WWE Monday Night Raw
August 4, 2014
Noteworthy: Stephanie and Brie main evented the show again, as they head towards their main event match at SummerSlam. The PPV's semi main was also built up through video promos throughout the show. The WWE Network is only $9.99 per month!
Triple H Books Some Matches
He did it. He broke the streak. The Pantsless streak, that is. Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, and Kane flanked the Authority out to the ring to open our show. Orton and Rollins were dressed up, seemingly assured that HHH would not be booking them in a show opening match. Kane, however, was dressed to grapple. Triple H then proceeded to both plug the WWE Network, and troll everyone who mocks the network plugs. Hunter talked about SummerSlam being in two weeks, live on The Network. For only $9.99, he added. He promoted Ambrose vs Rollins, which again, you can see for just $9.99 on the WWE Network. Hunter made Dean Ambrose vs Alberto Del Rio, then Seth Rollins vs Rob Van Dam, for tonight in a Beat The Clock series. The man with the quickest victory would get to name the stipulations for the Ambrose vs Rollins match at SummerSlam.
Stephanie McMahon spoke next, mentioning there would be a contract signing tonight for her own match against Brie Bella at SummerSlam. A match that you, if you're so inclined, can view live for only $9.99 on WWE Network. After Stephanie was done, Hunter took the mic back and hyped Brock vs John Cena as the SummerSlam main event, which can be yours for just $9.99 on WWE Network. Randy Orton was tired of waiting, so he took over and threatened to end Roman Reigns. This brought the former Shield member out, who threatened back to beat Orton up tonight for free. Instead, Roman was put into a Last Man Standing match to start the show... against The Demon Kane.
Roman Reigns defeated Kane in a Last Man Standing Match in about fifteen minutes. The match was fine, as fine as a Kane match can be these days, anyway. Roman won with a spear, which after fifteen minutes of battle was enough to lay Kane out. Weird spot late, as Kane was down after a Superman punch, but because it wasn't the finish, Mike Chioda apparently thought it wasn't significant enough to count Kane out for. Michael Cole, yelling at commentary, is all about making sure refs pay attention closely these days.
A Brock Lesnar - John Cena promo video was shown. Pretty good sit down video, with quick clips of each man talking about the main event in a serious manner.
If you weren't aware, WWE Network is available now for only $9.99 per month!
Mark Henry defeated Damien Sandow via World's Strongest Slam. Damien Sandow came out to the Oklahoma fight song, getting a round of boos from this Texas crowd. The returning Mark Henry, wearing a Texas shirt, then entered and quickly made waste of Sandow in under a minute. Henry shook hands with Vince Young, former University of Texas QB, after the match.
Backstage: Adam Rose was standing in front of "the mirror from Oculus." The mirror is supposed to show you the worst version of yourself, I guess. So Rose looked into it, and he saw himself dressed in a suit being a lemon. Kid's stuff. Although, I can't even say that, because what kids are watching Oculus?
Next week, Hulk Hogan returns to celebrate his birthday! Surprises were promised, so I assume this is where Sting debuts. If he doesn't, I will keep assuming Sting's imminent debut no matter what.
Dean Ambrose defeated Albert Del Rio in a Beat The Clock match. Ambrose won in 15:42 with the Dirty Deeds. Del Rio had worn down Ambrose's left arm and shoulder the entire match, which caused Ambrose to fail twice to nail the Dirty Deeds. Dean's a thinker, though, as he came up with a brilliant idea after those two failed attempts. He decided to try Dirty Deeds with the right arm. It worked! Ambrose gets the win in a rather lengthy Beat The Clock match.
Rusev defeated Sin Cara via the Accolade on the WWE App. That's right, the WWE App got a complete match tonight. Rusev squashed Sin Cara, then we came back on air with a Lana promo. Lana spoke ill of Barack Obama and Americans, which led to Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter entering the ring. Zeb spoke about Swagger fighting for the average American and the troops, and the Texas crowd cheered the Americans on. After more words, Lana and Zeb faced off. Rusev took this moment to attack Swagger, and the two fought briefly until Swagger was disposed of outside the ring. Zeb, vulnerable and alone in the ring now, was spared by Lana. She led Rusev out of the ring, while trash talking Zeb, as Jerry Lawler wondered why Lana was showing compassion there.
Dolph Ziggler defeated Cesaro via Zig Zag. This was a quick match, lasting only two minutes. Miz, on commentary, said his whole family was going to be there at SummerSlam as he has another Hollywood moment. After the match, Miz got in the ring to confront Ziggler. Miz told Ziggler to laugh it up, then Dolph teased a superkick. Miz flinched, so Dolph laughed some more.
Backstage: Paige wished AJ a speedy recovery from the attack she laid in on Smackdown. Paige said it was a dream to face her idol for the title at SummerSlam.
Stardust & Goldust defeated RybAxel. Another quick match, with The 'Dusts continuing their search for the cosmic key. Cody got the pin on Axel with a move he now calls the 'Dark Matter.'
Backstage: Kane walked in to the Authority's office with his head down. He took off his mask, gave it to Stephanie, and walked away. Stephanie looked on in stunned silence, and the transition to Kane's next character arc is on.
Chris Jericho defeated Luke Harper via DQ. With the loss, Luke Harper joins Rowan in being unable to accompany Bray Wyatt at ringside at SummerSlam. Bray has to go it alone against Jericho. Rowan had come out with Harper for the bout, but Wyatt was notably absent. When Jericho had Harper in the Walls of Jericho late, the lights went out. As they came back, Bray Wyatt was at ringside pacing. He had Jericho's attention, so Rowan attempted an attack. Jericho saw it coming, but the distraction allowed Wyatt to get in and take Jericho down. Wyatt attacked Jericho's throat, then gave him the Sister Abigail.
AJ Lee returns on Main Event tomorrow night, which you can see on WWE Network for just $9.99 per month.
Diego defeated FANDANGO via pinfall. Diego won with the backstabber in a nothing match. Layla and Summer Rae came out with the bull and Diego, so Fandango attempted to even the score by coming to the ring with Hornswoggle. Swoggle was dressed like Fandango, and the two danced with each other. After the match, Hornswoggle turned his back on Fandango and left with the girls.
Backstage: Randy Orton cut to a video package of his beatdown on Roman Reigns from last week's Raw. He told Renee Young that Roman is nowhere near as sick and destructive than he is. He told Roman that he just may kick his head off at SummerSlam.
Bo Dallas defeated R-Truth via pinfall. Bo won when he countered the Ax kick into a rollup, while also gaining leverage with a handful of tights. After the loss, being the poor sport that he is, R-Truth attacked Bo from behind. Bo, being the superior athlete that he is, overcame the cheap attack and beat down Truth at ringside. Bo smiled after his conquest, and ran a victory lap around the ring.
Bray Wyatt interrupted the announcers plugging the Network to tell Chris Jericho that he is the nightmare at the end of Chris' dreams. When Bray was done, we went back to commentary for another Network plug.
They aired a lengthy Brock vs Cena promo video, complete with Brock saying that he'll leave John in a pool of his own urine, vomit, and blood at SummerSlam.
Heath Slater defeated Seth Rollins via pinfall. Slater rolled Rollins up in five minutes. Of course, RVD was supposed to be Rollins' opponent. Before the bout, however, Justin Roberts announced that the Authority picked a new opponent for Rollins - Heath Slater. Slater came out as the announcers scoffed at the announcement, doing everything they could to make you aware that Slater is an easily beatable joke. Right after the match began, Dean Ambrose appeared at ringside. He proceeded to try and distract Rollins for a good four minutes, toying around with Rollins' briefcase at ringside. He tore up the contract, poured soda and popcorn in the briefcase, then stuffed JBL's hat into the briefcase. Rollins couldn't keep his focus on Slater, eventually leading to Slater getting this squeaker victory. Dean Ambrose will pick the stipulation for the SummerSlam bout, and he'll do it this Friday on Smackdown.
Another promo for Brock vs Cena, this time, highlighting clips from their encounter at Extreme Rules 2012. That show was being aired right after Raw on WWE Network, also, which you can see for just $9.99 per month.
Most Important Contract Signing Ever All Time
With Michael Cole in the ring to moderate, HHH accompanied Stephanie McMahon and Nikki Bella backed up her sister, Brie, out for this contract signing.
I don't know if having the bad guy, HHH, promote the Network so much is a good idea. Usually people don't want to do what the bad guys tell them to do. Not that it will matter, but it was counterproductive, in a way. HHH, anyway, promoted the Network in his opening remarks. He said he was going to recuse himself from the signing, since he is the COO, but will support Stephanie as a loving husband. Brie told them to get on with it before everyone pukes, then cut to a video from the last couple of weeks running down the Brie-Steph story. After a bad joke from Brie about prison love, she said she'd embarrass Stephanie in front of the entire universe next Sunday. She was going to get revenge for not just her and Bryan, but also for Big Show, the Rhodes brothers, and everyone the Authority has disrespected. Stephanie called Brie a wannabe reality star who abandoned her husband to try and make a name for herself at Stephanie's expense. Stephanie signed the contract, and said she'd tear Brie's heart out. Steph then quickly slapped Nikki, sending her down. HHH pushed Brie into the corner, as Stephanie lifted Nikki up for a pedigree. Hunter was so proud. The Authority chanted Yes! to themselves as Brie was trapped in the corner. Brie, the genius she is, then slapped HHH and escaped. Stephanie, however, cut her off and hit the pedigree again. Stephanie and Hunter made out, while both Bellas were face down on the mat.
Stephanie vs Brie is obviously not the "real main event," but it certainly is what they would consider the #2 match on the show. This was the third week in a row where this feud was the main focus, and twice in a row as the last segment on the show. This week wasn't as hot as last week, but it was still well done. Well, except for Brie. I've been a defender of Brie's vocal skills, but this week, she took a step back. She did not hold her own. Oh well.
Next Week: A huge show. Brock Lesnar, Paul Heyman, and John Cena return. WWE will also celebrate Hulk Hogan's birthday with special guests Sting, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Virgil, Mr. T, Madeline Zima, and more. (*Guests subject to change)