FCW TV report

FCW Television Report 23rd October 2011 by Mark Robinson

Show started off noting tonight's main event for the FCW Heavyweight Championship as the FCW Champion Leo Kruger takes on challenger Husky Harris.

For some reason Howard Finkel of all people was doing the ring announcing for this show but was rudely interrupted by Ricardo Rodriguez who had raided Super Crazy's wardrobe this evening. Ricardo pointed out it was not 1990 it was 2011 and that the Fink was no longer relevant. He said there was only person one important enough to introduce Ricardo and it was himself, and so he did... very well.

Match One: Ricardo Rodriguez Vs Leakee (pronounced Lay-Oh-Kee and also Lay-Ah-Kee))

They started with a lock-up before Leakee took control with a headlock. It was noted Leakee has only been wrestling for about 14 months. He missed a jumping elbow drop and Ricardo threw a couple of sweet kicks. It is very, very weird watching Ricardo have an actual competitive match and having control over another wrestler. Later on Leakee killed Ricardo with a clothesline and a kneelift to the face. After this Ricardo was thrown to the outside, he slingshot over the ropes ran across the ring, jumped onto the ropes to springboard back and got smashed in the face with a leaping forearm for his troubles.

Winner: Leakee

They plugged the main event again.

After the break Byron Saxton came out with Cameron Lynn and Naomi who was wearing quite the bodysuit. It was that good it distracted from their rather poor entrance theme. Byron got on the mic and said that in a moment two divas were going to come out and get hurt. Naomi took the mic and her gimmick is that she is a black female Delirious... honestly I have no other way to describe her. She rambled nonsensically into the microphone and Lynn responded with “AHAHAHAHAHA YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH”. This was different.

Match Two: Naomi & Cameron Lynn Vs Cameron Lee & Kaitlyn

Before the bell Kaitlyn shook her ass, I approve of this. Lynn has the the most absurd pair of glittery Ug boots I have ever seen, she also has a giant blonde wig that was pulled off seconds into the match. William Regal was fantastic on commentary as usual during this match. Naomi worked on Kaitlyn's arm before tagging Cameron Lynn in who also worked over the arm, she also yelps after every single move. Naomi whipped Kaitlyn into the corner and she jumped to the second turnbuckle and hit a reverse elbow and tagged in Cameron Lee. Lee made a pretty good babyface comeback, even pulling out the Mysterio trademark wheelbarrow-into-a-bulldog move. Finish saw Lee run to the ropes where Lynn grabbed her leg, Lee turned round to eat a jumping calf kick by Naomi.

Winners: Naomi's bodysuit & Cameron Lynn

Regal wanted to get a date with the winners. Don't blame him.

The cameras switched to Ziggler's brother Briley Pierce who was interviewing Richie Steamboat (new names for him on a postcard). Briley wanted to know why Steamboat had been kicking Husky Harris in the face for the last few weeks. Richie noted that the first time was an accident, the second time he heard Aksana cowering in fear with Husky standing over her. He said he protected her as Aksana turned up and they walked off together while porn music played in the background.

They aired a vignette for The Ascension reciting the poem 'Now I lay me down to sleep'. Featuring everyone's favourite rat Conor O Brian, Primo's brother, Eddie Guerrero's daughter and some other guy.

Match Three: Erick Rowan w/ Vance Archer's music Vs Big E Langston

Big E Langston is short but built like a brick wall (my favourite kind of wrestler) while Rowan is tall, bald with a giant ginger beard (my least favourite kind of wrestler). They clobbered each other with headbutts, elbows and forearms and it was apparent early that Rowan is not all that co-ordinated. Not much else happened to the finish which saw Rowan go for a big splash, Langston got his knees up and hit a belly-to-belly suplex for the 1-2-3.

Winner: Big E Langston

On The Box with Briley Pierce:

They rolled footage of a mascot punching Brad Maddox who sold this like a KING. The mascot then walked out who revealed himself to be Brad Maddox. Brad asked if Briley was happy with what happened last week. Briley asked if Brad punched himself last week, Brad said no and said he found the mascots suit in Briley's locker room. Maddox then announced he had signed Briley's first match next week and Briley made a sad face.

Match Four: Mike Dalton Vs “Very European” Mr Antonio Cesaro w/ Dean Malenko's James Bond music (A thousand buys)

Even before the match had started Regal was gushing over Cesaro while dissing the entire nation of Switzerland at the same time. Dalton is still looking for his first win and I don't think it is going to happen tonight, but he did put in a good showing. Cesaro was a powerhouse early but Dalton was attempting to ground him. Dalton then went to leapfrog over Cesaro and he caught him in mid-air and killed him with a Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, that was GIFworthy. Regal documented Cesaro's travels all over the world and was really doing a number putting him over as something special. Cesaro then worked over Dalton with a number of submissions and it was all glorious. To finish the match Cesario morphed into his previous wrestling persona and hit a brutal Swiss Death (youtube it) and followed up with the Ricola Bomb. This was a thing of beauty.

Next up we had Percy Watson and Titus O Neal wearing some sharp suits. Watson then proceeded to sing the worst rendition of Peaches and Herb's 'Reunited'. They also said something about a match with Rick Victor and Jinder Mahal next week.

Match Five for the FCW Heavyweight Championship: Leo Kruger(c) Vs Husky Harris

Leo Kruger is a big stud from South Africa who won the vacant championship not too long ago, and Husky Harris should be on WWE television. He is also the brother of the former FCW champion Bo Rotundo who was allegedly taken out by Kruger. Looking on is Aksana, Richie Steamboat and the FCW GM Maxine. The commentators pointed out that every wrestler who had won the FCW championship had appeared on WWE television at some point after. If you look at the list of names it is not a lot to brag about.

Another Ascension vignette aired. I still don't know who the other guy is and Conor has fabulous sideburns.

Back from the break Kruger was working over Husky and it was all good stuff. They soon started wailing each other and it was even better stuff. Husky hit a big splash in the corner but Kruger manage to apply a sleeper hold, Husky managed to escape and hit a uranage but Kruger kicked out. It should be noted Husky's trunks say “I Am War”. The referee ended up getting taken out and Husky hit a twisting complete shot, but the referee wasn't about able to count the pin. While this was going on Steamboat was trying to throw the referee back in when Husky went after Richie. With Husky distracted Kruger applied a rear naked choke on the ground and Husky tapped out. Controversy.

Closing Comments:

Not a bad show overall. Claudio's debut match was about as good as you could ask for to show him off and Lance Storm's student Dalton made him look like a beast. The main event could have gone longer but it served its purpose of continuing the feud between Husky and Steamboat... and I still don't get the Ascension.

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