WWE Monday Night Raw
September 9, 2013
Toronto, Ontario, CA
Edge Hosts The Cutting Edge
Tony Chimel did Edge's ring intro. Edge is here because Triple H thought it would be best for business to have a reunion of Edge's most famous tag team. No, not Edge & Christian. Rated RKO~! Edge said Randy was boring, and that Edge was the better superstar on the team, so he declined to have Orton on the show. The crowd erupted in "YES!" chants as Edge buried Randy for being HHH's lackey. He invited Daniel Bryan out instead. Edge asked Bryan if he can beat Randy Orton. Apparently the Orton vs Bryan match and Bryan's subsequent victory that kicked off Bryan's title shot run is completely forgotten. Bryan said yes, and Orton came out to take a few shots at... Edge. Edge and Orton exchanged some words and harsh comments, while Bryan stood around just nodding along. Triple H came out next, and he exchanged some words with Edge. Still, Bryan is standing around while the grown ups were talking. Edge mocked Triple H's past failures at judging talent, bringing up Jericho and John Cena. Triple H said he's wrong sometimes, but right more often. He was right about one certain failure - Edge. He said the Rated R Superstar experiment failed. Hunter told Edge he never drew a dime. Hunter said it is up to the superstars to prove him wrong, and Bryan can prove him wrong tonight by going one on one with Dean Ambrose. Shield will be in Ambrose's corner, while Bryan will have Big Show in his corner. Edge made a crack about Hunter's marriage, so Trips said that while he can't hurt Edge, he can hurt the ones he loves... The Shield then brought out a beaten Christian, and Edge rushed to his aide as we went to commercial.
Bryan, total geek.
Backstage, Edge rushed in to Hunter's office. The Shield stood in between Edge and Hunter. Edge said he wished he could be cleared to fight Hunter. Hunter said that'll never happen. Hunter called Toronto his town, and Edge needs to leave his town. Short segment, but HHH was great.
Kofi Kingston vs Curtis Axel
Kofi Kingston won via DQ when Axel had Kofi in the corner and would not stop landing knees to the head. Heyman was upset, telling Axel that if that happens Sunday, then Heyman would have to go one on one with CM Punk. Axel then went to try and finish Kofi off, but Kofi recovered enough to land Trouble in Paradise. Heyman stood in the ring next to the fallen Axel with a look of complete misery.
A short vignette of the history of Goldust aired. It's Goldust vs Randy Orton later tonight with Cody's job on the line, again.
Backstage, Paul Heyman slipped on some water. Really. So Axel helped Paul to a trainer's room. Heyman refused help from the WWE doctor, and said he'd get checked by his own doctor. Announcers played it off like he really slipped, with no mention that this is probably a set up to get out of the match.
Backstage, Booker T is still hanging around, and he told Big Show that he did what he had to do. Booker said he would have dome the same thing. Booker was like evil Booker tonight, pushing Show to keep doing what he's doing.
Dolph Ziggler vs Bray Wyatt
Bray Wyatt pinned Dolph after Sister Abigail in Bray's best match since debuting the new name in WWE. Remember back in April when Dolph was super hot with the crowd and was almost a sure thing to have a big run? Well, don't, because you'll be happier if you forget about it.
Another vignette for Goldust, this time featuring more of his comedy work in WWE.
Paul Heyman's Horrible Plan
Paul Heyman, Curtis Axel, and some guy came down to the ring, sans music, slowly. Heyman was using crutches. He claimed he was injured in the hallway slip, and the third guy is his personal doctor, Michael Kirschenbaum. Dr. Kirschenbaum said Heyman cannot compete, and Heyman will be going home as he is unable to wrestle on Sunday. Brad Maddox came out, with Dr. Sampson, and said Heyman needed to be evaluated by WWE's doctor. Heyman looked at Brad, or stared is more like it. As if he thought his plan was really going to work. Well, Dr. Sampson evaluated Heyman, and said he was fine. So CM Punk came out. Heyman was walking fine now. Or running, as Heyman ran away while Punk bashed Heyman's doctor with a kendo stick several times. Punk was just crushing this guy with kendo shots. Poor innocent doctor.
Total Divas vs Partial Divas
Natalya, Naomi, and Brie Bella beat Alicia Fox, Aksana, and Layla in only a partial train wreck of a segment. Natalya tapped Alicia with the Sharpshooter. The Total Divas team were the babyfaces. AJ Lee was on commentary. The match was okay, but no one was paying attention. AJ was arguing with JBL, Cole, and Lawler on commentary. She also called them out for not really paying attention to some of the Divas storylines. At one point, it seemed like the three were ganging up on her for no real reason. AJ was great, everything else was shit. The crowd popped for Natalya getting the win, though.
Alberto Del Rio vs R-Truth
RVD spoke briefly in an inset promo during ADR's entrance, stating that the initials of the guy leaving Detroit with the World title will be RVD. No one cared about this match. The crowd chanted for the three announcers, Undertaker, RVD, and did other various things to entertain themselves while Truth and Del Rio wrestled. And that's about it. Oh, and ADR won with the armbar.
Primetime Players vs Tons of Funk vs Real Americans vs Usos vs 3MB in tag team turmoil will be the Night of Champions kickoff match. The winners will face The Shield for the tag titles on the PPV.
Zeb Colter called Canada "America's boring cousin."
Antonio Cesaro vs Santino Marella
This was another match where the crowd was too busy chanting to entertain themselves, until Antonio Cesaro did the giant swing to Santino for a lengthy amount of time. This giant swing won this crowd over big, and garnered a loud "Holy Shit" chant. The swing made Santino too dizzy to hit his Cobra move on the first attempt. Santino made a second attempt later, but Cesaro countered that one too. Santino finally got the win with a wacky counter to a Cesaro punch, landing in a pinning position for the three count. Santino celebrated his usual way, while Zeb and Cesaro were shocked and angry. After the giant swing, the crowd was way into this match. Well done from both of these guys.
Damien Sandow came out to speak, but before he could, there was supposed to be a sponsorship reading in a Night of Champions promo. Well, Jerry Lawler didn't get the memo. So, Lawler finally rushed the reading while Sandow awkwardly awaited to speak. Cole and JBL were visibly hysterical in the background.
Damien Sandow vs The Miz
Big "Let's go Sandow" chants early. Sandow pinned Miz with a schoolboy when Miz was distracted by Fandango coming out to dance.
Big pop for Renee Young, big pop for Goldust. Backstage, Renee asked Goldust if he was mentally prepared for his match tonight. Goldust said he is the screwup of the family, and tonight he can make up for it. Triple H walked up to him and said if Goldust lost, he has no idea what will end up of Cody and his new wife. He put more pressure on Dustin and left.
Goldust vs Randy Orton
Randy Orton pinned Goldust with the RKO. This may have been the longest Goldust match in a decade. I care not to do the research on this, however. This match was awesome for a number of reasons. The story was Goldust trying to stick up for the Rhodes name, and even used Cody's finisher to try and put away Orton. Goldust got a super close near fall with CrossRhodes, but ate an RKO at last to take the loss. Goldust was very tired, moving very slowly towards the end, but I loved this match. Orton stood over Goldust after the match and said Goldust's dream of saving Cody's job has been shattered, just like Bryan's dream of winning the WWE title will be.
Backstage, after break, a teary eyed Goldust wandered the halls. Stephanie McMahon met up with him. She was rubbing in Cody's disappointment about Goldust's loss. She said he let his whole family and the WWE Universe down. She was at her meanest here. So good. She finished by telling Dustin to tell his dad she said hi. Goldust walked off crying.
Rob Van Dam vs The Ryback
Ryback was Disqualified for crushing RVD's nuts into the ring post several times. After the DQ loss, Ryback finished RVD off with the Shellshock. So, Ryback just totally dominated this chump who is going for the World's title on Sunday.
Backstage, Stephanie told Big Show that if he touches the Shield tonight, he'll be terminated. Big Show responded by destroying an old television set that just happened to be on a table nearby.
Daniel Bryan vs Dean Ambrose
This is a WWE Raw main event in 2013. Two years ago, who would have thought? Daniel Bryan pinned Dean Ambrose with the small package. Big Show was cheering on Bryan from ringside, but was seated further away from the ring, forced to sit and watch while not being able to touch anyone from the Shield. This was another high intensity match. Bryan did a good job avoiding Shield interference for the most part, eventually getting the win out of nowhere after a very good match.
After the match, Randy Orton came out. Bryan didn't wait for him to enter the ring, instead launching himself through the ropes to dive on Orton on the entrance way. The Shield attacked Bryan from behind, allowing Orton to recover and hit an RKO in the ring on Bryan while Show looked on disgusted. Again, the show ended with Orton posing over Bryan's lifeless body while the focus was put more on Big Show.
BUT WAIT~! The show isn't over. Hunter and Steph came out to tell Big Show to be professional. Professional, in this case, is hitting D-Bry with a knockout punch. Big Show was reluctant, of course. Orton was trying to motivate Show to do as he was told. Orton was subtly great here. While Show and Orton were arguing, Bryan was recovering in the corner of the ring. When Orton finally turned around, Bryan hit the Busaiku Knee on Orton and the show ended with Bryan posing with the belt as the crowd cheered.
Is it just me or did it seem like there was a lot on this show, while at the same time really nothing was new at all. Goldust was, in 2013, a breath of fresh air.