April 18, 2012
LIVE! From London, England
by Emerson “Tax season is over” Witner
Tax season (and my job) may be over, but NXT Season 5 never will be! I do wish to congratulate the two recent graduates to SmackDown. Kick ass and take names.
The show begins with a Derrick Bateman voiced over video package documenting the Hawkins/Reks/Maxine/Curtis/Regal storyline, which was done like the opening to Glee. I hate myself for knowing that.
Percy Watson vs Johnny Curtis
William Regal says he was arrested Saturday after attending an illegal rave.
Maxine, in her slutty ring gear, joined the commentary table. Maxine threw Curtis under the bus for Striker being kidnapped.
These two wrestled three weeks ago and the announcers completely ignored the match. This week....they completely ignored the match.
Josh accuses Maxine of still being together with either Johnny or Derrick Bateman. Both Maxine and William deny those two being together.
Meanwhile Curtis drops the back of Percy's head on the top rope like a Rude Awakening.
In the ring Percy gets a 2 count with a Jackknife cover. Maxine says she had no knowledge of Curtis kidnapping Matt Striker.
William points out that Josh is being testy this week.
Maxine: Matt Striker is fine.
Josh: He was kidnapped for 3 weeks!
In other news Percy almost wins with The Heisman and then pins Dirty Curty with the Fireman's Carry Into a Reverse F-5!
Maxine: Every man deserves a foot massage from a beautiful woman.
William: I'll let you know when I get one.
Josh: You got one three weeks ago!
Winner: Percy Watson
After the match William grabbed the mic and told Johnny to come and do commentary while Maxine has her match next.
AJ's Disney theme is now used for NXT. I don't know.
Match #8 in the Best of 1,763 series
Maxine leads 5-2
Maxine vs Kaitlyn (w/Derrick Bateman)
Before the match started they played the I Got A Feeling song that was a theme for WrestleMania. I HATE HATE HATE HATE THAT SONG!
Dirty Curty wants to go take a shower, but William Regal won't let him.
The first words out of Johnny's mouth were saying it was Maxine's fault. Bateman puts on the headset and confirms that him and Kaitlyn are now a couple. A couple of what, I am not sure.
Maxine gets about 42 near falls in the first minute of the match.
Josh: William, you're not a big fan of Derrick Bateman are you?
Johnny: No one is. William, I am a fan of yours, I used to play your character on WCW/nWo Revenge.
Josh goes over the love rectangle while William is saddened that he hasn't dated anyone.
In the ring, Maxine has a Dragon Sleeper slapped on. I am shocked any Diva knows what that is. Kaitlyn taps.
After the match William took the mic to address the situation of them kidnapping Striker. William says they will be linked together for as long as this show exists. William forced them to sign a contract that makes Maxine the manager of Johnny Curtis.
A HUGE “sign it” chant starts as Maxine takes her dear sweet time before signing the contract. William shakes Maxine's hand before handcuffing Curtis and Maxine to one another.
I love this show!
Backstage Darren Young is drinking water when Titus O'Neil walks in. Darren yells at Titus for his ideas.
Titus cuts him off and shows him a contract for SmackDown. They are packing their bags and going to SmackDown.
In another locker room Matt Striker is staring at himself in the mirror. He will confront Reks and Hawkins tonight!
Jumping to the other side of the arena Hawkins and Reks are talking. They are worried that they are done because they are on camera being caught. Their plan is to blame Curtis and Maxine.
The Handcuffed Duo walk in and they all argue. Percy Watson walks in and out of the scene. Derrick Bateman walks in and out. Kaitlyn walks in, Maxine tries slapping her and ends up on her face.
After a commercial break, we are joined by Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks.
Reks says him and Hawkins have nothing to do with Striker. Curt says William doctored the footage to make them look bad.
Matt Striker wandered out with Hawkins' cane, dropping Robbie Brookside, Owen Hart and British Bulldog's names along the way.
WWE has fed and clothed him. That's nice of them.
Striker says he has been kidnapped for three weeks. No word on how he commentated on Superstars or WrestleMania despite it.
Hawkins called Matt a midget, so Striker took a swing. William got up and made our main event: Tyler Reks vs Curt Hawkins: Loser Gets Fired!
Loser Gets Fired
Special Guest Referee: Matt Striker
Tyler Reks vs Curt Hawkins
One of these men will be forever banished to Superstars. The other will continue to grace my presence.
A WrestleMania XXIX commercial aired. My brother has already booked our hotel room.
Reks beats on Hawkins as William compares them to a ferret and a rat. He doesn't care which one wins, but they only have to deal with one of them afterwards.
Neither worked as the face in this match. Almost like Austin Aries vs Kid Kash, just not as good.
Reks dove over the top rope onto his tag team partner, who was outside the ring. Reks with an STO for a 2 count.
Hawkins gets out of a Gut Wrench Powerbomb, but Reks goes behind and scores the win with a school boy!
Winner: Tyler Reks
Curt Hawkins is fired! Reks celebrates while Hawkins argues with Striker. Striker lays him out with one punch and yells that he is fired.
William gets on the mic to reiterate the firing. William shakes Reks hand and then swerves Tyler by firing him as well!
So this week we saw 2 guys get fired, 2 guys get moved to SmackDown and 2 others get handcuffed together.
What the hell will happen next week?