June 14, 2011
LIVE! From Providence, Rhode Island
by Emerson "My brother just misspelled Ahhhhh" Witner
Sorry, bro. I couldn't think of what to write.
Random Stupid Quote Of The Week: "Oh yes, I went home and watched over and over again last week." -Mr. Regal about last weeks Straight Outta Brooklyn segment.
Anyhoo, let us celebrate the release of the most boring tool ever on NXT: Jacob Novak!
Speaking of young Master Novak, his face is still the first you see in the opening credits.
Matt Striker looks like crap. I don't know what he was doing before the camera was rolling, but it wasn't brushing his hair or making sure he looked good.
Hornswoggle will not be with us tonight, after the beating at the hands of R-Truth last night.
We have the Talk The Talk Challenge for 3 Redemption Points.
Titus has 19 points
Darren has 7
Conor has 3
Lucky (w/robe) has 0
Their subject was who should be eliminated.
Lucky aka Da Lish aka Mr. Steal Your Girl said Titus should be given the a-boot. He has been riding his Pro's coattails and has 0 charisma, 0 personality, 0 in-ring ability and will make WWE 0 dollars.
Titus says Lucky because he stole his Grandmother robes. Titus graduated from the University of Florida and is a Hall Of Famer (in what?!?!?!). Lucky has been hiding behind Maryse.
Conor thinks Darren Young should be eliminated. Boy, I wonder who Darren will say. Anyhoo, Darren main evented SummerSlam last year and dropped the ball and blew it.
Darren said he should not be eliminated because he dreamed every night about being a WWE Superstar, which was not the question. Conor made the biggest mistake of his career. This led to Darren forearming Conor in the general vicinity of Conor's face...or neck...or chest....not really sure, but Darren ran off.
Here's where it gets fun. It is up to the live crowd in Providence to pick the winner. Lucky gets booed and Conor gets slight cheers.
Now, if you have never seen either man, Titus and Darren are both black men. Titus is very muscular and Darren looks like John Cena facially.
Well, Maryse asked what they thought of Darren and they cheered him like the second coming of Christ, which was strange.
Then they asked what they thought of Titus and the crowd responded similarly, so we got a playoff.
What made this fun is the audience realized they cheered for the wrong black guy the first time, so this time DY got no reaction, Titus got the ovation and the win.
Darren Young (w/Chavo Guerrero) vs Yoshi Tatsu
Yes, Yoshi is still here wrestling every week, despite Byron Saxton being eliminated two weeks ago.
Fans chanting for Yoshi as Yoshi works Darren's arm. For three minutes, we got Yoshi with various armbars and arm holds, which would be great...except Yoshi's finisher is a Spinning Wheel Kick from the top rope.
Yoshi dropkicked Darren right in the face, but Darren gave Yoshi a neckbreaker on the apron.
JTG felt this was a good time to randomly walk out. He walked by Hulk Hogan Fan in the front row as we went to commercial.
Back from commercial and JTG has joined the announcer's desk.
If you want entertainment, just hunt down the last 5-6 minutes of this match and just listen to Mr. Regal's commentary as it was just a non-stop promo on JTG.
The hilarious thing is the fans were actually into the match, but who cares? We have Regal tearing JTG a new asshole.
Yoshi retakes the advantage with a nice Inzigiri. Mr. Regal asked JTG to tell the WWE Universe about his awful career the past 4 years.
Back in the ring Yoshi hits a Shining Wizard for a 2 count, before climbing to the top.
Chavo distracts Yoshi long enough for Darren to toss him off the top and make the winning pinfall!
Winner: Darren Young
After the match JTG hits the ring and the heels with a double team on Yoshi. Chavo just stood there for 30 seconds, until Vladimir Kozlov and Conor O'Brian made the save.
An awesome promo for the John Cena-R-Truth match aired. For the love of all that is holy, why are these promo's always aired on the last NXT before a ppv? Air them on Raw! After watching the video I actually wanted to watch the match.
Da Lish is backstage combing his hair...must've stolen Striker's hairbrush. Maryse walks up and apologizes for her behavior last week.
Lucky is saying it's alright and he'll buy her a new purse, but Maryse stole Lucky's credit card and is having someone fix it right now. At 10:30 on a Tuesday night in Providence.
Lucky Cannon (w/robe & Tyson Kidd) vs Titus O'Neil
At least it's not Titus vs Darren.
Lucky says that when Hornswoggle gets back, he is gonna kick him in the head.
Titus responded by having a boring match. The story was that Titus isn't the same without his little buddy in his corner.
Lucky apparently was "Most Likely To Steal Your Girl" in High School.
Lucky is on the attack with rear chinlocks and clotheslines. I am showing the proper amount of emotion to this match. Lucky has a boatload of charisma, but working with Titus makes him look like crap.
Titus fights back with power moves. Lucky cuts him off and picks him up in a Fireman's Carry. Titus slips behind, shoves Lucky into the ropes and nails the Clash Of The Titus! The crowd responded well for that one and Titus picks up the win!
Winner: Titus O'Neil
Not since AJ was eliminated way back in Season 3, have I disagreed with who was eliminated, as, yes, Lucky Cannon has been eliminated.
Okay, SmackDown is taped after this, right? So put him on the show, Friday. Seriously, the guy is better then having to sit through another 4 months of NXT. I want to point out that the final three is Titus O'Neil, who should win, Darren Young, who keeps screwing up simple moves, and Conor O'Brian, who lost all of his charisma when he stopped being a rat.