By Trent Vandrisse
Here's the Ohio Valley Wrestling television report for April 23rd, which is episode #609. Dean Hill, Gilbert Corsey, and Kenny Bolin were the TV announcers. Ron Hed was the ring announcer, and Brittany DeVore was on hand as well. The crowd looked to be around 100. Things have taken a zany turn in the once again Jim Cornette-less OVW. The OVW Facebook page is heavily hyping that owner Danny Davis will have a "huge announcement" at the TV tapings this coming Wednesday night, April 27th.
1. Jamin Olivencia beat Randy Terrez
Dean Hill plugged tonights TV main event, which will be OVW heavyweight champion Mike Mondo vs James "Moose" Thomas in a "No holds barred" match. Hill also revealed a new stipulation that all of Bolin Services 2.0 will be banned from ringside during that match. Kenny Bolin wasn't at all happy about that.
Olivencia and Terrez traded arm drags back and forth early on. Terrez hit a 'Rana on Olivencia, that knocked him out of the ring. Terrez then hit a suicide dive thru the ropes on Olivencia. The announcers brought up Olivencia's concussion issues from last summer, and wondered if he was really healthy now.
Back in the ring, Olivencia with some hard forearm blows to the head of Terrez, followed by his hard running body block to the corner move on Terrez. Terrez came back with his firemans carry into a somersault, a forward Samoan drop of sorts. Terrez then went to the top rope, but missed on a twisting corkscrew moonsault attempt, which he calls the "Thrill Kill". Oliveicna then caught Terrez with his jumping DDT finisher and won it. Fun match while it lasted.
Raphael Constantine was in the locker room looking at something. Shiloh Jonze came up to Constantine and wanted to tag with him tonight, saying if they win, they will be "shoe ins" for the tag team title shot at the May 14th Saturday Night Special. Jonze did the same thing with "Smooth" Johnny Spade last week, then lost that match yet again. Constantine told Jonze he was lying to him. He said Jonze only wanted to tag with him tonight so he could end his losing streak. Constantine though said he would team with Jonze tonight, if only to take out some frustrations. Constantine then left, and Jonze peeked at what Constantine had been looking at. It was a photograph, I couldn't make out of who exactly. Almost looked like Paredyse.
Gilbert Corsey was in the ring, and out came The Elite(Ted McNaler & Adam Revolver), in their wrestling gear, and holding a clip board with an open contract on it. The Elite are the current OVW Southern Tag Team champions.
Corsey said the Elite still has no opponents for the May 14th Saturday Night Special. Revolver said that was because due to stipulations where teams must split up forever, Ryan Nemeth & Paredyse, and Fighting Spirit(Raphael Constantine & Christopher Silvio) are no longer tag teams, and Revolver said they were responsible for both of those break ups. Corsey took exception to that logic, but Revolver cut him off. Revolver then spoke of causing The Iwi(King & Te Tahi) to lose their green cards and having to leave the country last week. Revolver openly asked who wants some of The Elite. Out came Raul Lamotta & Jimbo Onno. Lamotta said they were a team The Elite has not eliminated, and that they have beaten The Elite once before. Lamotta said he knows the games The Elite play, so he asked for a match against them now, and if they win, they get the title shot on May 14th. McNaler said no to that idea. Onno had a proposition, but McNaler cut him off and made fun of how Onno talks. Onno said if they lose tonight, they will break up as a team. Lamotta took huge exception to his tag team partner blurting that out. He said if Onno wants to break up, they don't need the Elite to do it, we're done. Lamotta then left, so yet another team in OVW is no more. McNaler picked on Onno by doing an impression of him. Onno grabbed McNaler, but Revolver attacked him from behind. The Elite hit their double team spear finisher on Onno, and then took credit for breaking up yet another team in OVW. Like I said, things are wacky here now, but I never liked the team of Lamotta & Onno anyhow.
Brittany DeVore did a backstage interview with James "Moose" Thomas, Prince Bolin, Mo Green, and the Personal assistant, who was formerly the Paparazzi guy. The talk was of Bolin Services being banned from ringside as Thomas faces OVW champions Mike Mondo tonight in a "No holds barred" match. Bolin called OVW a "Political nightmare". Bolin said Thomas was still the most dominant man in OVW, with or without the numbers advantage.
2. Jason Wayne & "Smooth" Johnny Spade beat Raphael Constantine & Shiloh Jonze
Jonze and Constantine were trying to one up each other during the introductions. The large and powerful rookie Jason Wayne threw the diminutive Constantine around like a rag doll early on, including picking him up for an over head slam, then just dropping him. Jonze came in and tried to help, but again celebrated too soon after gaining a small advantage, and Wayne gave them both a double clothesline. Spade then came in and gave them both a double dropkick from the top rope. Spade with big chops on Jonze. Jonze again gained a momentary advantage, but took time to savor it, and Spade took his head off with a superkick. Spade with a combination DDT and faceplant on Jonze and Constantine. Wayne with a full nelson slam on Jonze. Spade back in with a Swanton on Jonze to win it. Like the first match, this too was fun while it lasted.
The postmatch saw Jonze go nuts and take a chair and slam it on the floor, and against the ringpost. Some drinks of containing red liquid were then delivered to the announce desk, and Hill, Corsey and Kenny Bolin all had a Hawaiian Leis draped around their necks. Bolin questioned why he received the pink Lei.
Mike Mondo was in the back with headphones around his neck, and appeared to be holding an old school Walkman. Mondo talked about his "No holds barred" match against James "Moose" Thomas tonight, saying it never should have come to this. Mondo said he was going to bring his brass knuckles. Mondo said he was the better man, and would prove it tonight.
Out came Paredyse, also wearing a pink Hawaiian lei, and sea shells that covered his nipples. He said this was the debut of his new talk show called "A moment in Paredyse". Paredsye talked about all the storms in the Midwest. He told a Charlie Sheen joke. Paredsye said before he got to his guest, he was going to show a video that his guest is shopping around to the networks as a new reality show.
The video started out with OVW TV champion Mohammad Ali Vaez at home wearing a robe and holding a black cat. Vaez' "employee", Rudy Switchblade, was there doing the dishes. They then cut to Vaez telling Switchblade to clean out the litter box, because Toby the cat likes it clean. Switchblade asked Vaez what he feeds the cat. They then cut to a funny shot of the cat with its eyes bugged out. Switchblade was then back in the kitchen, and Vaez dumped a bunch of pots and pans in the sink for Switchblade to clean.
They then came back to Paredyse, who was sitting at the announce desk. The announcers were all gone from the desk. Paredyse called out Vaez, who came out with Mr. B, and Rudy Switchblade. B was holding a sign saying "25 days", since in 25 more days Vaez will be the longest reigning TV champion in OVW history. Switchblade was dejectedly holding a sign saying "Must see Ali". Vaez sat in a chair next to the announce desk.
Paredyse said Vaez was making a reality show about the television champion, instead of defending the television championship, which is the reality of the situation in the first place. Vaez confirmed he was shopping a reality show. Vaez demanded Switchblade give him a napkin to spit his gum into. Paredsye told Switchblade he didn't have to do that. Vaez said Switchlade did have to do that, because he owes Vaez money, and he's working for him to work it off. Last week Switchblade had his wrestling license taken away, so he can't make money that way. Paredyse asked if Switchblade was Vaez' slave. Vaez said not exactly, but then demanded that Switchblade shine his shoes, saying it was good TV. Paredyse told Switchblade not to do that. Vaez said he did have to do that. Vaez then ordered Switchblade to hand him his drink. Paredyse again told Switchblade he didn't have to do that. Vaez got in Switchblade's face about giving him his drink, and Paredsye implored Switchblade not to do it. Finally Paredyse said he'd give Vaez his drink, and threw it on his shirt. Paredsye and Vaez then got face to face. Paredyse went to the ring and asked for a TV title match right now. Vaez demanded that Switchblade go and take Paredyse out. Switchblade said he would, expect he doesn't have a license. Vaez said he would not defend now against Paredyse, but said he would do so next week, and left.
They showed Mondo and Thomas warming up in the back.
They showed clips from last week where Thomas & Rocco Bellagio beat Mondo & "Lowrider" Matt Barela when Bellagio pinned Barela after a low blow. Thomas and Mondo had a pull apart during the post match.
3. Mike Mondo beat James "Moose" Thomas to retain the OVW Heavyweight title in a No holds barred match
TV main event time. The announcers spoke of it looking strange to see Thomas without his entourage. Mondo with punches on Thomas early. Thomas answered with a back elbow, but missed a big splash attempt. Both guys on the apron, Mondo chopped Moose off it to the floor. Mondo dove off the apron, but Thomas caught him and drove Mondo back first against the ring post. Thomas set a chair on the floor. The announcers spoke of the wild melee Mondo and Thomas had at a recent house show in Austin, Indiana. Mondo with a trash can lid shot to the head of Thomas, which sent Thomas to a seated position in the chair. Mondo with a rolling dive off the apron to the seated Thomas. Mondo went under the ring to get some plunder. Mondo found a metal trash can and a Kendo stick, causing Dean Hill to mention Tojo Yamamoto. Back in the ring, Mondo placed the trash can over the head of Thomas and beat it with the Kendo stick. Thomas came back and dropped Mondo chest first on the trash can. Thomas hit a Vader bomb, he almost always misses that move. Thomas ripped the belt off the referees pants, and whipped Mondo with it, and then choked him with it. Thomas with a trash can lid shot to Mondo's head. Both guys back on the floor. Thomas whipped Mondo into the side wall. Both guys back in the ring. Mondo shoulder blocked Thomas back out of the ring. Mondo with a dive out of the ring, but Thomas greeted him with another trash can lid to the head for his trouble. Back in the ring, Thomas went up top and appeared to be thinking of a Moonsault, but Mondo cut him off, and Thomas ended up in the tree of woe. Mondo put the trash can in front of Thomas' face, and hit a coast to coast dropkick to the can. Mondo with two trash can lids, and played taps on Thomas' head with them. Mondo wedged a chair in the corner. Mondo whipped Thomas with the refs belt. Mondo with a top rope headbutt, but Thomas grabbed a trash can lid, and Mondo hit that head first. Thomas went for a chair shot, but Mondo with a low blow, then he sent Thomas to the corner into the wedged chair. Mondo then with a dropkick to the face of Thomas as he held a chair in front of him. Mo Green ran in with powder, but Mondo kicked the powder into Green's face instead, and gave him a trash can lid shot to the head. The announcers questioned why he was out there, but Kenny Bolin said this was no holds barred. The personal assistant ran out and swung a Kendo stick at Mondo, but Mondo ducked it and hit him with his "Gut check" finisher. Thomas with a chair shot to the head of Mondo, but couldn't put him away. A frustrated Thomas went to the floor and removed the padding from the concrete floor in front of the announce desk. Thomas teased a piledriver to Mondo on the concrete, but then changed his mind. Thomas went over and grabbed a big screen TV, and rolled it out. Thomas tried to throw Mondo into the TV, but Mondo slid to avoid it. Thomas then charged, and Mondo moved, and Thomas crashed into the TV set screen. It was clearly gimmicked, but this was quite a cool stunt for an Indy to pull off. I think Thomas has done a similar stunt in the past here, going thru a trunk then. Mondo dramatically dragged Moose to the ring. Mondo got it done, and went for the pin, but Prince Bolin pulled Mondo out of the ring. Mondo then chased Prince Bolin around as Bolin showed just how unathletic a man in his 20's can actually be. Back in the ring, Thomas laid the distracted Mondo out with his "Moose kick" finisher, but Mondo kicked out in a great near fall. That kick out clearly shocked some in the crowd. Prince Bolin held Mondo up with a trash can lid in front of him, but Mondo moved, and Prince Bolin took a "Moose kick", but that spot was horribly blown. Bolin should never do anything physical. Mondo went in his trunks and got his trusty brass knuckles. Mondo, on wobbly legs, hit Moose with the brass knuckles, and it took three shots to bring Moose down. This was finally enough for Mondo to win the match, and retain the title. This appeared to be the blow off of this program, but who knows? This really wasn't a great match, but like I said the crashing into the TV stunt was cool, and I thought the match did legit tell a Hell of a good story, and it was quite a spectacle, with an actual finish to it.