WWE Superstars TV Report – 6th June 2013
By James Cox
A show that had two fairly dull matches; a show that indicated that Rosa Mendes must still be in rehab; and a show where Tamina Snuka got a concussion.
The show kicks off with Cameron and Naomi coming out dancing to introduce Tons of Funk. “We’re counting down to Payback” says Tony Dawson. That won’t matter to anyone on this show; they won’t get anywhere near that card.
Out next are Primo & Epico to new music. It really suits them. Primo looks like he has bulked up a bit. Mendes isn’t with Primo & Epico as she’s still not back from her rehab stint. Apparently, Tons of Funk have a new finisher that they will unveil tonight called the “Boomshakalaka”. They don’t.
Match 1 – Tons of Funk v Primo and Epico
Tons of Funk pinned Primo & Epico in 7:16. Clay and Primo start off. Amusingly, Tony Dawson says that they have been working on things at ‘TOFU’ (Tons of Funk University). I really can’t imagine these two rotund individuals come across tofu very often. Clay’s new move is delaying his scoop slams so that he can show off how easy it is for him to hold his opponent in the air. It's as underwhelming as it sounds.
Tensai gets the tag and headbutts the Primo in the mid section and they trade armbars. Tensai hits his reverse nelson suplex, also holding it for as long as he can, for a 2 count. Primo rolls out of the ring to regroup as we go to a break.
Primo and Brodus are now in the ring and they trade holds. Primo tries to work his way free, but gets suplexed. Meanwhile, Dawson and Striker are continually discussing anything but what is happening in the ring – Payback and social media are the main topics. Apparently, Sweet T is ‘very active’ on Twitter. Great. Clay throws him to his cousin’s corner, so he gets a tag that lets Primo & Epico take over with a chop block to weaken Tensai and senton for 2. A huge dropkick from Epico stops Brodus’ comeback attempt, and Primo& Epico hit an impressive dual suplex.
Brodus rolls away from a splash attempt by Primo and both crawl to make tags. A trademark cannonball by Tensai leads to a pin attempt that Primo breaks up. Brodus also uses a headbutt to the mid-section to clear the ring. Tons of Funk hit a move called ‘Bad Intentions’, a double snap swinging neckbreaker, which apparently is one of the moves they developed at ‘TOFU’. A senton from Tensai gets the 3 count for Tons of Funk. A nothing match used to warm up the crowd before the Raw tapings start.
The Raw Rebound is next showing the McMahon’s segment from Monday followed, for the third week running, by The Shield and Team Hell No match.
Out comes Natalya followed by Tamina. Dawson talks about how she received an SUV from her cousin, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson – quite the way to put over a heel!
Match 2 – Natalya v Tamina Snuka
Natalya beat Snuka via submission in 4:47. It was feared after the match that Snuka may have suffered a concussion. The Divas lock up and Tamina wins the early moments until Natalya flips out of an armbar and hits a firman’s carry slam into a sharpshooter attempt but Tamina rolls out of the ring. The crowd are impressed by Natalya’s work here. Lots of talk about these two being second generation stars which lets Dawson and Striker to talk about Curtis Axel and more unrelated stuff from Raw and social media.
Tamina then beats up Natalya outside the ring, rolls her back in and dominates for some time with holds and strikes. Natalya then works her way out of a rear chin lock and is hit by a lariat but rolls out of the way of a knee drop. Tamina then does the same pair of moves again, this time hitting a leg drop for a 2 count. Natalya then powers out of a Fujiwara armbar, hits Tainina with a stiff slap and then executes a neckbreaker but doesn’t go for a pin. The two then ‘run’ the ropes (but they barely leave walking pace) and this time Tamina hits a swinging neckbreaker. 2 count but Natalya kicks out.
The finish saw Tamina try to go for a Samoan drop but when she is lifting Natalya up on to her shoulders, she loses control of her. You could see Tamina grimace as she loses control of her. Natayla slides down her back and has the quickness of thought to turn her over into a sharpshooter for the finish.
The nothing show ends with Curtis Axel and John Cena from Raw with Ryback’s post-match beat down of Cena.