her phone number.
The Shield is Over
The Shield won a six man tag over Kofi Kingston and the Usos. Very slow paced start, with a lot of rest holds, but it picked up later. Ambrose pinned Kingston with the Bulldog DDT.
Antonio Cesaro vs Zack Ryder
Cesaro now arrives to the ring with a new jacket and beret. Cesaro won a virtual squash with the neutralizer. Ryder looks odd with his bleached hair all grown out. Cesaro cut a promo after. Antonio puts the W in WWE, and he said no one in WWE holds a candle to him. Except Kofi, who beat him for the title. And Orton, who beats him every time they wrestle. But other than that...
Paul Heyman via satellite
Paul showed exclusive video taken by his phone of Paul and Brock Lesnar at the WWE Headquarters. They went through the lobby, hallways, and more. Paul called the office a poor work environment, and that no one seems happy. As they passed a Royal Rumble picture featuring the Rock, Brock stopped and stared at it. Eventually they ended up in Triple H's "office." They trashed the temp setup, including using a sledgehammer on the desk and walls. Paul, then speaking live, via satellite, sold the old school cage match like hell while pushing how Brock would keep going further, and further, and further, and further.... Yeah, Triple H cut Paul off here. Triple H said that DX did stuff like that better. He called Paul and Brock cowards for going to the WWE offices when they both knew Triple H would be at Raw. He said that the ring is his office, and Brock will get a fight when he steps in this office.
AJ Lee & Bellas vs Cameron & Naomi & Kaitlyn
This went way long, and had little going for it. Climax was Kaitlyn spearing her former friend AJ for the win, after both Bellas refused to tag AJ as she tried to escape.
Sheamus & Mark Henry Talk
Mark Henry came out and had some words for Sheamus. Sheamus came out and had some words for Mark. They're going to wrestle soon, you know. Wade Barrett came out and we had a match.
Sheamus beat Wade in a basic match with the brogue kick. Mark tried to get involved during it, but received a brogue kick for his trouble. Afterwards, recovered, Mark came back and attacked Sheamus with a belt. He was whipping Sheamus all around the ring. Mark finished Sheamus off with a World's Strongest Slam to the floor to end the segment.
FANDANGO vs Y2J in a dance off was announced for next week's RAW. Can't wait. Like, for reals.
The Ryback vs The Kane in The Main Event
This was not a quick match, and was everything you'd expect. The Ryback hit his Shellshock on Kane for the pinfall. Immediately after, The Shield's music hit and they came towards the ring. Before the Shield got there, Daniel Bryan rushed into the ring and stood aside Ryback ready for the onslaught. The Ryback bailed, however, leaving Bryan alone with a prone Kane in the ring. Super Cena then ran into the ring to assist. As the Shield entered, Ryback came back in with a chair ala Cena two weeks ago and ran off the Shield. But, Ryback turned that chair onto Cena, beating him up.
Ryback left Cena laying in the ring, beaten by the chair, as Ryback screamed "Ryback Rules!"