WWE Monday Night Raw
Memorial Day 2013
Calgary, Alberta, CA
We started tonight's edition of Raw with the annual tribute video to those who serve in the United States Armed Forces. We were then promised an update on Triple H's condition.
John Cena Returns
John Cena came out to completely wipe away what happened last week. He denied Ryback's ambulance match challenge, and instead offered a 3 Stages of Hell match. The ambulance match actually made sense, so it must go, obviously. The first stage would be a lumberjack match. JTG on PPV~! Stage two would be a Table's match. And the final stage, should it go that far, will be... oh, look, the ambulance again. Cena said that after he wins the first two falls, he'll use the ambulance to send Ryback to the hospital. Ryback came out and called himself Satan, and accepted the match before leaving.
Paul Heyman came out right after Ryback left, and introduced John Cena to the future WWE Champion, Curtis Axel. They changed his Tron name this week to 'Curtis' from 'Curt' as it was last week. Curtis just doesn't sound so intimidating. Paul Heyman wanted to give the crowd, for the first time ever, John Cena vs Curtis Axel. Cena accepted for later tonight.
Big E vs Alberto Del Rio
Alberto Del Rio beat Big E Langston via rollup. AJ Lee had taken a turnbuckle pad off for seemingly no reason, but the move backfired when Del Rio sent Big E into that corner. Big E, dazed, was easily schoolboyed for the pin. AJ was yelling at an upset Big E as the segment ended.
Backstage, Daniel Bryan was pacing in front of Kane. Kane told Bryan to stop thinking about being the weak link, and that he is tough and can do anything. Kane told Bryan to pull himself together, and this seemingly confirmed for Bryan that Kane thought he was the weak link. The two stopped arguing when Bret Hart came in to tell Bryan pretty much the exact same stuff Kane just told him. Bryan smiled in amazement and called Bret the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
That was awesome.
United States Championship Match
Dean Ambrose pinned Kofi Kingston to retain his championship. Ambrose pinned Kofi with his Headlock DDT. Just before the finish, Ambrose tripped Kofi while Kofi was on the ring apron, and Kofi went head first into the steel steps in the corner.
After the match, the other members of the Shield came down to celebrate. Kane & Daniel Bryan ran in as we went to break.
Tag Team Championship Match
Seth Rollins pinned Kane to win the match and allow The Shield to retain the tag titles. The title match began during the commercial break on WWE App. News flash: Daniel Bryan is great. His fire in tonight's match was absolutely awesome. Seth Rollins even pulled out a surfboard on Bryan in this one. The finishing sequence began with Daniel Bryan beating up on Roman Reigns outside the ring. Kane wanted Bryan back on the apron in their corner so Kane could tag him in. Bryan ignored Kane, and tried to deliver a running knee on Reigns. Reigns caught Bryan and slammed him, and as Kane was distracted, Rollins came off the top to deliver his knee to Kane's head. This match wasn't a classic by any means, but it will surely be tough to beat on tonight's show.
Michael Cole sold the story that as Bryan was so overwhelmed with trying to prove he wasn't the weak link, that he may have in fact cost his team the match.
There have been many more commercials than usual, at least it seems that way. Maybe I'm wrong. There were two breaks during the Kofi-Ambrose match, and two during the tag match, though.
Triple H Update: He was advised not to fly to Raw this week, but they hope to have him at Raw next week.
The Miz came out, and the WWE Universe will pick what Miz will be for the next match.
#WWEActive: What will Miz be? Guest Referee, Guest Commentator, or Guest Ring Announcer
Wade Barrett vs FANDANGO
With 85% of the vote, Miz was voted as the referee. Miz was getting in Wade's way on purpose, and Wade finally had enough to pushed Miz out of the way. Miz responded by giving the Skullcrushing Finale to Wade, allowing FANDANGO to get the pinfall victory.
After the match, Miz kicked FANDANGO down as he was dancing with Summer Rae. Summer fell on top of FANDANGO, and Miz counted three.
Shawn Michaels is here. He advised Cena not to wrestle tonight, and Cena should listen to avoid what happened to Triple H last week. Cena was like "lol no way dude."
Backstage, Natalya was celebrating her birthday. 3MB showed up and pushed her cake into Hornswoggle's face.
3MB vs Khali & Brodus Clay & Tensai
Brodus Clay pinned Heath Slater with the running splash. Squash of a match. Khali hit Slater with the chop to allow Clay to hit his splash. After the match, Great Khali led the singing of Happy Birthday to Natalya. The new age Oddities danced in the ring as the segment ended.
Highlight Reel w/ Paul Heyman
So glad they haven't given Paul Heyman his own entrance theme. It's a nice touch that he comes out silently when not with a client. Chris Jericho wanted to talk about CM Punk, while Paul only wanted to discuss Brock and Axel. Jericho asked Paul if Punk's leaving surprised Heyman. Jericho asked Heyman where Punk is. Heyman didn't answer, only saying that soon he would have an announcement on Punk's return. Paul said Punk was in Chicago, and Jericho said that the next PPV was also in Chicago. Jericho said Punk cannot continue to call himself the Best In The World while also being away from WWE. Jericho tried to call himself the best, but Paul kept cutting him off. Jericho challenged Punk to face him at Payback. Paul accepted on Punk's behalf.
Diva's Tag Team Match
The Bellas beat Natalya and Kaitlyn when Brie pinned Natalya. Kaitlyn went to spear Brie, but she moved and Natalya took the move. The Bellas sang 'Happy Birthday' to the fallen Natalya after the match. The announcers made fun of their singing. Natalya cried.
Backstage, Bret Hart told Curtis to ditch Paul Heyman.
The Wyatt Family is Coming
We saw the initial promo video for the future debut of the former Husky Harris. In the promo, we also saw Luke Harper and Rowan. So, it appears, the entire Wyatt Family of NXT will be debuting soon.
Sheamus & Randy Orton vs Team Rhodes Scholars
Sheamus pinned Damien Sandow after White Noise and a brogue kick. This was the 10:30 bore me to death segment. Match went seemingly forever, and was fine but completely useless.
I haven't had any M&M's in forever.
Randy Orton vs Dean Ambrose is announced for the Smackdown main event. Yikes.
Cole promoted tonight's Bret Hart Appreciation Night on the WWE App for after the Raw show. Jerry Lawler joked during the show that he luckily didn't ruin this night by having a heart attack, like he did for Pat Patterson Appreciation Night last year.
Curt Axel vs John Cena
Curtis Axel beat John Cena via count out. Axel already has a new theme song, a further remixed version of Mr. Perfect's WWF theme. During the match, Axel hit a Perfect Plex which popped the crowd, but it didn't get the victory.
Shortly after that, an ambulance dangerously sped into the arena, and John Cena left the match to investigate. This gave Axel the count out victory. Cena was opening the ambulance doors searching for Ryback, but the vehicle was empty. It was a trap, you see. Ryback ambushed Cena from behind, and beat him up briefly until Cena countered for an AA. Ryback escaped, pushed Cena off the stage, and left.
Cena stood near the stage, looking at the ring as Axel celebrated a count out win.