May 23, 2013
LIVE! From Full Sail University
by Emerson “I bought several bottles of liquor for the party I am throwing tonight. In other news, I am the only person invited to the party I am throwing tonight.” Witner
Any questions, comments concerns or emotional outbursts? Contact me:
Here's what you need to know about NXT:
-They have a champion, it's Big E. Langston, who defeated Seth Rollins for the title on January 10. The show was taped after The Shield debuted at Survivor Series, but before Big debuted on Raw. Big originally refused to go to Raw when Vickie Guerrero offered him a spot, but did go to Raw once AJ lost power. Go figure.
-They also have Tag Team Champions, The Wyatt Family (Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, managed by Bray Wyatt). They captured the titles on May 9, defeating Bo Dallas and Adrian Neville
-Dusty Rhodes is the Authority Figure, but his job title seems to change from week to week.
-The insanely popular Paige, Emma and the love of my life, Sasha Banks were the only three NXT Diva's until February 7 when ring announcer Summer Rae (not Summer Rain) attacked Paige.
-Rae, now referred to as the First Lady of NXT, shelved Paige with a debilitating shoulder injury. Paige recovered and is now trying to whoop Rae like a red-headed step child. Rae, instead of fighting, is too busy Fandango-ing
-The Shield still make random appearances on the show, causing chaos.
-Kassius Ohno is turning face, while Bo Dallas is starting a heel turn.
And that's everything you need to know about NXT. (Now we know!) (And knowing is half the battle) (G.I. Joe!)
-There is a lot of Cena gear and signs in the crowd. I will assume this was when he visited Orlando.
1.) Sami Zayn pinned Curt Hawkins in 4:14. This is the debut of Zayn on NXT, who is best remembered as El Generico. Hawkins hasn't really been seen since Tyler Reks left. The fans already starting the “Ole!” chant, so it's no mystery to the fans. Hawkins recently got a haircut and ditched the cane that he held for over a year. Sami is from Montreal, so if Curt wants to win he needs to slap on the Sharpshooter. Or hit the Pele Kick. Wasn't quite as nice as AJ Styles' but nice nonetheless, but the not-so-generic Canadian kicked out. I have to laugh because they keep talking about Zayn's reputation, but don't bother to mention what that reputation is. There is a dueling chant during the match, which just seems weird. Anyway Sami won with a Springboard Tornado DDT.
El Sami is 1-0!
-Corey Graves video package aired. He is wrestling Bray Wyatt in the main event.
2.) Antonio Cesaro pinned Yoshi Tatsu in 0:50. Cesaro is no longer retroactively defending the United States Championship. Yoshi had that great series of matches with Tyson Kidd. Cesaro had that great match against Kofi Johnson. Obviously both men bring nothing to the table. Cesaro flung Yoshi in the air and nailed him with a European Uppercut on the way down. One Neutralizer later and Cesaro is the winner.
After the match Cesaro took the mic and mocked WWE for not giving him better competition. This brought out Sami Zayn, who said that he is competition. Sami spoke French at him, which apparently was accepting a challenge....for right now!
3.) Sami Zayn pinned Antonio Cesaro in 5:02. Cesaro is worn down after his 50 seconds of action. Mr. Regal points out that Zayn could lose all of his credibility if he loses this match. Cesaro is quickly sent to the outside while we quickly go to and come back from a commercial. The story of this match saw Cesaro knock Zayn down time and again with brutal moves, but Zayn would kick out each time. Zayn went up top for a cross body block, but Cesaro caught him and dropped Sami with a tilt a whirl back breaker! But Sami kicks out at 2! Sami kicks out again after a running European Uppercut. Sami went for a small package, but it was blocked. Cesaro went for...something, but Zayn dropped behind and pinned the former US Champion with a school boy!
After the match Cesaro dropped El Zayn with a Neutralizer, but all the announcers could rave about was how Zayn, on his debut night, pinned 2 WWE Superstars.
-To the back where Renee Young wants to interview Audrey Marie, but Emma walked in to interrupt and dance. Audrey called her stupid and to get out before she takes Emma out. Emma said she wants to have lunch before dancing out. Emma poked Audrey in the forehead with her nail.
-A Bray Wyatt promo aired.
4.) Mason Ryan (w/long hair) fucking killed Enzo Amore (whoever the fuck this is) in 1:22. Enzo is from Hackensack and is Italian. Honestly JT Smith is more Italian. Where is Joey Styles to say that he thinks an innuendo is an Italian suppository? Our good wrestling segment of the show ended here, as Uncle Enzo got his head knocked off, before being pinned with a TKO. Yes this lasted longer than the Cesaro-Yoshi match.
-Next week on NXT: Stephanie McMahon has a HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WILL HAVE THE NXT UNIVERSE BUZZING!
-AND A BATTLE ROYAL! WITH THE WINNER FACING BIG E. LANGSTON FOR THE NXT TITLE! I have no idea who could possibly win that and face Big for the title. No idea at all.
-Side note: By the way, what job position is more important? Senior Vice President or Chief Operating Officer? And if it is the COO why did the Board of Directors assign that position to a man with no executive background at all and who has shown for years to be able to manipulate those in charge to rule in his favor? And no, I am not talking about HHH's behind the scenes shenanigans for a change. There are years and years of footage of him forcing authority figures to make decisions that only benefit him and that led the Board to give him such a high ranking position? I really need to sell my one share of WWE stock.
-Remember when I mentioned we got a new ring announcer who was pretty, blonde and sucked? According to Twitter her name is Kendall Skye. Paige only wanted to make sure she didn't attack her for the hell of it.
5.) Bray Wyatt pinned Corey Graves in 7:56. This match is one fall with a 10-minute time limit. Bray has a face mask because Chris Jericho broke his nose. You know, Bob Sapp in The Longest Yard dealt with it! This is a bout between two heels, unless Corey Graves did one of those Tyson Kidd face turns where one week he just became a face for no real reason. Even Alberto Del Rio had a better reason. Mind you it wasn't a very good build up and reason, but a reason nonetheless. Bray had his mask pulled off, but Bray rolled outside for 30 seconds and put it back on while the referee counted to one. Bray took over after rolling back in. Bray with a “Suffocating Collision”, but that caused Corey to battle from underneath. Bray's mask ran away, so Graves hit a jumping knee to the face and tackled Bray's knee before going for the Lucky 13. The Family jumped on the apron, but Graves still slapped it on. Harper dropped an elbow on Graves leading to Bray picking up the win with the STO.
-After the match Kassius Ohno returned! Ohno ran in, attacked The Family and went after Bray before the numbers took over. Bray dropped him with an STO as the show went off the air.
That is it for this week. We have a Battle Royal next week! Who will become the #1 Contender to the title? Who is Big E. Langston's next challenger? Tune in in 7 days!