WWE Monday Night Raw
September 2, 2013
Des Moines, IA
Triple H Books a Main Event
Raw began with Triple H, already in the ring, introducing "the face of the WWE," Randy Orton. Shield was at ringside as the protectors. Orton said that if you disrespect him, you're disrespecting WWE. Orton asked the crowd a series of questions about Daniel Bryan, closing with "Should Bryan give up his title shot at Night of Champions?" Orton screamed "YES!" Hunter chimed in. His job is to put out the best product, but he needs to maintain the health and wellbeing of his Superstars and Divas, also. He's worried about Bryan's health lately, saying that Daniel puts himself in positions to get hurt. He partially blamed the crowd for egging Bryan on.
Hunter then compared Bryan to Doink The Clown. Both are popular, but being champions would be bad for business. Hunter mocked Bryan, saying he could bring back the European title or Cruiserweight title, and would have no problem with Bryan trying to win one of those.
Daniel Bryan finally appeared. The crowd went ape for him. Bryan brushed off the Doink comparison, instead calling Hunter and Orton the only clowns he sees. Bryan said he won't give up, even though Hunter gave up his hair to be a corporate sellout, and Orton gave up being in the title picture until he was handed the belt. Bryan knows he can win the belt, against all odds, and Hunter and Orton both know it, too.
Hunter said Bryan's anger is misdirected. Bryan should be mad at Big Show, for standing by each week doing nothing to help Bryan even though he has an iron clad contract and cannot be fired. Oh, so they remembered. Thanks interwebz. How logical of Hunter. Bryan should be mad at the people handing him the beatings, but rather the people watching it. Hunter booked Big Show vs Daniel Bryan for later.
How refreshing to have a top babyface cut a serious promo for an upcoming title match without pretending he's at the Comedy Cellar.
After break, backstage, Hunter and Orton walked by Cody Rhodes. Cody asked why Orton is dodging Bryan, when he knows Orton isn't afraid of Bryan. Cody said Bryan vs Orton is what's best for business. HHH smirked, and said Cody doesn't decide what is best for business. He then brought up Cody's upcoming wedding, and how neither Hunter nor Orton received an invitation. HHH booked Orton vs Cody for later, intimating that if Cody lost, he'd be fired.
FANDANGO vs The Miz
Miz submitted Fandango with the Figure Four. During a commercial break, Miz hit a boot to Fandango's face that caused some bleeding, so we came back with referee Charles Robinson wearing the latex gloves. Fandango was selling his left knee throughout the match, even after hitting offensive moves. So he was banged up, and it cost him. Fandango was selling both his left knee and nose after losing.
Backstage, Booker T tried to talk some sense into Daniel Bryan. He said Bryan shouldn't be picking this fight that he cannot win.
Dolph Ziggler vs The Ryback
The Ryback squashed Dolph Ziggler. Brad Maddox ordered this match during the break on WWE App, but didn't say who Dolph's opponent would be. Dean Ambrose attacked Dolph before the bell could ring, so everyone assumed he was the guy. Dean told Dolph to learn to respect the business. The Ryback then came out, greeted by a loud "Goldberg!" chant, and was announced as the opponent. Total squash here until Ryback went for his meat hook clothesline, which Dolph countered. Dolph had a brief rally until Ryback hit the clothesline, and finished Dolph off with the Shellshock.
Backstage, Brad Maddox interrupted Stephanie and Triple H. Apparently Big Show is refusing to wrestle Daniel Bryan. Stephanie said she would handle this.
Los Matadores are coming to WWE. I don't think they'll be Los Matadores by this time next year.
Stephanie McMahon calls out Big Show
Stephanie said that her friend, Big Show, helped her out a lot when she was younger, teaching her the ropes while she grew up backstage. Yikes. Big Show came out, and the two hugged in the ring. Okay this shit I can't stand. Sucked when they did the HBK angle a few years ago, sucks now. Steph said that Big Show is broke. Show was bordering on tears. Steph said Show has no money, and needs this job. Now Show is crying. Steph said his contract isn't so iron clad, and Show has to worked to keep it. She then called Show old, saying he could be done anytime. Oh, a step further, Show has no other skills. If he leaves WWE, there's no job elsewhere for him. This is all why Big Show must do what Hunter says, and wrestle Bryan later. Oh Christ. Stephanie finished by saying that Big Show won't live long, because he's a giant, and they medically don't last long. So Big Show needs to think of his family, because HE'S BROKE AND WILL BE DEAD SOON! The gist, anyway. This show sucks. Steph left Show in the ring to cry alone.
Edge returns to Raw next week.
WWE App: Big Show went nuts backstage, throwing chairs and suitcases around.
JBL asked what did Big Show expect, his contract was written by John Laurinaitis. "Who thought Skateboard could do anything right?"
Primetime Players vs 3MB
Titus pinned Jinder after the Sky High, which he has a different name for but I'm not sure what it is... because no one on the announce team has said what it is for the last three weeks. It was Jinder & Slater for 3MB. Titus still does the whistle gimmick while stomping his opponent in the corner. Giving Titus O'Neil a whistle is a bad idea. The guy gets blown up too easy as it is. Good match, going longer than I thought it would. Crowd was into it.
Backstage, Paul Heyman confronted Brad Maddox about the upcoming Night of Champions match between Axel & Heyman vs CM Punk. Triple H came in and kicked Brad out. Hunter said he approved the Night of Champions match, which bewildered Paul. Hunter said that Paul has weaseled out of confrontations forever, but this time will be different. Hunter was a face here, saying that Paul will finally get the beating he deserves, which is best for business. Why doesn't Paul just get Brock to come back and kill Hunter again?
Vignette: Bray Wyatt talked about Icarus. Not of CHIKARA fame. Bray warned Kane, but Kane didn't listen. "Where's Kane?" Lawler called Bray the "Minister of Sinister."
Cody Rhodes vs Randy Orton
Randy Orton pinned Cody Rhodes with an RKO in what ended up being a strong match. It was, however, another segment where all the talk is about how a wrestler doesn't know anything but wrestling, and has no outside prospects if fired. Cody grew up in the business, and needs to save his career. Anyway, the people didn't buy this as a career saving match for Cody early. During the match, they cut to a group of superstars watching the match on a monitor. The group included a bunch of babyfaces... and Fandango. There was a semi-loud Goldust chant when Cody broke out the sliding throat strike his brother always did. After that spot, the match got good. Cody tried for a top rope moonsault, but Orton stepped out of the way. Orton begged for a reaction strong, and the time it took cost him. Cody countered an RKO with the CrossRhodes for a strong nearfall. Cody then tried for a schoolboy, but Orton kicked out. Cody followed with the Disaster Kick, but Orton stepped away, and Cody sold an injured knee in the landing. Orton kicked Cody's legs out, and hit an RKO for the pinfall victory. The crowd cared late, which is a testament to both Orton and Cody.
Telling everyone how a wrestler wouldn't succeed outside of wrestling doesn't exactly make Cody come across like a hero we should care about, though. The announcers opined about the end of Cody's career after the match. Hunter came out, and told the crowd to let Cody hear it. Hunter said he respects Cody, but for business, Cody is fired. Cody was begging Hunter not to do it. Cody faked crying, while a small number of fans chanted "Thank you, Cody." Lawler wondered what Cody would do, while JBL wondered what his fiancée is thinking.
A Different Side of CM Punk
Punk came out with a kendo stick, wanting a fight with Heyman. He's ready to give him an ass kicking, but he awaits Night of Champions for it. Tonight, he had something to say to the people. Punk guarantees that he will make it past Curt Axel, and he guarantees he'll get Paul Heyman. He says the people will see a different side of Punk in thirteen days. Punk broke Paul's heart, but now, he'll break his face. He promised. After the promo, Punk stayed in the ring while they replayed a video package about the Punk vs Axel match last week. The video ended and we came back to about 30 more seconds of Punk in the ring playing up to the crowd. Have to keep the top guy on screen for as long as possible, you see.
Second hour of the show was better than the first, but this show still sucks.
Backstage, Big Show and Daniel Bryan discussed the main event. Show didn't want the match, but Bryan looks forward to it. Bryan said he'll beat Big Show just like he did for his first World title.
Natalya vs Brie Bella vs Naomi for a title shot
AJ Lee on commentary said that neither of these three deserve a title shot. So, before anyone could win, AJ jumped in the ring and attacked the participants causing a no contest. All three ganged up on AJ for what was the most clumsy triple team effort I have seen in a long time, possibly ever. This. Killed. The. Crowd. Dead. The other Total Divas girls were out there for the match, and they just stood there cheering on the three geeks beating up AJ. All the Total Divas girls then left, while AJ laid beaten in the ring. Hour three off to a great start...
Los Matadores are still coming. Oh, please, let's get a Brodus Clay debut swerve again with these two. Their theme music does sound pretty good, though.
Rob Van Dam vs Damien Sandow
RVD pinned Sandow with the 5 Star Frog Splash. Alberto Del Rio's music attempted to disrupt RVD, causing a loss, but that didn't work.
The Smackdown Preview is... How far will Daniel Bryan go?
Backstage, the three Divas from the #1 contender match were whining to Stephanie about not getting the title shot. Steph made AJ vs Natalya vs Brie vs Naomi for Night of Champions.
Backstage, Cody Rhodes said Triple H and the McMahons have hated the Rhodes family for decades. They humiliated Dusty, then Dustin, and now Cody. Cody left in anger, not answering a question about what his fiancée thinks. Wonder if she's coming in as a character?
The Superstars of WWE were making their way to the stage to watch the main event.
Big Show vs Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan wanted the fight to prove he can do anything. Big Show didn't want the match because Daniel Bryan is his friend, and Show was afraid he would kill Bryan. Show kept yelling at Bryan not to make him do this match. Basically, D-Bry is such an easy person to beat up that Show felt bad being in the match. The crowd didn't care for this story. Or the first part of the match. Bryan kept attacking Show, but Show would cut Bryan off every time. The crowd was scary quiet during this match until Bryan came off the top rope only to be caught with a Big Show spear. Show then set up for the WMD, but decided against it and feigned leaving the ring. Triple H and the Shield came out, and Shield surrounded the ring making sure Show didn't leave. Hunter told Big Show to finish Bryan off. Show refused. He said it wasn't right.
Yes, the guy going for the world title was being beaten so bad by Big Show, that Big Show didn't feel right about continuing. Shield ran in to attack Bryan, and Show was about to run in for the save when Hunter told Big Show to stay out of it, now. Hunter called him "Paul" and said he didn't want to fire Big Show. The Shield hit the triple team powerbomb on Bryan right in front of Big Show, who was crying at this point. Hunter told Big Show to bundle up all his energy, and knock Daniel Bryan out. Big Show still refused. Stephanie's music hit, and she faced off with Big Show on the entrance ramp. Steph told Big Show to think about his family. The family he can't support because he is broke, of course. Big Show was torn, and walked back to the ring. Hunter egged him on, and for a moment Show looked like he would punch Triple H. In the end, Big Show finally did knock out Daniel Bryan. Steph and Hunter told Show he did the right thing, while Big Show was crying and walked backstage with the McMahons. Funny enough, The Ryback on stage looked ashamed of Big Show.
Randy Orton came out to finish off Daniel Bryan. Or, just stand and pose over his beaten body, rather. The end.
The writing of the Big Show character tonight was awful. This show sucked mostly because of that, with other contributing factors mixed in. It's the kind of show I bet some people loved because they'll over inflate Punk's promo and Bryan's promo, thinking they were great and carried the show. They weren't, and they didn't. I figure next week Edge will return to talk to Big Show about his actions. Or maybe, Hunter will somehow trick Edge into thinking his job as a guest every once in a while is threatened if he doesn't do something to Daniel Bryan. Who knows? I sure don't. Three weeks until How I Met Your Mother, so there's that. Bye!