Sunday, 15 September 2013 20:55
Recap by Ryan Pike (@RyanNPike) for the Wrestling Observer
In TJ and Nattie's house, she's putting a ribbon on TJ's cat. She's stressing out about the last bits of wedding planing. Nattie's family arrives – including Jim Neidhart – to help with the last bits of the wedding. Nattie's mom sewed her a wedding dress, which would be great except that Nattie already has her dream dress picked out. Nattie's sister calls the dress hideous. Nattie is more diplomatic when telling her mom that she's wearing another dress.
In Orlando, the WWE Performance Center opens. All the girls are there talking things up. Jane (from talent relations) thanks the girls for coming. Jane comments that with the Bellas out, they may bring “one or two” of the girls up. Jane checks in with Eva Marie and JoJo and tells them there are main roster spots available, saying they'll need people to be valets soon. JoJo calls Eva Marie cocky and pledges to get one of the valet spots. Meanwhile, at John Cena's house, Nikki calls Brie to talk about leggings. John comes in and he has a “bit of a problem”...his family is getting together soon. He'd like her to come meet everybody. She's stoked. But with his schedule, his family set it up for the only day off he really has – the day Nattie gets married. Uh-oh! (Doesn't John Cena have access to a plane? Didn't they do an episode about that? Can't they do both?) Anyway, John's not going to the wedding – he figures Nattie will understand the importance of being with family – and he hopes that Nikki will come with him.
We're at RAW backstage and Nikki falls down trying to get into the building on crutches. Backstage, Eva Marie chats with the Funkadactyls about the chance to be a valet. Mark (from talent relations) gathers everyone (plus JoJo and Nattie) and gives them the news: Eva Marie will be in Nattie's corner as she takes on Trinity. Eva Marie says she has to hide her excitement because of JoJo. Ariane and Trinity try to cheer JoJo up. Elsewhere, Nikki finds Nattie to talk to her about the whole family reunion and wedding thing. (In the background, you can hear Daniel Bryan's entrance music.) She explains everything and Nattie's a bit quiet. Both of them are sad. Nattie's a bit cranky because it's “days” before her wedding. She politely thanks Nikki for talking to her about it...in the most angry, annoyed tone possible. Elsewhere backstage, JoJo is sitting alone and basically ignores Eva Marie when she sits down with her. Eva Marie is angry that JoJo isn't excited for her. JoJo says she's not upset about the roster spot, but she has a lot on her mind. Eva calls her annoying and wanders off.
Later on backstage, Nattie is sad and talks to Brie about things. She says she feels overwhelmed about the wedding. Brie cheers her up, saying she can put her in a sharpshooter if she wants. Aww. Nattie gives Eva a pep talk prior to her debut. The Bellas (with Brie in a different outfit than she was eight seconds ago talking to Nattie) and JoJo gather around the monitor to watch Eva Marie's debut. Based on the ring skirt, this match was taped for Superstars. Anyhow, Nattie beats Trinity. After the match, everyone hugs. Later, John and Nikki head off to go to the Cena family gathering, taking a bus to a private plane. I remember that plane from previous episodes involving the plane.
In a hotel, Trinity calls Jon. She says she has to call him back, as Ariane is calling her. She sounds in pain and is calling from the same hotel. Trinity goes to check it out and Ariane is in so much stomach pain that she's doubled-over and crying. After asking her where it hurt, Trinity calls for medical assistance. Then she asks the camera crew to take a hike (politely). The paramedics arrive and examine Ariane, then stretcher her out of the room. Like a great pal, Trinity follows the ambulance with her rental car. Six hours (and a commercial break) later, Trinity picks Ariane up from the hospital. Long story short – it's probably menstrual. Thanks for teaching us about this stuff, E! Trinity calls Jon and catches him up, although she uses the term “girl issues” rather than go into detail. Again in Orlando, we visit an NXT taping. Eva Marie invites JoJo to have a conversation. She wonders why JoJo's all competitive and grumpy now. JoJo asks why she needs to be super-excited for Eva when they're going after the same things. Long story short: they're probably breaking up (as roommates and training buddies). Sad music plays.
It's the day of Nattie and TJ's wedding! The cast of Total Divas arrives for the wedding, while we get bits and pieces of Nattie getting her hair, make-up and dress set up. Oh, and Jaret's coming to the wedding. And TJ doesn't know about Jaret saying he liked her. Trinity and Brie agree that if Jaret stands up at the “if anyone has objections” part, they will double drop-kick him. It's also full of lightning and thunder outside, despite it being a beach wedding. The wedding planner says the outside wedding is probably not a great idea. Nattie complains about things going wrong, asking rhetorically “What else can go wrong today?” And then Jaret arrives at the wedding venue as dramatic music plays. Oh, E!, you get me.
After the break, they're fussing over the cat's little bow tie. To be fair, the cat looks adorable. In a weird bit of family continuity, Nattie's mom talks just like Stu Hart. Like, exactly like him. JoJo and Eva arrive together, apparently not telling anyone about their platonic break-up so not to distract from Nattie's special day. Ariane and Vincent (!) arrive, as Ariane apparently realized she can't live without him. In a flashback, he visited her and said he heard she was in the hospital and wanted to see how she was. Awww. Meanwhile, in West Newbury, Mass., we meet the extended Cena family. Everyone's joking and laughing, generally teasing John's dad for being old. Nikki is happy to be there, but sad to be missing Nattie's wedding.
30 minutes til bell-time at the wedding and Trinity, Jon (Uso), Bryan Danielson and Brie are greeted by TJ in a suit. He admits he's nervous – likening it to being at the curtain, but once your music hits, you're fine. Jaret says hello and shakes TJ's hand and congratulates him. Jaret tells TJ all about him and Nattie hanging out when they were in Calgary. TJ is taken aback, having never heard of any of this before. TJ asks him if they can have a word outside. They talk about Nattie texting him recently, with Jaret mentioning he thought he knew. TJ asks to speak to Nattie alone. Uh-oh! After the break, everyone leaves the room and he says he's about the whole Jaret thing. Does she even want to get married? (Spoiler: yes.) Damien Sandow (credited as such) announces that the wedding will now begin. It's taking place in the lobby of the venue instead of outside on the beach. Will the wedding even happen? (Spoiler: yes.) Nattie explains how much she loves TJ and they hug it out. TJ notes it was awkward to find out about all this stuff today. She goes in for a kiss and he says she has to wait til the wedding. (In thirty seconds). Downstairs, there is a wedding. Nattie uses a lint roller on Jim Neidhart's awesome goatee. Harry Smith (not credited) is one of the groomsmen. They exchange vows and the wedding is complete! They are married. Nattie says that “legally, I am Nattie Neidhart Wilson. That's Mrs. Wilson to you.”
Wedding reception time, with Sandow (again) emceeing. Nattie and TJ have their first dance. Nikki calls Brie's phone, asking to speak to Nattie. She apologizes again for missing the ceremony and tells her how much her friendship means to her. Nattie explains how much that gesture meant to her. Aww. Nattie throws the bouquet and Brie gets a leaping grab – Bryan looks nervous. TJ cues up a wedding video package of the two of them (mostly Nattie and him in WWE). Everyone dances, including Jim Neidhart and Vincent. Finally, we meet up again with Nikki and John Cena. They discuss how into each other they are. Where do they go from here, asks Cena. He asks her to move into his house with her. Wait, wasn't she in his house at the beginning of this episode? She notes that she had a rule that she wanted to be engaged before she lived with a guy, but she breaks her own rule because it's John Cena and she's already seen how wicked his house is. Also, they're in love and stuff like that.
FINAL THOUGHTS: The first chunk of the season is over and most of the storylines have been neatly tied up. Thanks for reading the recaps, folks, and we'll see you again when Total Divas returns on November 17, the week before Survivor Series.Occasional continuity errors aside, as a glimpse into the backstage workings of WWE, Total Divas is shockingly fun and watchable. They just need to strike the right balance of romantic entanglements and career stuff.